Ha ha. Very funny. Seriously. We're new to this and what to do the best by our family.

My wife is at home, so mostly we need someone to help clean. Sometimes the maid would need to help watch the children, but mostly it will be cleaning and cooking. Basic English is essential but fluency is not essential.

And we aren't looking for a bargain either. Domestic labor is already inexpensive enough. A good fit is what is most important.