Fatwas we can all get behind
For the full list and descriptions (if you need them) of the 9 Islamic Fatwas that are actually a kick-ass idea, check out:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15951_9-islamic-fatwas-we-can-get-behind.....
otherwise:
Thou Shalt not speak while relieving yourself (therefore awkward urinal or under-the-stall gossip is out)
Thou shalt not play soccer (because it sucks)
Thou shalt not leave thy thighs uncovered, men only (no more speedos? Egads!)
Men shalt not wear silk
Thou shalt not participate in catch-and-release fishing, because it is the hight of douchebaggery
Thou shalt not read romance novels (and fabio should be destroyed)
Thou shalt shun pokemon (and all related japanese fuckery)
FYI: Oral sex is ok
and the weirdest and slightly creepiest of all:
Thou shalt be breastfed by female coworker and call her mommy.
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
This is an arabic link... apologies for those who do not read arabic
http://www.islamtoday.net/questions/show_articles_content.cfm?id=71&catid=73&artid=5632
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
oh c'mon.. now that you guys got me hooked on this fatwas.. :P
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Give me a break... A person can only do so much:)
On arabic links it goes beyond this and generalises to the full 4 or 5 years period to be acceptable periods for pregnancy ...
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
"hadd should be applied on the woman"
since you guys are keen on searching the net, can you please explain what is "hadd" brit?.. thanks..
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Boy, QL is so much fun and pretty educational too..
I baldricked the net and came up with a plausible answer.. This fatwa relates to the divorce or death of a husband and the "lineage of the child"
“And if she gives birth to a child after (the waiting period) before expiry of the maximum gestation for pregnancy it is attached to the (former/dead) husband unless the husband (if alive) rejects it with the oath of Li’an. If she has doubts about the presence of pregnancy she is to tarry. And is (the maximum gestation) five years or four years? There is a dispute.”
Evidently, only where the divorcee or widow has a child after four or after five years from the date of divorce or husband’s death is there a basis for taking this pregnancy as proof of zina. But even this is not at all certain in Maliki Law. Khaleel quotes Malik’s fatwa from the Mudawwanah to the effect that “were she (ie the divorcee or widow) to remarry four months short of the fifth year (from date of divorce or husband’s death), and then have a child in the fifth month (of the new marriage), it belongs to neither husband and she should face the hadd.” Khaleel then adds, the word “wastushkilat”, referring to this ruling, indicating that it is viewed as problematic (by some of the shaykhs- prominent jurists- of the Maliki school).
The ruling is basically this. A previously married woman remarries after four years and eight months of the end of her last marriage and has a baby after five months of the new marriage. Because five months is less than the minimum gestation the child does not belong to the new husband. However the total period between termination of last marriage and birth is five years and one month ie. beyond the maximum term (which is here taken as five years). So the child is not the first husband’s. Malik therefore ruled that in such a circumstance the pregnancy is proof of zina, the child is illegitimate and the hadd should be applied on the woman.
www.karamah.org/docs/international.doc
google it in Arabic or English and choose which source you trust, I have seen the same discussion on the Egyptian Government TV with Mufti Al Dyar Al Masreya Sheikh Ali Gomaa and he confirmed the same on public broadcast ..
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
its the moderator fault
and I agree Gypsy, mermaids are delectable..particularly lightly breaded and with some tartar sauce...
If you can't poke fun at it, what's the point of having it?
I just don't want this thread either locked or to digress to preaching, as so many others have....
some are viable sure: but some are just humorus, and if you look at the actual thing i posted, it is talking about Fatwas that could be AWESOME if adopted universally- I for one could do without the speedo-epidemic on the beach.......
I think we should take the fatwas as they're described in the link with a pinch of salt. It's clearly a light-hearted, tongue in cheek look a things. I'm sure if we looked into them in more details they'd make a lot more sense.
ROFL!!!! Damn, Thank God I'm Christian I love to eat mermaids.
here's the most ridicules!
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/103991
Apparently ,we "Muslims" can eat mermaids!!!
How, pray tell me abohmaid, are you supposed to not use sarcasm when discussing these fatwas. They are positively ridiculous.
Who is the individual who gave this fatwa that Logic posted? I did not see a name to ascribe it to.
Perhaps and I could be 100% wrong they are including the time of breast feeding as being 'pregnant'... Not sure...
As for a husband and wife being apart then there is a well known opinion by the 2nd caliph 'Umar that says that if they are not intimate for the period of 4 months and 10 days I believe then divorce could be automatic.
They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to see it... --George Carlin
without sarcasm from religion
Are you serious qwerty??? Of course religion will get involved here, and so it should. They are fatwas after all. And as brit says, while some are funny they are also viable when taken in context.
Was that for the Yvonne Ridley thread or this one Brit? Cause I'm not following you at the moment?
Sorry.. wrong post.. deleted
wait wait- I thought the topic here was something funny I found and wanted to share?
when did religion strap on stillettos and stamp the fun out of it?
Pajju....you are the all rounder...
¶¶¶ I have a pair of eyes but I can't see U everyday...
I have a pair of ears but I can't hear U everytime....
But...
I have only one heart that remembers U
everyseconds......¶¶¶
u can find it
www.islamonline.net
abohmaid - this is an open forum. Any one can comment on anything that's posted here, as long as they stick to the website guidelines. And in this instance Gypsy hasn't actually said anything controversial (for once ;-).
Please don't drag this thread down and get it locked. I think it is interesting to see where these fatwas came from.
? Troll?
u said u dont care about religions
why u posted many comments here
only when the topic is islamic
Aisha or someone can elighten us..
and provide us with a link that says otherwise, I have even found the same on Arabic sources and Mufti of Egypt has confirmed the same on a TV broadcast ..
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
there is specific sources for fatwa
u cant take it from any one
http://islamweb.org/ver2/Fatwa/ShowFatwa.php?lang=E&Id=84751&Option=FatwaId
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
Sounds like something Mrs Expat may use..
Can you post the link please ..
OMG!this is so funny.....[mod note: please don't try and provoke other users into an argument]
It's fantastic! I love it, it's soooo illogical!
This fatwa is authenticated and published has been discussed a number of times on TV and still I am having difficulty understanding it ...
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
just wear pants when you send them and you probably will be ok.
or you know, invest in a full-body condom to be worn at all time :)
THAT is the best fatwa ever!
I will have to take care in the future ... I hope none of the ladies I e-mail them claims she got pregnant from my e-mail ...
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
What do you use to stick the stamp to the letter ??
and your letters (and possibly emails and phone calls) are full of sperm, right?
msn and skype conversations on the other hand....
The answeer is simple.. Letters.. You write to her regularly don't you ?
It says that pregnancy can go for as long as 4 years and some say 5 years, i.e. for example if you are working in the gukf and go back home after 3 or 4 years of not being home and find your wife pregnant and when you ask her whos son is this and she tell you it is your's do not be surprised ... believe her and it is your legitimate son.
I am really a bit surprised how this works and would like to hear some views from Qlrs on that one ...
"The best way to predict the future is to create it".
Saw this before.. Actual fatwas.. Nothing wrong with them when you understand the context of the Fatwa.
Funny, but viable..
go to the website i linked- that's where i got it from.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15951_9-islamic-fatwas-we-can-get-behind.html
lol! :))
cheers,
paul
You need to read the link.
makes no sense at all... LOL
HAHAHAHAHAHA!