Maids taking care of kids

... are VERY trustworthy, many times more then some of the mums of these children!!!

we are all aware of that, thankyou Lion_King......some parents can't afford not to work.....that means both of them!!

Although I think if I didn't work I'd go crazy!!

Your child is more precious than anything...... Even if you pay well and treat her decently, she is a third person out of your family circle, and how trustworhty are these maids? If anything goes wrong, parents would be squarely responsible for it... I am not scaring you... be proactive and more vigilant all the time...You can not replace a mother with a maid...

Night night, don't let the bed bugs bite!

"Opinions are like bottoms - neither should be shown in public"

yalla guys .. sweet dreams with me .. lol good nite :)

I really give up on this topic now, I said my mind and will leave it before I say something I regret.

Good night to you all :)

Its like banging your head against a brick wall on this thread. Why do people find it so difficult to understand that not all mothers are fortunate enough to stay at home to look after their children. If financially, my hubby wasn't able to support us, I would have no qualms in going back to work. Ideally, all mothers would like to be at home with their little ones, but sometimes for the littles ones to have a roof over their heads you have to go to work. Its not always out of choice...

Alumnar sis we got 5 fingers .. u just check its all same sizes ?

That's why we are the parents and they are the nannies.

But I am sure you can understand where I am coming from when I posted my last comment?

do u think maid take care our kids betterthan us ?

... but there are many couples who can't give their children a decent upbringing if they are not both working. We have to respect that each family knows their own circumstances and only they can judge it :)

well Alumnar .. my wife is professional , but i said to her first our kids .. after they grow up u can go any work .. i just said my opinion !

Suzan is a working mum, not everybody can afford being at home with their children, that's why we come to foreign countries - to earn a living!

A mum's job has to be the hardest job in the world - rewarding, yes, most times, but tough as hell!!!

If you treat the people you work with/work for/employ respectfully and fairly, they will return the favor.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

why maids ? why dunt u take care of ur kids ?

i totaly with you,110% true of what you say,,,

... these generalizations just do my head in! My daughter had NOBODY but me looking after her when she was 2 and she got scared of the dark. So whose fault was that then? I think you need to have a little trust in people. If you treat somebody right, they will pay back in treating your family well too. Pay your nanny a good salary, give her incentives and day off, yearly holiday and make her feel like part of the family. This person is living in your house, she should be like part of the family. If you make her feel accepted and cared for, then she will pay you back the same way.

am with hassans chic;p

i cant say i had any experiences cause im not married and dont kids have ofcourse , but i watched the video and not all the maids are the same but if i was in ur place i would rather take care of the kids and let the maid do the rest of the household work .... take care

for me i would prefer to put my child in a nursery cause there r many ppl working there so it is safer.. Good luck and hope she treats him just fine ... just keep an eye on any warning signs .. like if he has scares or anything or if he is scared from something or if he stops doing something.. i had a friend with a bad experience with a maid .. she used to beat the 2 yr old kid and she discovered that by putting a camera.. but she put a camera because her child suddenly stopped talking and eating.. so take care.. GOOD LUCK

Personally, I have never gone through an agency. Hiring somebody sight unseen is scary. To me, it's a crap shoot -- you never know what you're going to get. Falsified documents and work histories, someone you don't know from Adam... You're better off going by referrals of people already working here in Doha. I am lucky to have found all the people who have worked for me that way, and (touch wood) I've never been burnt.

Unless I had reason to believe my nanny was mistreating my child, I don't think I would install a hidden camera. I would definitely (and I have) enrolled all my nannies in a first aid course. To me, that's a no-brainer; they need to be able to do basic first aid and CPR if called upon to do so. I have friends who have enrolled their nannies in driving schools (so they can chauffeur the kids around), swimming lessons, and English classes (to improve communication). To me, all of these things are investments in your child. Most of the people we can hire as nannies don't have a lot of verifiable skills, so it's important to make sure you are equipping that person with the ability to handle things while you're not home.

To this end, I would love to see the government or private agencies help improve things. Start offering intro and refresher courses (in both Arabic and English, and perhaps the native languages of the women) in first aid, hygiene and health, food and nutrition, etc. I think there is a need in the community for this, and after awhile it would just become standard.

