extramarital relationship

sexydoctor
By sexydoctor

for a change i wanted to elicit peoples opinion on this sensitive topic

I was listening to sum radio station the other day when a caller mentioned that she was happily married to a very goodd man... they even have a daughter...

but she says last year she met a man who was ( and is) a very amazing wonderful person. a very handsome and very polished well bred cultured human. she confessed on the radio that she was falling in love with him and she also regretted why he hadnt ccome into her live before her marriage...

the point to be noted is, this lady has till date not confessed her feelings for this handsome dude... neither have they made out or had sex.... so technically this isnt an extra marital affair....

but she feels though her husband continues to dote on her and she seems happy she mentally feels drawn to the second guy....

i felt sorry for this lady.... ur comments.......

any ladies sailing in the same boat? why dont we fight over this issue for a change?:)

By anonymous• 16 Mar 2007 15:18
anonymous

Women want sex and men want sex but who asks for more??

Is the male a weakling vis-a-vis the female? Or is it the other way arnd?

Feelings in the sub-conscious mind have to be buried to ensure a long-term sustainable quality relationship...

Its just a state of mind....

By Angelo• 16 Mar 2007 14:42
Angelo

Agree with your post above, and the house at Al Fardan

By Don Corleone• 16 Mar 2007 14:24
Don Corleone

Women dont know ehat they want, and men only want sex. So until women start wanting sex as much as we do or men start focusing more on something else, there will always be cheating.

I always tell the truth, even when I lie

By sexydoctor• 16 Mar 2007 11:33
sexydoctor

your italian girl and 100 kisses had me rolling....

gud ones... keep them coming..

am happy to see the way this thread has shaped up

By Angelo• 16 Mar 2007 08:36
Angelo

*A letter from Husband to Wife:*

Dear Sweetheart,

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses...

You are my sweetheart.

Your husband

Allen.

*His Wife replied back after some days to her Husband:*

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.

3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.....

5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I Hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart.

By aryan• 15 Mar 2007 14:56
aryan

Hai SexyDoctor (SD), Come on, somehow I appreciate this lady having said that someone is very impressive, smart bla bla and liked him, that too frankly over a radio. Having gone too far,I am certain that she would have told her husband too on her experience. Where is tehnical or non-technical extra marital comes into this. Of course, you have every right to express your thoughts on this.

By honey• 15 Mar 2007 11:51
honey

so many fear there...just have the confidence! dont think too much..just do your best to love each other...

By honey• 15 Mar 2007 11:49
honey

cannot feed them with grass..too high :P

By anonymous• 15 Mar 2007 11:40
anonymous

May the one who has not sinned....cast the first stone.

If you even ( think about fornicating its a sin- According to Jesus in the BIBLE)

Ok ...Ok....Cast your seed...oops....Stone.

By armhie• 15 Mar 2007 10:48
armhie

Nice story.. and nice lesson as well..

The end, marriage cannot grow alone.. you have to nurture that (both parties) to make it grow stronger...

So goodluck..

By jrdebug• 15 Mar 2007 09:19
jrdebug

in reality, there will always come a time when you wake up and the air just isn't what it used to be. even if you have the most perfect marriage, there will be a time wherein you will find somebody who will look better than your spouse (in all aspects). now marriage is not just about love or trust but holding on. you may stumble at times and be attracted to another person. it's normal. but to completely entertain the thought and open your doors (and your legs! :) ) to another person is a totally different story.

in contrast to a statement above, there is no perfect marriage. it something both parties should really try to work out.

By anonymous• 14 Mar 2007 21:59
anonymous

As long as the woman is not a victim of abuse in the present relationship the choice is with her but a state of mind cant assume too much significance.... Patience and faith cant help oneself hold on.......

By Angelo• 14 Mar 2007 21:44
Angelo

Ok, guys listen up

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!"

The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"

"Which present?" She asked.

"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"

"Oh, that" she said

"Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl!!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent!

Good joke.

By Iguana• 14 Mar 2007 21:37
Iguana

i agree with you.....been there done that and after all thought about it......and all i have to say is:

Why can't the boys see the toys

That the girls want the boys to be

And why can't the girls see the world

That the boys want the girls to see

.....sade but true.......

By FatherTed• 14 Mar 2007 21:16
FatherTed

I am gettting sick of reading immature posts like the one by dweller, every thread I go to some idiot has to raise on objection to the original poster's thread. Believe it or not dweller but Extra-marital relationship is a very real part of our world, even in the middle east. If you can't discuss this maturely then please leave the thread for other members to discuss, ok? We don't need you parenting the forum for us.

