Need Suggestion for Personal Issue

I am amazed at some of the opinion expressed to help this poor fellow. Bazigaar takes the cake :

""Avoid her for time being and pretend your having an affair with another lady ! Problem Solved

start coming home late and ignore her phone calls

tell her your looking for somone who will say I Love You

and you dont need her any more .. :)""

No wonder hospitals get a lot of food poisioning cases related to indian men.

I feel sorry for her. It is obvious you are emotionally insecure and too immature to be married. You posting your dilemma prove it. A good husband would be patient and discover how to make his wife comfortable in every sense. Try really listening to her and you will have your answers.

great advice from granny!

yes.. we had a very close relation that was kinda weird .. my parents were not too fond of it.. but my grandmother opened my eyes to many things in life

Did you grandmother really say that?

Apple she might call the police and have him thrown in jail for assault and attempted rape.

I worked as a relationship consultant for few years until i got caught for not having a license for practicing it. I don't think it is a career in a place like Doha but i try my best all with good intentions you know...

majority of marriage problems are a result of bad and/or boring sexual life.

Like my Grand mother used to tell me, marriage is all about role playing and butt-intercourse

lol.. apple, you seem to be quite experienced in offering solutions to the marriage problems.. didn't try to make some money out of it?

Try knocking at your own door one day and dress like a pizza delivery guy or even DHL delivery and pretend you have a package for her..

she'll probably resist in the start asking you to quit the game but act more serious about it although it is obvious that it's you and she knows it, she'll soon get into the role. Ask her to cry and pretend she is begging you to stop...

things like this bring the heat level up and spice the relation..

u already waste ur time reading ur feedback here.....so i think u should utiliz....

make it summary of above the suggestion in3 %viz A:Approved B:Approved with Comments C: Rejected.

use the option which is above 65%

I agree with Cat and Qatarisun - it must have been an arranged marriage and she probably wasn't that much into you. Shame! I feel for you guys. You just need to sit down and talk about it - figure out a way to make things work. It is hard to say how she feels other than to discuss (everyone is different), but if she really doesn't love you and finds it hard to get to love you, then... do you have an option for divorce?

Be Happy with what u have...while working for what u want...Remember, a happy & successful life begins with GOD and ends for GOD

was it arranged marriage? did you date you wife prior to marring her? did she have a chance to know you as a person before she married you? has she ever loved you??

whooooooooooooaaaaaa !!!

Need Help,

Personal problems should be solved within you both. Please do not express on air..Each and everyone will give you a different solution and also a new problem.

This shows the user is a unfaithful husband

You are very much open and she knows You never keep a secrete with you that’s why she keeps her feelings, love and affection to herself...

Usually women don't allow anyone to discuss their personal affairs openly

Women are always the emotions alternator in any relation and not the opposite .

You have two ways to discover if she really loves you or not .

let her feel in jealousy and ignore her .

if she feels bad and start to do something , thats mean she loves you and you need to teach her or show her best ways of acting with you .

if she didnt do anything , then its obvious she s not in love with you and she s in love with someone else . because somtimes woman might lie to save their marriage or pretend .

the more you show weakness, the more she will hold you by the balls. Man up and stop telling her i love you every 3 minutes and go out more often with your buddies to show her that you have a life. Now 2 things can happen:

1- She will want to leave you because she does not love you, and in this case, it is better you know now than later

2- She will realize she is losing you and start working more on getting you back towards her, and this will only happens if she loves you.

hey asif, you want to break their relation??

if he show this then she will think that, he really don't love her. what he said"i love you" is just for fun.

she will also think that he may fall love with some other girls. thats really dangerous for him. and finally he will loose her!!!!

it's not important to say each other "i love you"

most of the time women feel shy to tell this, but man not.

indian films are really very exagreegate on love and marriage issues. they are fake not real in life.they are just made by human not in reality.

you think yourself, how it's possible to fight with lots of people and get someone from them, marry her at this 3 hours film!!it's really conjust our mind and later we suffer for this.

so don't see indian movies.or never compare real life with films.

the problem with her is that she came from such family where they are not too much showing love each other. may be she lived a very sad life/she love someone and not get him as a result she is not happy on her life.but you don't need to think about that.don't force her to say something what she don't. just do what i am telling:

in this situation you need something to do..

you can go for some trip, better umrah in saudi arabia.

there you will have lots of time to stay with her. and from there you will see how the relation get closer. you will see how she loves you from there. just go and see.

because life is not a film, it's the reality and that's it.so don't be too upset. do what i said to you. tell her that you and she want to go for umrah what she say let me know...

don't panic man, she also loves you but expression is different. be positive... think positive....after all she is your honey.....

This is the same problem faced by a lot Giant Pandas in China! The Panda doctors are trying hard to make Panda couples to express their love to each other. But they seem disinterested. This is leading to the fall in the Panda population in China.