I would also love to start seeing some "mannies"! Inshallah, my next nanny will be a man. They're better equipped in general, I think, to do more sports/physical things with older children.

"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx

Alumnar, agree with you, no two situations are the same. I have been in both situations working and leaving children with childminder and now at the moment am able to take my daughter to school and pick her up and be with her for the rest of the day. You do what you need to do at the time, no right or wrong. I know what i prefer, but it isn't always about what you prefer, its sometimes about what is needed at that time.

... some people think they know it all, been there, done it, know the answer to everything. Every case is different, every mother knows the best way to deal with their own situation and there are no 2 situations the same anywhere.

?

:|

ermmm, yes, whatever you say......

I know that is not the subject but,

It is true that a woman is winning less than a men?

If this is a real concern to you, can't your husband stay home and look after the child? This is happening more and more in many countries. Where one of the parents has to work in order to earn a living for the family, sometimes you have to look at the big picture.

Signature line > "You can't fix stupid"

Maybe someone has mentioned it already but didn't bother to read all the comments..

I am amazed by the parents in this part of the world. it's not impossible to raise a child without a maid you know. My mother is a working woman and she raised three kids and all of them are doing absolutely fine. Leaving your child in the care of a hired help?????? I know I won't be doing

that to my child...

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

reemahf, I hope your realize that bringing a relative from your own country to be a nanny for your children is illegal. It is also illegal to bring someone over on a business visa for full-time, permanent work here in Qatar and there is no such thing as a legal "free" visa. While I appreciate your concern and hiring a relative seems a good solution it's just not a good idea to contravene the law here in Qatar. Your relative (and you) could end up in a very precarious situation.

Mandi

I'm pregnant with my first child after trying for children for 7 years. One of my biggest worries if the day I will have to leave him with someone and go back to work. Even though that's a few months away, I think about it every day knowing how hard it must be for Moms to leave them for such a length of time.

My dear Mom used to say you don't know what worry is until you become a Mother.

All the best,

Tracey

AngelinaBallerina I just answer you when you say

"Get real women, if you lived anywhere else in the world, maybe you would have to get off your bums and do some work!!"

What I mean about:

We are real woman this is why as a mother we choose to be beside our kids and taking care of our husbands.

Is that we are not less woman because we don`t help in collecting money... I am just defending the mums who decide to stay at home.

I don`t mean that others mothers who decide to work are worse, but each one take their choice!

Isn`t it like that AngelinaBallerina?

May be you dont have a choice. But you are taking a chance.

______________________________________________

- Listen to Many...Speak to a Few -

suzan,i salute you for being a good mother and a provider to your son,you already have a good nanny as you say so,nobody in this forum who can feel the most if your nanny is trustworthy or not but yourself.who wants to be under surveilance 24hrs a day 7days a week? you'll make her uneasy working in your house,you yourself dont like to be watch by your boss every minutes of your working days,dont you? just treat her nice and fair and you'll get the same.accidents happens sometimes we can't avoid that,even your son is in your care,so i agree to labda06 if u can get her to a first aid classes will be a good idea,

suzan, i suggest that you bring one of your relatives from yuor country here to take care of your kids. one of my friends already did that. you can either buy him a business visa or a freelance visa.

"Always smile in the morning, it makes people wonder what you did last night"

A house helper "maid" shouldn't take care of your child, a supervised babysitter may, I think a helper isn't qualified for this reasonability, unless she was a God's gift and was caring and motherly in nature, yet you would still need to be around your kid 80% to 20% of the time your kid is around her.

Salam

especially women who have nothing better to do......get a bloody job! trust me, it'll stop the mindless rants about working mothers......and mindnumbing mums and toddlers groups....

of whether to be a stay at home wife and mother or be a working mother. They are both choices that are legitimate in my view. For Ines to say "we are real women" is uncalled for.

I HAD to work as a single parent, but am so grateful that my own daughter has the chance to make her own choice and is able to stay home with her kids. She has sacrificed a lot, as did I. Why should either of us feel inferior for that choice?