As Gypsy said I believe, you would be surprised at just how many couples have relationships behind their partners back. I feel it is hard wired into most humans to behave this way unfortunately. I have heard from so many people how strongly they are against cheating, and next thing you know they are committing this sin! May god save us all!

By nicaq25• 14 Mar 2007 20:58
nicaq25

Just post your opinion,have your say...from here,you can get a bigger picture..of yourself, or other people's mind too:)

Just like...speaking your mind guys.

(but remember, "curiosity kills the cat").

Be cool!

By anonymous• 14 Mar 2007 20:50
anonymous

i think sexy doctor is the culprit ...hehe

By Don Corleone• 14 Mar 2007 20:34
Don Corleone

I will give my humble opinion through this small true strory:

A man says to his wife: You told me that you fell in love with me because i'm a rebel and i dont take life seriously and i live every day like its the last day and that you feel free whenever you're with me,

then you left me, why? because i'm a rebel and i dont take life seriously and i live everyday like its the last day and you dont feel free with me.

morale of the story, people change and girls dont know what they want. That same guy that she thinks she's falling in love with is actually her husband but 10 years before.

before you ladies jump on me for my comment, men cheat for 3 reasons: Sex, Sex and Sex, while women cheat because they think that the other guy will actually be different than their husband, but bottom line when they marry the other guy they will find out that he's the same man as their ex-husband. All men are the same, and i'm talking about normal, working ,loving men, no abusers and sex offenders or anything of this type.

I always tell the truth, even when I lie

By butterfly• 14 Mar 2007 18:51
butterfly

Why is everyone so offended by your name and choice of topic? I wonder.

I would tell this woman to pull herself together and deal with the fact that it is absolutely normal to feel a strong attraction for a man other than the one you are married to. It is naive and silly to think that attraction is "falling in love" and she should stop making a big deal out of it. So what, it means nothing for as long as she doesn't do anything stupid and stays faithful to her husband.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 18:31
sexydoctor

oops... azilana....i stand corrected....sorry for getting it rong...

thanks to everyone for the comments and feedback... i heard this lady on air froma a dubai based radio channel yesterday and it reminded me of a friend of mine...

she was very happy in life till she met this guy...

neways its good most people here on the forum believe in the institution of marriage....

if the foundation of marriage is strong and if the partner is understanding im sure even if you stray mentally you can always come back to an understanding spouse...

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By azilana7037• 14 Mar 2007 17:17
azilana7037

Familiar with these lines? Everyone goes thru that phase...She'll get over the "GUY" (no one's perfect, you know...)

By the way, minor correction...it's AZILANA..not ALIZANA

;-)

By charmed• 14 Mar 2007 17:06
charmed

now you have opened up a floodgate. they happen all the time unfortunatly - i use to work in pubs and clubs i know what goes on but hey thats the west - and to be honest im trying to think of how many people i know who havent carried on some kind of affair in life and i can count on one hand.

the lady in this situation is wondering what if.... easy to do and so easy to get carried away with - it sounds like she is fantasizing things in her head which she isnt getting in her marriage. But then i always say - you cant expect another person to make you happy and complete until you are happy and complete with who you are alone, she is expecting other people to make her happy! thats where she has gone wrong. be happy with yourself and then be happy with your lifelong partner

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 16:43
sexydoctor

I totally agree with you alizana...most relationships suffer becos one partner takes the other for granted and the relationship starts to decay slowly...

But in this case even if the attraction is physical or emotional, the sad fact is the lady is happily married... theres nothing wrong with her married life....

and suddenly she meets sumone who she feels wud have been a better husband... agreed she shudnt be feeling this way.... but there are several humans who live in so called healthy marriages and still look around....

wat say.....

On a totally unrelated note... Im happy many QL readers have actively participated in this thread and have given their opinions... lets use thiss forum to share ideas and learn rather than bicker and curse one another....

Though a few wise men ffelt this thread was tosh...??? the several responses i have got prove otherwise....

keep your comments coming....the nasty ones notwithstanding

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By azilana7037• 14 Mar 2007 16:27
azilana7037

The lady met this guy who was (and is) a very amazing wonderful person. a very handsome and very polished well bred cultured human(is he really?...good catch for any single ladies out there). Who wouldn't be attracted to the guy?

Instead of pitying her in her situation, why don't you look at it in a different perspective...

