Thank you email..for those annoying emails that you recieve

 Dear All 
 
   My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........
>>
>> I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in
>> the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with
>> every envelope that needs sealing.
>>
>> Also,I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
>> reason.
>>
>> I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
>> Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
>>
>> I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I
>> receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me
>> for participating in their special e-mail program ....
>>
>> Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me To split $7
>> million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a
>> customer who died Intestate.
>>
>> I no longer worry about my soul because I have
>> 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has
>> granted my every wish.
>>
>> I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
>> water buffalo on a hot day.
>>
>> Thanks to you,
>>
>> I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail
>> to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
>>
>> Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can
>> remove toilet stains.
>>
>> I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the
>> car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling
>> up.
>>
>> I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
>> perfume sample and rob me.
>>
>> I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
>> number For which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
>> Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .
>>
>> Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
>> brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant
>> death when it bites my bum.
>>
>> And thanks to your great advice,
>>
>> I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park
>> because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
>> underneath my car to grab my leg.
>>
>> If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
>> 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at
>> 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your
>> back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
>>