you will really make it sooner or later and you will have to adjust ... when you start seeing the UFOs [Unidentified Floating Objects] in your cup ... :)
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
I cannot prepare tea for myself... He is serving several people at the office, and i just cannot intrude on his territory, "his kingdom", and to start managing there. But he is very helpful guy.. as I said, he knows by now my drinking habits and schedule…he follows it without even any reminders…
KH!!! ..."why did he come to you and not to anybody else?" .. well…. GUESS WHY???..lol…I am the only female at the office, beside two Qatari ladies… and.. don’t you think coz I am sweet, and I look like I never say “NO”…. hey hey hey guys.. .. don’t switch on your wild imagination!!
As per my opinion ask him for wat purpose he needs money.. if it is a genuine case then give him. after all their salary is less 1000 riyals per month.
preparing my own coffee and I have no issues if the guy will ask me :) Did not face this one up to now so I don't know how to react ..
I will of course ask him for what he needs the money and ... will tell him that I can help him this time but he should be careful about his budget as if i were able to help him this time I may not next time as i have also my financial issues to take care of :)
Just simple like that, our office boy was really nice and he was asking me if i need to cash my Cheques back then and would never even accept anything from me for this service ... so what I was doing .. I will buy sometimes a sandwich and another for him ... will share some food or drinks with him ... as he was always refusing to take any money and will tell me ... we are just friends .... no money from friends :)
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
for a 50 to 100 QRs loan, we are consuming something like 1000 man hours.
the point is:
why did he come to you and not to anybody else?
the reason for reauesting the money
did he check with HR and ask for an advance payment/loan?
had it been a sort of first and last incident, then it is fine to help with reasonable amount. be careful. he might start building confidence and high credit rating, hence increase the facilities limits then.... you can imagine the story
Nope...don't give...lending money to whoever causes bad vibes.....safer just to say no.....plus, where would it end? a little here a little there..a bigger sob story every time? Nah, steer clear. I'm not tight or uncharitable, I just think with working relationships, money should be left out of the equation.....
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
if I were you QS, i will give the amount i can give and called it for charity (with hope God repay me back) but i told him in his face this is the first and the last.
khalaass untill next time i can give small money when i asked him to do something more then his job description.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
Is he in need? Can you help him, even though you feel that he may not be able to pay back? If you're uncomfortable lending money , then say No, otherwise help the poor guy out and the Lord will smile on you!
I read a lot of the threads above, but stopped when someone said that the guy was trying to get you in the sack and about the little shared secret stuff. Guys, dont get carried away!!!!!
What is wrong with you all?
Teaboys here are used to get money here and there from the people working in the office and whom he brings tea to.
Qatarisun, you know this guy only for 1 month right. Is it you or he who came to the company?
As I said, dont lend him money. Either you give him something every so now and then or do not do anything. If he is the one who joined only 1 month ago he might be using you..... You can give him a little money. But dont over do it. You do not want him to get in the habit of knocking on your door for more everytime he feels like it....
Anyway, it seems that your inner voice tells you that something is not right. I am a great believer of inner voices. They tell you a lot. Follow this inner voice.
i think you shud gv him a amount which u think is appropite enuf for him...but i suggest always gv to the needy and poor bcause the always bless you back....
no tom i'm still on duty, tuesday off and wednesday take off.......i'm serious if u really want me as intermdiaray person i can do it for u....but if u see that's not a big deal it's ok.
i can manage the amount. it's not about the sum, its about the idea.. ok, forget it.... i wll give him some money tomorrow...he is a nice guy and maybe he really needs it...
Ok QS, i think now i can understand what ur feeling about that.....
there is one proverb says....the best solution to resolve a problem is to avoid it....
if you have any doubt about what's happening with this guy it's preferable to say sorry i want to help you but i can not....that's it...sometime we have to know how to say No.......
no doubts, giving away is pleasure.. We are not talking theoretically now..the certain situation is given.
Here is your boss and here you are. Would you ASK your boss for money?
I like to give gifts.. I like to give EXPENSIVE gifts. ..and i have said, i always drop coins to the boxes of the street beggers... but this situation is different.. try to understand what i mean...
Probably we spend that amount of money in five minutes just to have a cocktail, in a fancy bar, and in the end not even enjoy it...often in Qatar.
If you think twice, you'll know that, sure he didn't use the money to buy alcohol, cause he doesn't have permit, cigarrets are cheap, porn does not exist here, etheir drugs....
Maybe the guy use the money to have some few better meals, considering what they eat here daily to survive, our he just send the money back home to pakilandia, and make is wife very happy and proud.
