Do you wanna D-A-T-E Britney Spears?

I didn't start a junior detective agency when I was 8 just for the mad women, I also did it because my powers of deduction are a gift and I owed it to the world to share me. I'm like a shaman. But don't thank me. The power doesn’t happen because of me, it happens through me. So with that in mind, I'm gonna go ahead and say with absolute certainty that Britney Spears wrote this ad on the craigslist personals. That's not an opinion, it's a fact.

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/w4m/451402307.html

"Hi guys. I’ve been feeling a little lonely recently and need a man to remind me I’m beautiful again. I’m not a BBW, but I have curves in all the right places ;)
I’ve come across hard times where people judge me rather than understand I’m going through a very hard time in my life right now. I need the stabilizing presence of a man again. I was once wildly in love, but that turned sour as our personalities clashed with each other. I’m really looking for a man that has a good head on his shoulders, a sense of humor and likes to go out.
Let’s just say I’m far more than stable financially, so I wouldn’t need a man to support me. I just need a kind man who won’t judge me … Just a man that wants to love me and my two little boys.
Then there some nights we should go out! Drive nice cars, go to clubs and restaurants. Live the good life.
It’s been so hard to find a man recently. Outside of being busy with my work, scrutiny and pressure have been getting to me. I need a man to help me get back on track."

Man, this is gonna work for sure. Soon, a handsome stranger with long hair and an unbuttoned shirt will whisk her away on his yacht, compliment her nails for 20 minutes and then wrap a silk blindfold over her eyes and feed her strawberries and champagne. OR, she's gonna get donkey punched in the back of a van by the Zodiac killer. Either way, she should go for it. I've got a good feeling.

Courtesy: Tyler Durden

Update : Above link on craigslist personals has been flagged for deletion (obviously!!!), but we got hands on the exact text that was posted on that site. ;)