Why women in their 20s rush into marriage....
Came across this article The Washington Post....
"For women who get hitched in their 20s, divorcing in the first couple of years has become a common pattern now, and most of them go through this horrifying phase even before hitting 30.
While the factors behind every relationship’s downfall are different, the underlying impetus behind marriage is similar for some of the women.
For women, who maintain a comfortable long-term relationship in their 20s, the next logical step is to get hitched, mainly because they find it convenient. Madison, a 29 year-old accountant from New Jersey admitted to marrying even though she didn’t feel ‘crazy love’, because was ‘content and secure instead’, Huffington Post quoted her as telling.
Many times it is a previous relationship, which leaves a woman heartbroken and propels them to marry ‘Mr Wrong'. They say you never really get over your first love.
“I didn''t think I would ever fall in love again so I figured it didn’t matter who I married,” said Tara, a 26 year-old freelance writer from North Carolina.
There are many women who take the decision of getting married simply because they hope that marriage would change things. For instance, Casey, a 35 year-old travel correspondent thought that once she settled into newlywed bliss, her ex-husband would be happier with his own life, will be able to hold a steady job and show her more affection. However, in due course Casey, who married at 24, found her ex husband “immature and insecure”.
Then there are instances when women hasten to tie the nuptial knot apparently because of low self-esteem. “I was a very insecure individual at that time. I was losing weight from gastric bypass surgery and wasn’t happy with my appearance. He told me I couldn’t do any better and I believed him,” said Kim, a 30 year-old social worker.
There is not one main reason, which can be blamed for getting married. There are women who had a clue that their marriages were not meant to be but still went ahead with it anyway."
These interviews were conducted for the book ‘Trash the Dress: Stories of Celebrating Divorce in your 20s’.
Some of my Middle Eastern female colleagues have asked me quite regularly, "Why are you not married yet?"
It seems to be the norm here to be in your early 20's & be married, whereas back in the UK if you mention you are getting married at this age, they usually assume pregnancy or that you are rushing into things.
The divorce rate over here seems relatively low too, whereas in UK it is increasing by the year. Also, people here marry within months of meeting each other and westerns tend to wait years to find the 'one' before 'tying the knot'..yet the divorce rate is sky high.
why is this??
That's really a good post and in islam clearly stated that if your have good health then you have to married as soon as possible.
For this purpose different Matchmaking services providing company is doing a good job for different people match.
some of arabic girls take marriage as their life aim which is not
story of 2 ppls. if they are lover, they must understand and adjust, if not..
I think what ever we comments on this, it doesn't change anything. if you learn from good driving school that will make you to be good driver?? no!
so many factor we put on this problem even so it can b only hope :)
to make it short, simply because the best years of ur life are 20-35 max and it would be perfect if you share those years with someone you really love. we live once so those years are not coming back ... i guss this should convince u and push u to start looking forward to a soon marriage. but again if ur gonna share it with someone u dont really love, its gonna be a nightmare thats why am stll single :P
Fa,
You are very courageous person to say things as they are.
Very rare these days.
Regards.
it's the ticking of the female body clock :p , I guess some women consider this why they rush into marriage. ;)
People get into marriages for different reasons (which may not always be love), but people get divorced only for one reason, basic incompatibility.
Having witnessed the divorces of many of my friends and family members I must say the reasons people go in for a divorce can be as contrasting and diverse as the reasons people would get married.
My own parents threw in the towel after being married(unhappily) for 28 years. On the other hand I've seen my cousin and another close friend calling it quits much faster for reasons I can truly say were simply "incompatibility" and may have easily been workable but lacked the enthusiasm and desire from all parties(they confess this themselves,mind you)
Then I've had friends who endured truly nightmarish marriages to horrible abusive people before plucking up their courage and self esteem and going in for divorce.
In all these incomparable situations I can say one thing. The process of divorce, meaning the legalities, is actually far more easier these days.And this can act as a blessing as well as a trial, since for all those people for whom divorces were truly essential you'd get those who'd just randomly marry and divorce at whim. And I mean both men and women.
