decision making....

owen
By owen

Why is it sometimes you are torn in deciding, especially if it will hold your lifetime happiness and you no longer trust yourself whether you will decide for common good or you will have the right decision….

Lately, I am pondering things ‘bout my life, having to decide on something….why is it for every decision, consequences are attached to it? And why is it for every decision, someone has to be hurt and suffer from it?..if only…just if only…

Making any sense? I know I don’t (like i always do..:( )…just sharing some thoughts that have been consuming my energies the past days and probably will for the time being until I have my final decision…

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 23:42
owen

i understand what you are saying mom scarlett...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By Scarlett• 17 Oct 2007 17:55
Scarlett

talk to someone who is outside the situation..sometimes their viewpoints aren't as skewed as yours towards the outcome and can see past the previous hurts. Especially someone that has been around a LOT longer than you have and experienced life's traumas and joys. You know what I am talking about...

By aratchhb• 17 Oct 2007 17:49
aratchhb

most important to believe that everything will happen .happend for a reason and all we came to that world for a reason to go ahead and dont be afraid only from the death.

and about ur decision that already writen before u come to that worlk and GOD know about it so keep walking and u will get ur target,

keep smilling and believe in ur self that u can do it ,

[img_assist|nid=30553|title=Twin|desc=happeness comes only once dont miss it|link=none|align=left|width=440|height=368]

By angel_eyes• 17 Oct 2007 17:41
Rating: 2/5
angel_eyes

For every decision you are going to make, always believe that what you have decided is good for you.. Now, who knows what's good for you and how would you know its the right decision?? You're the only one who knows and you can feel it, have trust in yourself. If you free your mind from guilt and ready to face the outcome then you know its the right one.

I know its really difficult but take a step forward everyday to gain your courage and dont forget to pray. GOD will give the desires of your heart and what you deserve... ;)

[img_assist|nid=28861|title=believe and u will see...Life is as simple as we make it complicated|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=122|height=180]

By King Edshel• 17 Oct 2007 14:44
Rating: 5/5
King Edshel

the ones based on emotions ... it should be related somehow to your real life. So it can't be completely based on emotions, try to read between the lines.

I guess that you had to decide between two, so put those two against each other and list the cons and pros of each one. Come up with a separate conclusion about each one alone, then compare the two conclusions. Don't compare it as, if I say yes here what would happen and if i said yes on the other side what would be the consequences.

Just isolate the two matters and don't let them mixed up, so the decision that you have to take won't be effected by other irrelevant thoughts.

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 14:30
owen

you already did alexa, i do appreciate your sincerity and everyone who commented in here...

just bear with me, as i would always revive this thread...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By the black prince• 17 Oct 2007 14:27
the black prince

Owen, we all would love to help as we all know this problem, hope our advice and the fact that we listened helped..........good luck.....and keep your head, things do get better.

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 14:18
owen

alexa, apologies also for making this a fuss...don't worry i am in touch with close friends to guide me on this...difficult just simply difficult..and i know for a fact that irregardless of everyone will say..in the end its my call...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 14:00
owen

i no longer know what is correct (that's a bummer, i know)...i have made several wrong decisions before and im afraid i might do that again..

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By Maria.m• 17 Oct 2007 13:58
Maria.m

Why don't you make a list of pros and cons. Reflect on the list and that will help you achieve the outcome you wan't.

I am sorry to see you in such a dilemma.

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 13:58
owen

maria.m i did that already, am updating it every now and then...its not like today that i have to decide...but it's just that it is consuming me day by day...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By skdkak closed 1708224867• 17 Oct 2007 13:57
skdkak closed 1708224867

I started with IF WHAT YOU THINK IS CORRECT... I stressed on your decision being correct and then if that hurts someone.. u got to take that decision.

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 13:56
owen

what is better for me? i am thinking takin in all the pain rather than making a decision and seeing other be in pain...

KE...setting aside the emotion? when the source of this decision making is because of this darn emotion..where majority of the decision i should make lies on it..

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By skdkak closed 1708224867• 17 Oct 2007 13:47
Rating: 3/5
skdkak closed 1708224867

I will only comment on your quot, ""And why is it for every decision, someone has to be hurt and suffer from it?""

If what you think is correct and it hurts someone. That hurt will be for some time only and in rare cases the hurt will remain till eternity.

It is better to let other get hurt by some actions of yours than you constantly and daily being hurt by not acting accordingly. Now, what is better for you - your hurt or the hurt of other's.

By King Edshel• 17 Oct 2007 13:42
Rating: 5/5
King Edshel

natural to feel this way especially when it comes to take serious decision in life. Sometimes, one decision could change the face of everything that you know. Bringing good or bad results, consequences would always be there. Try to clear your mind of any doubts about the decision, try to isolate all the fears and factors that won’t help in deciding and look at it like that.

Sometimes saying 'Yes' would be hard with all of the surrounding factors supported by tired mind and old fears and hang-ups. It can be in front of you and simple as saying only 'Yes' if you can isolate all of these factors. Considering the future sequences according to what you can see now is a must, but don't overdo it. Otherwise you would never say yes to anything, don't let your past hunt you. Set your emotions a side and use your mind, if both are tie and the pros as well as the cons are equal or tie. In that case, you should give your mind a break and let your heart decide...

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 13:36
owen

maria.m im doing that...but sometimes you cannot really dismiss the fact that sooner you got to have a decision...it's like im just prolonging the agony...and the more you dread that day..

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By the black prince• 17 Oct 2007 13:14
the black prince

Owen just to take you mind off it and change the mood, heres a nice poem to read and enjoy

If questioning would make us wise

No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;

If all our tale were told in speech

No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh

And love not bound in hearts of flesh

No aching breasts would yearn to meet

And find their ecstasy complete.

For who is there that lives and knows

The secret powers by which he grows?

Were knowledge all, what were our need

To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?.

By Maria.m• 17 Oct 2007 13:05
Maria.m

Owen, I would say procrastinate. In such a time avoid contemplating your decision. Do it on a day you feel cheerful, especially when it involves people getting hurt. Just sleep on it for a while.

By the black prince• 17 Oct 2007 13:03
the black prince

you know Owen making the tough decisions is a killer but you know sometimes I thought I screwed up making some decisions but looking back now, I didnt. Life has a way of correcting things, what may seem tough at the time you later laugh at and wondered why you worried so much.

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 12:57
Rating: 2/5
owen

yup you are logically right on that black prince...

just wish deciding things can be "undone" if you wish to, just like using computers, you can click on "undo" button should you realize that you have commanded on something that isn't suppose to be...and thing will be restored to original things..i know life isn't to be a trial and error..that would be unfair..but..but..sigh...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By the black prince• 17 Oct 2007 12:46
the black prince

Owen, thats the way of things..........if both parts agree....you wouldn't have the problem

By owen• 17 Oct 2007 12:43
Rating: 2/5
owen

my god...you just don't know guys how hard it is...mind and heart two conflicting parts directing to opposite decision...

[img_assist|nid=12867|title=Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.|desc= |link=none|align=left|width=44|height=180]

By the black prince• 17 Oct 2007 12:30
Rating: 5/5
the black prince

Listen to your heart, your brain will take in all the inputs for a decision to be made and then move on to the next decision, but your heart has to live with it forever. As Alexa said if it dont feel right inside dont do it...........wait and then look into your heart again...

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