I disagree. I don't think that a mature Muslim society is more likely than a western society to provide all these things you mentioned -- "a more stable marriage, fewer single mothers, fewer teenage pregnancies, the security of a strong marriage, a secure future for the children, strong support from extended family, morally sound family members..."
Fewer single mothers? Sure -- but only because in most Muslim societies it's illegal to be a single (unwed) mother.
Fewer teen pregnancies? Are we considering the fact that many teens get married in Muslim societies (or do you mean unwed teen mothers?)?
A secure future for the children? Define secure...
Morally sound family members? Surely you jest if you actually think that Muslim society produces more morally sound individuals than western society. I think both have enough messed up people to go head to head with one another (at least in the west most people don't wear their religion on their sleeves so they come off looking like hypocrites). The same bad stuff happens here as there -- people just choose not to talk about it or recognize it openly.
I have no doubt a lot of arranged marriages grow to become deeply loving, committed relationships. I have several friends who have arranged marriages, and they seem quite satisfied. And yes, it's hard to compare the two societies because divorce in most Islamic cultures carries with it a certain stigma that it doesn't in the west (so it certainly happens less frequently here). And though you think the numbers speak for themselves (divorce is more common in the west), I think it's hard to ignore the contributing factors that CLEARLY influence the frequency or infrequency of it happening in the two societies.
Could my parents choose a suitable man for me to marry? Certainly -- I know they would choose wisely and pick a man who would take good care of me. But would he attract me? Share my interests and outlooks on issues, my sense of humor? Get my engines revved up? Probably not. Most likely it would be a passionless marriage to a swell guy who I'd be better off having as a friend, and I would forever be attracted to other men while feeling obligated and pressured to stay with the one I was bound to.
And imagining that this is how I would feel, I certainly wouldn't want to sign on to be with a man who would react this same way to me.
Who wants to feel like someone is only with them because they're obligated to? Not me.
"Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise."
-- Maya Angelou
I disagree. I don't think that a mature Muslim society is more likely than a western society to provide all these things you mentioned -- "a more stable marriage, fewer single mothers, fewer teenage pregnancies, the security of a strong marriage, a secure future for the children, strong support from extended family, morally sound family members..."
Fewer single mothers? Sure -- but only because in most Muslim societies it's illegal to be a single (unwed) mother.
Fewer teen pregnancies? Are we considering the fact that many teens get married in Muslim societies (or do you mean unwed teen mothers?)?
A secure future for the children? Define secure...
Morally sound family members? Surely you jest if you actually think that Muslim society produces more morally sound individuals than western society. I think both have enough messed up people to go head to head with one another (at least in the west most people don't wear their religion on their sleeves so they come off looking like hypocrites). The same bad stuff happens here as there -- people just choose not to talk about it or recognize it openly.
I have no doubt a lot of arranged marriages grow to become deeply loving, committed relationships. I have several friends who have arranged marriages, and they seem quite satisfied. And yes, it's hard to compare the two societies because divorce in most Islamic cultures carries with it a certain stigma that it doesn't in the west (so it certainly happens less frequently here). And though you think the numbers speak for themselves (divorce is more common in the west), I think it's hard to ignore the contributing factors that CLEARLY influence the frequency or infrequency of it happening in the two societies.
Could my parents choose a suitable man for me to marry? Certainly -- I know they would choose wisely and pick a man who would take good care of me. But would he attract me? Share my interests and outlooks on issues, my sense of humor? Get my engines revved up? Probably not. Most likely it would be a passionless marriage to a swell guy who I'd be better off having as a friend, and I would forever be attracted to other men while feeling obligated and pressured to stay with the one I was bound to.
And imagining that this is how I would feel, I certainly wouldn't want to sign on to be with a man who would react this same way to me.
Who wants to feel like someone is only with them because they're obligated to? Not me.
"Most plain girls are virtuous because of the scarcity of opportunity to be otherwise."
-- Maya Angelou