Dont lend money to poor people... give...and if you dont like the ideia, just refuse, but dont forget that, "You only get what you give.'
i don't mind to help those who in the urgent situation.. or I can help my friends.. nothing wrong with that... one of my very close friends told me once: I would never ever asked you if i wouldn't TRUST you... it means we came to the point of total trust and understanding, when to give money is not a shame anymore...
I did that once. (officeboy) He asked me for some money as his son was getting married... asked for 750 and then asked for 250 more the day before his flight.
I did not see the money for 8 months inspite of by the 4th month i used to remind him on salary day....and i finally saw like 250 of it on the 8th month.
and then 100 per month and then payment stopped at 850.
when i asked him, he said he finished paying me and i was mistaken......
its sooo p*ssing off...
if ur giving it ask for a payback date..... on that date ask for the money. if it comes its fine...otherwise ask every alternate day. after all its my hard earned money.
Its one thing being charitable, but why give it off to a lying person who says he is goin to pay it back....he'd better.
Money can buy happiness, according to a new study by University of B.C. psychologist Elizabeth Dunn. Even spending $5 in the right way can make you happier.
But people usually get it wrong when they try.
Ms. Dunn had always been nagged by the notion that money can't buy happiness. Reliable research across the developed world finds that once a person's basic needs are being met, surging incomes are only marginally related to happiness. A wealthy nation is not necessarily a happy nation.
People usually predict that spending on themselves will make them happy, but it doesn't.
"I wondered if maybe we just weren't doing it right," said Ms. Dunn.
Ms. Dunn and her colleagues -- UBC grad student Lara Aknin and Harvard researcher Michael Norton -- designed and conducted a survey on money, happiness and giving.
They found greater happiness among people who give money to charity and buy gifts for friends, regardless of income...
you got it! that's what bothering me most of all.. that he is a guy! I mean, if it was a girl, i would definitely give her... but the guy.. and noo, we are not friends...as i said, the guy almost doesn't speak english.. we cannot really communicate... but he is very very nice to me at work.. during his first month at the office he learnt all my drinking habbits and follow stick with them up to one minute, even without reminding.. he knows that in the morning when I walk into the office, i need to have two bottles of water on my desk. He knows what time I like to have juice (he know what kind of juice i preffer), he knows when to serve tea/coffee...he is good and I could feel that he just takes care of me...(and that's what i don't really like!!)..so.. again.. I really hesitate to give him money... may be because he is a GUY. or may be because as you said, it might become "our secret", which i definitely wouldn't like... I don't want to shorten the distance between us...
in this life there are some people were created to be poor and there are others to be rich, so the right thing is that the rich people have to help them, but it's preferable that these poor people utilise another way to ask for help. not straight!!.....give me money!!....they could explain their difficulties for living and how they suffering with their small salaries....and there is with out doubt someone whom could give them help.
in my ideology and by principle. the real man (women) sould never lay his/her hand for asking help. let this help come from god through the nice rich people.
no!Absolutely not! what a bloody cheek! Ask him to ask someone else! He's only asking cos u earn more money, I wouldn't dream of asking my manager for money! It just isn't done!
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
If he needs money because he say's he hasn't received his cheque and needs money for food, give him 50QR so he can eat. He shouln't need 300QR if his cheque is late by a day or 2.
It depends on how much money is he going to ask... If i can afford to why not even he will not give it back.... It is not my problem anymore. God knows who do good or not.
every month for more than a year and half. I also gave her 100QR for her birthday and 500QR for a bonus each year. She was a good maid and I felt sorry for her circumstances, but I was being taken advantage of in the end and had to put a stop to it. I have family members of my own that I am helping to support and can't be the world's bank.
I say help someone once, if you feel capable, but don't feel bad if you stop at that. We all do what we can.
it's a bit different since your maid worked for you! if you apreciate her job, you could give it to her as a bonus or whatever... but the tea-boy is not working for me...
I always give money to the beggers in Toronto. I know: they are beggers, and I treat them as beggers. I just drop the coin into their box and pass by.. but here this is your co-worker on one hand (even though he is a tea boy, we still have the same sponsor/employer!) , but is not your friend (or even someone who your really know) on the other hand...
again, Tigasin, it's not about getting my loan back or not...
guys, imagine quickly! how many of you would ask your boss or CEO of your company for "lending" money? Don't say: how can you compare.
Some make QR500, some make QR5000, some make QR 50,000. My question is: is that OK for those who makes QR 5000 to ask those who makes QR 50,000 for money? leave aside the amount and the question about whether it will be returned or not. IT IS AN IDEOLOGICAL QUESTUION.
My maid begin by asking for a salary advance one time, then it became every month. Then her son's tuition was due, can she take another advance? , then her dad died, then her mom died, then her sister's baby died, then her sister died, then her dad died (again!) Then her husband died and she wanted 4,000QR to buy a house. That's when I had enough and sacked her.
