Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I know I'm WAY older than you, but there used to be this cartoon called Clutch Cargo, that had these still shots but the mouths would move. THAT is what he reminds me of when he talks...I can't even watch his show because I'm so busy watching his mouth...lol
I insulted Chuck Norris to his face once. Started making high kicks and laughing at this guy who I thought looked like Chuck Norris. Then he told me he was Chuck Norris. I am still alive to tell the tale.
"I fight with love and I laugh with rage, you have to live light enough to see the humor and long enough to see some change." Ani Difranco
and this one is true..he lives only about 20 miles from my home in Texas...has this really BIG ranch..hmm no oil wells that I can see from the road, nor no bad guys knocked out along the way... tho...
can we have steven seagal facts...?