ENGLISH IS WEIRD!

Motiv8er
By Motiv8er

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

By Cornellian• 6 Apr 2007 13:18
Cornellian

Ahhhh no more questions ! my brain ! lol, great post, i really enjoyed it ! :)

By Motiv8er• 6 Apr 2007 11:10
Motiv8er

something to think over..during lunch time :)))))

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?

If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit

while your ahead"?!

If they arrest the Energizer bunny would they charge it with battery?

Everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of us are out of

film.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause

kids.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

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Never Assume, it makes an Ass out of U & Me.

By han19• 6 Apr 2007 11:07
Rating: 4/5
han19

LOL......crazy read......will have lunch and be back again.

gypsy gal when you need to rest....you shudnt come to QL at all. nowadays it raises most stress levels instead of relaxing it.hope you are doing well.

this thread is very sane.

happy heart

drive safe because someone is waiting for you at home

By Gypsy• 6 Apr 2007 11:04
Gypsy

LOL Motiv8er, it reminds me of my days teaching English as a second language. It is quite clever, and I did enjoy it, headache or no. ;)

By Gypsy• 6 Apr 2007 11:04
Gypsy

LOL Motiv8er, it reminds me of my days teaching English as a second language. It is quite clever, and I did enjoy it, headache or no. ;)

By Motiv8er• 6 Apr 2007 10:57
Motiv8er

You shudn't have read it this early :) anyways take a break, have a KitKat. comeback later and read again. Good day 2u.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Never Assume, it makes an Ass out of U & Me.

By anonymous• 6 Apr 2007 10:56
anonymous

Is it a poem? Luks like the creators of english have screwed the language...

By Gypsy• 6 Apr 2007 10:48
Gypsy

It is far to early on a Friday for this kind of discussion. You're hurting my head. :P

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