One fact has been established that Pandas can't/won't make love in Captiviy. When they are in the Privacy of a Bamboo forest...they have a better chance of courtship and love making.

So my advice would be, to go along with you wife to a Bamboo forest in Sichuan forest for a nice long honeymoon.

By posting your personal problem in qatar living and telling the whole public shows clear sign that the problem is in you and not your wife and i feel you married only for having time on bed and that does not show true love and i would suggest get the real meaning of true love or probably you are in love with another nationality female and want to get rid of your wife and if it is then i pity you

on a serious note some1 should wake him up and tell him that whatever happens in the movies hardly happpens in real life

poor guy is highly and badly influensed with the glamour world

he should be more practical towards life

Chrisni.... Thanks dear...

Dohaba.... Very greats words you have mentioned... thanks..

Also, Engg Hamza... Thanks dear..

Personal problems discuss with your wife and not with qatar living and all wife are not the same, stop using that sentence first of all, because just if your wife is not good do not blame it on all. you taught many things before marriage and nothing is happening, what do you want your wife to be a slave for you, for god damn it she is your wife and if your wife is not comfortable saying it then you approach her but do not force her and once again this personal problem should be within the walls of your house and stop being a clown here

Pls ignore the negative advises given by some of our QLers. Having food alone from outside……… sleeping on another bed ……….. etc. It will make the situation worse because shy related characters you can not change immediately. I can tell you that REALLY YOU ARE A LUCKY PERSON TO HAVE SUCH A WIFE.

dpatick he has spent a lot of money to bring her here this means he cares for her now what he should do???????????

pump oil wells in his house ????? or make a tower of gold??????

Why are you forcing her to tell you that she loves you? Would you like it if she tells you so without meaning it?

Look inside yourself and see how you are as a husband. How have you been showing your love to her? Are treating her well? Are you treating each other with respect?

To be loved, you should make yourself worthy of her love in the first place.

shanawaztji she should consider this and love him i feel pity for him even i m a werewolf but still i have a heart of a human being

take her to Bombay Chowpati

She loves you too much, this is the reason why she is not allowing you to wasting time on chat but like to spend with her. You are just saying “I love you” and think that it is enough. Most girls feel it uncomfortable as you said and we males easily say I LOVE YOU but females don’t, especially from middle class Indian girls. So dear don’t worry about this. I say from my experience SHE IS LOVING YOU VERY MUCH but not expressing in the way you are expecting. You start love that character then you will realize how she loves you.

asif poor guy spent a lot of money for bringing her here

i dont think your approach will be fruitful

guys actually tat was my suggestion may be im wrong

engineer humza have u seen any of the above mention movies

asif khan...

threatning will win only a fake love.

yara he is serious and u ppl qre suggesting him movies.. its life..

if you had combined the above mentioned = Divorce :/

try to express your love with acts not with words....women usually asking the things you don't do.

so invite her to a restuarant , a walk in corniche , a movie night, ...you know ...these activities that make you both share a beautiful memories.

and expect anything, but i don't think that she doesn't love you.

it is you only who demanding too much.

i had an experience before with a girl i loved..she asked me to play a game, she will say a word and i have to repaly immediately what is in my mind when i hear this word...i hesitateed..and it ended up with a big fight.

after few months , we played the game again, but i had to ask ...she hesitated a lot , my reply was a smile, so it depends on the person himself.

don't be demanding too much, don't let your thought kill you, and don't make judgments on the word "i think"

just dont keep any physical realtions with her and instead of sleeping wit her sleep on the sofa or another bed instead of doing breakfast wit her go outside and be less at home and never call her at her cellphone just come home and go to the office then next day and in weekends just go alone wit friends. Dont talk to her from today onwards keep distance from her.

and always show tat ur angry mood and be a man dear.

needhelpfromql you have got enough help now after all goes well update us :)

jhon jani are u some how related to taran adrash

From the Book of Human Psychology

The problems.

You are living in the husband role and she's living in the wife role.

You were never friends.

Your marriage was arranged.

You may be atleast 5 or more years older than your wife so that she cant see you as a friend - Age does matters.

You expect love from her and you asks for that(Big FAIL).

She is afraid of you.(Just a smile or saying that you love her will not cure this)

Solution

First imagine that she's just your friend. Your friendship grows day by day.

Tell her everything that you may share with a friend.

Show love than saying it.

Make her comfortable that you are not her protector/big brother even though you are older than her.(Very Important)

Never expect love. It will be there in her mind. What you want to do is make her comfortable and make feel free to say/show.

If you break any of these rules. You'll probably not gonna win. You will never get a girl as you like. You may get a custom build pre programmed robot.

Dear Bro,

Try this to see is there any thing gonna come from her mouth. atlease an indication that she love u.

