Hurting

With such kind of toxic environment, it would only make your child's emotional upbringing to a very bad ending. Remember, your life is also precious, especially if you are considering yourself to be the mother of your child. Single parents can do much, don't worry just be sure you go back home to wherever you may be (at least you have the security of your family ties esp if you're filipina then the whole clan will assist you.) I know it will be hard to leave your husband considering you still love him and that paternal bond existing because of your child, but for the sake of your child, leave. Here, they don't have a familiy judicial system like the US wherein domestic abuse is such a no-no since it is actually permitted in their religion (accdg to my muslim friend). So far, they've been able to set up family courts and heard that females can also have custody of their children (just don't know if it's that binding now). Anyhow, i pray you'd be able to get out of this one. One action leads to a different consequence so be prepared to make a decision and stand up for it.

 MY ONLY ADVISE IS GET SOMETHING DONE VERY QUICK BEFORE THE WORSE HAPPENS

LIVE AND LET LIVE 

...The Oracle...

what's next? I'll get a threat in my PM like what happen to others? shoo yourself! oh! so you're one of the wanna be to own QL? lol! sorry! no time for you! bye.

It's great 2 b loved!

in English please.  I have a hard enough time trying to understand someone as stupid as you so please learn how to speak English properly first. Now go play with your husband...shoo!

A student? what do you know about lovelife advices? I don't think you have any anyway! your name doesn't suit you! Is this Ba Jesus is your nastiest accounts? Were you sent by your allies? I am messed up? no wonder I am VERY happy, LUCKY, and CONTENTED with my husband! Anyway, I should not waste time with you as I did with someone here before, I just ignored her completely.  

It's great 2 b loved!

You're really messed up. You should be slapped for the "advice" you gave to maricel! you ought to be ashamed of yourself...

for what reason he hit you !!!!!!!

good luck marciel...take care of yourself and your baby....

we already talked and he promised to change all his mistake, u right guys he have a big problem about his family and me coz hi's family ask him to leave me but he said he can't do it and his family said u have to choose. that's y his acting like that, but he said god will help him and he said i will explain to his family that he can't choose coz he love me, our baby and his family who raised him up and take care of him for so long. I hope it's going to be fine... and sorry to publish it to public like working mom said, i just want some advice or help that's y i publish my personal problem into public. Hope u guys understand me. and thanks to all.

Maricel i think i got you... You mean to say, he only come to sleep in your house twice a week? And so he manage to let you alone with tfhe baby for the rest of the day of the week, is it right? Now , i think the problem is you always asking him why,,, correct me if i am wrong. Your husband i think doesn't like to be questioned redundantly. Give him a space to breath and think of what he is doing to you. A man will be provoked to do drastic action, and i condemed that, and he should not do that. Maybe leave him for the mean time, let him go and come when he wanted to. no questions asks, just try to keep quiet and see what would be he's reaction... And if ever he asks you why are you so quiet or cold, just ask him why , are you going to listen to me now?

But if he is not going to listen, just leave him the way he likes, he come home or not don't mind him. I know this is hard to do but, let him feel your absence and see the difference. If he doesn't change, then it's time to change your status, i am sorry to say this but if he no longer care to anything about you, what is the use of arguing with him, you just gain alot of spank and kicks. Love, when one love, then he care to stay with you, if he is no longer respecting your rights as a wife to ask him some questions when u asks then it's no use of loving him, don't expect him to be good husband if he is not doing his duty to you and to your child. I hope you have to wake up from a deep sleep believing he loves you, Maricel, that is before.... now no more...I am sorry if i jump into this conclusion but if you follow the above, and find out to be not working, then follow the last suggestion. PM or call me, you have my number isn't it? God give you strenght to all these...

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

Marciel there is a woman's shelter on D-RIng road, it's run by the Social Development Center and it's explicitly for expat woman.  I also recommed going to the Philipines embassy, they will have far more resources to help you.   They will be able to council you on what to do next.  If they can't, get on the first plane back to the Philipines and stay with your family and friends.  Leaving an abusive husband is like joining AA, you have to take it one day at a time.  In the long run, no matter what, you child will respect you more for respecting yourself and leaving him.  If you can't do this for yourself, do it for your child.  

