Acceptable type of relation

Since i left Canada many things not going the same. I believe i was doing fine there :P:P:P

Sorry TravelGate, your opinions are fairly Western and you said you lived in Canada. I'm only here in Nova Scotia till Saturday, I was in Europe for two weeks. And there is plenty of rain in Halifax. :)

lol:) dear DohaGirl. first of all am not western. Second, why u saty in canada all that long. And no rain in toronto these days! been there for long. Super, do u think that a group of ppl from this site can have great times in DOHA!!!

I didn't mean any connotations when I said "looking for a good time", you are correct, we all are. Hence why I am a big sad loser on the internet in Canada, this is far more entertaining than reading about oil shipping and wishing I was outside enjoying the rain.

The phrase "looking for a good time" has some ugly connotations (mostly because of hollywood script writers and their poprtrayal of prostitutes) but there is nothing wrong with it.

What is anyone looking for if not a good time (please don't feel free to mention anything about God at this point)?

I am keen on the "right" person as much as anyone but am content to pass a few fun times with a few "wrong" ones. No harm etc

Oh and it is rightly.

I wish I was still on vacation. I'm stuck in our Canadian office doing research on Liquid Natural Gas carriers. I've had my two weeks of tramping through Europe, now I have to work. :(

So for Super and TravelGate it should read, well off, western expats who think quite highly of themselves (rightly or wrongly)and are looking for a good time. :D

dohagirl you are meant to be on holiday. Stop being so sad and get off the internet and go and enjoy that rain. You are not going to see any for the next few months so you may as well make the most of it.

Giasi

You are missing

Single, loaded, good looking, amusing, gifted, Western Expats

I was feeling left out

Howard the Duck

Howard Hughes

You can also add,

well off paid and highly educated, handsome expat that can add alot to western woman life, as he also can learn from her. Mutual interest on equivalent basis

You forgot Western expat who couldn't cut it back in his own country and is looking for nice little Asian girl 20 years younger than him, with which to start is second or third family.

DG, i understand you totally. Most the guys out here looking to date fall into a few categories.

western expats usually with gf/wife back home who are just lookin for a good time.

Expat kids (18-21) usually out on vacation or at one of the universities.

Single/married qataris.. again after a good time.

Other expats sometimes with gf/wife back home again looking for a good time

Other expats who are single but couldnt marry a westerner because of family pressure.

which, i believe leaves you with two options

1. single western expats lookin for lurve (few and far between... though i do know one i cud introduce u too ;)....)

2..single non western expats whom you earn X times more than where you would question their motives even if they seemed sincere and maybe whom your family and friends wouldnt accept.

maybe others can add to this list.

Yup, sad its the truth and sad for the men out there. :D Have Qatari seen the suggestion to add emoticons?

Insulting or not it's the truth. And I never said there wasn't good Arab men out there, I believe I've said I've pretty much given up dating ANY men.

People are getting married for all the wrong reason, regardless of race or geographics and these loose western women, asian gold diggers ideas that people have is so insulting. Likewise, there are good Arab men out there, so have heart.

Tell me about it :D. It's one of the reasons I don't date here. I've just met so many men in the past who are only after a quick shag with a loose western woman that I have a real problem trusting any man I meet at all. In fact I run for the hills whenever it seems like anyone is interested in me. I guess once burned, twice shy. And since I can't bring myself to trust the Western men I meet, how am I supposed to trust the Arab men. That's probably a huge reason why a lot of Western women won't date Arab men.

dohagirl, you are right. It should be clarified that this is not a condition that solely afflicts Arab men. It's quite rampant in Asia too and that includes the subcontinent.

Vice Versa I've also met a couple of women in Qatar who moved there hoping to find some rich Qatari man to marry.

Vice Versa I've also met a couple of women in Qatar who moved there hoping to find some rich Qatari man to marry.

I didn't mean it as a shot at men, just from my experience while teaching English in Qatar and Korea, that some Western men who do not like the attitudes of Western women move to Asian countries to find themselves more suitable women (ones who generally know there place, or at least thats what I've been told). This is more common in Eastern Asia, especially Korea and Japan. There are many who meet and marry because of mutual attraction and love, but there is unfortunately also a group of men who go over there to take advantage of these women and the culture in which they were raised.

Sorry DG, i'm not following on the part moving to Asia, can u pls elaborate?