Just make sure he isn't asking everybody else in the dept for a loan also. I know of a teaboy in another company who tried this trick and generous people lent him money. It was found out he was lying and trying to scam money out of people and he was sacked. I don't feel bad for him at all.
I lent one of our security guards QR500 and a month later he paid me back. The office boy asked me for QR300 and I lent it to him. He didn't pay me back but I don't care. He is a good guy and he is honest and reliable. If he can't pay me back I will not embarrass him by asking for it. It doesn't mean much to me but I think it means quite a lot to him.
Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about
I just gave my officeboy and both the cleaners in my department 100QR each. They never ask for money and have been working in my department for 2 years. So every 6 months or so, I'll give them each some money. I don't care what they do with it, but I know one of them is putting his younger brother through school on his little salary in Qatar. I don't know any officeboys or cleaners here that aren't expected to help their families back home with the pittance they are getting here.
I feel better knowing that I am helping them out a little bit, even if it seems insignificant.
An officer used to give a needier QR 100 every month this went on for some time then he got married his expenses went up so he started giving 75 later on got a child he reduced it to 50 the needy person asked him sir before you used to give me QR 1000 n now I am getting only 50 why like this the officer said before I was single and now I have a wife and kid to take care the needy person said ohhhh so you are supporting your family with my money
second, we assume that i DO have this amount of money.. if you ask me for 2,000,000 i wouldn't give it to you coz I don't have it in cash!... but if you ask me for the 1/3 of this amount and we prepare the lending agreement at the laywer's office, why not?
on time my driver asked me to give him 50 qr and he said he'll return it to me....i given him witout any contraint.....and i never asked him to return it to me.....now since more then 8 months.....but if he wants to borrow another time......he can be sure that i'll refuse coz there is about principle not about 50 qr!
well.. to be honest, i think it will be a big scandal if someone will know about it... there are only me and the office assistant and this tea boy (who asked me for money) at the office right now.. there is no one else.. (well, i am as usual stuck with QL, that's why i am still here...)
but i think if somebody knows it will be a big issue...
These people make very little money. The practice here is that if they take good care of you, bring you your tea or coffee when you want it. When they do little "extra" things for you i.e. photo copying, quick service etc. give them some money. This is QR 5 or 10.- depending on what he did for you. Sort of like a reward.
Don't lend money. Only give them little extras when you are happy with them. And do this on a regular basis.
it happened many times with me with all the office i have been work with. the office boy always come to me and ask for money. and so far, i help them as much as i can and i always told them, that today i can help you but dont expect for next time, in other notes: lucky I got money now otherwise sorry buddy!!!!
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
example he dont have any money to buy food as whole his salary he sent to his home country, or his sick and need to buy some medicine, you know some good reason. just follow your heart QS, like someone said above, but tell him this is will be the last one from you.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
If I have money, why not! but if i dont have. sorry! its better to give than to receive. but qatarisun the decision is yours. just listen to your heart if your heart says not now... its not a problem! and if your heart says yes.... its not a problem too!
hellow qatarisun its jst up2 u, if u r mind tells to giv..dnt listn nyone..let it be so....aftrall its good deed...if i wer u i wnt giv coz am bittr xperiencd..dats it..
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
if its just a small amount as 50 (not beyond that amount) and it is with really a valid purpose, then its fine.. but the thing is, what if this becomes habitual from the guy?
monetary help is good sometimes...but abusing this gesture from you might be a problem later on.. there's a possibility that your relationship (as your office boy) might get affected coz of this..
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
yeah, he menationed that he is waiting for his salary.. but wait.. we have received our salaries.. usually they transfer it even before the month ends... we got it at the beginning of the last week!
again.. QT.it's not about the AMOUNT!!
it's the ideological issue!! is it appropriate or not??
He is asking you for the 1st time ? although he is new ... I suggest to give him whatever you can! He might be in need of money and we should not ask questions from such people, if he tells u ok !
Tell him to return on his next salary or ask him when he can return the money ? if he returns its fine ... if he don't then don't entertain him in future.
Office is like a family house we should takecare of our staff specially the juniors.
thats why QS, asked him whats the money for? see the reason behind his begging and once your confirmed he got solid reason, give the money but tell him straight that you are happy to help now but dunno about next time
am sure if he got urgent reason otherwise he wont ask right??
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
if you think the need is emergency then give him but not necessarily the amount he's asking for. maybe he really dont have money as he is new. but be careful, he might get spoiled if he sees that ur so accommodating...
our boy in the office, we give him money sometimes not becoz he asked for it but we saw his need for it. it's ok because we sometimes asked him to run some errands for us even if its part of his job.