"I am not a pretty girl, that is not what I do, I ain't no damsel in distress and I don't need to be rescued. So put me down punk, I'm not a maiden fair, maybe there's a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere." Ani Difranco

Ok.  I apologises for using the term "race" to include cultures.

A little pedantic though don't you think?

btw.  It was my mistake to post this topic in this thread.  I don't think its helping this topic any.  Can we post any further comments on the new topic I posted.  Yes, it was my fault!

Friends now?

"All my relationships have been with other races (including English)"...

ok it wasn't "British" race, it was the English one.. sorry.. but I am not aware of "English race" either...

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First and foremost your husband is not a Filipino and u should aware of your cultural differences. You cannot force your husband to eat pinakbet and diningding. Your love to him is by heart not by mind. Why  don't you go to family court which Mariam-mar told you earlier? Malaki ang problema  mo you know that. This is very private. Why you let the public know this? I will PM you.

How are you today?  Is there any bruising?

Firstly, NO, I'm not here to preach.  I just think that insinuating someone isn't from where they say they are, because of their English typing skills is a little uncalled for (and don't try to deny it)

Secondly, I agree I have never heard the term "British race", but looking back through my post, I don't think I've ever used the term "British Race", please correct me if I'm wrong.

Finally, "...pls get your study first...", what are you on about?  I didn't understand this part of your post!

My Dear, I've lectured at Universities in 2 different continents and have more letters after my name than anyone I know, and you're questioning my educational background, please?.  

If you are ready to leave your husband then leave him. Dont let him hit you again, we deserved to be treated nicely and respectfully and not taken by granted.

Take a pictures of yourself and make a notes about what happen. If you have courage please listen to others go to police now and report him. May GOD be with you and your little angel. 

Follow your instinc sister.

Everybody is right and Everybody is wrong, its depend where you stand

Hey QT.. i didn't get your "Now now Qatarisun, was there any need?"... did you register on QL to teach and to preach??

by the way, QT there is no "British race", at least I have never heard of one... 

so before teaching , pls get your study first...

Maddocks... you "put up with an abusive husband for 20 years"....I only can admire the strength, patience and self-sacrifice of Woman for sake of co-called “men”….

...20 years…. whole life.... amazing...

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It's sad to hear that he is abusing you physically...

don't you have any friend or relative in Doha? 

"Everything in life is destiny."

I put up with an abusive husband for 20 years.  He also was my first boyfriend and I was very young when I met him.  He too controlled my life.  I also was not allowed any friends or to go anywhere without him.  Or work outside the house.  Eventually my love for him died.  I left.  I had to leave my 3 children with him for the same reason he would not let me leave with them.  I understand nobody can persuade you to do anything.  But one thing - try not to get pregnant again while your situation is like this or you will have more problems.  I wish that he would get help or counselling but I doubt that he sees he does anything wrong.  Is he religious?  Are you?  Pray.  Maybe a religious person he respects can help.  Slowly you have to find strength and I know it's hard when you have been put down.  If you allow it you will have no self confidence left by the time he has finished with you.  Sometimes love has to be strong and tough and you have to show him firmly that you love him but he is being weak for treating you this way.  You must be a beautiful person, inside and out or he would not feel threatened by you.  He is afraid you are too good for him.  That is why men like this tread on women.  He has the problem.  He has to somehow see it and get help.  My advice is if he won't get help you will either be physically dead or emotionally dead within a couple of years.  Be very wise in how you go about dealing with him.  Ask God to show you what to do.

I've just posted a new thread, take a look!

A little angel, who can't sleep at "all".  The Red Pope of Qatar Living

I think that I'm going to post a new topic with this one.  It'll be interesting to see what people here think!