Exactly why an Arab guy and myself would never work out GIASI, I personally believe that its ok for me to have premarital sex as well, and that doing so does not mean I'm a whore or that I will sleep with anyone who asks me (far from it in fact). And it isn't just Arab men who have that mentality, I've met a couple of Westerners who share it as well, that's why they move to Asia.

It's schizophrenia, GIASAI. Without going into sordid details here the "virgin" bride could well have had other forms of let's say intercourse or an emergency patching up process. 'Nuff said.

Problem is DG. An arab male mentality usually means its ok for guys to have pre-marital relationships with women as long as they dont marry one of them. This usually stems from the opinion that "if she slept with u shell sleep with anyone". Believe me, alot of arab men have this mentality. Marriage is reserved for the innocent virgin that your mom picks out for you while your sowing your wild oats.

There was an uproar in Sudan last month when controversial cleric, Hassan al-Turabi, issued a fatwa in which, among other items, he declared that it was permissable for a Muslim woman to marry a Christian or Jewish man.

Turabi's decree led to the first such marriage of its kind in modern Sudan. A Muslim woman married a Christian man in a church in Al Qadarif on Sudan's eastern border, adjoining Ethiopia.

Still that's the exception to the rule.

Super 7, I'm simply a horrible typer. I type too fast and don't pay attention to what I am writing, always have, always will. :)

I know Muslim/Non-Muslim relationships that have worked in Canada as well, but in both cases neither or the couples was very strictly Muslim, and their general values were pretty Western.

Also I think it would be different if it was his wife who had to convert to Muslim, instead of him. I stand by my belief that Islam is harder on a woman.

One of my friends in the UK married a pakistani muslim girl and had to convert.

He is an atheist and she is not that fussed as she was born and raised in UK but her parents wanted her to marry a muslim.

wedding was muslim with Koran etc but those on the westerners tables (friends of the groom and friends of the bride from medical school) all got smashed.

They are still happily married and everything seems cool.

My mate has visited Kashmir and likes the family lots.

I guess he was lucky in that religion was meaningless to him so he was happy to sign up to islam to keep the in laws sweet

Dohagirl why are people from Qatar the only one of your nationality plurals that get an apostrophe?

What is it about ending in i that compels you to punctuate?

I never said that Arabs/Westerners couldn't be friends. Some of my best friends in Qatar are Qatari's, Jordinans and Palestinians. I feel completely comfortable with them despite our cultural differences, (conversations on dating usually end up with shock and laughter on both sides). The problem is, that no matter how cute I think my Jordinian friend is I know he is a strict Muslim and therefore I wouldn't date him, because if it worked out then he would expect me to convert, which I couldn't do. Not only that but I can imagine dating him in Qatar would be similar to blacks and whites dating in 1950's United States.

More importantly than all that, we would never date because we don't see eye to eye on a lot of things about dating and what is proper or improper. We are good friends, but we would never make good lovers.

I believe u r all right with some exceptions of course. what i realized in non of the arabic ladies -whether local or not- responded to the topic !!!. would this be 3 out of four discussion.

(western man, western woman, arabic man, arabic woman-missed-.

yesterday, i went to watch the world cup final at Diplomatic club tent, and there was a very nice group from both sides. It was really normal, and all the crowds interacted and accepted them in a very friendly way.

I completely agree with GIASI as well. Although I don't know anyone in a Muslim/non-Muslim relationship in Qatar (I do in Canada but its a different can of worms there) I do know many people in Korean/Western relationships and many of those have failed due to cultural differences. And those relationships don't even have the problem of coming from two different religions.

Lasting relationships are based on compatibility and understanding, and while I know there are people who have made their cross-cultural relationships work, they are the exception rather than the rule. (Unfortunately).

Yup GIASI you are absolutely right. Religion and socio-cultural norms have the final say. And by the way, it wasn't that long ago that a Qatari woman was put under house arrest for wanting to marry a Lebanese guy!

I agree with Dohagirl - I also find Arab (and that includes local, too) men very attractive :^) But I would never want to be a local man's girlfriend. I know that local men do not respect women that date, don't cover, and have pre-marital sex and you can try and argue with me all you want, I will still stick to that.

im afraid when the equation is transposed to western man and arab/muslim man, releigion has the final say. Though it is acceptable (though not idealised) that a muslim man marries a jewish or christian woman, im afraid that option isnt afforded the same option.