If you believe, you will receive what you ask for in prayer
wait a bit till you hijack it ok? really, i would like to know more opinions.. and then - go ahead, hijack it... no any probs with that...all right bro?
give him if it's really necessary (to buy foods or medicine or...), if for cigarettes or hala card or.... don't give him he has to wait his salary and to plan it very well....
you think it's ok to give him money? I mean... I am not his friend to lend him. On the other hand, if I give him money, wouldn't it put him down to the same level with the street beggers, who is just begging for some cash?
It's about finding their real needs or lacks. WHat are they lacking: food, blankets, etc. My company tried to run a collection for the labourers working at the company. We collected clothing, blankets, toiletries for them. Thsi worked well. But I avoid giving to individiuals if they just ask. I don't wish to sound like the ignorant Levite in the Good Samaritan story but.....
QS just asked frankly to him whats the money for?? if he can give you good reason why not help them but make sure they understand that you only help when you have money if not sorry khalazzzz = kallie wallie
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
whats he will do with the money? if its urgent matter i dont mind to give money to them. My God, you know how much they make per month?? well in my office they only make 500 basic salary + over time so per month they only make 800 riyal or so.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
he didn't specify the amount... I don't think he will ask for more than QR50-100.. but it's not about the amout as I said... i mean.. is it appropriate to give money to the office boy?? I never had this kind of experience before.. and this office boy is relatively new.. just a bit more then 1 months...
dnt ever entertain, my frnd once gav money next week guy (ofic by) cals up n mob n odd hrs nd askd her 2 transfr 20 riyal to his mobile...dnt let they tke u grantd...Keep a healthy distanc wit collgs. All the best. LOL
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
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on both of you, KH and KE!!!
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
you will really make it sooner or later and you will have to adjust ... when you start seeing the UFOs [Unidentified Floating Objects] in your cup ... :)
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
I agree with you and cannot argue about your sweetness.
Thank God I do not have diabetes
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
I cannot prepare tea for myself... He is serving several people at the office, and i just cannot intrude on his territory, "his kingdom", and to start managing there. But he is very helpful guy.. as I said, he knows by now my drinking habits and schedule…he follows it without even any reminders…
KH!!! ..."why did he come to you and not to anybody else?" .. well…. GUESS WHY???..lol…I am the only female at the office, beside two Qatari ladies… and.. don’t you think coz I am sweet, and I look like I never say “NO”…. hey hey hey guys.. .. don’t switch on your wild imagination!!
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
Hi QS, keep your decision in secret, that is only right way to solve unpleasant case. Whatever you decide you will be right!
As per my opinion ask him for wat purpose he needs money.. if it is a genuine case then give him. after all their salary is less 1000 riyals per month.
preparing my own coffee and I have no issues if the guy will ask me :) Did not face this one up to now so I don't know how to react ..
I will of course ask him for what he needs the money and ... will tell him that I can help him this time but he should be careful about his budget as if i were able to help him this time I may not next time as i have also my financial issues to take care of :)
Just simple like that, our office boy was really nice and he was asking me if i need to cash my Cheques back then and would never even accept anything from me for this service ... so what I was doing .. I will buy sometimes a sandwich and another for him ... will share some food or drinks with him ... as he was always refusing to take any money and will tell me ... we are just friends .... no money from friends :)
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. (Gautama Buddha)
for a 50 to 100 QRs loan, we are consuming something like 1000 man hours.
the point is:
why did he come to you and not to anybody else?
the reason for reauesting the money
did he check with HR and ask for an advance payment/loan?
had it been a sort of first and last incident, then it is fine to help with reasonable amount. be careful. he might start building confidence and high credit rating, hence increase the facilities limits then.... you can imagine the story
===================================== http://www.qatarliving.com/node/58409
Nope...don't give...lending money to whoever causes bad vibes.....safer just to say no.....plus, where would it end? a little here a little there..a bigger sob story every time? Nah, steer clear. I'm not tight or uncharitable, I just think with working relationships, money should be left out of the equation.....
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
if I were you QS, i will give the amount i can give and called it for charity (with hope God repay me back) but i told him in his face this is the first and the last.
khalaass untill next time i can give small money when i asked him to do something more then his job description.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
Is he in need? Can you help him, even though you feel that he may not be able to pay back? If you're uncomfortable lending money , then say No, otherwise help the poor guy out and the Lord will smile on you!
I read a lot of the threads above, but stopped when someone said that the guy was trying to get you in the sack and about the little shared secret stuff. Guys, dont get carried away!!!!!
What is wrong with you all?
Teaboys here are used to get money here and there from the people working in the office and whom he brings tea to.
Qatarisun, you know this guy only for 1 month right. Is it you or he who came to the company?
As I said, dont lend him money. Either you give him something every so now and then or do not do anything. If he is the one who joined only 1 month ago he might be using you..... You can give him a little money. But dont over do it. You do not want him to get in the habit of knocking on your door for more everytime he feels like it....