You're input into the new thread would be most welcome and valued.  I don't think discussing this here is helpful :-(

Also I only sleep a few hours a day.  It catches up with me though, once a week or so I need 12-14 hours.  LOL

Come my child. Don't waste, no more time! My Confession Booth is at your disposition for your mental challenges.   The Red Pope of Qatar Living

Now, I know I'm going to get a lot of flak for this comment, but do mixed relationships really work? or is the culture clash too great with some?

Obviously some do, but do you get the feeling that the majority fail?  I am British (vietnamese born) and have never been out with a Vietnamese Girl.

All my relationships have been with other races (including English), and I'm still single.  Does my Vietnamese roots prevent me from being British enough and is my Britishness preventing me from being Vietnamese enough?

One of my dear friends has always strongly stated (in a non racial way) that mixed relationships don't work.  I'm 31 this month and single, and I'm quite easy going.  Am I proof of this theory?  Is this thread more evidence of such?

Any non offensive comments would be welcome! 

PM, I tried to sleep, but am an insomniac and trying to get off sleeping tablets.  Why aren't you asleep yet?

Now now Qatarisun, was there any need?

I'm a UK citizen and I can say I can't see much difference with many in the UK that I've encountered.

It may just be because I'm from Birmingham.  LOL

..sorry.. are you sure you were born "from UK"??..unless UK stands for something other than United Kingdom...

sorry...

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Hi everyone ..ive just minute registered ...after reading the above... i read a few replies ..then didnt want to finish off..I hate reading things like that cuz it really upsets me....

Dont get me wrong Marciel u are being really patient ...but u r not noticing u r hurting ur self at the same time... its seems u have lost confidence in yourself and have low self esteem this is all doing from ur hubby ...u really need to think about urself  and your kids... i know it sounds easy to say ...it will be really hard but just for the time u get out...then u will look back and u will be alot happier insha allah......Take care of yourself ...no man should treat a women like that....men these days...dont get me wrong the men in this forum but it seems theres a lot out there.....forgive me ..

Im new hear im  Im born and bread 'as they say' from UK .... i was planning to move to qatar.....but i dont know..

that the whole world sees and understands her situation better than her...

'Of all the things you're looking for... is the one thing you can't see...'

it's not easy...I know what she wants... she wants him to live with her all the time. she wants him to love her as he did once.. she wants to have a normal happy family with him...

but.. it is impossible.... there are some things that he cannot overcome.... he maybe would love to ignore them, but he cannot... and that's what might make him angry by the way.. he is angry with himself coz he cannot go against his family.... he is angry with her, that she is not of his nationality which affects their relationship in such bad way...

and don't say: if they love each other, everything can be sorted out.. no.. the reality is much more complicated...

Maricel.. baby.. you are really in the trap...and it might last for years and years until you deside to get out of this h.e.l.l....

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thank you and i will try to sleep if i can, i already drink 2 panadol becoz of my migraine but i still have headache.goodnight!

DONT THINK RUBBISH THAT HE WILL GET MARRIED TO SOMEBODY ELSE OK

IF HE LOVES U A BIT ALSO NOW HE WILL SURELY COME TO U INSHALLAH

NO WORRY DEAR CHEER UP

I SAID U TO GO &SLEEP

TAKE CARE

BYE

Wife do need an exit permit from their husband here because they are our sponsor.

It's great 2 b loved!

i'm only his wife for now and i dont know when his going to get married again

ANYWAYS MARICEL ITS UPON U WHAT U WANT TO DO NEXT.BUT  YA WE UR QL FREINDS HAS GIVEN U ALL ADVISE SUGGESTIONS.ITS UPON U TO DECIDE RELAX THINK WELL ITS  UPON U WHAT EVER U WANT TO DO

SOO TAKE CARE OF URSELF &UR BABY &RELAX GO NOW SLEEP GO &GET FRESH TAKE CARE

ANYPROBLEM ARISE FEEL FREE TO ASK????

SEE UR QLITES ARE JUST LIKE A FAMILY U ASK &1000 FREINDS REPLY

TAKE CARE

BYE

Maricel he is an arab right? bcos they dont like filipina delicacies and you must be his 2nd wife. 

