Noah's Ark....

Xena
By Xena

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
South Africa , and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the
unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah sweeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Metro Council for a decision.

Then ESKOM (South africa's electric company) demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of the local ecological system.

I tried to convince them that I needed the wood to save us all from extinction - but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) prosecuted me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of the ark to plan a route to the sea. I told them also that the sea would be coming to my back yard. They threatened to have me committed.

Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the BEE group on how many affirmative action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

The Department of The Interior has insisted that I provide them with a list of the people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from the non designated group .
COSATU say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, SARS (South African Revenue Services - as in tax department) seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. "

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord.

"The South African Government has beaten me to it."

By medohaqatar• 21 Nov 2010 08:28
medohaqatar

maybe hardly any regulation, maybe plenty of cheap labour and little regard for the environment, but the construction phase would take far, far too long, cos the labour is slow, would it float as most buildings here built by that cheap labour leak and crack and fall apart, and the permits, permissions, approvals, would take a decade to sort.

By linc• 18 Nov 2010 19:32
Rating: 5/5
linc

He should build it in Qatar--hardly any regulation, plenty of cheap labor and little regard for the environment. But then there are so few animals in Qatar, that is unless you wonder around people's houses and start collecting their 'pet' tigers and such. No doubt someone has a rhino tucked away somewhere ;-)

By medohaqatar• 18 Nov 2010 15:43
medohaqatar

how true britexpat, how true

By gudone• 18 Nov 2010 15:10
Rating: 2/5
gudone

oops... sad..

By MLK• 18 Nov 2010 14:54
Rating: 3/5
MLK

To conclude i would replace:

"The South African Government has beaten me to it."

...by

"Israel and its Zionists have destroyed South Africa by implementing the Apartheid system before..." to be right and fare. Simply return to Caesar what belongs to Caesar.

By britexpat• 18 Nov 2010 14:52
britexpat

It would be funny if it wasn't true. Sadly, its even worse in the UK :O(

Log in or register to post comments

More from Qatar Living

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Qatar’s top beaches for water sports thrills

Let's dive into the best beaches in Qatar, where you can have a blast with water activities, sports and all around fun times.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part Two

This guide brings you the top apps that will simplify the use of government services in Qatar.
Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

Most Useful Apps In Qatar - Part One

this guide presents the top must-have Qatar-based apps to help you navigate, dine, explore, access government services, and more in the country.
Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Winter is coming – Qatar’s seasonal adventures await!

Qatar's winter months are brimming with unmissable experiences, from the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to the World Aquatics Championships Doha 2024 and a variety of outdoor adventures and cultural delights.
7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

7 Days of Fun: One-Week Activity Plan for Kids

Stuck with a week-long holiday and bored kids? We've got a one week activity plan for fun, learning, and lasting memories.
Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Wallet-friendly Mango Sticky Rice restaurants that are delightful on a budget

Fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a sweet escape into the world of budget-friendly Mango Sticky Rice that's sure to satisfy both your cravings and your budget!
Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in  high-end elegance

Places to enjoy Mango Sticky Rice in high-end elegance

Delve into a world of culinary luxury as we explore the upmarket hotels and fine dining restaurants serving exquisite Mango Sticky Rice.
Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Where to celebrate World Vegan Day in Qatar

Celebrate World Vegan Day with our list of vegan food outlets offering an array of delectable options, spanning from colorful salads to savory shawarma and indulgent desserts.