I have many friends and relatives who have experienced cross-cultural, cross-religious (is that a word?) marriages. Im afraid, in most cases, once the novelty has worn off, very little remains to hold the relationships together and many fail.

There are obviously many exceptions to the rule, but these tend to be due to the effort of the couple to overcome difficulties.

It's not a question of the community accepting a particular relationship. It's a matter of the individual accepting the principle of it. Would you accept for your self what you seek from others? And I don't mean you in particular.

OH god!! that complicated !

Hey Travel.gate…. so we talking about the community now?? Well if it is about the community it wan’t accept both wayz. ,Arabic man (mostly not Qatari) married to western the gossip well go like this .. “ oh his after her money� , “ he wana take the western passport�, and in the opposite side Arabic woman (not Qatari) the gossip well gos like .. “shes a gold-digger� ,�slut�.

Why im not talking about the Qataris?? coz for your information Qatari woman’s not allowed to marry none Qatari and if she do it .. her children wan’t have any benefits that Qatari have, and the Qatar man have the money and his passport is respected everywhere so ppl can’t talk about him if he marry a western the best shot they can say is .. “she steeld him� or “brain washed him�.

That’s my opinion and that’s some of wat I heard around but I can’t judge the whole community , my opinion isn’t always right and that’s gos for all that im posting here

"e46M3, yes it is possible. we try to find another ways for a good communication that is accepted from both sides. if the community would accept arabic man -not just qatari-with western woman, would the same community accept Arabic woman -not just qatari- with western man!

i am not that long in the country and cannot judge the manners here, but i can tell that u stayed for awhile,, so what do u think?

Afro187, I'm glad that you clarified yourself. I was of the opinion that you were just after a quick shag! Sorry for the bluntness.

1st thankx everybody for answerin me most of ur answers was expected (no offence).. I hope no body got me wrong, when I was talking about short term (im not lookin for that) and I didn’t mean one night stand if anybody wondering short trem could b like a one week,1month- 3,4 months, it really depend on the way u see it!! Well everybody got the right to choose who they well go with, but sayin no coz his arab or any other ethnic group that’s wired coz u might just meet some cool guy and his not the ordinary arab that u thought!! Is that possible?? Now about marriage if the other part is like no don’t take my freedom I’ll not cover just for u etc I guess there wan’t b a marriage its not all about cover its about the other part is not ready to listen to wat u got shes not ready to discuss wats in her mind, wats in her mind is right or @ lest that’s wat she been told so she wan’t change it for anybody!!, she knows that she’s here for short period and that’s is not her home country so y wastin time in discussions while she could easly leave and find any other man out side its a (many men country), well with this type of girl its always better to stay just a friend, I wish I can write more now but I gtg now ..oh if forget to mention (all of the above is from my point of view and wat I think is goin on here, I don’t mean to insult anybody, and last but not the lest im talking from an experience)

I’ll come back later and read the replyz

Bye4 now

Travelgate, there is a big difference in my point of view between friendship and a short term relationship. A friendship means no romantic interaction, an STR means a romantic relationship.

And excellent point about the Western man/Arab women.

Why is this matter always so one-sided?

Reverse the equation; Western Man, Arab/Muslim Woman.

Dohagirl, i pinpointed the short term relation (STR) under the condition of friendship and due to the nature of continuous traveling. You drag my attention by your note to the side effect of STR on women (feeling like sluts)i did not mean it that way. i think ur opinion does not hold true in case of friendship!!

And do not say "does it exist" :)

An unfortunate fact of life is that women are looking for long term relationships and marriage, unfortunately we still have these cultural mores instilled on us that to have lots of short term relationships means we are a slut. Sad fact of life.

It's nice to know that I've said some interesting things about dating, I don't know whether that's a good thing or not but I will pretend it is. :)

I've had this discussion many times before with friends from various cultures around the world and we've come to this conclussion. It is not racism to refuse to date someone from the host-culture you are in, especially when it is a vastly different culture from the one you were raised in. Although men find it easier to overlook cultural and moral/values differences women do not find it easier. This is because women usually end up having to bear the "bad end of the stick" in cultural situations.

