An old jokeHope you'll smile
To send a man to pluto, NASA shortlisted three astranauts from USA,Russia and India respectively.As it is a risky task and had very less chance to return to earth, NASA kept an open budget for the candidates' demands.
Interviewer: How much do you want, to have you sent to Pluto??
American: One million US$
Interviewer: Why??
American: For my family
Next came the Russian...
Interviewer: How much will you need??
Russian: Two million US$
Interviewer: Can I ask why??
Russian: One million for my family and the other million for my country.
It was the the Indian's turn...
Interviewer: How much ..............???
Indian: 3 million
Interviewer: I am surprised. Are you aware that the American just need one million,and the russian asked for two??
Indian: Yes I am.
Interviewer: So why do you need three million??
Indian: I'll take one million for myself, give you one million and with the left one million, we will send the American to Pluto...
Speciality Spliffs
Copper, Colt and Senti are sitting in a room smoking wacky bacci. After a few spliffs they run out of gear. Copper stands up and says
'Look, we've got loads more tobacco, I'll just nip into the kitchen and make one of my speciality spliffs.'
Off he goes into the kitchen where he takes some Cumin, Turmeric and a couple of other spices from the spice rack, grinds them up and rolls them into a spliff.
On his return he hands it to Senti who lights it and takes a long drag. Within seconds he passes out. Ten minutes go by and he is still out cold, so the others decide to take him to hospital.
On arrival the nurses immediately take him to intensive care. A doctor returns to the friends and asks
'So what have you been doing then? Smoking illegal substances?'
'Well sort of', replies Copper, 'But we ran out of gear, so I made a home-made spliff.'
'Ahh' replies the doctor, 'And what did you put in it?'
'Oh, just a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a couple of other spices.'
The doctor sighs. 'Well that explains it.'
'Why, what's wrong with our friend?' asks Colt.
'He's in a korma' replies the doctor.
Yes u r right in each nation there is a community who targeted
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
Jauntie jokes about me and copper.?lol
Sardar went to the restaurant and asked for the break fast.
Sardar Which is the hot break fast here ?
Waiter Parautha sir
Sardar Nothing is hot than parautha?
Waiter Why not ? We have Aluchop
Sarar Do u have any hot thins after aluchop ? What is the hottest thins in this restaurant ?
Waiter We have fire sir.
Sarder AH ok Give me one plate Fire.
"Drink Beer Save Water"
I think just about any jokes like these can be altered to be directed at ANY nationality (or blonds) :D
Irish jokes, become Polish jokes, become Red Neck jokes, become Sardar jokes etc etc
All good fun :o)
Sardar Jokes are very common in India. They are the equivalent of Blonde Jokes in the United States.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
That is a very old joke, but it was ALWAYS about Admiral Nelson - now you have him as a Pirate Captain!!!
The French would be proud of your interpretation ROFL
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
A young girl hadn't been feeling well, so she went to her family doctor. The doctor ran some tests and then told her she was pregnant.
The girl said, "I can't be! The only men I've been around are nudists from my colony and we only practice sex with our eyes."
"Well, my dear," said the doctor. "Someone in that colony must be cockeyed."
Copper and Senti were in a lifeboat after their ship sank in a storm.
After hours of floating aimlessly, Senti spotted an old lamp in the boat. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously.
To the amazement of the castaways, a genie appeared. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter Senti blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two lads considered their circumstances. Copper looked disgustedly at Senti whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension filled moment, he said ..."Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"
Santa Singh was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. He wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, Santa shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, Santa turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching himself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted Santa standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward him. He took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then Santa flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
A 2 seater plain crashed into a graveyard.
The police found 200 dead bodies,still searching for more victims.
Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
I got to laugh on this one......LOL
They believe they are like Angels, No sex complications and retraces. LOL
Did you hear about the gay Pope?
He couldn't decide if he was divine or simply gorgeous.
They passed all tests except LOGIC.So they decided to get trained on it.
Two weeks later,Santa Singh,one of the sardars went to Banta Singh's residence
Santa: This Logic is really getting on my nerves.I cant understand anything!!
Banta: No..It's simple.May be I can help you.
Santa: Ok..Please
Banta: Do you have a fish at home??
Santa: Yes.I do
Banta: Is it growing up?
Santa: Indeed
Banta: This means thee should be someone to feed it
Santa: That's right
Banta: As you are rarely home,it should be your wife who feeds it.
Santa: Right
Banta: See,I know you are hetro sexual.
Santa: Bravo..Thank you so much.Now I know logic
Santa then went to Kanta's hous,the third candidate.
Santa: Can you believe i just learnt logic from Banta??