Anyway, it seems that your inner voice tells you that something is not right. I am a great believer of inner voices. They tell you a lot. Follow this inner voice.
Aisha-Taweela
it's just not on to ask like that.
***********
"There's this thing called being so open-minded your brains drop out". - Richard Dawkins
i think you shud gv him a amount which u think is appropite enuf for him...but i suggest always gv to the needy and poor bcause the always bless you back....
tc
no tom i'm still on duty, tuesday off and wednesday take off.......i'm serious if u really want me as intermdiaray person i can do it for u....but if u see that's not a big deal it's ok.
i see.. thank you.. really.. but you are leaving tomorrow right?
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
QS i'm not talking about amount also, just wanna help you how to give him this money.....
i can manage the amount. it's not about the sum, its about the idea.. ok, forget it.... i wll give him some money tomorrow...he is a nice guy and maybe he really needs it...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
if u really want to help him, maybe i could help you on that....
qatarisun...be curt to people who take you for granted.
You can tell you too dont have the money. Whether he believes it or not would
not be any of your concern.
Ok QS, i think now i can understand what ur feeling about that.....
there is one proverb says....the best solution to resolve a problem is to avoid it....
if you have any doubt about what's happening with this guy it's preferable to say sorry i want to help you but i can not....that's it...sometime we have to know how to say No.......
no doubts, giving away is pleasure.. We are not talking theoretically now..the certain situation is given.
Here is your boss and here you are. Would you ASK your boss for money?
I like to give gifts.. I like to give EXPENSIVE gifts. ..and i have said, i always drop coins to the boxes of the street beggers... but this situation is different.. try to understand what i mean...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
What a big subject we've here....
Probably we spend that amount of money in five minutes just to have a cocktail, in a fancy bar, and in the end not even enjoy it...often in Qatar.
If you think twice, you'll know that, sure he didn't use the money to buy alcohol, cause he doesn't have permit, cigarrets are cheap, porn does not exist here, etheir drugs....
Maybe the guy use the money to have some few better meals, considering what they eat here daily to survive, our he just send the money back home to pakilandia, and make is wife very happy and proud.
Dont lend money to poor people... give...and if you dont like the ideia, just refuse, but dont forget that, "You only get what you give.'
Check mate.....
i don't mind to help those who in the urgent situation.. or I can help my friends.. nothing wrong with that... one of my very close friends told me once: I would never ever asked you if i wouldn't TRUST you... it means we came to the point of total trust and understanding, when to give money is not a shame anymore...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
I borrowed QR 9500 and lost both money & so called friend
I did that once. (officeboy) He asked me for some money as his son was getting married... asked for 750 and then asked for 250 more the day before his flight.
I did not see the money for 8 months inspite of by the 4th month i used to remind him on salary day....and i finally saw like 250 of it on the 8th month.
and then 100 per month and then payment stopped at 850.
when i asked him, he said he finished paying me and i was mistaken......
its sooo p*ssing off...
if ur giving it ask for a payback date..... on that date ask for the money. if it comes its fine...otherwise ask every alternate day. after all its my hard earned money.
Its one thing being charitable, but why give it off to a lying person who says he is goin to pay it back....he'd better.
Giving money away makes you happier, study finds
Money can buy happiness, according to a new study by University of B.C. psychologist Elizabeth Dunn. Even spending $5 in the right way can make you happier.
But people usually get it wrong when they try.
Ms. Dunn had always been nagged by the notion that money can't buy happiness. Reliable research across the developed world finds that once a person's basic needs are being met, surging incomes are only marginally related to happiness. A wealthy nation is not necessarily a happy nation.
People usually predict that spending on themselves will make them happy, but it doesn't.
"I wondered if maybe we just weren't doing it right," said Ms. Dunn.
Ms. Dunn and her colleagues -- UBC grad student Lara Aknin and Harvard researcher Michael Norton -- designed and conducted a survey on money, happiness and giving.
They found greater happiness among people who give money to charity and buy gifts for friends, regardless of income...
full article:
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=389298
you got it! that's what bothering me most of all.. that he is a guy! I mean, if it was a girl, i would definitely give her... but the guy.. and noo, we are not friends...as i said, the guy almost doesn't speak english.. we cannot really communicate... but he is very very nice to me at work.. during his first month at the office he learnt all my drinking habbits and follow stick with them up to one minute, even without reminding.. he knows that in the morning when I walk into the office, i need to have two bottles of water on my desk. He knows what time I like to have juice (he know what kind of juice i preffer), he knows when to serve tea/coffee...he is good and I could feel that he just takes care of me...(and that's what i don't really like!!)..so.. again.. I really hesitate to give him money... may be because he is a GUY. or may be because as you said, it might become "our secret", which i definitely wouldn't like... I don't want to shorten the distance between us...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
in this life there are some people were created to be poor and there are others to be rich, so the right thing is that the rich people have to help them, but it's preferable that these poor people utilise another way to ask for help. not straight!!.....give me money!!....they could explain their difficulties for living and how they suffering with their small salaries....and there is with out doubt someone whom could give them help.
in my ideology and by principle. the real man (women) sould never lay his/her hand for asking help. let this help come from god through the nice rich people.
qatarisun .......Dont give ....