Omg are you my neighbor?

Is she really your neighbor?

It's great 2 b loved!

his from egypt. we have relation for 2 years and we're married for two years. his not like that before. i dont really know what is wrong. i just thinking what should i do if i'm going back to the philippines and for my baby. where should i get money for us and i dont want to leave my baby to go another country. and if i'm going to work in the philippines how much my salary, it is enough for me and for my baby?

"."

I dont think a wife requires an exit permit from her husband

SO WHAT R U THINKING NOW???? WHAT DO U LIKE TO DO TELLL ME??? WHAT DO U WANT TO DO NEXT???

how cn you say passport is lost.

Marciel he is an arab right bcos they dont like filipina delicacies   and you must be his 2nd wife. 

Omg are you my neighbor 

U WERE RIGHT NADT HE REALLLY SHOULD BE PUT IN JAIL

THERE IS FAMOUS SAYING IN HINDI

"PYAAR KIYA TO DARNA KYA'"

THAT MEANS IF U LOVE WHY TO BE SCAIRED

BUT MARICEL HUBBY IS SCARYDOG

IM XTREMELY SORR Y MARICEL BUT MY MOUTH IS FULL OF BAD WORDS FOR UR HUBBY I WOULD SURELY MAKE HIM STRAIGHT WITH U R PERMISSIION

HONESTLY I WILL SURELY

yes, i'm only his wife but i'm sure 1 day he will get married again with his language because of his family. i know he loved me, he try to kill his self before that time i decide to leave him. his wrong he dont have control, patience and i dont think he know to understand,and if he get angry at me he dont know what he can do. coz he said to me if he dont love me he can send me anytime to my country and not to marry me that time im pregnant, and his family told him not to get married at me but he will and his family also told him that do an abortion and he dont listen to them.

 You say,

 File an FIR on passport lost. Get the duplicate and go back home.

Hold on! It's not that easy try to know her situation first. 

How on earth she can leave without  her husband's exit permit? Would she be able to take her child with her? NO!

It's great 2 b loved!

maricel u know ur answer better than me that u dont have time to be with each other.r u joking maricel r u really married.is ur husband crazy or some mental man taken out from asylum sorry maricel but yes i really think so bcoz ur his wife not a call girl or blah blah that he is with u only thursday &friday plz  tel me  ur hubby is just using u or what??????????

u ur self is playing with ur life

then give me ur hubby name adress &then i will show him

be strong

r u gone nuts maricel u r married life is like this ????????????????????/

first of all ur hubby is really really really mad &scarydog if he is a guy man he should directly talk to his parents about u either keep u in his house or be with u always

 u really did not say me all this &i was giving u plans to make ur hubby happy

what maricel????????????

i really don know what to say now really

i swear i will put him in jail for 1 day then he will be straight

tell me his name ????? address ???????

tell me

my fiance brother is a cid &police i will reaally do it

i mean it

reply

maricel, i think kelangan mo munang mahalin ang sarili mo bago ang iba, based on ur story you really dont know your husband, sorry to say. . hope you dont mind. . may i know what is his nationality??

File an FIR on passport lost. Get the duplicate and go back home.

Please please get away. This is not the way u should live. You have Sunday to Wed to decide and plan , But plan very carefully.

All the best. Take the help of your co countrymen or women to sort it out. 

I think its time to say QUITS.

Cool Guy !!!!!

Ishunatu.. im sorry for the pain your sister and marciel are going through...my advice still stands...i would never let a man physically abuse me or my children and i realise that its not black and white situations..but i will never advice any woman anything put to stand up for herself if she can do it with support and never ever ever blame the woman for this sort of behaviour. No human being should be treated this way. Ofcourse in the end its up to the individual to do what they want, but to me violence is unacceptable no matter what the situation is. My greatest sympathy to marciel and your sister.

