Modern childhood ends at 12
Childhood 'is over at age 12' - Parents blame internet porn and celebrity culture for the premature loss of innocence
Three-quarters of parents said childlike qualities are lost before teens
One in six complained their child’s innocence was lost as young as ten
By Andrew Levy
Childhood now ends at the age of 12 because of a 'toxic combination' of influences including online porn and celebrity culture, with a pressure on girls to be thin, a survey has found
Nearly three-quarters of mothers and fathers said childlike qualities are being lost before their children have entered their teens.
One in six complained their child’s innocence was lost as young as ten.
Just one in 50 said they managed to protect their child from growing up too soon before they were 16 – the age they felt their generation entered a more adult stage.
Just over 1,000 parents were questioned about ‘tweenagers’ – children aged seven to 13 – for online parenting site Netmums.
The vast majority, 89 per cent, said society is forcing children to mature too fast.
Innocence is under fire, they said, from the easy availability of internet porn, social media, celebrity culture, images of thin or overtly sexy celebrities and magazines aimed at young children that are filled with inappropriate content.
The Daily Mail has campaigned for automatic blocks to stop children accessing online porn.
It has also highlighted the growth in sexualised clothing for children and the influence posed by dangerously skinny models and celebrities.
The Netmums survey found two-thirds of young boys feel they have to act macho.
Half are overly concerned with their appearance and a similar number believe they have to be good at ‘everything’, from schoolwork to sports.
A third think ‘having money is the most important thing about someone’.
Two-thirds of girls are obsessed with their appearance, while half worry about their popularity and nearly as many feel under immense strain to be thin.
And more than a quarter of under-13s are preoccupied by the opposite sex, kissing and having intercourse.
The majority of parents said children’s clothes, particularly those for girls, were often too sexy.
Many complained about clothes ranges that were the same for seven to 16-year-olds.
Innocence is under fire from the easy availability of internet porn, social media, celebrity culture, images of thin or overtly sexy celebrities and magazines aimed at young children that are filled with inappropriate content
Almost as many revealed youngsters had fixations about brand names.
One in three mums and dads reported constantly battling to keep their child ‘childlike for longer’.
There was also a marked difference in pastimes between the generations.
Just one in five of today’s children like reading, compared to two-fifths of their parents.
And only a quarter of youngsters now enjoy playing outside, preferring time alone on iPads and other tablets. More than two-thirds of parents said they enjoyed outdoor play in their youth.
Netmums founder Siobhan Freegard said: ‘The pace of modern life is so fast that it is even snatching away the precious years of childhood.
‘A toxic combination of marketing, media and peer pressure means children no longer want to be seen as children, even when as parents we know they still are.
‘It’s shocking our study shows childhood ends by 12 years old. Children need time to grow and emotionally mature in order to cope with what life throws at them.’
Four in ten parents said their children had been exposed to internet porn, according to a Department for Education consultation last year.
The report also found one in ten children had accessed anorexia information online.
Controversial products aimed at children have included padded bras and Playboy stationery. Woolworths was forced to withdraw a line of bedroom furniture called Lolita in 2008 that was aimed at girls as young as six.
And a beauty parlour in Brentwood, Essex, was criticised in 2011 for offering spray tans and facials to girls as young as one.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2288805/Childhood-age-12--Parent...
********************************************************
Are our children growing up to fast?
you're no spring chicken either though...:P
Lucky gal I would say you're truly lucky, as many in your country live in abject poverty and don't have your background. They come from a background of multiple young wives, alcohol abuse, etc.
Exactly No Merci, they're adults in training at that age, they should be getting their first part time jobs, trying dating, trying out adult responsibilities when they still have the opportunity to mess up and learn from their mistakes.
By older generation im talking about black people, as i can relate easily because of the culture im from and also from my christian lifestyle(i will refrain from religious talks due to how the topics normally end up). My family never chained me down though they had boundries, but during my teenage years they openly discussed with me about these issues, tell me what they desire for me to have and what it takes to get there. The choice was solemnly left for me, do and become part of the shameful STATS or simply trust that my parents knows best and live by their guideliness. There are children, who should live under the guidance of adults and also adults with responsibilities....no inbetweens
If really parents could do that, with the support of communities and governments, a fraction of people could turn out for the better.
I think we should not generalize either here. Some kids are more mature than others..it's a very individual thing.
I am still against early marriage though. I believe it is better if there is some relationship experience before getting married.
As a mom of a daughter, and knowing the trials my own mom endured as a mom with three daughters, I generally have a very open minded attitude towards the sexual development of youngsters and feel that rather than try to stifle them with over-protection and threats(which I feel many times actually pushes them in the opposite direction) I feel it's better to work on developing a close bond of trust with them, and provide them with as much insight as possible.
Sure I have these little playful arguments with my daughter where she'll say "I'm gonna get married at 16" and I go "what? you must be nuts! First finish your education"
But in actuality I leave the future in God's hands and just spend my time teaching her about the good, bad and ugly!
The issue as I see it is that 12 to 16 year olds (and perhaps a bit younger depending on when they hit puberty) are in a sort of in-between zone.
They aren't children anymore, there bodies are way too full of hormones and like it or not but they're going to be attracted to anything that discusses or mentions sex because that's all their hormonal little bodies want to think about, and their also going to be attracted to things that make them look more adult, because they so desperately want to be adults. But they aren't quite adults either, so you can't treat them as such.
They're kind of like adults in training.
Honestly I don't think anyone's found the proper way to deal with them yet.