In a general sense I'd say people approach marriage with too many high expectations and many times get disheartened at the on set of the first trials itself.Many people lack the patience and tolerance required in a marriage.
some of them are definitely not ready for marriage and just think they are... sooner/later, they can't handle the seriousness of a marriage life and divorce...
some of them are very mature for their age and think seriously about life and marriage... for those people of same mentality and values in marriage life, marriage is the right choice.
to note that both have already maximize living single life and reach to the setling point, I supposed.
figure both for Ladies and Gents? So maturity in embracing Family life helps minimize divorce, right? How come 35 years above also get a high rate of divorce as quoted from Volley..
Most people get married around 27-30 these days I'd say, which most people deem most healthy and beneficial to the marriage - the figures may suggest otherwise however....
can you kindly expound a little more... maybe the age range of young. Coz' 35 is already old to marry, I think. So what is the ideal age of marriage in UK to minimize divorce?
Highest divorce rates in the UK are for people who marry young or after 35.
MissT. Yes. I came from a very interesting place in our Country. Mix marriage in our place of Culture is common... and that's the reason we live harmoniously despite of the diversity of Religions and Races. Unfortunately, as I have mentioned... as time goes on... Culture changes to go on as well. What a pity... it was once a wonderful world to live.
Very interesting @highlander88
& MM be quiet...I am in a great relationship & yes I go clubbing wow! Ur going to blame me now for the men in the clubs being sleazy.
If you haven't anything constructive to say, only trying to offend people go somewhere else!!!
damn im too old to marry a girl in her 20s .. to be my 4th wife :(
diverse????
as far I know, the main cause of diverse is a marriage
Thank you for the interest. My "Perfect" example of a marriage binded by Love and by our Culture are my Parents. They have an early marriage... embracing different Religions (up to this time)... and have multiplied having 8 Children... and still going stronger with their affection for each other for 54 years in counting. Though I see as time goes on... Culture differs to the incoming generation. And this is for the reason that the "Older Generation" have not preserved what is worth preserving for the "Younger Ones" to inherit. Also to consider the mix-marriage of Cultures, which in way have influenced changes of Culture for the next generation.
You said..''Some of my Middle Eastern female colleagues have asked me quite regularly, "Why are you not married yet?"
Everybody know you go clubbing & sleazy men & all that, nobody asked that question there is unbelieaveable for many...
See link:
http://www.arabianbusiness.com/qatar-has-one-of-world-s-highest-divorce-rates-42427.html
Whether UK, USA or Qatar - the reasons for increasing divorce rates are similar. Reality against expectations. In addition, women are becoming more independent (financially) and do not need men to support them.
@MM you have not understood the point I was making and the topic I was trying to discuss by posting this article.
@highlander88 please go on...I would like to hear your opinion on this concerning your culture.
My mom was 19 and my dad was 25. Their marriage lasted over 25 years.
Needless to say, they wound up divorced.
still I would have believed if it was reported in a civilised manner by separating ethnic background from professional ability.....
I doubt that britexpat
MissT... I am no "expert" in this, but let me just share you my thoughts and experiences in our side of the World. (Opppsss it will be a long story to tell...)
Anyway to let my opinion going... Basically there are factors to consider why is this happening in this part of the World... and one worth mentioning is the "Culture". That's why getting to know more of one's Culture different from us is quite interesting.
As a Teacher... I believe you have that inquisitive mind to satisfy on learning other Cultures, as well.
Best wishes MissT!
why, isn't anybody named Kim working as an account in that area which was cover for ?
@britexpat...really?? Do you have figures?
@MM why do you doubt this?
Actually, the divorce rate here is higher than that in the UK . Also. arranged marriages are the norm here, so the "getting to know you" period is very short.
Madison, a 29 year-old accountant, Casey a 35 year-old travel correspondent ,Tara, a 26 year-old freelance writer , Kim, a 30 year-old social worker. ha ha.
I am wondering at the selection, with doubt.
Relationships r all abt expectations compromise and love
alien every time on lunch break when do u work :/
Lunch Time over Back to work now..... :)