When you return home take some flowers for here and if you can cook the dinner for that would add some essence do all this with your honest love and care with full of fun.

Have a romantic evening...talk about some great love affairs from films,real life,express you self with affection.

Try get some openions on any other matters. She may open up once you open up yourself.Dont forget to respect her views rather arguing with that.

Then come to your love about her..Hopefully she will give her what u want to here...

I see you are saying 'short tempered; this could be puting a wall between u two, try to be cool....

Get her to talk more with any thing...

find out what she likes and dislike pamper her with your love not only by words action as well.

Even if she is not telling love u hope her actions resembles these...

act like a boy whose trying to win the love from a girl rather than acting like a typical husband.

Think you are not married but trying to win your girl friend.

Do not try to hurt her remember she is away from her home.

Have great time...Best regards

dear ,

i think she is shy or something like that , thats y she want u to say it first and then she obviously reply

n ofcourse she also has to say without asking that she loves u.just make her feel ur love , she will say by herself.

not all girls are like that, bt try to communicate and understand her.dont be angry with her.

take her out on dinner, watch romantic movies lol

n take care of her

john jani are you here to help or to show the profit earned by the movies :/

jhon jani that comment was for RNBJ

tara rum pump pump pump pump!!!!

ye he needs to understand her more !

bazigar he already has a wife so ddlj bad idea

kkhh also bad he is already having problem with one wife

how will he handel 2(u not suggesting him having an affair?)

i m also from mumbai nice to meet u :_-)

can i advise DDLJ , Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

You can e mail me on my gamail as [email protected], I will again give you a brotherly suggestion that you dont take any suggestion from above people, they will not help you.

If you think we can share friendship and discuss things togather, I am from Mumbai.

baazigar dont suggest flop movies he will b confused

you need to watch Kaal Ho Na Ho Six Days Ladki In experiment the formula on your wife .. Jai SRK !!!

Dear Tinkerbell

Your are correct yaar, she is very reserved. Yah she is not open.. I agree with you I have to give time to her... I will love from my side the same..

I know its not the correct place, but I cannot found anyone to whome i can discussed..

You peoples are like invisible friends.

Dear Cat:

Its not about the child problem, its fine and eveythig fine going. I vil not hurt in this time to her when she is pregrent.

Irshard Bhai:

App ki baat sunke mereku bohot sukun mila... Ke koi to hai jo mere jaisa hai... sukriya bhai...

Dear All.. I want to close the forum...

Its her tradational..> I dont want to fight her...

thanks & warm regreds,,,,

man you might have heard the quote many times "Truth is Stranger then fiction" and further indian soap films (most of them) are not even fiction husband and wife is a long term relationship every body is different in his way of expression other wise there would be no different fields of art. my suggestion would be to give her time and control your temper (controlling temper is very imp) make her comfortable as much as you can and try to gain her trust of all kinds she will be frank in her expression only if she is comfortable with you.

Indian gurls are most of the time very much possive so its normal 1.5 yr is a long time but not long enough try to make her happy by doing some activities likes outing movies and shopping she defiantly loves you but u need to give her reason to express.. thats the key..

john jani ROFL

Both !

john_jani what a timing Sirji !

Stop keep on telling I LOVE YOU and ignore all the areas especially *** and if you beg for everything then your life will be in critical. Dont give up to such girls. your case seems like new couple statements. wake up yarr... and dont run behind her. She will understand you but it takes time and you have to show up that you changed. i think all the time you begging for love but she simply ignore you,,,,,

Not all women are same and I do not see any necessity to be told I love you by either of the partners and absolutely nothing wrong in that ... actions speak louder than words.... if actions also speak otherwise there may be an issue...but just not saying those 3 words, I dont think is an issue... and yes real life and reel life are different.... dont get carried away by Kareena saying I love you to Shahid/ Saif or Katrina to Salman....

I wanna get one to love me because i have never see a girl say i love you, i need who ready to be my best friend,mother, lover to me till end of my life. that is my prayer.

bazigar are u here to help or to earn points

take one last chance show her Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi :(

hmm you need to give her a break when she feels it she will say forcing wont do any good

Bhai dekho, Mujhe bhi taqreeban dedh saal hi hua hai shadi ke liye, aur meri biwi bhi waisi hi hai jaisa aap batarahe ho, lekin mujhe lagta hai ke hum logo ka muashera hi aisa hai. aap koi tension mat lo, aur is qisam ke blogs se salah lene ki zaroorat nahee.

by the way are you saeed khan :/

when a woman doesnt say i love you .... in many cases it does actually mean she isnt in love ... could it be that she wants something? kids? does she want a child but not spoken about it ? could it be that some private moments arent being what she expects?

i dont mean to be desrespectful but men sometimes are a bit selfish and dont ensure their partners have fun /are satisfied/ have a bit more of thinking outside the box .....

i know many women also fake a certain thing ...which i think its selfish ...

this can cause frustration ...

i dont know how opened you are supposed to be with these things with your partner but could be she also needs a few things that arent really happeneing ???