I would date/marry someone of Arabic decent, in fact I find Arabic men extremely attractive, but I could never date/marry a strict Muslim who expected me to convert. Any man who would expect me to adapt to a culture or value/moral system that is not my own is "shit out of luck". I like my values/morals, the culture is ok :) And I'm looking for a man who shares those values.

As for friendships, I think they are great and I encourage them.

Afro, actually the reason i asked this question is not to have a relation. I am permanent resident in Canada, Egyptian origin, and lived in USA and UK, lately i lived in Kuwait for many years. at the beginning i found it difficult to interact with different cultures, and it gone smoother by the time. I had GFs and we started to discuss the matter. Actually they are just afraid from the unknown, as all humans, it is their right that i cannot deny it to them.

As of short or long relation, it really depends of man and woman intentions, i would suggest it is short term in Qatar. ((IF ANY))i Would prefer FRIENDSHIP rather phrasing it in periods. it is less commitment and more vibrant, with lot of fun and no hidden agendas.

Not just men seek women. They also need sharing good times. the question is how the relation reaches the equilibrium :)

afro... its natural for people to look for long term partners that are more compatible to their own personal lifestyle (relegious, social, cultural,financial etc). it makes things easier in the long run. As someone earlier mentioned, diverse people do fall in love and marry (i remember an english woman marrying a masai warrior once) but these are few and far between.

Saying that, noone looks for a short term relationship on purpose (unless its a one-night stand). I think that we enter into a relationship not knowing how it will turn out and with time decide if its worth going on or not. It would be an awful waste of time to live life through short term relationships.

Well here comes my turn.. wat I think is man I said it several times b4 it’s a “ many men and few girls community� so girls well b feelin like desert queen .. shes talking about shes not gona date any local guy here well im not gona discuss that its her own right .. but I’ll discuss about my self and about wat I think its goin on here.. that’s just incase ur new here ..here is wat I think ist goin on with the girls here (im only talking about the expats so far) u or me if ur Indian , Asian, Arab , they might date u if ur black but only if ur blk American or blk European!! U might ask y this is raciest!! And the answer well be no its not ur just not my type.. let me ask u this questions r u rich r u white ..r u American or European ?? ur in the game if answer is now well I can’t say u won’t get none but ur chances is really rare.. When we talk about relationship there is 4 type of them (correct me if im wrong) .. 1- Short term relation 2-just normal friends 3- long term 4- marriage.. and some ppl here in the form just mentioning number 4 with out even discuss all the previous three!! I thought that’s only arab girl thinking that relationship meanz marriage it can’t be any other !! so if we assume there is 4 types wats ur options (im talking to the expat woman’s here on the form) umm let me guess they well go for either number 2 or 4 isn’t ?? the reason im sayin this is coz I lived here long enough and I had been thru relationships too…. They won’t let u go for option 3 coz they think u don’t deserve it and they even not wellin to try ur and c ur true color again if u aint’ American or European.. now if u wondering how did she guess about the girls above mentioned .. well it easy its girls community .. they communicate by callin each other and askin about each other .. I know I might been out of the track for lil bit but hope that helped u if u lookin for relation on here Travel. gate.. waiting for everybody replyz and yo girls don’t just get mad just get real .. keep that in mind while u ppl replyin me

I can understand what you said. However there can be a free friendship as just sharing the good times and hang around. or it can develope to more physical as a B/G friend. married is rare not because the constraints of common understanding rather than the laws and family traditions. And why u just picked the local men. there are many nationalities around.

LOL, it is pretty apparent that u know about all the other girls :)

"Never doubt that a small group of committed ppl can change the world" Not my words :)

Huh? Do we really NEED to?

Yeah so OK I can imagine having a local boyfriend, if I had nothing better to do, but MARRY him? Oh noway noway noway. Jeez...

And I would imagine a local man thinking along the same lines when a western girl is concerned.

Of course there are exceptions, and people do fall in love and get married, but these are so rare they aren't worth mentioning.

And as for the list of people you posted here, namely Aisha, Doha girl, Sunny and Redcajun - here is what I think about it: Aisha won't date anyone, Doha Girl says she won't date anyone but that's a self imposed restraint which can be self removed, and she is obviously free to date whoever she pleases. Same applies to Sunny and Red, and their comments here on the site suggest they are not particularly picky.

:p

Just simmer over low heat in a stainless steel pot, not teflon, and it should be ok.