CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED (come on! Let's have a laugh for a change!)

jauntie
By jauntie

NOTE: You will probably have to know your Christmas Carols/Songs to understand this one!

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - - - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

By anonymous• 21 Dec 2007 11:15
anonymous

There is a christmas song that goes like

'When Joseph went to Bethlehem'

I think he took great care

To place his tools and close his shop

and leave no shavings there.

When Joseph WOULDN'T GO to Bethlehem is the twisted Xenophobic version

By Mom_me• 21 Dec 2007 11:14
Rating: 4/5
Mom_me

Here is something to keep you entertained Jauntie ;

Sleep Disorder (Insomnia) -

'O Come, All Ye Faithful'

O come, all ye faithful,

Joyful and triumphant,

O come ye, O come ye to Starbucks...

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 22:11
jauntie

oh yessss I DO remember how repetitive that Chorus was when we sang it at Christmas at School.

In fact! I sang in the alto section and the only word(s) we had to sing WERE Halleluja! over and over and over on the same note!!!

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By Mom_me• 20 Dec 2007 22:05
Rating: 4/5
Mom_me

No.10 (Another soul) - Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia......

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 21:59
jauntie

Is that sad, or what.

Where's all the people who know Christmas songs for Gawdsake!!! Or at least someone who does cryptic crosswords .... that would help ..

*sigh* I'm wasted here :/

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By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 21:55
jauntie

16. Cryophobia (fear of extreme ice or frost) --- Frosty the snowman was a jolly scary bloke

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By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 21:43
jauntie

hehehe

Come on then, give us a No. 16 :P

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By Cornellian• 20 Dec 2007 21:39
Cornellian

It's even funnier when u know what all those disorders are and what they mean lol. But now I feel guilty for laughing at those less fortunate...grrr...

I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong :P - Garfield

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:51
jauntie

called 'when Joseph wouldn't go to Bethlehem'?

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By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:49
jauntie

15. Xenophobia (racist?) --- I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

the description of the phobia is supposed to relate to a christmas song - in a jokey way lol (but you know that, don't you - you naughty boy, you - teasing me like this ;) tsk tsk)

I give up ...

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By anonymous• 20 Dec 2007 19:39
Rating: 4/5
anonymous

No. 15) Xenophobia... When Joseph wouldn't go to Bethelhem

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:32
jauntie

I'd prefer the theme was Christmas Songs ..

Oh! Just realised that Twinkle Twinkle is a Nursery Rhyme duh

But your No.12 - let it go - was GREAT (and in keeping with the theme)

Oh well OK - keep going, but I shall try to keep the Christmas song theme ..

For instance:

15: Hadephobia (fear of Hell) --- No 'ell, No 'ell, No 'ell, No 'ell ..

:D

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By anonymous• 20 Dec 2007 19:19
anonymous

that way nursery rhymes are fair game

and no.14 can be

vertigo... Jack and Jill didn't go up the hill...

Actually have you heard this version of the popular nursery rhyme?

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water

God knows what they did up there

but came down with a daughter...

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:19
jauntie

14. Zoophobia ... Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer has a contract out on me!

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By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:06
jauntie

Best one yet for 12!

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By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 19:05
jauntie

13. claustrophobia --- Good King Wenceslas got let out, on the Feast of Stephen - Cos he was screaming the place down!

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By anonymous• 20 Dec 2007 19:04
anonymous

Absolutely hilarious

another one for 12)

incontinence... Let it go, Let it go, Let it go...

By knoxcollege• 20 Dec 2007 18:56
knoxcollege

No disrespect to anyone, but No. 11 does sound great.

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 18:52
jauntie

What could be No. 12 I wonder ....

12. Incontinence --- Tinkle Tinkle little star

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By anonymous• 20 Dec 2007 18:46
anonymous

Maybe you should add no. 11 to the list...

11. Amnesia... Chestnuts roasting on a... hey where are the chestnuts?

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 18:40
jauntie

I think you do! lol

Even if you are unfamiliar with the first lines of the carols/songs I think the desciption of the disorders kind of gives a hint to the intended joke n'est pas?

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By anonymous• 20 Dec 2007 18:36
anonymous

Actually no... I didn't get it... can you explain in detail all ten of them...

By jauntie• 20 Dec 2007 18:34
jauntie

Jingle alllll the way!

tra la la

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By diamond• 20 Dec 2007 18:24
Rating: 5/5
diamond

Yup, you are disturbed. But then, I already knew that ;)

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_______________________________________________________

Love is the answer...

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