Me and my husband will always talk openly about these things i think its healthy for any couple to do so ... no taboos ....have fun... get her a nice sexy piece of langerie and spice things up ...a romantic candle light dinner ... lots of showing that you want things to work out .... but you really need to find out what is going wrong or not working on her side

Dear Baazigar ..

If i said anything to her it will directly go to my home.. she will cry and tells everything to my mom..

yah this has happen

tell her you are in love with your neighbour :)

Yaar Irshad,

I dont have any idea of our muslims girls. Yah ur right she is very reserved type. I took her out also. She is very shyfull.

But yaar its not the way correct. How much a man will have to wait... I am not god.. I also want somthings...

Dear brother

Let me tell you frankly, the way you are expressing your love indicates that you are too much infatuated with Indian films. What else did you do to your wife apart from telling I love you? did you take her for shopping daily, did you give her enaugh confidence? do you go frequent outing, dinner outside? what do you think that just saying I love you is enaugh? women needs time to settle down in the relations. She is a reserved girl and you want her to behave like Madhuri is outrageus.

It seems you did not understand her.

I am sorry if my words sounds to you harsh but dont take the suggestions of above people, they will help you break your marriage easily rather than soothing it.

Read more: http://www.qatarliving.com/node/1745703#ixzz1J0kAD6i2

Ofcourse a good tonking may be the answer here ..

telling her next time that you hate her

Dear Cat,

Yah its arranges marraige, we are muslims. She dont have any past affairs also.

I give everything from my side I spend alot to get family visa also. But now I feel very much that I did mistakes.

try emailing and texting her, Flood her Inbox with I Love You messages .. lol

Love can be expressed in different ways...

I feel that she loves you too much and that's why she don't want you to chat with anyone else.

In films you may have also seen some wife's who is loving her husband in the way what you expects and cheating from the back. So don't compare filmi duniya and real life.

And just 1.5 years is nothing in a married life.. I hope you will get what ever you expects in future..

Enjoy your life and respect each others.

All the best wishes

I love my husband dearly and affection is a great part in our relationship ... but not the only thing ... the fact that we are honest with one another as well as sharing a wonderful friendship helps ....

I honestly think you both need an honest and opened chat :) without arguing...screaming ... or violence ...

Dear brother

Let me tell you frankly, the way you are expressing your love indicates that you are too much infatuated with Indian films. What else did you do to your wife apart from telling I love you? did you take her for shopping daily, did you give her enaugh confidence? do you go frequent outing, dinner outside? what do you think that just saying I love you is enaugh? women needs time to settle down in the relations. She is a reserved girl and you want her to behave like Madhuri is outrageus.

It seems you did not understand her.

I am sorry if my words sounds to you harsh but dont take the suggestions of above people, they will help you break your marriage easily rather than soothing it.

daily I was saying to her that I love you.. from last 2 weeks I was waiting for her to said. But nothing she told..

At last when I said, She replied me why you didnt last from these many days.

I asked her, If I cant tell, cant your say. She told me I feel uncomfortable to say. I got angry on her. And said many things.

tell her your looking for somone who will say I Love You

and you dont need her any more .. :)

No! Not all women are the same.

I don't know the circumstances of how you got married, but perhaps the answer now is 'counselling" or just moving on with your life.

Once should not be in a relationship if it makes them miserable..

you are having issues ....

did you guys have an arranged marriage? was that part of what she wanted for her life?

is she attracted to you?

do you give her love and affection? do you take her out on dates?

how much freedom do you allow her to have? is she treated well? respectfuly?

we are complicated species though when love is true and we have a good friend and companion by our side as well as a great lover ...we tend to give back to ....

Hope things get better for you ... and my only advise is to talk to her respectfuly listen to what she has to say and understand...do no judge her if what you hear isnt what you want .... she has the right to have her own emotions and feelings ... she is a person just like you ....

Good luck

Obviously not..... All the girls are not the same, but there are Exceptions too....

just i wanna know.. is all the girls are same.. I means they feel uncomfortable ??? and till now.. its 1.5 years.

Its not enough to just say it. She will know by your actions than by your words

In time once she recognises your love she will return it

You will just need to Follow the Basics...

Next class after lunch.... ;)

QL:- "solution to all your personal problems"

start coming home late and ignore her phone calls

Dear Baazigar..

Just if i chat with my online friends she will angry ... and she dont even let me chat also..

its terrible situation yaar...

Dear Brit ..

I fed up with expressing the love.. she is stil the same from 1.5 years..

Avoid her for time being and pretend your having an affair with another lady ! Problem Solved

You have to express love in order for the other person to return it.