Kanta: MAn.THis logic aint easy.I need help
Santa: Ok.Let me help you.It's quite simple.I am going to ask you few questions
KAnta: Alright
Santa: Do you have a fish at home??
Kanta: No
Santa: Silly homo sexual...
HUH?
Amitabh in KBC : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
An old man died in child age.
"Drink Beer Save Water"
A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
It's RAYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Sardar's wife (during sex): u r fcuking me with the same condom for the 5th time!
Sardar: expiry date on the condom is 8/2009, i'm not a fool to throw it.
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1800 QL Points!!!
Yay! Way to go Ray!
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www.e4u.name.qa
How do you think you will drag senti from his bed,when you will be snoring in your bed at that time!!!
Laugh on this one.
A Malaysian Doctor wanted to go hunting, he calls his orderly Santa Singh and tells him "Santa, I am going hunting tomorrow, we don't want to close the clinic, I ask you to take care of our patients".
"Yes, sir......" answers Santa.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks:
"So Santa, how was your day?". Santa tells him he took care of 3 patients.
The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL.
"Bravo Santa, and the second one?" says the doctor
"The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Santa.
"Nice one Santa,you're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was seated and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like flame, she undresses herself, taking off her bra and her panties and sleeps on the table and shouts: HELP ME since 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!!!"
"..and what did you do Santa?" asks the doctor
I put eye drops in her eyes!!!!....
when is the next fishing trip? and where and what time and what place...lol!!!
senti am going to drag you out fo ur bed this time for fishin
Herne hmm hmm De Queen was lookin around coz she was scared i might attack her from any corner just wanted to make sure she is safe. so i let her enjoy her first meeting next meeting tell her bring an ambulance with her she might need that to go back with :D
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Should I use the word Indian as Native American race? OR Indus From the Continent?
I'm lost in the usage of the word Indian Man? Why not Indue MAN?
I believe The Indian skin is lighter than yours and they speak Excellent English without a garble accent.
They could drive a million dollars better than the Indus.
And no need to worry about R7, he was totally fine! And he is now I guess! :) Or what did he tell you guys? :)
My fishing trip and darude's coffee evening.
"Drink Beer Save Water"
So Colt, no excuse for the next time, you have to shop up otherwise you will be banned from QL! :)
But the threatening was for Darude! :) We discussed that on QL he is just talking-talking, but in the real life he is scared!!! :) I am curious when you will come Darude! But we are waiting for you with open arms! Desert Queen was also missing you, she checked all the corners looking for you, but couldn't find you anywhere! :D
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his
luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he
worked.This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the
Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant "Why are you so happy?"
The man replied "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my
family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought
the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired. The
advisor replied "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this
servant's doorstep."
DONE
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened
the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were only 99 coins. He wondered "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! "
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive.
Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked,
horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked. Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."
He continued "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have
enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life."
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute
we're given something bigger and better, we want even more!
We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all
these as a price for our growing needs and desires.
That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
"HOPE WE WILL NEVER JOIN THIS "99" CLUB."
There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side
GG - stop halucinating and step into reality... I am a helpful person...ALWAYS!!! :-D
Herne - yeh i know i missed it, my good friend R7 told me bout it and told me how great you guys are... but you see i had some prior commitments to honour and so cud not back down on that one... but hey, if i'm not wasted much after tonite's dinner at a friends place, i will so meet you there... and NO i'm not afraid of you women eating me up... on the contrary... :-))
you girls are evil i like to keep my distance from evil. poor r7 you guys robbed that poor soul lol
no problem will try to arrange for an other bowling event soon with xena.
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Are you here? We were missing you from the coffee evening! How come you never show up? Are you afraid we girls might eat you? :D
Good morning How are you buddy?.....since when did you start showing interst in helping chics...looks like you keep a track of all new comers...lol can I know why?
I never got down to checking that thread again... looked for it, but kinda lost it... anyways, are you guys gonna be at orion tonite for copper's farewell?
Yes, I saw that post, I wrote to her. She didn't contacted me but said thanks to everyone for the infos.:)
were u contacted by another hungarian chick who wanted to know bout life in Doha... i mean i told her pretty much in a nutshell and then i referred her to you, her name was sumthing like Ezster and her nick was fillipe or sumthing like that...
I see it just now.
"Drink Beer Save Water"
I've never heard that before!
Typical Indian... lol!!!
Thank you Copper!
Mys, Mi Amiga... staying late again???? Good Morning to you then!
Cheers!
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"I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never find a companionable solitude"
I haven't heard it before, it's a good one!
Judge not! that you be not judged!
Sorry Copper,
I heard this joke sooooo many times and in sooooo many different versions I just can't smile on it. Please tell another one.
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