The Daily Humorscope
Posted on a website by v wheeler
want to share it with QL
Aries (March 21 - April 19) Everyone you work with will bring
Kim Chee for lunch, today. They're just doing it to be difficult. Taurus
(April 20 - May 20) Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can
stand -- tomorrow will be ugly. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) You will be
"on the move", soon. Especially movements of a gastrointestinal nature, as it
turns out. Good day to stay close to home. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) An
elderly gentleman next to you on the bus will spontaneously combust, today, and
you'll become an instant celebrity when you put him out with a Slurpee (tm).
Eventually, they'll make a prime-time TV drama about the incident. Leo (July
23 - August 22) You will make people squirm, today. Surprisingly, some of
them will show remarkable talent at squirming. Virgo (August 23 - September
22) Don't forget your towel, today. I usually find I'm less likely to forget
things, if I wrap them around my head.
Everyone has their own mnemonic tricks, though. Libra (September 22 -
October 22) Hmm. Hard to read this one. The carrot stopped right between
"catches horrible disfiguring disease" and "loses everything in major
earthquake." I guess you can pick whichever one you want, in this case.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) Good day to examine your cuticles. If you
do that studiously enough, I'm quite sure nobody will realize you're not paying
any attention. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) In a surprising
twist, the failure of another large London-based bank will be blamed on you,
today. C'est la vie, non? Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) You will
declare war on drugs, today, and will glare menacingly at your pharmacist.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18) Today is the second-to-last day, of the
19th segment of your life. Time to learn to appreciate tofu (bean curd).
Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Time for an
excursion! Remember to pack some sandwiches, and carry a large ball of twine
(it's easy to get lost in the city -- the twine should help).
