Announcements Aboard The Aircraft
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or
reported:
1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant
crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached
cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for
your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight
attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington
National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella.
WHOA!"
4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please
take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull
it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you,
secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with
more than one small child, pick your favorite.";)
well such things are mostly said on southwest or delta
Little too close to the line, Stone, some of my friends and colleagues were on that flight. Capt, the original story is that at the briefing at pushback the (male) F/A said, "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only 8 ways to leave a 727"(four door and four window exits.) I believe it was Southwest.
Mandi
They should make this cheeky announcement also before slamming it into tower 2..LOL
yeah ur right mandi.. but the FA meant the same thing.. but a bit differently..as she was linking it with leave ur gf..
??? Every door on an aircraft is an emergency exit - that's why they are "armed." And only a few aircraft have 4 and 4 only door level exits. Yes, of course, other doors can be used as catering doors, etc., but only L side doors fwd and aft are ever used for boarding/deplaning.
Mandi
roger got the radios.. seriously i love the radio alot..
*well if a captain takes a wrong decision in any case the co-pilot as the right to overtake the controls or correct him.
mandi there are four doors basically excluding the emergency exits... 2 at the front and to at the back.. they can go up depending on the aircraft type
There was actually one case of a captain who hijacked his own aircraft from Cuba to the US bringing up the issue - can a pilot-in-command hijack his/her own aircraft?
Mandi
Number 2 is inaccurate. On arrival there is only one way to leave the aircraft- through the boarding door! The other exits are emergency only and are pointed out during the safety briefing on departure.
Mandi
ruby: No 2 is my fav too.... :))
captkhan: Roger i have control, you have radios... :)
These are all old, so I'll throw in my all time favourite ...
The airline had a policy that required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a - 'Thanks for flying XYZ airline'.
An airline pilot on this particular flight hammered his plane into the runway really hard. In light of his bad landing, he had difficulty looking the passengers in the eye, all the time he thought that a passenger would have a smart comment. However, it seemed that all the passengers were too shell shocked to say anything.
Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 'Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?' Why no Ma'am,' said the pilot, 'What is it', the little old lady said, 'Did we land or were we shot down?'
My aircraft.
Mandi
I find #2 very amusing indeed ;)
saadm has control of the aircraft.. [ you have control ]
recognizable! If not, your going out of the laboratory! Lol!
LOL...
Lovemee: lol, i will ask my co-pilot...
I think ur co-pilot knows best...
he told me i will come out IN THE NEWS!!!!..;)
lovemee, was the plane on fire or just got over a fire? :))
no need to come out of the plane if the second one is the case. :)
lets wait for the Pilot, maybe he knows where..:P
Lovemee: Go to the nearest Emergency exit and open the door, and as soon the Slide activates jump on it...
Don't forget to wear the Life Jacket.... ;)
Hmmm...from the Wash room ? :(
Try again...:P
Hmmm.. or my be the Cock Pit ? :(
R u sure???!!!
Lovemee u come out from the Exit Door....:)
Please answer this one..:P
If i am flying in an airplane and it gets on fire where do i come out?
you know what triggered my concern, not the original jokes but the joke about plane/flight h........g!
Rizks: Maldives flight has one of the best Air hostess which flor wants the number off....
The maroon one ;)
Poda Rizku
(transalation: Hello rizku)
saadm does ur Maldives flight hav good looking Air Hostess ?
Hope u dont mind Me hijacking 2 or ur flights Air hostesses....:)
flor: no worries, i'll change the heading of the thread now.... we are going to Maldives.... :)
Hmmm... Yea !
hope you understand!
Khattak...Mera Lambaa.....:)
Rizks... Olaamba :P
flor...this thread has already changed its coarse (again).
This is just a joke and should be taken and treated as a joke. As the OP is not a Joker or a kid tat he doesnt know wat he has posted or saying ?
So, no need to get emotional here.
And we too respect his profession.
Khattak chup sha ! :)
is not taken slightly by aviation authorities. I knew and witness alot of joke like this ended up messy! So please, stop this non-sense!
