Amateur crimefighters are surging in the US

britexpat
By britexpat

Where's RP ?????? I thought I saw someone wearing his underwear over his trousers and a red cape near landmark yesterday!

“After months of designing my costume, getting my street moves just right, it was my first week out as a Real Life Superhero – and probably my last. This tiny, tiny girl did not like me trying to calm down her screaming boyfriend. She blindsided me, I’m still bruised. It’s dangerous out there,” said the deflated would-be crime fighter last week.

Mr Invisible is cheered that at least his grey one-piece “invisibility suit” works, proven when a drunk urinated on him in an alley. But he is weary of lurking in dark, down-town Los Angeles after dark.

The 29-year-old graduate is “refocusing” on his day job as an insurance salesman. His farewell appearance will be at a New Year’s Eve party.

There are, according to the recently launched World Superhero Registry, more than 200 men and a few women who are willing to dress up as comic book heroes and patrol the urban streets in search of, if not super-villains, then pickpockets and bullies.

They may look wacky, but the superhero community was born in the embers of the 9/11 terrorist attacks when ordinary people wanted to do something short of enlisting. They were boosted by a glut of Hollywood superhero movies.

In recent weeks, prompted by heady buzz words such as “active citizenry” during the Barack Obama campaign, the pace of enrolment has speeded up. Up to 20 new “Reals”, as they call themselves, have materialised in the past month.

The Real rules are simple. They must stand for unambiguous and unsponsored good. They must create their own Spandex and rubber costumes without infringing Marvel or DC Comics copyrights, but match them with exotic names – Green Scorpion in Arizona, Terrifica in New York, Mr Xtreme in San Diego and Mr Silent in Indianapolis.

They must shun guns or knives to avoid being arrested as vigilantes, even if their nemeses may be armed. Their best weapon is not muscle but the internet – an essential tool in their war on crime is a homepage stating the message of doom for super-villains.

This is more than bravado, say veterans. It may help as evidence after a Real has been arrested or even committed to a mental health hospital for evaluation. That happened to Mr Invisible’s equally short-lived predecessor, Black Owl, who last summer had to be sprung from a psychiatric ward by his teenage daughter who told doctors: “Dad forgot for a moment, when faced with police, just for a moment, that he did not have real superpowers. He could not just fly away.”

“This is a more serious business than it looks,” said Citizen Prime, whose $4,000 (£2,700) costume disguises an Arizona businessman and father of a toddler who thinks his cape, mask and stun-gun are cool.

Prime patrols some of the most dangerous streets in Phoenix but, like most Reals, is reluctant to speak about the villains he has dispatched with a blow from his martial arts-honed forearm. He does admit helping a motorist change a flat tyre.

“Kids love the costume, so I seek to keep them out of the gangs today rather than take them on tomorrow,” said Prime who, at 41, regards himself as on the mature wing of the Real community.

He is worried about lunatics and hotheads. He says he would never act like the Black Monday Society in Salt Lake City who interrupt drug deals in public parks and face off against armed thugs.

Utah police officers say they appreciate Ghost, a 33-year-old concrete worker, and his colourfully costumed cohorts Insignis, Oni, Ha! and Silver Dragon. But other police departments recall that America’s most feared gangs, the Crips and the Bloods, were also born as idealistic “community defenders”.

It can be dangerous. Master Legend of Florida, who arms himself with a pepper-spraying cannon powered by cans of antiperspirant, was attacked by a man with a hammer.

There is a high burn-out rate. Terrifica, a 5ft 9in redcaped superheroine, who would manhandle drunken girls away from heavy-handed dates in nocturnal New York, spoke about how she despised her “weak, needy and dumped” alter-ego Sarah.

Artemis of San Diego reported on his blog that he had heard a woman screaming outside his home but by the time he had dressed up in his costume the police were already there. Kevlex, 47, who runs the Superhero Registry, says he patrols more in winter than summer in Arizona, when his Kevlar and Spandex kit itches. But the deadliest kryptonite against a superhero is boredom.

“I was out every night, 8pm until 2am, hanging about all the bad corners and nothing happened, nada, zip,” recalled Mr Invisible. “It was raining: even the drug dealers were at home. And often cops are just too good at their jobs.”

By anonymous• 30 Dec 2008 01:15
anonymous

brutus_ceasar

Is time to bring the modern Romans to the league of super heroes.

1-The coveralls will be made of aluminum soda can caps stitch together like a medieval chain mail, In the style conforming the classical toga.

2-The safety helmet will be a baby toilet seat cover, no olive leaves.

