10 Things Learnt Through Experience

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and will never achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Never lick a steak knife.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant, unless you can see an actual baby.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a
big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the carp out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with