The Chance(or Choice) of Growing Old Together

Interesting.....

Married for 70 years, couple die minutes apart

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/Married-for-70-years-couple-die-minutes-apart/articleshow/17288032.cms

You are both right to a degree. As PQ said it depends on who you are married to and how you yourself are as a spouse and person, and how strong your love and commitments are, that will determine if your marriage can survive traumatic trials or not.

Again I think of my parents. They were married for nearly 30 years, but stayed unhappily together solely for the sake of us kids. So the moment I married and had my daughter(I was the last one of my siblings to get married) my mom called it quits, and divorced my dad. Though many people, including the judge, tried to convince her to do otherwise, she was determined not to spend the rest of her life married to the man she didn't love anymore(mind you, their's was a love marriage).

An aunt of mine on the other hand, though she married purely to please her parents to a man she didn't really love, the death of their child and monetary difficulties, actually strengthened their relationship and the two of them are still together in much better times now.

Truly marriages, that depend largely on changing human emotions, are unpredictable.

No couples aren't only together for the children. What I'm saying is a traumatic loss, or a traumatic situation LIKE the death of a child can strain or tear apart even the strongest marriage.

MissM, are you saying that most of the couple are together because of the children? There are numerous childless couples who live together for yrs and taking care of each other. A child is no way going to live with us forever. It’s our spouse who understands and cares us no matter what. Moreover, if you are married at an early age they get wiser together that itself is bliss. All this is true only if you are married to the right person.

It's all the partners' choice which keeps them together,through thick and thin, tied with the everlasting bond of love!only love and true love!

Blessed are those who get such a chance.

Some couples do get closer Khanan, but I've also seen couples drift apart because they can't cope. Or one blames the other.

Marriage is only a Legal Contract, like Brit Said "It's a Choice", But then again, i have seen my parents happily together after 40 yrs of their Marriage, They have had lots & lots of ups & downs, but yet again the Love between them was Strong as ever, Mind You "It was a Arrange Marriage" but it was their "Choice"...

I am not Married as yet, So can't say "How it feels" to be Husband & Wife...

Chances and choices are both comes with destiny. Life provides us with several chances to grab the opportunity, its all in our hands to make a perfect choice.

Life is a journey of continuous learning experiences, where couples mature every day and work hard for long lasting relationship.

It's a choice. It cannot be a chance.

http://www.feniaz2011.webs.com/

link to the source please :)

Agree Miss Mimi with first paragraph of your post.

But couldn't understand the example. Death of child coz of negligence of either partner or natural death.

I have seen married couples getting more close after a such tragedy of similar nature.

Can a happy-ever-after love story happen in real life, or does it only exist in the confines of a fairy tale book? The truth is, people can fall in love in an instant, but staying in a relationship is the difficult part. A lot of people fall out of love when the ‘steam’ evaporates, or when their partner fail to live up to their expectations. Staying in a relationship can be a bit challenging and often times difficult. This is why there are a lot of failed and broken relationships in all parts of the globe.

In order to have a lasting relationship we must follow these golden rules:

Fall in love wisely and choose a partner well. Never confuse attraction and pleasure in sex as love especially in the beginning of a relationship. Take time to get to know your prospective partner and evaluate him based on his personality, values, spirituality and relationship with others.

Learn how to manage differences. Every individual is unique and thus you cannot expect to always agree on everything. Agree to disagree on certain matters with complete acceptance of each other’s point of view. Disagreements will not poison your relationship, but the negative feelings that are brought about by avoiding conflicts and not managing your differences will.

Communicate your needs clearly. Do not expect your partner to ‘guess’ what your needs or wants are. Failing to practice honest and open communication can lead to unnecessary disappointments and bitterness for expecting your partner to fulfill your unstated needs. Remember, your partner is not a mind-reader.

Learn to engage in deep conversations. While going out on movies or concerts together are a fun way to build intimacy, having a meaningful conversation can further deepen your bond. Take time to talk about your personal dreams, hopes, goals and even fears.

Be the safe haven to your partner. Be the one who your partner can turn to and take comfort when things are rough for him or her. Be a shoulder to cry on, be your partner’s refuge and strength, and be the voice that says everything will be alright.

Keep the love and passion burning. Don’t let the stress of life or any external disturbances take toll on your relationship. Laugh together, hold hands, cuddle, kiss and make love. Express your love in every way you can, from cooking your partner’s favorite meal to surprising him with little gifts.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is difficult. There is a truth in the saying that staying in a relationship is a deliberate choice you have to make every day. If you follow the guidelines for a healthy and lasting relationship, it will make it easier for you to make that choice and perhaps you too can have your happy-ever-after in real life.

couldn't agree more.

one time or another, marriage can be as tragic as it can be. surpass the tragedy and conquer the pain, live happily.

