The Why's of Men...

NEVER UNDERSTAND A MALIYALI (INFO: I am not a Malu..)

Kuttappan is a Malayali working for a multinational
company in Mumbai.Not well educated and he is working as
a peon.Whenever Kuttappan hears somebody talk he
will
come in between saying that I know that very well I know
him very well like that.One day Kuttappan's Boss,a
foreign educated person & a North Indian was
talking
something about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Kuttappan was
passing by,suddenly he came in between saying that"oh
Arni,he is my best friend".Kuttapan' s
boss laughed at
him saying that how can u be a friend of
Arnold
Schwarzenegger you are only a peon living in

India .
Kuttappan said"if u won't believe it's your
problem I

can't help you,Ok".The Manager said"I am going on a
trip to US next week you come as my assistant and we
will go to Arnold 's house and see what happens".
Kuttappan agreed with a smile.A week after they
landed in US.First they went to NY.Arnold was there in
NY.They went to meet Arnold.Seeing
Kuttappan Arnold ran
towards Kuttappan and hugged him asking that hey
Kuttappan long time no see,where were you man?Kuttappan
went with Arnold
to have some coffee.Boss was stunned.
When Kuttappan came back the boss told him that we will
go to Clintons place.Let's find out whether u knows him
or not.Kuttappan agreed with a smile.At
Clinton 's

home
Clinton also did the same as Schwarzenegger asking that
where were you
my friend for long time?Kuttappan
went to
have tea with Clinton while the boss was sitting outside
the gate.When Kuttappan came back boss said I have to go
to Vatican to get blessings from
Pope BENEDICT 16, so u
come with me.At the Vatican crowd from all over the
world is waiting to see Pope BENEDICT 16.Kuttappan and
his boss are also
there.Boss asked Kuttappan whether he
knows Pope BENEDICT 16.Kuttappan said y not?Boss told
Kuttappan that he will not believe this.Kuttappan asked
boss to wait for some time and went inside the crowd.
After 15 minutes

Kuttappan came on the balcony along

with Pope BENEDICT 16.Pope
BENEDICT 16 was holding
Kuttappan's hand.Kuttappan's boss became unconscious and
fell down.When Kuttappan came back his boss was on a

stretcher by his side nurses and paramedics.Kuttappan
asked"Sir what happened?" Then boss told;"Kuttappa u
know Arnold I believe,u know
Clinton I believe and u
know Pope John Paul,I believe that too but WHEN U CAME
WITH POPE
AT THE BALCONY THE CROWD WERE ASKING WHO IS
HOLDING THE HAND OF KUTTAPPAN, after hearing that I
became unconscious.
LESSON FROM THIS STORY:
NEVER EVER UNDER ESTIMATE A MALAYALI!!!
SPECIAL
================================

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapour lock)

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

***Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!*

*For the LADIES*

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt,
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour .
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."
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There was this man full drunk and sleepy. He was sleeping when his kids come in and start playing with his willy....
Man tries to shove off kids but due to more than his usual number of pegs.. cant help and let them play with his w...y

One of his kid asks "Dad - whatz this"
Prompt comes the reply - A parrot.

Next day he wakes up in hospital.. & asks Doc. why is he here.
Doc recommends him to ask his wife..
He talks to his wife.. she is ashamed of talking to him and tells him to talk to his kids.

Man is frustated and calls his 2 kids and orders them to tell him what had happend ..

Kids tell him...

"Dad, we were playing with your parrot. It suddenly spitted on us. We got angry and wrangled his neck. burned the nest and broke his two eggs".

Man faints on hearing..