Women are our own worst enemies.

If you choose (or have) to work, make sure you are treating the person who cares for your child well and choose that person with care.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Ines_pt said many honourable things to do during the day.

My wife a practicing teacher proposed to teach engish during the day to Qatari Mums so that they could understand what the Kids learned in English school. The response was "we are so busy in going to beauty salons to prepare for weddings we could not fit this in"!How true, blame the maids later.

Qatari friend told me that the present generation of Qatari adolescents and young adults are the "maids children" with imported wrong social attitudes and bad habits to the pure Qatari society. Maybe right or wrong who will decide?

AngelinaBallerina ... no pun intended to you ... You are sounds very similar with Dora The Explorer , is she your twin ??? :o) x

and how you treated her with regard to food, calling her family and having time off. You might want to consider how these issues CAN be related.

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

Ines_pt whatever floats your boat.....because you are a real woman aren't you? unlike working mothers who are men.....

Well AngelinaBallerina We are in Qatar, and here we are foreigners... is not the same as the country we born!

1. So I will not trust my kid that can`t speck to a stranger even if this stranger is looking nice.

2. Not all woman that is not working is sitting. People can have many activities during the day and some of them very honorable.

3. You have to understand that each person is different, with different targets and different views of being a good parents. (Ones would prefer to collect money for the kids and others (that is my case) prefer to invest time with mine)

4. We are real woman this is why as a mother we choose to be beside our kids and taking care of our husbands.

5. Take care of what you write because you don't know us to judge in that way.

Have a nice night AngelinaBallerina! (honestly)

oh listen to all you holier than thou women....obviously you have a husband who is raking in all the dough while you sit being high and bloody mighty all day!

Does your hard working hard earning hubby spend as much time with his children as he should do?I doubt it, so stop the good parent preaching ffs.

Some people just don't have a choice but to work, some people study hard and actually like having a career and managr family life at the same time!

Get real women, if you lived anywhere else in the world, maybe you would have to get off your bums and do some work!!

I agree with novita, swat is the money compered with saying taking care of our baby.

I choose to stay taking care of my son instead of going out to work... a maid is not the same as a mother and babes feel that...

But if you fine like this... this is your choice!

Good luck for you and blessings for your baby!

Give the respect for your maid, Good treatment with her but in limit.

And in market now hide camera you can buy it and fix it in the place your baby and her usually available for time to time to check.

Also some of maids they will appear from thy attitude in dealing with you ( good or bad) .

From time to time Return to the home suddenly and quietly to check for what the maid do.

MyHotComments

You don't have to worry a thing about your maid if you treat her like your family.

That's a great thought Novita. Good example of a Supermom! I feel the same way. Why wait for something to happen to your children when you can prevent it by raising your own kids? And a nice memory of their mother is what keeps the majority of children from being upset and doing horrible things in the future.

The simple fact is that you can NEVER fully trust a person with your child..

snessy ...

Even I am a full time mum, my son still managed to get 3 stitches when he was in the nursery, hospitalized at Hamad for mild concussion when he had an accident at the school playground.

The joy of being a mum and the constant worrying ...

I grow up with full time maid and driver in my childhood, maid and driver pick me up from school, take me to after school activities, birthday parties, playdates, prepare my meal. My parents was a very busy business people. They did not have a time for me. I always told myself that I dont want my kid to experience the same thing. So I do what I do now. It would be nice when they grow up they have a nice memory of their mother.

Great comment. I feel the same about taking responsibility of your own kids.

I'm sorry to say, but I do understand if yourself and your husband work. But I just don't understand if your a stay at home mom why the heck do you have a nanny? Please clarify. Especially filipino, indian. They always complain about having a low salary and this and that but pay out of pocket for a nanny. Grow a pair and put your own kids to bed. F.Y.I. 75% to 85% of Qataris understand Hindi, Tagalog, and other languages because of Nanny's doing the Moms dirty work so watch what you say in front of them.

Novita77 - I agree with you there. My son doesn't know any different either. I'm sure he takes me for granted too. I want to see his face light up for me, the same way he does when his daddy comes home from work. I'm sure they'll thank us for being their mum one day....