Lucky Gal you're coming from a country with the highest rape rates and AIDS rates in the world! Not to mention huge amounts of poverty. As for what the older generations did, are you referring to the white or black generations? Because I'm pretty sure they'd have pretty different backgrounds. One of your main problems with people not using condoms is because of cultural myths and prejudices.
South Africa should be handing out condoms by the bucket loads to everyone and their dog.
You've got far bigger issues than kids having kids. Jeez.
Strange that in this discusion we are saying that it was acceptable for them to get married at a very early age. However, in many other threads people have complained about marriage at an early age bacause of mental immaturity.
So, please make your minds up :O)
Growing up very fast ie. My daughter at 8 years old already tends to find men attractive and talks VERY seriously about getting married. I mean at 8 years old I was a tomboy only ever interested in boys to fight with em and prove I was tougher!
And no I cannot blame the media alone. My daughter has absolutely no access to porn or any "adults only" materials. She just seems to be developing, naturally, faster than my sisters and I did.
Another point I agree with Miss M is that it was only in like maybe the last eighty years or even less that girls and boys were considered children at the age of 12-16. My own granny married around 14 and she used to tell us that at that time and age this was the norm. I imagine then her mom and grandma might have been even younger when they wed!
Rather than trying to shut down their development, which I believe is a fruitless pursuit, I believe its better then we spend much time and effort in educating our kids about the birds and the bees and of course the beasts. That way regardless of how fast and advanced their sexuality and desires grow, they will hopefully have wisdom and knowledge on their side when choosing to act upon them!
Educating your kids, you talk to them and have boundries as a parent. Any kid is likely going to test those boundries and really, but an adult should stand by their boundries and if they dont listen, well nothin you can do there. Coming from South Africa, the amount of kids having kids, abortion clinics are making millions, diseases you name them...is really unbelievable...the old fashioned way of doing things rightthat the previous generations lived by, and parents assuming they full responsibility and protecting their kids was better because by them being strict, it eliminated many things and protected the kids.
So you reckon kids must be given access to these things because times are changing??
What do you think educating them is telling them Lucky gal? And if you tell them all that and they still don't abstain? What then?
Society is indeed changing. Theer have been calls in the UK for the age of consent to be lowered to 14 - precisely because kids are maturing earlier and experimenting earlier.
i think it makes absolute sense, you teach them you have sex, youl have a child,possily contract disease, damage your life, your child's life,a very big possibility of ending up taking care of that child alone. It sounds harsh to a 12yr old, but any child should be aware that what they engaging in, comes with responsibilities.
So you admit that not all will abstain, even if you teach them about the consequences of not abstaining, but then you want to take away from them the things that would allow them to have safe sex? So you want to guarantee that they get pregnant or get STIs? That makes no sense.
miss mimi...you can educate children and honestly not all of them will abstain. However my point is that the government and communities we live in should not stand and say just because they will do it either way we educate them, let us hand them condoms, abortion clinics, birth control but rather frown upon that, encourage them to abstain, invest in them and activities that are age appropriate and not make these things easy for them...and those who play and make a child, let them assume that responsibility of being a mother and father
Thnks for sharing miss I think this survey was taken in UK ..............:)
Gee, you'd think I was a Mom or something.
Yr right learner miss MM likes young boys and girls always posting there related threads
Learner, no it says boys:
The Netmums survey found two-thirds of young boys feel they have to act macho.
How are you going to enforce kids to abstain? Keep them separated till they're at a suitable age for marriage? (18) they'll still find ways to meet up, or they'll start sexually experimenting with kids of the same sex. And if they don't abstain? You're going to lock them up?
i would rather enforce a law that teachs children to abstain. A 12year old cant assume any responsibility so why should they play with things that have consequences that they cant comprehend. Its damaging to have a 12yr old abort a child (emotionally damaging to any woman, dont matter young or old)and also its damaging to have them engage in sexual activities prematurely. Government and communities should rather focus in teaching kids to abstain not hand out condoms at schools
Was this study done only about girls?
What is sexualised dressing??
I do remember a post by Miss Mimi (?) about girls reaching puberty by the age of 10. So once that stage reaches, do they still be considered as children?
You'd rather a 12 year old give birth?
sad world we live in, children are now exposed to many thing that bring harm to their lives, parents have full responsibility of their children however they cant protect them from everything that is happening in their communities. Even more sad is todays government that passes law that hurt the kids, i can think of one law that totally gets me worked up,that my country passed that allows a child as young as 12yrs to go do an abortion. That is very very sad, even more damaging to these kids.
Most 12 year olds are past believing in fairy tales anyway. 12 is when they start acting more mature and want to be adults.
The whole tanning spray, makeup thing is an issue with older women as well as younger. Our society has major issues with body image at the money (ha ha freudian slip there!) MOMENT, but I think that's a separate issue to infantalizing 12 year olds.
Yes, i do believe that the entry into the early teen years is the ending of childhood.
A century ago, 16/18 year olds were looking for spouses. However, now its more likely in the late twenties.
By forcing, I meant the consumerisation of children. makeup and tanning sprays allowed by parents to encourage adulthood.
The move away from fairytales and make believe into reality .
In many parts of the world--child brides, human trafficking, child soldiers, etc.--it ends even earlier.
But Brit, the idea that a child should be a child at 12/13 is a relatively new idea. A century ago children of that age were expected to hold adult responsibilities and by 16/18 they should have been looking for spouses. So is it that we are forcing the kids "out" of childhood, or, we were forcing them to remain children at an age when their bodies, hormones, brains are telling them they're no longer children?
yes, the media, internet and peer pressure has a lot of influence. However, I do believe that parents must take a good portion of the blame in forcing children 'out" of childhood.