Working mothers of small children

I always believe that moms/wives should not be confined at home when they want to work not only for money but for self-worth. I, for example told my husband before marriage that I will work as long as I can. But after I give birth to my eldest I stayed at home not because my husband insist but we saw the NEED for me to be at home for my growing son and upcoming baby. Finances might just be enough for our monthly needs but I think that no amount of money can compensate the time away from you family. I just hope that Qatar will have part-time jobs as alternative income generation for housewives like in the US and EU countries.

I don't know how to teach my child properly too

I want her to be independant and actually the children will be very bored staying at home here in this country

and finally everything has its advantages and disadvantages

just make your choice...

what do you mean by Small children ? up to 3 years or 2

they will need their mom all the time even at school and maybe up to 13 years old

some moms are working not only for basic food and clothes but for chidren's future, savings, to give them better education and to go back home sooner for expats

and sometimes moms working for their career

and there is another point..... maybe some moms are not have to work now but what about the future...maybe they will have to work one day because of any reason and we all now how it is difficult to find a job then which employer will pick up a staying at home mom CV to offer her a job?.....it is not easy for some careers

The decision on whether the mother should work or not, lies not only the mother's hand but on his husband also.

Before, we got married I clearly stated to my husband that I want to be a stay at home mom and he agreed...but situations changed and now, I am looking for work.

Personally, if your husband can shoulder all the financial necessities, the wife should stay at home and guide the kids especially on their formative years. It's hard to trust your child's value upbringing to someone whom you've just known for a short time.

If your husband, can't provide for all your needs, then it's time to be more of a partner and a good wife.Just share the responsibilities. After all, it will boil down to the fact that it would be better to sacrifice a little of your quality time with the children and work than be financially strapped and be seperated from their father.

That, I think would be the worst thing for the kids, have their father and/or mother work abroad and leave them at their home countries.

thats problem with the husband :).

talk to him and try to get a solution

Mine is a second marriage and husband dont give a single dime in my hand.I started working in Qatar Airways and whole scene in home changed. Whole scene changed a lot.We started going out for dinner oftenly,kids started getting small and big things from me,I started eating food I liked most sometimes,and I opened my own bank account oo.Now because husband dont permit me to work he feels that I m getting financial independent.Now I go for some social work by foot alongwith my little daughter,watch tv all the time,my son feels insecure all the time becasue already if he ask for something I dont have money.Even if we go out for a morning or evening walk I dont have a singal dime in my hand to get them juice or something.

So decide yourself what are the requirements and what kind of scene u have at home..Every life and every person have different desires so cant say one rule for all is mandatory.

the fixation with making money has led things to go haywire.

I work and I don't need to. I reached the end of my tether, every day was the same being trapped in the house for 14 hours on end on my own. I feel I give far better quality time to my son now I have gone back to work - The highlight of my day is going home and seeing my son

I 100% agreed with britexpat.

There is no hard and fast rule.

It all depends on the couple. My wife stayed at home with the kids till they were of school going age and then worked part time. She didn't need to, but wanted to get out of the house and do her own thing.

I have a colleague whose wife is a qualified Doctor, but has never worked - because they both feel that the kids need their mother.

dd

Why does it always have to be the mother? Why can't the father stay at home?

I am a working mum of a two year old.

Honestly the nursery she goes to is totally awesome.

They are trained professional educators.

Could I stimulate my child and educate her in a fun way giving her the bst possible start?

No. Because I am an IT geek with no understanding on how to teach my child properly.

I stayed home until she was 9 months old. She got very very bored then.

I also think the other gift I can give her is expectation that she can work as a woman and be a mother should she decide to. I do not want her growing up with limited expectations.

Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,

Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,

Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,

But only one mother the wide world over.

~George Cooper

If the father in the family can meet the basic needs by his earnings then the great mothers of all times should provide their love to the kids full time.

One can argue why not the father stay at home and the mother go to work.To support my view let me add another quote...

1. The formative period for building character for eternity is in the nursery. The mother is queen of that realm and sways a scepter more potent than that of kings or priests. ~Author Unknown

nomerci--I am sure you are probably right. It's just that most families we know are Western by birth or education/choice.

Parents' love and care for kids is unconditional,

Yes, it’s ideal situation if mothers of small kids stay home and enjoy every single moment with them...but sometimes economical pressure left no option for them except leaving them to a nursery or a private baby sitter.

Good for U Uranus, but I disagree with the last part of what you said about everyone knows what is best for own family.

The best place for a mother is at home with her small child. No one can provide this kind of care. Maids and day care workers are paid employees and do not care as much as mothers.

The man must try his best to provide so the family can live on his salary, I know this is sometimes not possible, but many times mothers work for extra silly money, not money for basic food and clothes but money for nicer car, nicer holiday trips or nicer furniture. Small child would prefer mother to any of this.

If the wife does not see sense of this then the husband must do everything (no violence ever) to persuade her of this wisdom otherwise he fails as a father.

its nice if mothers of small children can engage themselves in a part time job or just work from home till the child gets potty trained and is fit to go to a play school...

i would love to stay home and look after my kid if my wife could bring as much money home as i do..