I'm pretty lucky that i've got a nanny who happens to be a relative...i'm assured that my children is in safe hand whenever i go to work...try taking somebody you know or trust...for you to have a peace of mind...

"The hardest thing to do is to do nothing at all."

lol Labda, no thank you :o)

Novi, I bet he does, hahah! Have another one so he'll have to share you. Then he'll know ;)))

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

ok my apologies.

@Labda : You can tell him that he is lucky next time. He never been in another situation, so he take his mommy for granted lol.

yes, me too... :)

suzan, it is an english phrase. Means have the best of both world. Please dont get the wrong end of the stick with me lol.

I wish there was something called - working-at-home jobs in Qatar. I would be the first one in line!!!!

novita77,

Please be more clear about the cake, dear. Could you be more specific? or are you being sarcastic about something?

Personally I would love to be a stay-home mum who also works from home, but dont know how feasible that would be. It's not about the money, lol, some of us are driven by other things that Id rather not go into.

Novita, your son's lucky ;)

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

suzan, all the best for you. Hopefully you can have your cake and eat it. :)

This is a huge dilemma everyone wonders about.

I was talking to my husband that now that my son is more aware of things around him, it makes me want to stay home with him and let the savings find its way.

He was like

- u r working for his studies, future, needs

- if u stay home u will then say i wish i worked and he would have blah blah

- if u work u say u wish u could have stayed with our son at home.

its a dilemma everyone has an issue with, u know? and its hard to chose when u prefer to. I prefer staying with my son, no debate here, but the real world needs us to work and support our families, sadly.

I like your attitude Suzan - no matter what job someone is doing, they are still doing an honest day's work. Treat others the way you expect to be treated. I'm sure if you're treating your maid well and showing her respect, she will do exactly the same to you and your child. Like you say, she's doing you the favour by taking good care of your son.

I'm lucky enough to be at home with my son, whilst my hubby works but I panic at the very thought of someone else looking after him. Its going to be very difficult for me to let go when he has to go to nursery in January.

magicdragon, we probably dont have much saving as suzan and her husband. But I do know what happened to my son every details of it from day 1. That can not beat any amount of saving in the world :)

U already observed how is she wid ur kid,,,, so relax,

As long as u n d nanny don't have a problem,,,,

We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

You know, something about her surprised me. The other day my son was attempting to crawl, and he started screaming. It turned out that his thumb and other finger kindda of hit something or his weight was on them, and they looked huge!! I started crying thinking maybe there was a deviation in bones and they broke or something. She told me to calm down and started massaging them, and I told her I am taking him to the ER! she asked me to wait and check him, them after 20min nothing was wrong. She told me she knows more because she has had 2 kids! It was nice from her.

But yeah, first aid learning wouldnt be bad at all too!!

Be nice with your maid ,treat her as a family member,then she will take care of your children as own

novita, finally someone who thinks like me. The child is more important than money!

smart smart smart!

Thanks so much! will be taking into consideration all your tips! my husband will love hearing them today after work!!

i also agree with labda to have your nanny learn first aid, it will be very helpful..

suzan, personally I would say 11 months old is way too young to be left on the care of a maid.

Yes you work for your saving and your son's future. 11 months old cant complained to the parents if she/he being abused. The maid not going to tell you if accident happened to the baby. You might one day find out (god forbid) he / she suffer something serious. By then you cant turn the clock back. You might have all the money in the world, but your child welfare cant be value with any amount of money.

My son since the day he is born, till now never being left to the care of a maid. I chose not to go down that path.

You decided to leave your baby to the care of a maid. You shouldnt ask about on this board. Yes horror stories does happened ...

I actually treat her very well. Compared to my friends who got one, she is a princess, honestly.

Everyone tells me that its too much, but I dont care ,she is taking care of my son!!!!!!!!!!!! She should be rewarded for that more than anyone else.

Dear suzan,

try this it worked for me.

put a surveillance camera(s) in your house and tell your helper frankly that you'll be monitoring her by recording her activities with your baby, NOT because you don't trust her BUT because you wanna know if something wrong happened and she didn't react in a right way so you can Teach her how to take better care of your baby.

you can actually record on a DVD recorder or NOT, most of them aren't that electronically educated to know the difference.

or else try to buy the internet camera through Qtel, it's a good one if you have access to internet in your work.

