When starting over does not feel worth it

om Maui
By om Maui

You’ve gone through a lot after a breakup. You worked hard in getting over your failed relationship. After struggling for many months, you learned to take care of yourself and had finally found peace and happiness being by yourself. It is over for you at last. Now it’s time to start over.

But sometimes, taking a chance in starting over just doesn’t feel worth it anymore. You’re just far too comfortable now to even begin to think about starting over.

Is it right to feel this way?

Will you be missing something in life by tackling life this way?

Will you regret it later in life, and wished you had taken another chance at relationships?

QL friends, what's your take on this?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 13:11
anonymous

Rules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

By heero_yuy2• 12 Nov 2009 05:15
heero_yuy2

...start things over again by turning yourselves to be the best of friends and make each other forget the past. Lessen or remove the former feelings. You can reminisce each other's likes and must contain yourselves of your former dislikes in your relationship. New feelings will grow anew from time to time you got yourselves to being best pals.

"You can't teach experience"

By Vegas (as I do not plagiarize)

By FranElizabeth• 11 Nov 2009 21:26
FranElizabeth

I suggest that if you find the right person to be with, you have no doubts.. if a relationship feels like hard work in the first couple of months, it's just a bloated infatuation on one person's side and an amount of tolerance on the other person's... (in exchange for an ego boost).

Trust your instincts.. I ignored mine recently and they were proved right..(in both situations)..

By heero_yuy2• 11 Nov 2009 21:18
heero_yuy2

...to refresh the mind so that it'll be easier to start things over again without regrets. You or them needs to forget it for a month or so without the needs to see each other for awhile. Based on my previous experiences, starting things over abruptly will still cause a bit of a shock, specially when tomorrow or another day you see the causes of the failed relationship again.

And I think we finally got over with the woman I 'pointedly' mentioned last year in my QL posting history. :-)

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By somwerNdmiddle• 11 Nov 2009 21:05
somwerNdmiddle

not just culture heero, but BREEDING also.

(dogs at least have breeding, but other people don't)

By heero_yuy2• 11 Nov 2009 20:49
heero_yuy2

...and it applies to all races.

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 20:38
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

I have come not to trust any Arab man in the beginning because I have been lied to so many times by them. They have to earn my trust and that is a long, hard process. I've never had that experience with a Filipino.

 

 

 

I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 20:27
anonymous

Rules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 16:32
anonymous

ghazal nothing to say today?

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 16:16
anonymous

************************************

I'm Jack's complete lack of surprise

By sweetpink• 11 Nov 2009 16:10
sweetpink

It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you've formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.

By MrEmochie• 11 Nov 2009 15:58
MrEmochie

ok fine. now- you already get what you want...everybody's attention... especially the Filipino Community... are you now happy? poor little dude...

anyway - keep this is in your mind... have it stock as much as possible.... lock it inside the vault..huh...

"no matter what you do- even you'll do splitting, dancing or whatever you want- for sure- YOU'RE STILL A LOSER! Pity you!

By 220v• 11 Nov 2009 15:53
220v

my apology.. come backkkkk.....

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 15:51
om Maui

220v... WWWWWWWWWWHAT?! ur off the topic too.

am done here.

By 220v• 11 Nov 2009 15:47
220v

jackfrost.. did u get betrayed by a married filipino batty boy recently?

om Maui... strip club ;) have fun..

By jonald• 11 Nov 2009 15:30
jonald

Jackass its none of your business, or are you jealous we can have this many.

Dagway ai!

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 15:26
om Maui

go start your own thread, JF! darn, we're having a peaceful discussion here, and you're totally off the topic.

By phoenix2009• 11 Nov 2009 15:11
phoenix2009

JF,

No answer?

Yalla!

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 15:08
anonymous

How many Philipino men have wifes back home and girlfriends here??? Or how many Philipino men have said thay are single, or divorced to get a girlfriend in Qatar when they have a wife and kids back home in the philipines

Rules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

By phoenix2009• 11 Nov 2009 14:55
phoenix2009

JF, keep it honest then

Do you have a personal problem with philippinos/nas???

seriously

Yalla!

By jonald• 11 Nov 2009 14:54
jonald

he is a certified Racist Fool!!!

Dagway ai!

