Shopping: A man's prospective (lol)

This is not my story, I am still single and i got it off some blog, its funny

Let me get this straight; I don't enjoy clothes shopping, never have
enjoyed it, and probably won't enjoy it any time in the coming future.
My idea of clothes shopping is buying clothes for necessity, just to
avoid having to walk around naked. Anyhow, with Eid moving closer, more
and more women seem to be hitting the shops every day, armed with their
cash and credit cards, ready to invade the clothes shops and strip them
dry (my wife being one of them). I have so far managed to steer clear
away from shopping malls and the whole "shopping fever" since Ramadan
started, avoiding any confrontation with wifey as she goes shopping
with her friends, family, and so on.

Phew.

But last night
was different. After a heavy iftar with the family, and after watching
a few TV shows, I got ready to sneak out of the house to avoid yet
another night of relentless, ruthless shopping.

"Honey?" She said.

"Dammit!" I thought, as I tried to slip my shoes on and make a run for it. "I need to go shopping today"

"Umm,
ok.. Don't you do that with your friends, or sisters, or aunts? (or
your cousins, or aunts cousins, or cat, or anyone else in the world
except me, I wanted to add, but decided it would be safer to just stop
there)", to which I got the answer that somehow everyone else in the
world was busy and the only person seemingly free enough to go shopping
with was (sigh) me.

So here we are in the parking lot of Bahrain
Mall about to walk inside. She's already invaded and conquered Seef
Mall, Aali Mall and a few others, so it was Bahrain Mall for today; as
it was Gerga'on tonight, it seems that a lot of the festivities have
shifted to the mall. There were a few colorful characters in costume,
that I think were supposed to represent Disney cartoons:

Thats
just distasteful, really. However, children were actually standing next
to this guy and taking photos! What a freaky memory to keep. This is
the kind of character that can haunt you in your dreams, but this
wasn't the worst of it.

There was some sort of dwarf character
(as in Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs) giving out balloons to the
children, but this guy was even scarier than the Makki Mouse character:

Damn.
Anyhow, I managed to delay the misery of shopping for approximately 2
minutes as I stood around taking photos of these freaky, freaky
creatures, but I had to face reality and follow my wife from shop to
shop as she looked at all sorts of clothes.

Thing I don't
understand is how a woman can spend so much time in one shop.
Seriously, it's not just my wife; the shopping mall was filled with
women, and each one seemed to spend unreasonable amounts of time
looking at every single piece of clothing in every single store. How can they keep up their interest for so long?

In my case, after walking into a clothes store, i'm able to keep up my excitement for approximately, ermmm.. 12 seconds.

Funny
that. So we're walking around from store to store, the shopping bags
are increasing in number, and my credit card starts feeling lighter..
During this whole shopping experience, I came to a number of
observations; womens clothes are usually smaller than mens clothes.
Seriously, take a look at any t-shirt in the ladies section and compare
it to the t-shirts in the men section; they're usually half the size.
That should technically mean they use almost half the material to make,
and should therefore be cheaper. Why do they cost twice as much as
ours? :S My belief is that it's a conspiracy, with clothes companies
not even bothering to create a seperate clothes line for women; just
using the same clothes the made for kids and labelling them "women" and
then charging ridiculous prices for them.

Bluh. Another thing;
it seems the newer models and mannequins are trying to promote a
"sexier" image, so they just keep them semi (or fully) naked. Ooh err.

While
straggling around one of the shops (which are always filled with women,
it seems, I was the lonely male there), I spotted another of my kind.
He walked in with his woman, and was obviously subject to the same kind
of agony I was going through. We glanced eyes for a milli-second. It
didn't last long, but there was some assurance there; it's as if we
were both telling each other, "hang in there, you're going to make it".
Freedom is but a few hours away (it was about half an hour before all
the shops closed), and then we can be free to run away to whichever
gahwa our heart pleases and hang out with the guys.

Well, a
little later the torture was over. The back seat of the car was filled
with shopping bags and my wallet seemed much lighter. But hey, it was
over. Tommorow, i'm making sure to sneak out a little earlier, or at
least find some way of becoming invisible before I get spotted leaving
the house.