Girl's night out
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on
the Bacardi Breezers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she though she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend however was wearing
a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, 'These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!'
'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said...
'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.''
damn! you made me think about that.
Fuck......ahahahhahahah....good one....lolxxx
in the privacy of my own ROOM...ALONE...lol
azilana, i believe you can do more rhythmical way than that...LOL!
----------------------------
CARPE DIEM BABY!
for my eyes....
:-P
(yaiikkss...hope no one will say i'm a lesbo...lol)
You can't teach experience
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress.
A sign read: 'Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.
There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings!
The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.
Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw a faded sign for the same circus and the same sign 'Don't
Miss The Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.
Again, the centre ring was illuminated.
This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with three swings of his huge willy.
The crowd went wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.
'You're incredible!' he told the Scotsman.
'But I have to know something.
You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?
''Well laddie,' said the Scot, 'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be
dont worry panda, they don't see the "CRACK" that we were talking about anyway,... lol
I ended up with an older woman at a nightclub last night.
She looked OK for a 61 year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she
probably had a hot daughter.
We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever
had a Sportsman's Double.
'What's that?' I asked
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
I said, 'No,' - excitedly.
We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.
I went back to her place.
she opened the front door
we went inside
She switched on the hall light and shouted upstairs.....
'Mum, you still awake?'
loll good one!
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
An elderly couple were having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, 'Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?'
Martha replied, 'Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, 'I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by 'good reasons?''
Martha said, 'The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn't pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?'
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, 'I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?'
Martha asked, 'And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn't have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.'
'I recall that,' said Henry. 'And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.'
'Alright,' Martha said. 'So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?
This one is old, any new? ;{
What causes arthritis?
A drunk man who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a
priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick,
and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes
the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'
The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'
The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,'
Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had
arthritis?'
The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
oopss, seem to have posted it twice.. sorry bout that...
Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.
One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls
outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by.
Grandma asked, 'Why are you standing in line here, dear?'
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that
the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up
for some.
'Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for
myself,' Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all
the prostitutes.
When he got to grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, '
Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it old girl?'
Grandma replied, 'Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out,
rip the skin back and suck 'em' dry.'
The policeman fainted
HAHAHA!! of course i got it but i didn't want to mention more details like u did now hahahaha
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
..., some great ones there, keep 'em coming girl!
Torque 8-)
lol panda... his big bum is the "CRACK" in the airplane window... oh you didn't catch the joke.. lol
HAHAHA...what he's doing this guy looking from the wondow lolll...your last email
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
yeah those were funny.. my sides were aching all morning from laughing....
HAHAHAHA.....i don't finish yet but that's so funny tnx Jamy lol....MUSHRROM and the little jhonny lollll
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
Good one
hope you like them panda, roll over laughing!!!
ok i'll check tnx
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
i sent you some emails panda... check 'em out!!!
with pleasure jamy...
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
nice huh.. got a few more panda
ahhahahahahh! :D
LMAO!
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
my email adress is [email protected], i'll pm u
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
HAHAHA...nice one jamy!
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
lol panda i dont have your email address...
Lulu was a prostitute, but she didn't want her grandma to know.
One day, the police raided the brothel and took all the girls
outside and made them line up. Suddenly, Lulu's grandma came by.
Grandma asked, 'Why are you standing in line here, dear?'
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, Lulu told her that
the police were passing out free oranges and she was just lining up
for some.
'Why, that's awfully nice of them. I think I'll get some for
myself,' Grandma said, and she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all
the prostitutes.
When he got to grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, '
Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it old girl?'
Grandma replied, 'Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take my dentures out,
rip the skin back and suck 'em' dry.'
The policeman fainted
ok jamy but don't forget marijuana lollll
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
lol panda... got a few jokes and funnies on my Inbox, can email them to you if you like...
An old lady comes into the doctor's office.He telles her"go into that small room and get undressed"
A few minutes later,the doctor walks into the room and sees the old lady sitting with all her clothes on
He says :"il told you to take off your clothes"
The old lady says: "you go first"
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
This cheap man was looking for a wife who was born on Feb 29. one BD gift per 4 years
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
anytime panda....lol
ufff i'm suffering my friend.
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
LoL PandA ....
Guess its the result of the superb climate !! LOL
tnx Jamy....that why I like u :)
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
this joke is happened now, I just went to toillet to wash my face, I wash everthing even my glasses, forgot to remove it...:/
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
its alright panda.. lol
hahaha! :o)
nice ones!
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
Sorry Jamy, I have laughed about your joke but i forgot to write!! it's shame for me...sorry again...
Les hypocrites,comme les abeilles,ont le miel à la bouche et l'aiguillon caché...
This doctor told the pretty young girl "go into the room and take off your clothes"
The pretty young girl said, "It's my aunt here who's sick"
The doctor said to the aunt "All right,lady,stick out your tongue"
This saudi man goes to a store,points to a rack of nighties,and says to the clerk "Iwill take them all"
she replied"but they're all different sizes"
"so are you my wives" he said
lol.
.
That's funny................ :D
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╬ Jai Guru Deva ╬
funny joke =))
makin a fire or puttin out the fire??lol
psssst, better out the front than out the back......heheehehhehehhe
all of us at the fire station !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
very nice one -lol
psssst, better out the front than out the back......heheehehhehehhe