I used to dress off the peg
Now my nieghbours take their washing in at night.

Old Lady: Do you always play by ear?
Street Musician: Yes, lady, 'ere or 'ereabouts.

There has been a theft at Euro Disney. A man has been charged with taking the Mickey.

Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca.
One looked at the other and asked, 'Are you brown from the sun?'
'No,' replied the other, 'I'm Smith from The Times.'

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