Qatar needs co-education
I have a question to all the guys in Qatar. Why do you people always talk about girls and their physique, etc, etc
Why do you look at them with lustful eyes. Why do you keep staring at women. Why do you start offering lifts to girls when you see them standing alone waiting for a taxi. What kind of a satisfaction do you get by looking at women. by following them by making crude remarks
I believe this is all the problem of separate education on the basis of gender. If only people studied in co-ed they would understand that women are not a source of sexual satisfaction and your sick gratification and weird desires. They are also human beings, They have feelings like us. Why is it that the guys just consider women as someone to fulfil their sexual desires. I am writing all this bcoz my crazy friends want me to go to the musical nite at the diplomatic club. and stare at the girls who are dancing.
The problem is that they never studied in co-education. they consider women as objects. who are just to please their sick fantasies.
Go to the city centre and you will see guys followng girls. go to the corniche and you wll see some perverts after women who are walking.
I think Qatar should implement co-education in the schools and everywhere else.
In the Utopian world, the challenge of shrinking resources is met with people working harder and smarter. Increasing productivity is a neccessary goal of the times we live in, but there are limits to that framework. This paper explores these limits, noting especially suggestions for practical increases in productivity open to almost everyone. Moreover, in Mundania, the world in which we live, information technology activities are open to sniping in these times, when all of higher education feels threatened. Careful and accurate communication may help reduce tha lack of institutional support that this sniping could encourage. Additionally, managers also have a responsibility to preserve organizational health. The greatest danger of shrinking resources is that the organization could be critically damaged. Organizations must preserve their capacity to recover to a necessary position of technical capability when times do get better.
just to share...
smile,
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Living in an Utopian world no one can blame you. The early life experience comes from the homes not in the school.
The environment where women are depicted as sex objects is the single largest problem the world over.
to blame lack of co-eucation system as the main cause of this problem is in fact a lame reason.
The school has been fully co-educational from its inception. I believe it right and natural for boys and girls to be educated together in the same community. Those pupils emerge into a world that is genuinely multi-cultural and where women perform equal roles to men.
The capacity to relate to and understand the other sex on equal terms depends very largely on the experiences of early life. Co-education does not remove all the difficulties of adjustment which most young people go through, but it provides a natural environment where these can be faced realistically at a time and in a place where friendly and understanding adult guidance is always available. I expect THOSE pupils to exercise responsibility and restraint in their relationships with each other.
Just to share ......
SMILE,
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it seems like 'only women' are the one who do most of the debating and discussing, most guys are just sitting back and relax! men are always cool! (thats what people said, i just quote)when infect, they are the one who do the staring and leeeeerrrriiingg!!!! ya oryx??:)
Here is what you wrote:
"I remember reading a letter by an innocent girl who was killed by her dad for dishonoring his so called "honor" She was punched repeatedly by her dad. If other kids see this type of behvior at home what will they learn?
If they see their peers staring at women what will they do?
If they see their elder abusing and hitting women do you expect them to be different? Although some do change and they realize the pain and agony what women face.
I was watching Oprah in which an abused woman was telling her story. Her F husband forced their kids to call their mother a [this post has broken our guidelines by using bad language - you will be removed from QL if this continues]. She also taped the abuse she suffered. Man that was bad. she got kicked punched slapped. sh*t
I believe the problem in Qatar is that women are not safe at homes. You remeber the one who was killed by her husband in the hospital. What does this tell you. I hope he gets the death penalty becasue whenever he comes out and allowed to see his kids he will indoctrine them that their mother deserved to be killed. So it does come from your own upbringing and your environment"
My response:
I don't know what has the honor punishment issue got to do with the mixed or co-ed schooling we are talking about? But since you brought up the issue, I will have to reply you.
How did you get a letter from a murdered girl?
How did you know she was innocent? If this girl got pregnant from a boyfriend, which is totally banned in some religions/cultures & is against all values of that culture, and is causing great dishonor for the family, what is so wrong if the father also reacted in an extreme manner (which is not accepted in your culture)? for every action there is a reaction. If the action is so extreme & against all odds, so will be the reaction. What kind of example would the kids be seeing if their older sister was coming late from a night club, drunk & stonned, then suddenly getting pregnant and maybe having AIDS..etc?
If they see their peers doing such things without being punished then they would think that it's OK & would do the same until the society is full of fatherless/parentless babies, orphanages, little criminals, drugs, AIDS, prostitution, crime, RAPE...etc. (In this case it would be heaven if you walk on Corniche & have some men staring at you)(what is the percentage of rape here compared to NY, Bronx for example?)
You might not believe it (and I might disagree with it) but some kids would appreciate a father who'd act firmly against such indecent behavior in order to reserve the religion, tradition, values, and honor of the family, specially if their mother is sleeping with another man (which is normal in some countries/cultures).
Women are not safe everywhere on earth, not only in Qatar. You have women-beaters in Europe, America (North & Latin), Australia, NZ, Africa, Asia, North Pole, Antartica..etc. They might be beaten or killed for a reason or another.
