Few Reasons Why You Shouldn't Mess Around with Your Child (this one for e4M63)
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
jauntie, that was a cool one...LOL
hi cornellian, hows this friday going for you?
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
LOL jauntie. Witty greeter he is!
On the subject of children and parenthood, I just found this little story in my Yahoo in-box:
A very loud, unattractive, mean woman walked into Villagio with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Villagio Greeter says "Good morning, and welcome to Villagio. Nice children you have there. They must be twins."
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,"Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9 and theother one's 6. Why the hell would you think they are twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
" I'm neither blind nor stupid", replied the Greeter."I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
Not sure I can jauntie, the little hooligans have me boxed in.
and you to find out! ;o)
And girls?
... and so will a lot of middle aged men!
boom! boom!
;o)
(read that on some 1950s coaster - so I guess times don't change lol)
Yes, jauntie, but at our age it's inexcusable!
;o)
Hello han19. They are still at the little hooligan stage/age.
how old are your kids e46, is if you dont mind telling it here.
oh yes,i love children, they are just marvellous.
happy heart
DRIVE SAFE,someone is waiting for you at home
They have amazing minds.
I was watching the world cup with my son who was 5 at the time. Referee shows a player a yellow card.
My son: Did he give him a yellow card?
Me: Yes, he did.
He: Did he take it?
He was reading his school book to me and stopped at "writing". wuh ruh so I said no, the w is a silent letter.
"why do they do this, to trick us?"
I love kids.