Homsi (Syrian Irish) jokes

Joke (1)
Homsi #1: I was born in Lebanon.
Homsi #2: 'Oh really, what part?'
Homsi #1: 'All of me, you silly man!!.'

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Joke (2)
A girl asked her Homsi boyfriend : 'Habibi, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?'
Sure replied the Homsi: 'What's your phone number?' =============================================
Joke (3)
Homsi is for the 1st time buying a colour TV.
Homsi: Do you have colour TVs?
Salesman : Sure.
Homsi: Give me a green one.

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Joke (4)
Teacher : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Homsi : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!

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Joke (5)
A Homsi returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father.
-Son : 'Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Homsi?'
-Father : 'No son, that's because you are intelligent!'
The son seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question :
-'Dad today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1 to10 I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Homsi?'
-Father : 'No son that's because you are intelligent!'
Happy with the answer, son asks another question to his father :
-'Dad today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was at least twice their height. Is that because I am Homsi?'
-Father : 'No son, that's because you are 31 years old.'

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Joke (6)
Q: How do you keep a Homsi busy all day ??
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

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Joke (7)
Q: How do you make a homsi laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

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Joke (8)
Q: Why did the homsi stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

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Joke (9)
Q: How do you keep a homsi busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

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Joke (10)
Q: Why can't homsis make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.

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Joke (11)
Q: How did the homsi try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.

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Joke (12)
Q: Why did 18 homsis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!

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Joke (13)
Q: What do you call a homsi in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

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Joke (14)
Q: A homsi ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: 'Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.'

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Joke (15)
homsi #1: 'Have you ever read Shakespeare?'
homsi #2: 'No, who wrote it ??

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Joke (16)
What about the homsi's wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.

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Joke (17)
homsi: 'Excuse me sir, what time is it?'
MAN: 'It's 3:15.'
homsi: (puzzled look on his face) 'You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.'

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Joke (18)
A homsi was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said 'DISNEYLAND LEFT'. After thinking for a minute he said to himself 'oh well!' and turned around and returned home.
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Joke (19)
A Homsi got himself a puzzle game. It took him 10 hard months to finish it.He was so proud of himself because at the side of the box it said ' 2-3 years'!!!