How to get what you want
The Maid asked for a pay raise.
Madam was very upset about this and asked:
-'Now Maria, why do you want an increase?'
-Maria: 'Well Madam, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you .
-' Madam: 'Who said you iron better than me?
-'Maria: 'The Master said so.
-'Madam: 'Oh.
-'Maria. 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.
-' Madam: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than I?
-'Maria: 'The Master did.' Madam.
-'Maria: 'My third reason is that I am a better lover than you.
-' Madam (very upset now): 'Did the Master say so as well?
-'Maria: 'No Madam, the chauffeur did.
'SHE GOT THE PAY RAISE
_____________________________________________________________
Deciding the days
A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.
While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."
On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.
Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.
I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.
1. TUESDAY
2. THURSDAY
3. TODAY
4. TOMORROW
P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."
I can't resist forwarding your jokes to my step son, as he loves jokes. he's always greatful with all the jokes I sent him.
It's great 2 b loved!
woohoooo, love this one indeed, hehehehehehehehhe(thanks for cheering me up - am in pain)
life's too short so make the most of it, you only live but once.......
lol nice ones!
ROFL! HA HA HA LOL!
"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."