Uranus, although I do agree that there are some Western expat mothers who do not take care of their children properly and hand them over to unqualified maids or nurseries. BUT, I do believe that this happens a lot more with other nationalities.

My own family's experience is that it has worked out best that my wife has stayed at home with our small children. She is a well-educate professional, but we decided even before we were married that we would do everything possible so that she could stay home with our children. Fortunately money is not a significant issue for us, and we are able to live comfortably on my salary. More would always be nice, and we've made minor sacrifices along the way.

I fully agree with nomerci. Even with our first child my wife worked constantly taking care of our son, managing the house, and making sure he participated in activities with other children. Even now with two more she works nonstop from dawn to dusk (and that is with the help of a maid), as only our oldest is in school. Idle is the last word I would use to describe her then or now, and any respite she receives is well-earned.

Having said that I must admit I am often bothered by the (mostly Western) expat mothers who stay at home but then hand the kids over to day care and maids to raise. These women are idle and seem to spend more time at the club perfecting their tans and tennis game than raising their children. I am also bothered by the mothers of small children who are here on their husband's visa and don't need more income, but still go out to work because they are bored at home or want some extra cash. Ultimately, of course, it is each couple's choice, and only they know what is best for their family.

That's why I said it depends how much the domestic support permits a mum to work or not work.

***A Working Mother Is A Great Role Model***

NoMerci - Typo error - Not 2.3 months old but it is 2.3 yrs old son!!

NoMerci - Thank you very much and let me switch off my office PC and run home!!!

Amir Faizi, then I can only congratulate your wife and you!

edifis, is "mother" was a bear, and this bear did not work. Besides, Mowgli was a naughty boy!

NoMerci - The perfect and live example is me only. My wife is working and we have got 2.3 months old son who is going to nursery. I do all the jobs of grocery, shopping and all with my office work and wife manages kid and her houshold work as well with proper balance.

I disagree. How was Mowgli brought up to be such a decent child?

AmirFaizi, sorry, but I can't agree. Plus, how can her husband support her in "day to day activities" if he is at work all day?

See, I am a stay at home mother, out of choice. And when my child was little, I had VERY little time to be idle.

Then, when my child was bigger, I had a little breather after dropping him off to school, before picking him up . cooking lunch and supervising homework,then cooking dinner....but of course a mother can go to work if she wishes to do so or has to for economical reasons.

But , what I heard from friends who did that, it is not an easy task, especially if one wants to be fully involved with the proper upbringing of the child.

See, I think the PARENTS should bring up the child, no maid, nanny or family members like aunts, sisters or grandparents...if at all possible.

i agree with Nazrin123 only when the kids are old enough.

if husband is getting good enough earnings to run the house, then wife should not go for work till kids are one and half year old. end of the day we are working hard to give good life to our kids, and if the kids are getting sick then why wife should leave them on others?

Think about this: what better role model could your child have than a working mother who balances work and home to perfection?Giving kids more responsibility creates responsible children. The children in a working home tend to look after each other with greater affection and purpose. The father of a household in which the mother also works tends to have a greater hand in household duties. This teaches our sons and daughters sharing responsibilities such as fathers can wash dishes just as well as moms etc....

I beleive that everyone here will look at this issue on their own point of view and comment on the basis of the domestic support they get yet, we will not be able to draw a conclussion on "working mum is a benefit or harm"

Oops Just now I googled kadama and I found out that it means a breed of dog, which means human kadamas are extinct!

our own experience with first baby was, she was just one year old when we put her in nursery. till one and half year age she use to get sick everyday. although nursery standard was very high under British management, but still small kids get sick.

we have now second baby, but me and my wife decided that wife should not work till baby get at least one and half year or 2 year old. less then this age kids are not strong enough to go to nursery.

my conclusion is that if family is not need of money and husband is getting enough paid to feed whole family then wife should not work till baby get at least one and half or two year old. but if husband's pay is not enough to run house then its different scenario.

If all mothers stay at home what will the Kadamas do? They may become extinct.

NoMerci - If a small house and husband is supportive in all ways in helping her in day to day activities, she will be free (not say idle) after doing all her required work. So, that much time can be utilized for her own self, if she wants to work. No forcing, plz!

AmirFazi, and those few times where she is not busy , are well deserved. As a mother of a small child with a house to clean, groceries to buy, food to cook, clothes to was and iron, plus a husband.....trust me, there is very little time to be "idle".

NoMerci - No offence to any mother! Mother is definitely not idle but if it is only one small kid with husband, there are times, when she will not be having anything to do, and if the same continues for months and years, it will be kinda boring stuff. Let her go out and work and also she should not loose focus on her kid!

I believe it is up to bothe partners to decide. in no way should one force the other.

IMHO it is best for the child if the mother stays at home and actively brings her child up.

Of course that is not always possible, and some mothers do not want to stay home. Again, forcing somebody to make a decision against their wishes can't have a good outcome. IMHO.

AmirFazi, since when can a mother with a small baby be considered"idle"? Granted, if the maid brings up the kid , that is a different story.

As long as baby is in safe hand (baby sitting or play school) and parents are comfortable, there sould not be any problem for mother to work. At the same time, work keeps the mother busy instead of sitting idle at home with just a small baby. In both this, mother is gaining experience in her professional life and kid is also growing by learning new things in group.