Its just not appropriate to ask the opposite sex for
money. Whether for loan or other wise. If he cannot ask his male collegues for money then he has no right to ask you.
I guess you have become too friendly with him & talk too much to him.
Now its a completely different thing if you are close friends.
Put your foot down. Just say you dont have it. Plain and simple.
If he doesnt care about putting you in such a dilemma why do you care of his feelings.
I guess he is trying to get you in the sack. This is his way of getting close to
you. Once you give it becomes your "Secret", and he becomes more daring.
I know of a few guys who have attempted such stuff.
no!Absolutely not! what a bloody cheek! Ask him to ask someone else! He's only asking cos u earn more money, I wouldn't dream of asking my manager for money! It just isn't done!
"It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid." - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
If he needs money because he say's he hasn't received his cheque and needs money for food, give him 50QR so he can eat. He shouln't need 300QR if his cheque is late by a day or 2.
It depends on how much money is he going to ask... If i can afford to why not even he will not give it back.... It is not my problem anymore. God knows who do good or not.
Have a nice day!
every month for more than a year and half. I also gave her 100QR for her birthday and 500QR for a bonus each year. She was a good maid and I felt sorry for her circumstances, but I was being taken advantage of in the end and had to put a stop to it. I have family members of my own that I am helping to support and can't be the world's bank.
I say help someone once, if you feel capable, but don't feel bad if you stop at that. We all do what we can.
I appreciate what you are trying to say, but it is not an idealogical question.
You and I make enough to survive and cover costs. These people don't!
Simple!
it's a bit different since your maid worked for you! if you apreciate her job, you could give it to her as a bonus or whatever... but the tea-boy is not working for me...
I always give money to the beggers in Toronto. I know: they are beggers, and I treat them as beggers. I just drop the coin into their box and pass by.. but here this is your co-worker on one hand (even though he is a tea boy, we still have the same sponsor/employer!) , but is not your friend (or even someone who your really know) on the other hand...
again, Tigasin, it's not about getting my loan back or not...
guys, imagine quickly! how many of you would ask your boss or CEO of your company for "lending" money? Don't say: how can you compare.
Some make QR500, some make QR5000, some make QR 50,000. My question is: is that OK for those who makes QR 5000 to ask those who makes QR 50,000 for money? leave aside the amount and the question about whether it will be returned or not. IT IS AN IDEOLOGICAL QUESTUION.
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
If it's not about anything and you don't mind.. then what is the problem??
-------------------------------------------------------------
Life is nothing without friends.... :)
QL.... just a (very nice) way of live..... :)
Funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ha ha ha
By the way how many times u gave her as advanced Salary ?
"Drink Beer Save Water"
My maid begin by asking for a salary advance one time, then it became every month. Then her son's tuition was due, can she take another advance? , then her dad died, then her mom died, then her sister's baby died, then her sister died, then her dad died (again!) Then her husband died and she wanted 4,000QR to buy a house. That's when I had enough and sacked her.
Just make sure he isn't asking everybody else in the dept for a loan also. I know of a teaboy in another company who tried this trick and generous people lent him money. It was found out he was lying and trying to scam money out of people and he was sacked. I don't feel bad for him at all.
QS , Are you happy with your decision?
charan you are funny!
Life is beautiful !!!
actually it will be depend on how u know the person who borrowing the money and if he / she really knows how to pay on time.
"Even if LOVE is full of thorns, embrace it. For in between those thorns there is a ROSE that's worth all the PAIN."
I lent one of our security guards QR500 and a month later he paid me back. The office boy asked me for QR300 and I lent it to him. He didn't pay me back but I don't care. He is a good guy and he is honest and reliable. If he can't pay me back I will not embarrass him by asking for it. It doesn't mean much to me but I think it means quite a lot to him.
Just call me Tigasin. That's what I'm talking about
I just gave my officeboy and both the cleaners in my department 100QR each. They never ask for money and have been working in my department for 2 years. So every 6 months or so, I'll give them each some money. I don't care what they do with it, but I know one of them is putting his younger brother through school on his little salary in Qatar. I don't know any officeboys or cleaners here that aren't expected to help their families back home with the pittance they are getting here.
