hopelessness and detachment
I've been going through cycles of depression, hopelessness and detachment from myself and reality for months. I'm 21, I've had several jobs that I quit due to anxiety. My first was stocking and working nights at a grocery store. I did this for years, quit, came back, quit again, came back again. Recently though depression hit hard and my chest was heavy every night with hopelessness and sadness. I feel angry that I haven't gotten anymore in life, but part of that is my views too I suppose. I despise most of what I see the world as. I love humans, but hate humans. Too much greed and ego, and it's real hard to approach being someone so awkward with social situations. I've made friends, I've been liked, I've had girlfriends, but I lost them too, just like I'm losing my friends now. School was wrecked by anxiety, lack of focus and depression. It consumed me, and I was young. I didn't have a word for it, I just hated the most that accompanied abdomen pain, feeling like I had to use the washroom badly... constantly! It's real crazy. I feel like I've been cursed with so much negative stuff. I'm tall, skinny, I'm not from much of a wealthy family and prices and stuff keep raising all the time. It's almost hard to survive.
On top of that, my anxiety has caused me to seek out EI at least for 3 months so I can see my doctor and got to therapy. I sometimes get happy, usually outdoors, somewhere nice, and it opens my eyes up to a world with little worry and overwhelming feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment. I've grown so used to just feeling like everything is dragged out and boring. I've gotten off my *** so many times, but then anxiety and other problems hit. It's starting to become a huge problem. I feel like I'm gonna break down. I always say it, it never happens, just I get bad anxiety attacks then sleep on it again for days.
Doctor tomorrow to explain some things, hopefully get him to back EI.
It's crazy where I've landed. I've lost sense of my self greatly. Things don't even feel real. There's hardly attributed emotion to a day anymore and talking to people is an irritating chore sometimes. I feel like I can't even process thoughts. When I go outside, I feel very alone. To the point where I want to find a name for it, like it's that big a deal, people must have it to this degree. I talk to people and feel so weird, I immediately forsee the negative and think they see me as some silly person. I've been called attractive, I used to think I was, now I see a mangled image when I look in the mirror. Someone real lost. I've lost connection with myself, and that's what makes me unable to really get anymore. I feel like I'm forcing myself to be everything I'm not, just to perform normally. Do I have depersonalization or something? Why has life lost all feeling and done a complete 180. I feel like a different human.
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I can empathise with you. I also suffer from anxiety. I turned to religion and it has helped me. Friends and family have also helped.
Talk to your doctor and if its severe , then think of taking medication..
Depression is a real issue affecting millions Globally, it is nothing to play with. If you need help the QL family is here if the repost or copy and paste is really how you feel we are here to help if you are just kidding you still need help so the offer of my friendship still stands.
Hello Blue Coffee as I tried to collect my thoughts on how to answer you without a stupid or unconcern one, this is what I have come up with. If I told you I never felt like you do I would be a liar. I have felt alone when a room was croweded and hopeless when a solution was right in front of me. The loneliness and the feeling of being unloved and separated from one own self is as real as the moon and the sky yet it is one that you have to control or else it takes you to a very dark place in which many never return as it ends in destruction known as suicide. I too have been in my life so depressed that I could not get out of bed and loneliness ate at my very existence but I made it through as I realize that I could change my life even if it meant to run away from that person, place, or thing that made me feel that way. If it is Doha go to Al Khor if it is Qatar go to the Uk if it is a him or a her find another him or her but you have the power to change, YOU have it and only you alone, I rode this horse before and it's hard to get off sometimes you just take the fall but in the end, you got off the damn horse. Take care and I am always here. Karen
Hello Blue Coffee as I tried to collect my thoughts on how to answer you without a stupid or unconcern one, this is what I have come up with. If I told you I never felt like you do I would be a liar. I have felt alone when a room was croweded and hopeless when a solution was right in front of me. The loneliness and the feeling of being unloved and separated from one own self is as real as the moon and the sky yet it is one that you have to control or else it takes you to a very dark place in which many never return as it ends in destruction known as suicide. I too have been in my life so depressed that I could not get out of bed and loneliness ate at my very existence but I made it through as I realize that I could change my life even if it meant to run away from that person, place, or thing that made me feel that way. If it is Doha go to Al Khor if it is Qatar go to the Uk if it is a him or a her find another him or her but you have the power to change, YOU have it and only you alone, I rode this horse before and it's hard to get off sometimes you just take the fall but in the end, you got off the damn horse. Take care and I am always here. Karen
for real?
Its better for you not to stay alone, if you feel lonely Listen to some nice songs, Read Books, Think about some good times you spend with your family/friends in your child hood, Every Human Being has something special in him/her self, Try to find the Spark you had in you....
Pray as well, it will give you Internal Peace...
EI = emotinal intelligence?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence
ur definitly not in qatar:
-quit, came back, quit again, came back again
-get happy, usually outdoors, somewhere nice
but what's EI?
With the "Back to top" at the bottom of your post I knew it was a copy paste. Are you "tillfjalls" found at this link: http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/63849-detachment-from-self-losing-grip/
Try to mingle with many friends,if you are a christian then involve more times in church activities,always keep you busy and dont let single time to sit idle,read interesting books including spiritual books, Do yoga everyday, there are many centres here to teach u yoga and thru that you can reduce your mental strain and you can control ,relax and refresh your mind.take some leave and travel either your home country or where u find happiness.Always think positively and prepare your mind to be courage and aggresive.