Rizks.....okie he might not be wearing diapers.
But, nipple in mouth? Are you sure?
my strong advice is for you to request to lock this thread and removed all words that may endanger your career.
Please, to others, if we consider our friend, please stop the joke about h.........g!
flor padre chill man !
the Pilot (saadm) is not a kid wearing diapers and having a nipple in his mouth....:)
He knows how to take jokes and in which prespective.
Cheerz !
Flor: i agree with you, i am scared of Hijacking it self..... :((
even if this is posted in funnies, I would respectfully ask the Mods to lock this thread before someone ends up in hot water!
a joke? It's not a good joke! I'm telling you people, stop this line of jokes as it might bring uncomfortableness to some people! Just stay on good jokes! It's a friendly advise! Specially we have a Qler who is involved directly to such work. We don't want him involved in this kind of "hijacking joke". Hope you understand the sensitivity of this topic!
LMAO Khattak...with so heafty Air Hostess'es how can it fly ? :(
LOLzzz..... PIA has to fly first to get hijacked :P
Khattak bhai this is PIA flight...ROFL
JK
Headache :( ..... because of HiJaCkInG. I've seen a Pilot hijacking his own flight for the first time :P
Khattak wat happened boss ? :)
... ... ... ...
gloomy, no worries for you there will be Special Movie onboard, with Chocolates.... ;)
Rizks, even if tinker hit's the Boot tip on my head
my head would remain in tact... .hahahha
my butt ? :( Ohh Mi Goat :)
Tinku has to go back since his supervisor iz back ...:(
If the supervisor sees her using his PC, then he will remove his torn chappals and run back of Tinku....LMAO
tinker: take out the tip, and the rest is fine.... ;)
lol saad. i will never fly in you airline. no hijacks on air travels pls! :(
Quite u pervert ! :)
Tinku bang tat steel tip boots of urs on Saadm's head....:)
Rizks, i love Bootiful Girls...;)
Rizks, i am out of the flight then the whole flight is going down...... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. ;)
saadm do u love boots as well ? :)
lol Tinku wait lemme call ur supervisor and tell him wat u diong in his PC....:)
saadm Ok, u r thrown out of the flight then ? :(
tinker, we hire Married air hostess as well.... ;)
Rizks, i love Bootiful Ghosts... :))
Rizks: you can take any other Air Hostesses.... I am serious too.... ;)
no computer ? :(
then how r u online now ? :(
ohh wait.. this is Ghost ? bhaagoooooo.....:)
Tinku dahling, there is alwayz a Izpecial corner for you in my Heart baby ! :)
tinker: sure Welcome aboard....
tinker, i am single too... ;)
i am good
saadm i want only and only Lovemee u can take the other cabin crews...:( I m serious.....:)
Tinku dahlin Welcome Welcome, wat took u so long to come ? Were u stuck in the wash room or wat ? :)
Tinker: would you like to join my airline, as a Air Hostesses....
How are you
Lol!
Rizks: One pilot would be flying and other one would be free...;)
You can take any one else, we have many Air Hostesses...
abey oye saadm, Pilots should be busy in flying and landing plane...not flirting around....lol
Leave Lovemee Alone For Me....:)
Lovemee: Hijacking is allowed on my Thread.... ;)
Rizks: lovemee, is reserved for the pilots... ;)
your last comment, don't say airline, just say thread! I'm serious!
saadm how about Kidnaping ?
i would like to Kidnap Lovemee from this Aircraft ! :)
saadm wait bachha... ur PM is sent to you through a Tortroise....:)
Flor: you are really naughty, Should i tell your Ace about it.... ;)
Rizks: Where is my Pm....
thank you ArieL !
lol.. thx.. nice one
Flor..naughty naughty eh..:P
lol Lovemee...thankz for the love message ..i mean PM..replied check it !
Its so good to play PM PM ....looolz
I suggest you changed your username to Lovehimm! Lol!
hmm... not bad
replied, check it..sorry op for d hijack.
LOLzzz..... Good Ones :D
today QL Pilot is in the air..:P
The last one is quite cheeky! but TFS though.
Lol!
Hmm....