Cows & Politics Explained

DUBAI CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a
" Cow City
" or " Milk
Village " for them.
You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and
shady investors who hope to re -sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in
two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract media
attention.

SHARJAH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell them to an investor in Dubai
. The cows get stuck in traffic between Sharjah to Dubai and die. You have zero cows now.

ABUDHABI CORPORATION:

You have two cows. So what? We have Oil.

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one
to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives
it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who
tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The
people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it
to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells
you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes
you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes
them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force
the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the
cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because
you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they
are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and
market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They
die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn
you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting
cows and
open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and
the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people
milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They
open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie
rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who
needs
people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.