3-The footwear will be discard license plates folded around your feet.

4-The work gloves will be sheets of newspaper wrap around your hands.

5- The job description will be a simple one, you will direct all traffic around the work site.

While I sit my fat butt inside the air condition cab of the backhoe, while shouting at you:

Hey Boy!

Could you face the other way? The reflection of the sun rays, bouncing from your toga chain mail IS BLINDING US!

Dracula

Quit leaning to my left shoulder AND SHUT-UP you are a bat and not some parrot on steroids.

heero_yuy2

Go fetch ME some water nature boy!

LOL

By heero_yuy2• 29 Dec 2008 20:37
heero_yuy2

See the description of all the details of the uniform he proposed on me?

Talked about being 'heroic' to nature...

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By britexpat• 29 Dec 2008 20:28
britexpat

The sunglasses do that. Ok, I'll let you wear Sebago's on your feet ..

By heero_yuy2• 29 Dec 2008 20:08
heero_yuy2

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By Dracula• 29 Dec 2008 16:11
Dracula

Brutus needs a target to practice backstabbing :)

By britexpat• 29 Dec 2008 15:08
britexpat

Joing the "S.H.I.T's (Super Heroes In Tights) is no cake walk. This is a pretty unique club and there's lots of work to do in the evenings.

Since you are Brutus Ceasar, you can wear a Toga instead of Tights and join the group.

By brutus_ceasar• 29 Dec 2008 14:21
brutus_ceasar

RP.... me me me..... how about me.. I want to be a superhero too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

By anonymous• 29 Dec 2008 13:33
anonymous

LOL RAY BANS.....

By anonymous• 29 Dec 2008 13:30
anonymous

We need the Filipino influence to join the league of super heroes.

Your Uniform will be the following:

1-Your head cover will be a dry coconut shell split in half.

2-Your coveralls will be the long banana leaves covering the body from front to rear.

3-The waist belt will a package rope wrap around the waist that your rich neighbor discard it.

4-Your footgear will be a one liter plastic soda cut in half, the shoe laces will be palm leaves laced in a zig zag pattern.

5-The job description assigned to you will be 'The water boy.'

Don't forget the clean cups in your hands, every 30 minutes, while I sit my fat butt inside the air condition cab of the backhoe, while shouting at you:

Hey Boy!

Could you fetch water faster for that poor Britexpat?

================================

Dracula

You could hang out with me, upside down of course inside the cab. Don't worry, I got Dark tinted windows all around the cabin windows. You already got to many uniforms and disguises, so wear what ever you want. Don't bite me or I'll have to sacrifice you, to the sun....

Do I see a coconut falling in your head?

By Harry99• 29 Dec 2008 10:35
Harry99

You forgot the Ray Bans to complete the uniform.

By Dracula• 29 Dec 2008 08:26
Dracula

By heero_yuy2• 28 Dec 2008 23:44
heero_yuy2

A pope, a British, and a vampire on a league to 'fight crime' in Doha.

It must be the curry...

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By Dracula• 28 Dec 2008 23:35
Dracula

By heero_yuy2• 28 Dec 2008 23:32
heero_yuy2

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By anonymous• 28 Dec 2008 09:37
anonymous

I got the perfect custom for you Mr. briteexpat:

One blue oversize coverall,

One reflective vest,

One pair of chinese sandals,

One hard hat and pair of cloth gloves.

Don't forget the shovel in your hands, while I sit my fat butt inside the air condition cab of the backhoe, while shouting at you:

Hey English Boy!

Could you dig faster?

You bloody bastard!

LOL

You got Confessions today

By britexpat• 28 Dec 2008 09:05
britexpat

Sorry , I had to re-read your posting a couple of times. Thank goodness you said "backhoe".

I'm already working on my "Utility belt" and the sequined insignia on the blue overalls.

I'm so excited about our partnership and ofcourse the difference we'll make in the city..

By britexpat• 28 Dec 2008 08:29
britexpat

We'd make a great team...

Fatman and Boy Blunder...Roaming the streets of Doha. Fighting crime. Rescuing stray cats. Filling in potholes...

I'll start working on my costume..

By anonymous• 28 Dec 2008 08:13
anonymous

I would prefer to work part time as a super cop, with a super chase car pulling to the side all those jerks in the roads of Qatar.

My super infraction books would be full with all kind of data and infractions.

I probably would be hated with a death wish, cast on my character, for excessively accumulating revenues for the state or just simply causing jealousy for doing my job in a very clean and efficient way, by those play boy cops in the roundabouts.

Don't worry Britexpat you will my partner.

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