Best excuses for not going to work

MrsTimebandit
By MrsTimebandit

From
http://msn.careerbuilder.co.uk/Article/MSN-66-Workplace-Issues-15-Excuse...

"I'm too drunk to drive to work."

"I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet."

"I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work." (Employee was not in the medical profession.)

"I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened."

"My boyfriend's snake escaped from its cage and I'm afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home."

"I'm too fat to get into my work outfit."

"God didn't wake me." (Employee didn't believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.)

"I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor."

"The ghosts in my house kept me up all night."

"I forgot I was getting married today."

"My cow bit me."

"My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our garden. His foot fell in and we can't get it out."

"I was walking down the street watching road works being done, fell in the hole and hurt myself."

"I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back."

"My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in."

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:57
Pajju

Yes Jervis cheers :P :)

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:53
Pajju

Jervis TGTT :)

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:50
Pajju

jervis so u mean I am Mod ? :P

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:48
Pajju

Jervid did u learn how to feed trolls now ?

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:47
Pajju

lobot John abraham was model gucci once .. he is from paris or india ?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:44
anonymous

pajju, calvien klein made in india?

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:41
Pajju

lobot yes i am model of calvin klein .. did u see advt?

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:39
Pajju

Jervis kid is always kid

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:39
anonymous

jervis

in could be a contraction of a model....model pajju

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:33
anonymous

mod pajju is hijacking the thread...admin supposedly a model on this forum...

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:31
anonymous

gay sex is haram my friend pajju...thank you

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:29
Pajju

yes in india gay sex allowed .. u wanna change ur passport? :P

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:27
anonymous

Ok marie PM me your full name, next time I go to India, I will get you your death certificate then you can take permanent vacations from office by submitting that.

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:26
anonymous

lol pajju...maybe you can find more gays on your country...

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:26
Pajju

from were in india ? :P

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:23
anonymous

i have dysmenorrhea ;-)

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 17:22
marie_2

i just came from india sandeep, too late for that.... just give me another certificate

...listen to the sound of silence....

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:21
Pajju

no my gal frined wont allow to go with gays

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:20
anonymous

ok pajju bhai dont worry i will come to city center tommorow early in the morning...do you want to come with us?

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 17:16
marie_2

hahaha.. sandeep. that was you? no wonder. well, thank you for getting out, coz i must not be late tonight

...listen to the sound of silence....

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:15
Pajju

lobot u said u want to go tommorrow city centre .. ho camu ur back home ?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:15
anonymous

marie come to India. I will get you your death certificate delivered in your hands..

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 17:13
marie_2

sandeep, they should ask you to present a medical certificate as proof of that alibi.hehehe

...listen to the sound of silence....

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:13
anonymous

pajju my habibi...i am bachelor in doha, back home i am married...

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:12
anonymous

I have used appendix a lot. I must have had 12 operations to remove appendix till date. Came in handy to get not just 1 day off but 2-3 days in a row.

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 17:10
Pajju

u troll u start thread this morning that ur bachlor !!! u know that from wher u get life ?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:06
anonymous

my wife and i are too much tired this morning...sorry i cannot come to work.

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 17:00
anonymous

I was just getting jealous of all the people complaining about excess weight so couldn't help but poke my nose in to tell them that their are people like me as well who want to put on some weight :(

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 16:58
Pajju

sandee hijack ? did i did ? or u did ? :P

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:56
anonymous

Pajju I said enough Hijack!!!!!

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 16:55
Pajju

5 kilo what ?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:54
anonymous

I am willing to take 5 kilos each from all the four posters before me, if only it was possible :(

Anyway enough hijack. Back to the topic.

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:51
anonymous

************************************

I'm Jack's complete lack of surprise

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:46
anonymous

How to put on weight??????

I have been trying unsuccessfully for a decade now :(

By snessy• 12 Nov 2009 16:41
snessy

Marie, it's typical to be in early when the boss is late, never happens the other way round though!

MrsTimebandit/Jervis, remember... a minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips!

*If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all*

By MrsTimebandit• 12 Nov 2009 16:37
MrsTimebandit

LOL Jervis.......I like! I must remember to adopt the 'laundry accident' (aka 'wardrobe malfunction') approach the next time I have a midnight feast..

If Timebandit is reading this he will now be scurrying around hiding the chocolate......:)

'Up there for thinking....down there for dancing.'

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 16:37
Pajju

marie danx

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 16:35
Pajju

snessy a lil nap :)

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:35
anonymous

Ok marie I will get out of your house, you go to office on time now.

By nephi2kph• 12 Nov 2009 16:34
nephi2kph

i forgot to sleep last nyt.nyaaaaaaaa

LBM for sure..

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 16:33
marie_2

snssy...my boss had ghosts too in his house so he was late.i was earlier by 5min.

...listen to the sound of silence....

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 16:31
marie_2

i did pajju...nice hair and beard.

...listen to the sound of silence....

By snessy• 12 Nov 2009 16:27
snessy

Marie, I'd still be scared, LOL

Oh ShahRukh, where you been?

*If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all*

By Pajju• 12 Nov 2009 16:25
Pajju

just imagine me ...

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 16:22
marie_2

lol... the ghost was too handsome snessy. would you leave early for work?

...listen to the sound of silence....

By snessy• 12 Nov 2009 16:05
snessy

Marie, if I had ghosts in my house, forget taking the day off, I would've gone in early ;-)

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 16:05
Rating: 2/5
anonymous

I can't think of excuses beforehand, I work best under pressure.

By marie_2• 12 Nov 2009 16:04
marie_2

the ghosts in my house kept me all night

...listen to the sound of silence....

By snessy• 12 Nov 2009 15:54
snessy

Ha Ha, I've had a couple of these days too..."I'm too fat to get into my work outfit."

By mjamille28• 12 Nov 2009 15:29
mjamille28

whatever.. we do lock our doors at night :P

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 15:28
anonymous

No, mjamille28. I am Don Juan de Marco and I must keep my doors open all the time.

By mjamille28• 12 Nov 2009 15:27
mjamille28

Boston, do you not lock your doors at night?

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 15:22
anonymous

a colleague of mine once told me the same answer....ohhh i was too drunk to come yesterday!!!! and she made that innocent face,,,,so i thought how can a girl , be so guilty , and admit it , yet she looked so innocent..later i knew the answer...it's the mix of tequila and soft white skin...:D

************************************

I'm Jack's complete lack of surprise

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 15:15
anonymous

You lock yourself inside the house, mjamille28? Why?

By mjamille28• 12 Nov 2009 15:14
Rating: 2/5
mjamille28

Boston, i would still be inside the house when i "accidentally flush" my keys down the toilet and i am locked up inside.. there is no way im going out from the balcony.. :P

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 15:13
anonymous

LBM - LOST in BOWEL MOVEMENT or LOOKING for BETTER MANAGEMENT

By MrsTimebandit• 12 Nov 2009 15:07
MrsTimebandit

Thanks Jervis......

my personal favourite is being too fat to fit into a uniform! Presumably they wore the outfit to work the day before - so what happened? Did they stay up all night eating doughnuts??!!

'Up there for thinking....down there for dancing.'

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 15:05
anonymous

You still could come to work, mjamille28. You'd only have a problem when you get back home. So, it's no excuse for not coming to the office!

By mjamille28• 12 Nov 2009 15:02
Rating: 4/5
mjamille28

""I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet." -- in my case, it would have to be my house keys.. ;)

By anonymous• 12 Nov 2009 14:59
anonymous

The first one is the only one I would accept from my employee.

By Don Robert• 12 Nov 2009 14:59
Don Robert

I found a new job

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