It is typical of you to assume that I accept his behaviour...

but this is not the time for petty differences

midnight is not the right time for Maricel to evaluate her complex situation

It is the right time for her to try and get a good nights sleep, take rest, attend to her baby

worrying about all the huge problems in life is not going to help right now...

i will tell you about him. its all up to you if u believe it or not. from sunday to thursday is his work every night his picking me up from my work and if he have work i have to go by driver. in the night we had a dinner and mmovie and after that he will go home and sleep to his home coz i'm not really close to his family cz they dont accept me as a wife of their son. and every thursday is the day of his friends and friday is mine. he sleeping in our house only thursday and friday night. and u think thats good husband.

true hashin, relaxing is good but you have to deal with the existing problems, they dont go away unless you deal with them...

ur surely right but u tell me is it correct to separate child from 1 parent or better to cooperate &understand each other .yes PM in small &not experianced but its not the age which tell u to advise a particular person.but its a mind im also a girl if i was in maricel place maybe i will kill my hubby &sit in jail or run away suicide or something else.anyways nadt let me clear i advised maricel to cooperate becoz my own sister is having this problem u imagine she is also one of woman who is being abused.she is also having kid dughter.same thing she is also abused by her hubby.but when we tried to separte her said her to take divorse she said i want to live with my hubby  no matter he beats me or kills me from that time we left her die khallassssssssss i still feel for her &always say her leave him becoz he goes to prostitutesssssssss imagine she earns &my sis hubby also earns but my sis doesnot kep a haprdly 50dirhams in her bag.whenever she comes home she ask money ffrom us give qr10 for petrol blahh blahh whole day the baby stays with us

soo i understand what exactly is pain

its not just that i say maricel go get beating let him abuse u but till an extend try to say he marriage

take care

answr plzz

hashin are you missing something here?? This wasnt a fight..this is repeated physical abuse?

if you've already made up your mind that the world will keep slapping you on the face, thats your problem...

Theres nothing wrong with letting your problems vanish atleast for a minute, let the adrenaline to go down a bit, let the stress and the pressure to disappear... a clear mind will serve you a lot better than a foggy one

 Yeah! true enough! why get involve and get responsible with others problem? better to stay happy and be please by your own family, yes?

It's great 2 b loved!

To say that abuse only escalates is to doom this marriage...

I've known abusive marriages that have managed to get over its problems...

and obviously there are abusive marriages that go to worse as well...

it all depends on the individuals

Maricel should be the one to judge if she can still trust her partner or not...

and three hours after a big fight is not the right time

yes hashin....until the world decides to slap you in the face again and remind you of your reality.....

I switch off and I focus only on myself...

I forget all the huge problems that I have and I just focus on then and there

maybe a nice cup of hot coffee...

a refreshing warm bath...

spend some time with my son...

maybe some good television...

talking to someone special, grandmoms are great...

and then the world doesn't seem such a bad place after all

But first we should try to know them both if possible and give our advice like those what we call councelor, don't you think?

It's great 2 b loved!

ishutanu...obviously its a complex situation however can you imagine how this affects the child, this is worse for the child to endure....and maybe the child will be next on the physical abuse list cause no doubt the child is already emotionally abused with whats going on.  I only have to argue with my husband and i see the looks on my kiids face and he tells me to stop.....dont tell me this isnt affecting them....What will be next, he may accidently kill her one day and then what will happen to the child, i realise it will be hard for her to leave but this isnt just a minor agreement, hes beating her up and judging from her posts this isnt the first time....It will be hard to begin with but in the end she will not only save her self but she will save the kid too...but i do think she needs support in doing this as she cant do this alone.....

ishunatu....if this was happening to your daughter or your sister would your advice to her still be the same?

i'm filipina but his not.

Some people comes here for comfort, some people comes for sympathy, but before we share our advices to them, try to balance the situations which is called being neutral. because maybe sometimes we only react according to what we hear and not the real situations. Afterall we all have our own opinions and it's good to think we are helping and not ruining others.