I think its a mixture of both. It's a matter of choice, in that you decide to work out problems rather than quitting on the marriage, but its also a matter of chance that you don't end up in a situation your marriage can't survive.

I keep thinking of the death of a child as an example. Many marriage, understandably, don't survive the death of child, no matter how dedicated the couple was to staying together.

Your welcome,hon...and thanks for the sweet compliment!

Targus: Thank you so much!

you never fail to impress me. :) thanks for that.

It is lovely, but got to consider the opportunity cost..

@FathimaH..Nice touch in the end..

Judging by how fickle human emotions can be,and the way even couples who have even been married/living together for years have all of a sudden decided to split up and part ways, I'd say the whole act of growing old together, happily and still in love, would be a huge blessing indeed.

Personally I prefer to concentrate on the here and now, how I can better my marriage and indeed myself, and leave the future of my relationship to God and what He decrees to be best for me.

thanx BM thats i seriously believe in :-)

thanx for the vote of confidence .... share ur expierence too ;-)

"chances will be better if u make wise choices" :-)

i love that line. :P

i think its matter of choice ... too ... these days every thing is matter of life n death , ego , self respect , n dont know what other terms come up wen one is fighting with spouses....

chances will be better if u make wise choices :-)

khanan i agree , btw it will be 7 years in march InshAllah and counting :-)

IT'S BOTH, BY CHANCE AND BY CHOICE

i hear you dear. :)

it's not a easy ride but a save arrival is awaiting :)

9 y and counting up for 12 wich is a turnpoint the say

Got your point Cherru. :)

I married my husband after spending almost 8 years of being boyfriend-girlfriend. I thought I've known him so well being together that long. But then, as long as you haven't shared the same roof together, you'll never know.

I'm glad we're coping and I can say, still staying in-love with each other, despite all thing we've been through. :)

My hopes are with you. :)

Growing together is not in our hands to say it a choice.

Spot on Khanan.

TB, companionship is as well part of loving someone. *wink*

As I bare my soul...........

BM - too much choice and now I realise it was the wrong type of choice. Never too late.......

i suddenly remember how my grandma shed tears every birthday and death anniversary of my grandfather, he died 30 years ago but still, she's so in love with him. ^_^

yup..it indeed is not an easy ride.

but its part and parcel of married life.

Why do you say so? enlighten us further please. :)

Would tell us what happened to the 4Xs?

Chance and not a choice.

but old couples started as young couples as well. :P

Aameen.

A touching post - I am trying with number 5

*old couples stay together for reason of no other choice:

*young couples part their ways for reason of lots of choice!

:)

wud agree with bubbly and storm

i remember one time my niece asked me: "Do they really live happily after they got married? Is there a book 2?"

I don't know what to answer. :P

they say passing the 7 year challenge is an achievement.

We'll conquer ours by December. :)

agree! :)

fairy tales usually ends at "n thy live happily ever after" then starts the real life ..... we all can stay happily ever after on day to day basis..... n i have learnt from my parents ups and downs in couple's life is a common scenario ... what really matters is at the end of the day u guys r together n happy .... n i would love to see my kids my grand kids with my husband ..ameen

a touch post!

8 years and counting insha'Allah :)

Thnks for sharing good topic It depends on both partners choice not by chance to be together on all kinds of situations with ups and down but still to be together till end

Thanks. Me here looking up and forward to a happy ending myself. I've gone so many pains as well (from gloomy to bubbly). And now i'm just learning to focus on the straightforwardness of things. Being thankful for what i have today and what God will provide me tomorrow. :)

Old couples in love are adorable :) more like they're in harmony with each other, n completely used to each other's company. might 've gone thru mountain loads of hardships, but if that brings em closer, it's worth it. such companionship is more of a choice, but certainly pushed froward 10 paces if by chance they're more compatible.

Thank you. (: ur so kind.

Ur post is so touchy...may be bring the memories back for many of us. (:

TFS.

i'm praying for that "Y". :)

I planned the same with my X but I am gonna have a lovely Y ..Inshallah. (:

Yeah...Problems which were very big ones look nothing at this stage...lessons learnt and waiting for the flight to board...forgiveness acceptance becomes very easy..

For some couples it is a chance and for some its their choice and I am sure those who chose this for themselves would surely have happy ending.