I feel better knowing that I am helping them out a little bit, even if it seems insignificant.
i hope he dsnt log onto QL and find out he is a topic in here :)
Yes, he may be in need of food or some emergency but 300QR is too much if you compare it to his salary,
I think you should say you can loan him, or give him 50QR but your salary is also needed to pay your own bills etc so you cannot loan him 300.
Hope you make the right choice xx
If you spend all your time judging people, you will have no time to love them.
but I haven't got a scooby-doo what he is saying. Anybody know a good translator?
"You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks"
An officer used to give a needier QR 100 every month this went on for some time then he got married his expenses went up so he started giving 75 later on got a child he reduced it to 50 the needy person asked him sir before you used to give me QR 1000 n now I am getting only 50 why like this the officer said before I was single and now I have a wife and kid to take care the needy person said ohhhh so you are supporting your family with my money
[img_assist|nid=50852|title=hmm|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
Alexa - I am an Office Boy & I make Decent Salary
QS - which company you are working for I want to join you. These buggers didn't pay my Salary until today :(
If you think he is geniune, give it to him. Whats the worst that can happen?
If not, tell him NO.
You seem like an intelligent person. Trust your instinct!
i hate cash.. cash disapears in 2 minutes, regardless to amount...
so i told him i'll give him some amount tomorrow...
**********
[img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]
Copyright©Mr.PAUL
i agree with speeds idea you have to help each other....
Sorry.
whats for the 300 riyal QS???
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
sure, as long as i know that he is a good person, and i will not ask it back,
second, we assume that i DO have this amount of money.. if you ask me for 2,000,000 i wouldn't give it to you coz I don't have it in cash!... but if you ask me for the 1/3 of this amount and we prepare the lending agreement at the laywer's office, why not?
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
300riyal??? what this for QS???
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
on time my driver asked me to give him 50 qr and he said he'll return it to me....i given him witout any contraint.....and i never asked him to return it to me.....now since more then 8 months.....but if he wants to borrow another time......he can be sure that i'll refuse coz there is about principle not about 50 qr!
and the purpose of this amount is for?
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
It's not about being rich catsniper coz I'm not rich.
My salary is enough to support myself and family and to give little for those who need and for him to make good coffee is fine with me
he said: ONLY QR300...
well.. to be honest, i think it will be a big scandal if someone will know about it... there are only me and the office assistant and this tea boy (who asked me for money) at the office right now.. there is no one else.. (well, i am as usual stuck with QL, that's why i am still here...)
but i think if somebody knows it will be a big issue...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
yes agreed with aisha totally. thats what i do now.. i give them rewards once they done what i asked them to do.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
These people make very little money. The practice here is that if they take good care of you, bring you your tea or coffee when you want it. When they do little "extra" things for you i.e. photo copying, quick service etc. give them some money. This is QR 5 or 10.- depending on what he did for you. Sort of like a reward.
Don't lend money. Only give them little extras when you are happy with them. And do this on a regular basis.
Aisha-Taweela
it happened many times with me with all the office i have been work with. the office boy always come to me and ask for money. and so far, i help them as much as i can and i always told them, that today i can help you but dont expect for next time, in other notes: lucky I got money now otherwise sorry buddy!!!!
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
Ok, may I borrow 2,000,000 Riyals please, I need to buy an apartment!
Thanks
Hmmmm,
well qatarisun its common in every office...
office boys ask money from every one in the office and some of them give them the money and thats their upper income....
Life is a mystery..... you never know whats next.....
give him and tell him that next time you will not be in a position to lend him money unless it's extreme emergency case.
One more thing ,,, if he is asking from more people then becareful ... thas my experience
Rest God knows better !
[img_assist|nid=53652|title=|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]
example he dont have any money to buy food as whole his salary he sent to his home country, or his sick and need to buy some medicine, you know some good reason. just follow your heart QS, like someone said above, but tell him this is will be the last one from you.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
If I have money, why not! but if i dont have. sorry! its better to give than to receive. but qatarisun the decision is yours. just listen to your heart if your heart says not now... its not a problem! and if your heart says yes.... its not a problem too!
Life is beautiful !!!
I agree with speed....if you can afford to, give him the money, it maybe a once off request.
hmmmm...qatarisun...better prepare yourself your own coffee next time (bad idea from catsniper)...:D
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
he nearly doesn't speak english.. i even hardly could understand that he is asking for money...
damn it! really don't know what to do.. and how much to give (IF???)
and what is the "solid reason", Mila??
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
You are a sweet girl ... the word like begging does not suits your
he is in need of money which he will retun so it's "lending"
[img_assist|nid=53652|title=|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]
owen u r absolutly right? if he is n abusiv track, its enuf for u to get a bad cofee evryday moning,....LOL
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
I'm 100% agreed with Speed's Idea...
there is no harm in helping him at least once...