I have said it in other forums; the clever & wise person is the one who takes the best values, morals, principals & ethics from every culture. We should teach ourselves & our offsprings to lead decent lives & be honest, modest, generous, forgiving & respectful. We would be praised if we can forgive when we have the power of punishment.
It all starts at home...within that small family, then it would spread through the society as a whole. The teacher at school is a part of that society & will be reflecting his/her home & upbringing.
Its not the school thats the ptoblem. Its the everyday events that we see in front of our eyes that tend to make the most impression.
Take the ads that come in the newspapers, i wonder how many females would be happy to see those kind of images!! Basically its the media that has a big hand in this.
That does not rule out individuals either. But the serials/movies/adertisements that are seen daily reinforce the opinion that feamles are considered as objects which can be used to
promote a product.
Yes, just like everywhere else the choice should be there for parents to make. Whether we favour co-ed or same-sex schools, it should be a personal decision.
But it will not solve the problems of harrassment as there is not relation between one thing and the other.
Also, I disagree with the member who says that it makes you act weirdly towards the opposite sex and see it as a sexual object! I wonder what are the bases of this claim. Boys and girls should be encouraged to interact in a healthy way during their free time, but from my personal experience I believe (and there is plenty of research that supports that) that boys and girls meet their educational needs best when they are kept in separate classrooms up till the time that they settle into puberty, when their learning differences tend to disappeard. Naturally, universities and superior education should always be co-ed.
Fluffy 123- you are so right...single sex schools aren't to blame, but i think co-ed schools are places where we can create some change if we tried. (Co-ed schools are not the solution just by being co-ed, but if we take advantage of the fact that boys and girls are learning together, then maybe we can address some issues there.) Just a thought....maybe it's too idealistic and things are never gonna change.
ha ha
no harm looking and little smile ie. eyeing someone up.
it should be a reciprocal activity!
its the pyschotic gawping and lurid staaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiing
that are really awful
Yesterday I was stared at by two females, I was not offended in any way (i was unsure if they were staring 'lustfully'). I went home smiling.
The next day my wife asked me what I had done to burst the zipper on the trousers I was wearing the previous day!!!!
i don't think going to a co-educational school makes a man look a a woman any less as a sex object. in the west most of the schools or co-ed and there are many men who still look at women as sex objects. i think it's just the current culture we live in. the media uses women's bodies to sell products,movies and even business men get attractive assistants so that more clients will come back again. in Japan some business men even hold meeting in strip clubs.
the media also dictates how a woman should look.in movies in shows people always make fat jokes about overweight women.and when a show or movie does have an overweight actress on there.they always make her out to be depressed and she never has a spouse or anything. but overweight men on TV always seem to have beautiful spouses.
also when we have men like hugh heifner around.it's not wonder men are looking at women as sex objects. the porno industry has huge effect how men (and some women) view sex. some doctors have any said that porno can make a man think of unrealistic fantasy about sex with with the average woman.some expect their wives to act like porn stars.
or lets look at the beauty pageants. where a woman is judged on how good she looks in a bikini. but yet they say they are judging her by her intelligence an grace. how can you test someone on their intelligence by looking at them in a swimsuit?
so i think blaming single sexed schools for men looking as women as sex objects is a bit outlandish.
kam - go down the corniche and yes you will see pervs
someone tried to grab me down there 2 weeks a ago
and after km5 it is v. badly lit and guys do lurk
however they are NOT Qataris so it isn't a problem with the qatar education system
I have never had a problem with a qatari - however i have had numerous issues with Non-Qataris
so yr train of logic falls apart bcos most harrassment comes from non Qataris here!
yr blanket statement that 'they cannot socialise' may have applied to you - but it didnt apply to me! maybe it affects boys more than girls!
Kamrankhalid- you make a good point. I'm not qualified yet to comment on qatar, but if, as you say, some women aren't safe at home, then the change in thinking has to start outside the home (schools, media etc). I think this will then slowly affect family values. Ok, like i said, i'm not qualified to comment on qatar and i am NOT saying all women there aren't safe at home. i was just responding to the point made in the post.
Air Supply- you're right, no society is perfect. In fact, the society you describe where families teach respect doesn't seem to exist either. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try and schools seem like a good place to start. Think about how many hours a day children spend in schools. Can you think of why we shouldn't at least try to teach respect and equality between the sexes in schools?
Not saying schools are the only means of socialization. Families, friends, the media etc. have a huge role to play. But every family is different and will teach children different values...that's ok, good even. Would be scary if we all saw things the same way. Problem is families don't all teach respect either....a lot of families treat male and female children differently and then that norm perpetuates itself in society. This happens everywhere in the world, east and west.
I'm not saying school is more important than family. I am saying we should try to improve what we can (schools and families). It's possibly easier to start with schools and given that children spend so much time there, it seems wise to see that as an opportunity to teach people how to co-exist.
I believe that it all comes down to the level of one's education, his soociety, culture, upbringing values learnt at home. If he is taught at home that women are not an object for sex he will respect them. and if it is the opposite way round then you see perverts coming into the society.