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 14:53
anonymous

How many Philipino men have wifes back home and girlfriends here??? Or how many Philipino men have said thay are single, or divorced to get a girlfriend in Qatar when they have a wife and kids back home in the philipines.. Well come on.. get the truth out and stop complaining about me being honest. who would like to post this,,,,,,,,,,, Thought so

Rules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 14:15
om Maui

i truly have no idea what the heqk he is saying. it's like out of nowhere, he pops in and rants and he is totally irrelevant! (what a loser.)

By phoenix2009• 11 Nov 2009 13:57
phoenix2009

JF, we need to add one more letter to have you R.I.P.

"K"

Yalla!

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 13:55
om Maui

what is he talking about, does anyone know?

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 13:54
om Maui

JACKFROST, huh?

By somwerNdmiddle• 11 Nov 2009 13:48
somwerNdmiddle

sick in the head?

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 13:42
Rating: 3/5
anonymous

Why dont you pino and you Gay Love threads stay in the Pino section. my god you pinos are always talking about your married boyfriend going back to his wife in the Philipines. my god you7 know he was married, OPEN your eyes not your legs girls. get back in your own room

Rules are a guideline for intelligent people, but they must be adhered to by idiots.

By jonald• 11 Nov 2009 13:33
jonald

I think you are still waiting for him. You still hoping that things will get fixed the way they were. And you wished that "if I could just turn back the time". Well, you are not alone girl, me too.... me too...

Dagway ai!

By mallrat• 11 Nov 2009 13:26
mallrat

.guess ur not yet ready for another real relationship...

.

.or you still did not find 'him /her

,

or have you heard of the word ;single blessedness;? that could be ur path..........

.

.

Talk to my crown......

.

By Olive• 11 Nov 2009 13:25
Olive

Oh no, I started dating again about a 8 months after the break-up, but that was too soon and I ended up screwing up several relationships. I just should have stayed single until I was ready.

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 13:20
om Maui

wow, that's freaking long! did you at any stage in those 3 years wondered if you were ever ever gonna get involved again? was there a time that you had envisaged yourself as single forever?

By Olive• 11 Nov 2009 13:15
Rating: 2/5
Olive

From my experience it takes half as long as you were in the relationship to fully get over the relationship. Not just the person, but all the baggage of being dumped, cheated on, etc. I was engaged for 6 years and then dumped and I can definitely say in took 3 years before I could be confident in a relationship again.

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 13:12
om Maui

hi olive, i wasn't speaking from experience, LOL. i was having a discussion the other day among single people on their late 30s, and they have expressed the same sentiments.

some self-help books say that it should take one year before you enter another relationship, to make sure that there are no "residual emotions" from the past relationship.

what do you think about this?

By Olive• 11 Nov 2009 12:29
Olive

I don't think it will be that long to get LOL. How long have you been single now? And how long was the relationship?

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 12:24
om Maui

and what happens if by the time you're ready, it is already too late for you? and you are too old to think about having a family?

By mjamille28• 11 Nov 2009 12:16
Rating: 4/5
mjamille28

i agree with Olive,.. maybe you're just not ready to start anew. so take your time and everything else will follow.. i think you'll feel it in yourself and you'll know when you're ready.. :)

By anonymous• 11 Nov 2009 12:09
anonymous

If you want I can make a risk assessment.

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 12:09
om Maui

hey phoenix2009, that's a very good point!

By Olive• 11 Nov 2009 12:07
Rating: 3/5
Olive

It doesn't mean that you haven't gotten over the person, it just means that you, personally, aren't ready to get into a new relationship. Personally I say enjoy this time and use it to make yourself stronger and happier with you. :)

By britexpat• 11 Nov 2009 12:05
britexpat

Just do what you feel comfortable with. Follow your heart and do not regret any decisions made :O)

By phoenix2009• 11 Nov 2009 12:02
Rating: 2/5
phoenix2009

doesn't feel worth it or just comfortable being alone?

may be you missed that part of life when you have nobody to complicate things and make your life harder, this could go for sometime until you feel you need again someone to share things you love with.IMHO.

Yalla!

By om Maui• 11 Nov 2009 12:01
om Maui

so the feeling of unwillingness to start over means the person has not gotten over yet?

By thalib01• 11 Nov 2009 11:52
thalib01

buddy... you are still not ready to start over yet.. no point pushing yourself into another relationship.. :-)

By Olive• 11 Nov 2009 11:50
Rating: 4/5
Olive

If you feel like starting over is to much effort it means you aren't ready to start over. Don't underestimate the effort that goes into getting over a big breakup and don't push yourself into a new relationship until you know you want to and you think it will be worth it.

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.