It's great 2 b loved!

allright thats true but what would u say she shhould go to police &seek help the situation will go more worse forget about maricel &her hubby but what about the inocent kid wwhy should she see soo many problems with her parents.u know that police will not do anything other than putting the man in the jail right??? so u say me who willl feed the kid &maricel.yes its true that he is abusing maricel but she &her hubby can just go well if they cooperate.u know if they did not have kid then she could have left him &justv live happily but now she is a parent.so do u think still she should go &complain to police.smalll small misunderstanding comes between hubby &wife but it doesnot mean that she should got to police they should try to cooperate thats all my suggestion is thats all.suppose they get separated then u tell me will they be happy 1 wil be happy &other sad Yyyyyyyy tell me

becoz 1 will have baby the other will not then..........................

anyways my suggestion was this its diffrent thinking of different person sooo im sitting here &giving a sugestion its upon maricel how she saves her marriage khalllllasssssssssss

thats it

take care

Before you think about going to the police or leaving your husband.

just make sure you are okay, not physically hurt enough to need medical attention

Once you've made sure you are physically okay

and you have had time to relax and get over the mental trauma...

maybe call up someone, your close family wherever they are

and when you feel that are starting to think straight

then start considering your options...

 my advice is not to assume that abuse will not continue in future

once  he knows you cant fight him he will do it again and again.

No mercy unless he accepts responsibility for the abuse and ready to change his behaviour by anger management techniques.

 battered woman syndrom "a breaking down of a woman's self confidence and self respect to a point where she no longer knows if she is crazy or not .

No matter how much you provoke he has no right to beat you Marcel .  I have seen many  couples continuing staying thinkin he will change no

even when they are 80 yrs old if they cant use hand they will throw things on you. Dang 

what things i dont gave him, i try to cooked but his not eating and he always said its philippine food and i try t cooked another food but he doesn't liked it, he only like their food. and if he finished his worked and i have to leave and go to my work and at night he pick me up at 9 and  after we ate were going to watch movie movie and if im going to speak with him he will say, stop i'm watching movie now. we dont have enough time for ach other.

alexa i know in reality this does happen but im always shocked when people are open about it and they dont see whats wrong with it...its disgusting...

he is hurting her physically! as PM said, he is abusive... it is not about HER, it is about HIM... no one under any circumstances cannot physically hurt another person…specially it's your wife and mother of your child…

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ur advice about how she should treat him after he physically and mentally abusing here? Like does she bark at him??? Do all those wondeful romantic things after hes just kicked the s*** out of her?? Would you like to do those things to someone who just beat you up?

I certainly wouldnt?

Belive it or not! I know my people! both tend to be insanely jealous that's why they can become very annoying to their partner and end up into an argument or worst.

It's great 2 b loved!

what do u mean r u for  real???

ishutanu..r u for real??????  I'm speechless????

Exactly! As I said you are a man and you'll never know how far woman can go, to get someone's sympathy. Sorry! if I were rough to you! But I often gave advice to people  before and found out in the end, they just wants your sympathy and when the typhoon is over, you're an enemy because you tried to ruin their relationship and they think you're advice is not good enough!

It's great 2 b loved!

hi,

 remember 1 thing maricel a stone can also be melted why not ur hubby.

give him ur all attention.give him all ur love ur care.there can also be work tensions that he is soo much frustrated that he doesnt know what he is doing???? u know u first have to peep in his heart to know what exactly his problem is?? if he has work tension or any personal tension comfort him well show him &make him feel that ur always there beside him ohhh common maricel its ur love marriage &u should know everything of his things.try cooking his favorate food make him feel that ur his lovely darling who loves him soo much give him what ever he ask.make him feel that ur his wife&he even has a kid &he is a father of kid make him be engage with ur kid so that he showers some love to both of u ask him doesnt he loves u?? or is he bored of u?? make ur self strong instead of sitting &cryin.

