Husband and Wife Jokes

urassistant
By urassistant

Do share your views about this jokes :)

 

It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.



A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!



True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar rahi ho?


Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.


Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...



Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife


A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!


At late night wife's smartphone beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry.
He wakens his wife.
Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful???
Surprised wife checks her mobile.
Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.


At late night wife's smartphone beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry.
He wakens his wife.
Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful???
Surprised wife checks her mobile.
Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full.










By Wild Turkey• 22 Jul 2015 21:36
Wild Turkey

There are no husband-and-wife jokes. It's bloody serious.

By britexpat• 22 Jul 2015 19:54
Rating: 5/5
britexpat

Women are strange . My Cuban Shotputter has been nagging me for buying a fake Rokex from Rizks 120 riyals

Really, she hasn't stopped going on since 1.83 o'clock.

By zafirah• 22 Jul 2015 14:36
Rating: 4/5
zafirah

Wife is angry as Rizku stands too close to a beautiful girl in bus, girl slaps him for pinching.

Rizku to wife: I swear I didn't .

Wife: I know, I did it.

Read more: http://www.latestsms.in/husband-wife-jokes-in-english.htm#ixzz3gcSKByCU

By acchabaccha• 21 Jul 2015 13:49
Rating: 4/5
acchabaccha

Rizks' position inside the house is like a split A/C.

No matter how loud he is outside, but inside the house he is designed to remain silent, cool, and controlled by remote!

By Sense Mine• 21 Jul 2015 13:16
Rating: 4/5
Sense Mine

LOL britexpat!

By britexpat• 21 Jul 2015 13:06
britexpat

Rizks' wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour!"

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