a boy who have never seen his butt went to school for the first time and a cruel teacher beat him hard on his butt.he came to home and looked his butt in the mirror and cried "mommy that donkey breaked my butt in to two pieces"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
It's about 2 o'clock ,and you know how things look in a bar about two o'clock.. well there's a panda bear and a prostitute sitting together, and the woman asks if he would like to go home with her.. the panda bear looks her over and says sure.. so they go to her place they have a good time and the panda bear gets up to leave, when the prostitute yells ,"where do you think you're going?" the panda bear answers that he is going home, the woman then explains that she is a prostitute and the panda bear answers that he knows but he is a panda bear.. they can't see eye to eye on it so they decide to look it up in WEBSTER's ... they look up prostitute: a woman that gets paid for sexual favors, the panda bear answers that yes he knew that, now look up panda bear: a black and white bear that eats bushes and leaves.
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee; and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You have no knickers - why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Hoots Mon, woman! Why are ye not wearing knickers? She too explains, "You dinna give me enough housekeepin' money ta be able ta afforrrdany." The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the sake of decency, here's a comb, tidy yurrrself up a bit."
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
"Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell, cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed right away.
Months later the baby was born. When the man visited nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."
A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!'
The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!'
At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary.
He reads:
'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.'
**Dont get discourage when things go beyond your imagination because the greatest glory in life is not falling but rising everytime you fall. Life is what you make it**
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2.Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
Panda you know why QS slapped Pajju...
Little pajju wanted a full body tan, He just went and exposed himself to qatarisun. Poor guy...
http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/
What did the little any say to an elephant that made him faint. . . . . ?
a boy who have never seen his butt went to school for the first time and a cruel teacher beat him hard on his butt.he came to home and looked his butt in the mirror and cried "mommy that donkey breaked my butt in to two pieces"
hope you understood...:D
QS thankyou, tell me1 nobody tells that you are one amooora :D
Not Fade Away
-Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
-Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
-Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
-Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.
-------------------------------------------------------
No E-Shoes......
panda, this will be enough for you for the next week to read and to laugh at.. hope you feel better now.. :)
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
-------------------------------------------------------
No E-Shoes......
It's about 2 o'clock ,and you know how things look in a bar about two o'clock.. well there's a panda bear and a prostitute sitting together, and the woman asks if he would like to go home with her.. the panda bear looks her over and says sure.. so they go to her place they have a good time and the panda bear gets up to leave, when the prostitute yells ,"where do you think you're going?" the panda bear answers that he is going home, the woman then explains that she is a prostitute and the panda bear answers that he knows but he is a panda bear.. they can't see eye to eye on it so they decide to look it up in WEBSTER's ... they look up prostitute: a woman that gets paid for sexual favors, the panda bear answers that yes he knew that, now look up panda bear: a black and white bear that eats bushes and leaves.
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Q:What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A. A panda rolling down a hill.
Q. What’s black and white and red all over?
A. A sunburnt panda.
Q. Why do pandas have fur coats?
A. Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
Q. Why do pandas like old movies?
A. Because they’re in black and white.
Q. What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A. A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Q: What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A: A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Q. Why was the little cub so spoiled?
A: Because his mother panda'd to his every whim!
*********************
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
LOL sandy... u made my day...
-------------------------------------------------------
No E-Shoes......
I don't like the drugs,but the drugs like me. :D
lol
LOL sandee nice one hahahahah
....................................................................................
सोनम दी नेपाली बाबु
......
Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals are new
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- "1 Miss Call".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: "Should Women have Children after 35?"
Smart Sardar Replied: "No!
35 Children R More than Enough!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr YOU" !!.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Don't read if easily offended.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all playing golf with their wives. The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee; and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford to buy any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $50, go and buy yourself some underwear."
Next the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You have no knickers - why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency here's $20, go and buy yourself some underwear!"
Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Hoots Mon, woman! Why are ye not wearing knickers? She too explains, "You dinna give me enough housekeepin' money ta be able ta afforrrdany." The Scot reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the sake of decency, here's a comb, tidy yurrrself up a bit."
http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/
Joe and Dave are hunting when Dave keels over. Frantic, Joe dials 911 on his cell phone and blurts, "My friend just dropped dead! What should I do?"
A soothing voice at the other end says, "Don't worry, I can help. First, let's make sure he's really dead."
After a brief silence, the operator hears a shot. Then Joe comes back to the phone. "Okay," he says nervously to the operator. "What do I do next?"
Sandeep good that you modified the first joke for QL's liking....lol
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
"Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice, but pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell, cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed right away.
Months later the baby was born. When the man visited nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."
http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/
Absolutely, he was so serious that I can't stop laughing lol
Sandeep your serious posts make me laugh:)
FS you didn't like my joke.. GRRRRRR...
http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/
I'm waiting for Darude joke which is a big baseball bat on my head :D
lolzz sandeep
Moring FS :) any joke please I wanna my dose for this morning lol
Morning Panda...
you cant just help laughing after reading Sandeep's pathetic joke..lol
:) thank you sandeep
A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating, the waiter comes over to bring him the check. When the waiter arrives at the table, he just starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. The Panda Bear then wipes off his chin with his napkin, gets up, and starts to walk out. Just as he is about to go through the door, the manager grabs him. 'Wait a minute!' he yells, 'You just killed my best waiter! Besides that, you didn't even pay for your sandwich!'
The Panda Bear grasps the manager by the throat, jacks him up, and growls, 'Hey man! I'm a PANDA! Do you know what that means? Why don't you look it up!'
At this the Panda walks out the door and ambles down the street. The manager, shaken, returns to his office and consults a dictionary.
He reads:
'panda - a large mammal of the Asian mountain forests related to raccoons and true bears and characterized by bold black and white markings. Eats shoots and leaves.'
http://skadian-lifeinqatar.blogspot.com/
funny right? i dnt think so
Thank you and Best wishes
**Dont get discourage when things go beyond your imagination because the greatest glory in life is not falling but rising everytime you fall. Life is what you make it**
lol