try to communicate him with love not just bark at him

mens sometimes get very angry whn we always have doubt on them

we ask wheere were u??? with whom??? y ?? who is she?? &blaah blahhh

so if u do this then plzzz stop

thats  it always try to create a romantic environment with ur huby at home.no matter u have 100kids or 1kid

take care'

bye

gud nite

Maricel...its hard to break away from someone you love, but this isnt love from his side at all, otherwise he wouldnt be treating you this way.  Try to get out of this situation....theres a philipino group here, join them and see if someone can help you like alexa suggested....maybe someone esle was in this situation here in Q and may know of a way to get you out of this mess. Wwhen you are free from this wicked man, hopefully you will find someone who will love you and your baby and treat you the way you should be treated, with love and respect...as every person should be treated....

what you are going through! I feel for you...

but...You really should think about your future....the way he is acting… it’s not going to stop one day all of a sudden, for sure… he either have to admit, that something wrong with him and go to get an anger management treatment.. or.. sorry, but you have to leave him if you don’t want to be abused mentally and physically to the rest of your life.. and be aware, such things become only worse with the time…

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you guys help me alot, and for to all.  love him so much coz he's my first for everything but i can't stay with him if he always do that and everytime we had a fight he can't controlled his self his aying bad words and hurting me if he want and if so anry at me.

THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR ADVICE..............

Cool Guy !!!!!

I supposed you'll tell Maricel next why put up with him? leave him! You think you're a big help at all? you don't know how woman feel at all! who are you to advice her? If time comes she regrets her decision of leaving her husband because she realizes she actually love him. where do you stand?  Afterall it's her decision, not yours, to follow! 

It's great 2 b loved!

what does my head in with DV is why the woman is always asked "what did you do to him to make him hit you. Like ishutanu's advice "did you not listen to him"....theres is no excuse for this behaviour even if she didnt listen to him....or upset him in any way..shes not responsible for his feelings and it does not give him the right to hit or kick her..this is just barbaric behaviour....i would say CALL THE POLICE...PHOTOGRAPH YOUR BRUISES AND RECORD EVERYTIME HE HITS YOU. Get some one to back you up...its really hard in these countries prob to prove it....but you have to try and find help as things will get worse...THIS IS NOT UR FAULT IN ANYWAY....Pls seek help if you can...

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;

 who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as you have because she is as

 human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your

Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that

 gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements. 

 One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as

  much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who

love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family

name,

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you

sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment

 and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make  tea, first thing in the morning and cook

food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,

and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,

a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as

to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that

you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than

you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at

her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing

to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,

 unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply

 because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like

 yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important

relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some

and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows

in your entire house -   Your unstinted support,  Your sensitivities and most importantly - Your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this...... 

Cool Guy !!!!!

Wow! distorted logic! my friends find me helpful and sweet! sounds like you're trying to impress people by telling you are one of the best husband! well! I'll tell you what, I think you're bullcrapping! This post is not about you it's about Maricel!

It's great 2 b loved!

Whatever you go through at the moment, there is no point in thinking about killing yourself.  There is always another way out.  Don't ever think about it because it will hurt much more people than just you.  Your daughter, your family and your friends.

Remeber, again, there is always another way, even if at that time you don't see it because you are overwhelmed with emotion.

To All - Are the any domestic abuse help organisations in Qatar? 

anyway, i will think nicely if what is the good thing that you have said guys and i will let you know and if i need more some advice pls. dont get bored on me. all husband and wife is different, have 1 family that they live happy and have family also that always fighting.

With your aggresive attitude towards other woman? who will believe your not insane? And who'd believe you're an ideal husband? definitely not me? If you're more into a diplomatic attitude and more convincing way of talking maybe it's more realistic. but the way you talk and react and you don't know what we call neutral's advice. well you definitely didn't pass to give good advices in any domestic problems, do you?