She may think that she's falling in love with him and/or regret the fact that the guy came to her life too late...believe me, she's NOT!!! She's attracted (or mentally drawn, as you put it) to the GUY because of the physical attributes and not the person himself. He excites her mentally, stimulates her emotions and makes her feel ALIVE AGAIN.

Oftentimes, MEN take their partners for granted. She's just HIS WIFE, THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN, HOUSEKEEPER, COOK, BEDMATE, LIFETIME PARTNER, etc. They seem to forget that they're sharing their life with a WOMAN who needs to be cared for, loved and be passionate with.

If you are married or in a relationship, maybe you might understand what I'm pointing out. But if you've been single or unattached for quite a while, you might disagree with me...I think. (No pun intended, I assure you)

By dragonfly212• 14 Mar 2007 15:28
dragonfly212

I agree with Gypsy totally. Nothing wrong to look on significant other as long as you don't act on it. Keep making your life colourful so you are not bored and commit suicide.

By armhie• 14 Mar 2007 15:27
armhie

Its not a relationship because there is NO MUTUAL CONSENT right?? Only the lady is having the wishful thinking, admiration...or maybe even LUST.. lol

Anyway, there is nothing wrong admiring somebody else even if you are married.. its normal (some are just in denial), of course, when you see some qualifications or attributes which you cannot find to your mate and found it to another person.. dont tell me.. you will not even think about her / him???

IT IS ACCEPTABLE, as long as SHE's NOT waisting her time, luring and admiring such 3rd party guy and making her husband a miserable life....and soon she'll fogot about it..

UNLESS otherwise, the 3rd party taking advantage of this situation. The FACT that most GUYS are even happy when somebody is admiring them, you know NO MALE SPECIES can say NO to it right??? hehehhe.. Of course, it additional points to their EGOISTIC CHARACTER...

But I hope, she can overcome that, just think about their reputations..

By ducky• 14 Mar 2007 15:05
ducky

first, i have no problem with sexydoctor's name. it's not a big deal

as for the topic - as long as it doesn't get out of control, why not discuss it.

so, the topic: the woman should just leave it alone. she's happily married but she's probably a bit bored. no doubt, life has become kind of routine and both the husband and wife need to do a little relationship nurturing.

I think everyone gets a rush from the possiblity of having an illicit relationship - we all have our fantasies but it's one thing to let imagination run wild, it's another to act on it. Ah, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, get out of my dreams and into my life! :-)

The woman doesn't even know if the man is interested in her. She has much to lose if she gives in to temptation. Not too many extramarital affairs turn out well. Let's put it this way, if the man IS interested in her, then he very well know's that she's married - not exactly the morals I seek in a man.

I would want to know just how well does she know him? People act differently in public and in private. Some people that I thought were great people to work with were actually insufferable after work hours when they had to put their social skills to work...and vice-versa.

How many times have you read the news concerning some crime only to have people say "but he/she seemed like such a nice person!".

To sum up: the woman should forget the other man and focus on making her marriage happier. she's just in a rut and needs to spice things up.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 14:52
sexydoctor

i totally agree with your observations... sadly the society we live in frowns upon people who even entertain the notion that there can be crushes and love in life beyond marriage...

surprisingly this lady who spoke on the radio says she hasnt even confessed to this guy...so the matter is actually not an extra marital affair but harbouring a soft corner for someone while you are still happily married....

when we look around we find many people caught in this catch 22 situation...

and about surgically removing the stick from a persons bottom yes.... its a good idea... im sure quite a few of QL readers will benefit....

keep the good ones coming....

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By bright eyes• 14 Mar 2007 14:47
bright eyes

I am a Filipina and i would like to say something about this ellicit affair. You know if you have respect for yourself and to the man you love there is no room for this kind of affair. ALL I CAN SAY THIS IS HARAM. And i strongly believe that, if you love GOD above all no matter what happened your LOVE TO GOD WILL PREVAIL. MAYBE YOU HAVE TO COLLECT YOUR THOUGHTS AND SUBMIT YOURSELF TO GOD BEFORE DOING ANYTHING THAT IS HARAM. THIS KIND OF EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONSHIP IS EVIL. THERE IS A SAYING THAT SPIRIT IS WILLING BUT THE FLESH IS WEAK.

By anonymous• 14 Mar 2007 14:47
anonymous

There is nothing wrong with sexydoctor's post at all. It is a completely valid discussion.

I think the point is do you the people believe that it is unfaithful to be unfaithful in mind only or does it have to be physical to count.