“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”
Martin Luther King.
hellow qatarisun its jst up2 u, if u r mind tells to giv..dnt listn nyone..let it be so....aftrall its good deed...if i wer u i wnt giv coz am bittr xperiencd..dats it..
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
if its just a small amount as 50 (not beyond that amount) and it is with really a valid purpose, then its fine.. but the thing is, what if this becomes habitual from the guy?
monetary help is good sometimes...but abusing this gesture from you might be a problem later on.. there's a possibility that your relationship (as your office boy) might get affected coz of this..
[img_assist|nid=12867|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0]Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
yeah, he menationed that he is waiting for his salary.. but wait.. we have received our salaries.. usually they transfer it even before the month ends... we got it at the beginning of the last week!
again.. QT.it's not about the AMOUNT!!
it's the ideological issue!! is it appropriate or not??
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
He is asking you for the 1st time ? although he is new ... I suggest to give him whatever you can! He might be in need of money and we should not ask questions from such people, if he tells u ok !
Tell him to return on his next salary or ask him when he can return the money ? if he returns its fine ... if he don't then don't entertain him in future.
Office is like a family house we should takecare of our staff specially the juniors.
God bless you
[img_assist|nid=53652|title=|desc=|link=none|align=center|width=|height=0]
thats why QS, asked him whats the money for? see the reason behind his begging and once your confirmed he got solid reason, give the money but tell him straight that you are happy to help now but dunno about next time
am sure if he got urgent reason otherwise he wont ask right??
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
if you think the need is emergency then give him but not necessarily the amount he's asking for. maybe he really dont have money as he is new. but be careful, he might get spoiled if he sees that ur so accommodating...
our boy in the office, we give him money sometimes not becoz he asked for it but we saw his need for it. it's ok because we sometimes asked him to run some errands for us even if its part of his job.
If you believe, you will receive what you ask for in prayer
LOL ..hmmmm
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
wait a bit till you hijack it ok? really, i would like to know more opinions.. and then - go ahead, hijack it... no any probs with that...all right bro?
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
give him if it's really necessary (to buy foods or medicine or...), if for cigarettes or hala card or.... don't give him he has to wait his salary and to plan it very well....
For that amount, I think you should give it to him as a gift and not a loan!
He'll appreciate it, and you've done a good deed!
if its something like 50 or 100,give the money and forget about it,
you think it's ok to give him money? I mean... I am not his friend to lend him. On the other hand, if I give him money, wouldn't it put him down to the same level with the street beggers, who is just begging for some cash?
I am talking here about the subordination...
amount dosn't matter!
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
if u realy wan 2 giv nd hav lot as rich as tatit, then givaway...he will make nice tea/cofee for u...he he witout watr nd full of sugar...NJOY
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Your office boy is much better. My office boy is asking me to fix a date with Panda :)
It's about finding their real needs or lacks. WHat are they lacking: food, blankets, etc. My company tried to run a collection for the labourers working at the company. We collected clothing, blankets, toiletries for them. Thsi worked well. But I avoid giving to individiuals if they just ask. I don't wish to sound like the ignorant Levite in the Good Samaritan story but.....
QS just asked frankly to him whats the money for?? if he can give you good reason why not help them but make sure they understand that you only help when you have money if not sorry khalazzzz = kallie wallie
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
I asked how much!
Qatarisun, did you ask him what it was for?
Okie QT ...
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
if u wan 2 help, thn go hed as tatit says, tel him not to giv bak :) LOL
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
whats he will do with the money? if its urgent matter i dont mind to give money to them. My God, you know how much they make per month?? well in my office they only make 500 basic salary + over time so per month they only make 800 riyal or so.
Everybody is right everybody is wrong it depends where you stand.
he didn't specify the amount... I don't think he will ask for more than QR50-100.. but it's not about the amout as I said... i mean.. is it appropriate to give money to the office boy?? I never had this kind of experience before.. and this office boy is relatively new.. just a bit more then 1 months...
really don't know what to do...
********** [img_assist|nid=102563|title=QS|desc=|link=none|align=left|width=|height=0] Copyright©Mr.PAUL
betr wactcha outta wit colgus...Money matters worst !!!!!
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
I would and even if he will not return the money i woudn't mind as my salary is far more bigger that what they have.
For me it's not about giving it's about helping them a little.
QT its Money......LOL
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
What did he ask for?
dnt ever entertain, my frnd once gav money next week guy (ofic by) cals up n mob n odd hrs nd askd her 2 transfr 20 riyal to his mobile...dnt let they tke u grantd...Keep a healthy distanc wit collgs. All the best. LOL
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?