It's great 2 b loved!

he's mind is so different, he dont have patience and he dont kow how to understand your feelings

hi

im sorry for all this.but i would like to suggest u that try talking to ur hubby y is he doing like this??? ask him that does he has any problem with u or ask him why r u doing like this??? i also fight with my fiance sometimes but honestly it always be my mistake somewhere or the other so before blaming ur hubby think that did u do anything which he doesnot like or anything u did not listen to him??? u know ur really mad before tinking of killing urself u think of ur kid.always fight with ur problems not running away from it.so plzz ask ur hubby niocely why is he doing like this???

im sure he will be having answer it soo hoping u to talk to ur hubby &finnish all your problems.

take care

dont forget to reply all those freinds who have helped u for suggestions(including me) 

bye

I can see it may be hard to report your husband.  Steps must be taken one way or another to prevent him from physical abusing you again.  Sorry, but I agree with Abu, there is absolutely no excuse for him raising his hand to his wife, let alone kicking you!

thanks guys for all your advice. i love QL coz this is the only way i can share my feelings and give me advice. i'm just alone here and crying and everytime i cried my migraine attacking me so badly.

You sounds like one of theose battered husband, Hubby says he has your sympathy!  joke!

It's great 2 b loved!

There is no acceptable reason for him to hurt you physically. Whatever the problem is, but maybe if he is jealous to you or to someone for you. But is he drinking or cracking? Find it out...

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

We all have different opinion so used your (stop swearing - keep it clean - mod) to your wife not me! because I have been married for 13 years and it's been smooth until now my husband loves me dearly and marriage is a matter of give and take. Not that I say he treats me that way but sometimes it's better for us to know both sides. remember when people are hurt they tend to lie, so they can get everyone's sympathy.

It's great 2 b loved!

why its all happening to me. i give everything i can. he's my first boyfriend and come to be my husband. i stop going out with m friends coz he dont like and he did it to me. i want to kill myself but i was thinking about my daughter but im so ediot if i do that. i'm was thinking before we fight that i gnna stay with him because we have 1 kid and i dont want my kid ask me one day if where is her father or something she can ask about us.

Sleep tonight. Leave things to calm down

On Saturday or Sunday discuss this with your office colleagues esp someone who is close 2 u. Discuss and plan your next move tacitly so that you dont mess up and ensure your freedom.

As Mariam said go along with 2-3 friends esp ladies to report his activities to the Police, but decide first whether you want your baby, freedom from such instances, liberty to live peacefully all on one side and or you want your husband on the other side.

Why should you bother if he lands in jail. He doesnt care for you so why should you?

As rightly pointed out its you who have to decide your future so take bold decisions after weighing pros and cons.

We pray for better sense to prevail on your Hubby. Get rid of him if you want FREEDOM

Cool Guy !!!!!

Police will never get involve in this matters and they know it's common case for the to couples to figth and make up afterwards. so whoever advice her becomes their enemies in the end.

It's great 2 b loved!

If he's done it before and has just done it again , what's to stop him doing it again and again and again...

Listen to them and call the police.  If you want to go back to your own country and take your child with you, that may be you're quickest and best option!

Yeah - maybe he can kick her in the back again and balance that out...

Call the police. 

*************************************

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

 Try to balance the situation, maybe you're just over reacting and he's a bit down at the moment. Husband will never tell us if there's something's bothering them, unless you insist to know and you care to know. Don't make a sudden decision, regret never comes first it's always in the end.

It's great 2 b loved!

before he did to me and after he stop and again he did it to me 1hour ago and he go outside in our home.

i dont want him to report to the police, i just want to leave him coz i fell guilty if i report it to the police and what hppen to him after i dont want him to go in the jail. Just pls. guy's dont tell me stupid, i know that. i'm alone and i dont really know what is the right thing to do.

Call the police.  

*************************************

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

i would suggest that you report him to the police. a lady should not be treated that way

Maricel, don't you have a relative here? Were you the one in the court? Why don't you go to the court and file your complain? That is physical injury, is he doing this to you everytime all your marriage long? Go to the Police, but better if you go directly to the court in Al Saad. Ask a judge who understands English.  

"There's nothing we can do to change the past, if it teaches  you a lesson profit from it then, forget it."

Dont fear Report him to the Police

You will get help. 

Cool Guy !!!!!