I feel with you, our babies are the most important thing in our lives and we can't imagine someone would harm them.

on the other hand, choose your helper wisely, go to a well known office and try to contact her before she arrives to qatar and tell her what you expect from her so she won't be surprised when she's in your house.

Spot checks visits to the house during the day (irregular timing) would help as well.

Best luck

Yalla!

Of course. We always seek the best for them. So funny as we give up everything for them.!

U r right, should take it more easy!

Im not a mother but just some piece of advice, if you can, have your nanny go for first aid classes.

MagicDragon, even if she had a husband, it's a full time job to be a mother and would expect him to pull his weight too (she didnt make the baby all by herself) and if she's working she needs all the help she can get.

--------Do I look like Bambi's sister???-------

don't let it get to you suzan... the more you let it play in your head, pretty soon it'll develop into paranoia.. if you completely trust your nanny, that is good.. but it doesn't hurt to be extra observant right, which i am sure you are.. after all, we all want only what's best for the kids right? :)

Thanks so much! I feel relieved when I read a good and nice supporting reply.

It's hard, but we can survive. Days are hard, others are easier. Oh well.. life is like that, isn't it?

hahaha! u really make me laugh. Only woman with no husband work? wake up son. The world is in crisis and both need to work to live a modest life. Thank God my husband is with me, and he is thankful that i cooperate with savings.

Our maid is a mother of 2. And I wont lie, even when I am home she takes care of my son in a very good way. She goes to him when I sit him to eat if he starts making noises and I am still preparing something, or would watch him from far if I am doing something while he is either on his baby walker or chair.

This reflects her good care, I wont lie.

Its just that sometimes the devil plays with my head, u know? I get scared I dont know.

And the idea of a hidden camera scares the hell out of me, though its an option I might take care into consideration.

You obviously haven't heard the saying...

"Opinions are like bottoms, we all have one...but we don't show them in public"

Suzan - it sounds like you're doing great being a working mum! You don't need to justify your actions to a bunch of strangers.

suzan, cool down. I didn't know you had no husband.

yes tess, it's the first thing that i do whenever i come through the door, look for my daughter and give her a big hug and a kiss... and you're right, some parents don't have a choice but to leave the kids in the care of nannies while they go out and work.. they just have to be extra careful when they hire nannies, of course the children deserves the best care so they should make sure that the one they will hire is worthy enough to be trusted.. goodluck suzan.. :)

yeah, that's why u are a man, right? We wish we were man. Come and stay in our shoes for a day and feel what we feel.

working mothers are sacrifices and always feel sleepy, and tired. Have nothing to do but work and kids. Thank GOD you are a man.

I wish my mom or mother in law were here, or maybe someone other from my family. Sadly I dont. I dont have anyone here.

I do everything for my son, breakfast, lunch, and even wash him before I leave home. She feed him the breakfast and lunch, and changed him probably 2 times while I am away. He sleeps out of 6 hours at home 2-3 hours, so literally she stays with him awake around 3-4 hours which are great.

He always sounds happy when I call to check on him. My husband also bombards her with calls asking her about our son. Our son makes noises and sings when I talk toher on the phone and even when I get home he is singing. I know them he is ok and happy.

I am the one who baths him and take care of HIM when I reach home. The maid doesnt touch or seem him again until the next morning!!!

snessy, harsh or not. It is my opinion.

Do not judge ok? I have to work for my son's future and our savings.

its better to place a hidden camera...somewhere in the house... to examines the maid's movement...

i wouldn't trust a total stranger to take care of my child.. luckily, my mom is here so she looks after my daughter when i am at work.. after work, im hands-on when it comes to my child..

MagicDragon - your comment is very harsh! Unless you know Suzan personally and know of her circumstances, who gives you the right to judge?

You are supposed to take of your kids. You are the mother, aren't you?

give your maid the respect that she deserves and you'll have no problem but treat your maid like an animal and you'll regret it later..