By the way I think the nickname (since that is what you are calling it) is good too. Are you kidding me? If I was a doctor I would definitely expect a bit of action off the back of it.

By Gypsy• 14 Mar 2007 14:28
Gypsy

Sexydoctor perhaps your next post for QL should be how to surgically remove a stick from ones a**

By armhie• 14 Mar 2007 14:25
armhie

we have our freedom of speech right??? so let "sexydoctor" post whatever she wants to say as long as it is not pointing to you..

Thanks and goodluck..

By Gypsy• 14 Mar 2007 14:22
Gypsy

Jeez people, calm yourselves. He was just starting a conversation, why jump down his throat? In NO way did he say he was interested in giving a medical opinion he just was to talk about a rather interesting topic.

Sexydoctor, I think what she is going through is perfectly natural. Just because you are in a marriage or commited relationship doesn't mean that you stop seeing other people as attractive or interesting, in fact I think having an unrequited and unacted upon crush on someone actually adds a little spice to the relationship because it makes you more attentive to the other person (cause you feel guilty).

The whole point is NOT acting on it. If you don't act on it there is no harm done.

By Sindbad in LoVe• 14 Mar 2007 14:16
Sindbad in LoVe

Before asking for people's respect,, just respect yourself and change ur nick, its disgusting to think that way .. sexydoctor!!

How did u first think about it?? and why??

Doctor is so respectable persons to all others, its an image that you are trying to destroy by ur nick ..

I am not asking for a fight or anything like that,, its that first time for me to comment on your nick inspite I saw it many times before but kept silent .. but its really driving me crazy..

Think about ur starnge nick again..

By Oryx• 14 Mar 2007 13:02
Oryx

Look no-one (so far) wants to discuss this with you.

Due 2 yr nick it is not a topic I wish to discss with you.

I didn't mention your qualifications but maybe you are misrepresenting yourself with this nic.

We are trying to tell you how you are being perceived take it as good advice as I am sure you hope people take your considered advice.

By Oryx• 14 Mar 2007 13:02
Oryx

Look no-one (so far) wants to discuss this with you.

Due 2 yr nick it is not a topic I wish to discss with you.

I didn't mention your qualifications but maybe you are misrepresenting yourself with this nic.

We are trying to tell you how you are being perceived take it as good advice as I am sure you hope people take your considered advice.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 11:47
sexydoctor

am not gonna humor u... lets discuss the topic...

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By anonymous• 14 Mar 2007 11:42
anonymous

It was better when you went away. I think that was a better choice. You may want to re tink your coming back to QL.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 11:32
sexydoctor

are we done discussing my name? any comments on the topic? for once truth had something to say on the topic and not on my qualifications... im happy.... looks like inspite of me being a hate figure we can get a discussion going here...lets build on this

lets discuss the topic and not hijack the thread...

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By Oryx• 14 Mar 2007 11:26
Oryx

No it is not about controversial- I think you are insensitve. Esp with your nickname..

If you really are a doctor I would wan't to go to one who equates their profession with their sexual attraction.

I would never use 'sexyteacher' it is just crass and unprofessional esp with a job where you are in a position of trust and are meant to protect, care and nuture.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 11:22
sexydoctor

this topic is very valid in todays society...

this will make all of us think...

if its controversial so be it

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By gypsy gal• 14 Mar 2007 11:15
gypsy gal

Why are you posting controversial issues? This will invite trouble to your already controvertial nick name..lol. I dont think people would like to discuss such issues in a public forum.

there may be exceptions... but majority of us dont respond to such posts.

My personal opinion is....only if they have a weak marriage... they get attracted to someone else. Otherwise their is no room for a third person in between the sweet & strong bonding between the husband & wife.

By sexydoctor• 14 Mar 2007 11:14
sexydoctor

now where did i rub you on the rong side?

Cant we guys just talk about issues? why this animosity towards me?

what is perverted about this posting?

why am i made out to be the object of hatred?

if you dont wanna indulge in a sane debate lets not vitiate the already featid atmosphere...

As long as you are trying hard, you are never failing....

The only failure is failing to try harder.....

By dweller• 14 Mar 2007 10:29
dweller

This is asolute tosh and a subject that a proper "doctor" wouldn't raise on a public forum.

Sounds to me as though you are very much a "pervert"!

By the truth 321• 14 Mar 2007 10:27
the truth 321

happen to anyone one of us.

Usual theories would suggest a failing in some part between the husband and wife relationship. If you truly love your partner of choice then you shouldnt stray.

We came we saw we were Qatarized

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