Funny instructions

Winn
By Winn

Funny Instructions

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

By Winn• 11 Jun 2008 08:20
Winn

yeah...britexpat...somebody had sent me stories of some really silly litigations. Including that of the woman who put her puppy in an oven to dry!!

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

By JAVI• 11 Jun 2008 06:01
JAVI

Condom warning label: "Practice safe sex, 1 at a time." lol

Man, I crack myself up, sooooo funny!

By Kickin• 11 Jun 2008 01:36
Kickin

I like the "keep out of children" on the knife.

By anonymous• 10 Jun 2008 17:22
anonymous

hee hee

Last night I bought a plastic food container w/lid. Included in the instructions was "Open in microwave".

huh???

By britexpat• 10 Jun 2008 17:09
britexpat

Copanies have to do this, espeially in the USA, to protect themselves from being sued..

Remember the lady who burnt her private parts wth coffee from McDonalds?

By wmhizon• 10 Jun 2008 17:03
wmhizon

lol

 

"Even if LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN!

By bakamuna• 10 Jun 2008 16:17
bakamuna

the superman cloth is good also...

By nadt• 10 Jun 2008 16:02
nadt

these were so funny....loved the chainsaw one....lol....

By skdkak closed 1708224867• 10 Jun 2008 15:50
skdkak closed 1708224867

[img_assist|nid=60386|title=.|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]

By brandylady• 10 Jun 2008 15:48
brandylady

been posted recently :)

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