I remember reading a letter by an innocent girl who was killed by her dad for dishonoring his so called "honor" She was punched repeatedly by her dad. If other kids see this type of behvior at home what will they learn?
If they see their peers staring at women what will they do?
If they see their elder abusing and hitting women do you expect them to be different? Although some do change and they realize the pain and agony what women face.
I was watching Oprah in which an abused woman was telling her story. Her F husband forced their kids to call their mother a whore. She also taped the abuse she suffered. Man that was bad. she got kicked punched slapped. sh*t
I believe the problem in Qatar is that women are not safe at homes. You remeber the one who was killed by her husband in the hospital. What does this tell you. I hope he gets the death penalty becasue whenever he comes out and allowed to see his kids he will indoctrine them that their mother deserved to be killed. So it does come from your own upbringing and your environment
looks as if though my friends will be going without me to the diplomatic club tonight. I will go and play football/soccer.
"I think co-ed schools are the way to go. The different sexes have to function together as adults in a society (in the workforce etc) and they might as well learn how starting from a young age"
Can you give me 1 example of a society where the above statement is true?
In some countries young females are getting pregnant without marriage, the fathers disappear & abondon those females, AIDS is being spread from generation to another, the children are born homeless/parentless, they are thrown in orphanges & streets, they grow up without any values & become criminals & thus the crime level in the society is high....and so on.
Why didn't the co-ed schools teach those kids to "function together as adults in a society/workforce"?
I still say it is the values of a family (which is a part of the society) that makes the difference. You bring up those kids in a way where brothers & sisters are equal, where harrassing a girl in the street means to accept that my sister will be harrassed too (which is not acceptable), where treating females as objects means to accept that the females of my family be treated as objects (which is not acceptable), where females get pregnant from husbands ONLY, where trying to severly punish a female in the family for having a sexual relation with a "stranger" male means that males are also not allowed to have such relations with "stranger" women... all such values will help maintain a respectful society where no car would be following 2 girls in a convertable. (I have absolutely no objection if it was innocent fun where those 2 girls are smiling back at the boys, then chats, music, hanging out IN GROUPS, restaurants, movies...BUT NO HARRASSMENT)
" You don't have to go to school to learn each and everything in life. you will have siblings at home or opposite sex children in the neighborhood " - I agree on this
Family is the basic foundation of the "society" and you know what "society" means right? Sinned? =)
Cheers
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I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
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You don't have to go to school to learn each and everything in life. you will have siblings at home or opposite sex children in the neighborhood.
There are certain things you learn from home from your family. For that you need to have loving and caring family who take effort to raise their kids as good individuals. And not let them grow up as they want.
I think co-ed schools are the way to go. The different sexes have to function together as adults in a society (in the workforce etc) and they might as well learn how starting from a young age. I don't think single sex education is the only reason we get pervs, but i think cornellian is right- the more of a taboo, the weirder people get and single sex education creates this feeling that interaction between the sexes is a taboo of sorts. Of course, there are also other factors.
As for the fact that boys and girls learn in different ways- that's true, but it's also true that no two people learn in the same exact way irrespective of their gender. People in general learn in different ways and schools should accomodate all these differences as best they can. We should help teachers overcome gender stereotypes where they exist, not deal with the problem by sending kids to seperate schools.
We have to learn to co-exist and we might as well start young. But that's just my opinion. You all have valid points. And Greeker, i think your case was well put.
To some extent or to great extents it is true that when boy and girls are in separate education system they tend to study more. I also agree with this fact but what happens when they leave school.
They cannot socialize with the opposite gender. They act weirdly in front of them. They will stutter. lose breath (happened to me). took me two months to socialize with girls in my hostel and the rest is a part of history of The Massey (my hostel where I lived).
When a guy and a girl who have studied in separate education system meet they have no idea how to communicate. how to start a conversation. The only thing that is on their mind is how to seduce the other. and get laid
The problem with separate education system is that it makes every friendship between a guy and a girl as having an affair. They cannot accept the fact that guys and girls can be good friends without having sex.
I also dont mind the occasional look at a pretty face, I just dont like those who stare and who follow to their homes.
Personally I feel Qatar should get rid of the separate education system
I also heard that Qatar has a very high ratio of males as compared to the females. That can also be one reason.
Go to corniche tonight and you will see the random female stalkers and the perverts. It is in the society whether you like it or not. It is not just one group of people or from one country. I remeber an incident in which two women were driving a convertible with the top rolled back and they were being chased by at least 20 other cars.
Allow me to rephrase, will you?
"It's not the school or its not its exclusivity for boys or girls but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex."
It is not the exclusivity of the school for boys or girls but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex, subject like "values education" ; "sex education" and "sociology"!
I remembered in grade school, we have "values education" through year 1-6; in year 5 "sex education" even when I was in High school, we have those subjects then we have "Sociology" in College.
I hope that will clear it up so Sinned will not be confused. Is this better sinned? ;-)
I know I am not very good in explaining my thoughts in English!
Cheers
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I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
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You got it !!!!
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Sinned was wondering that if you think that schools has nothing to do with the problem, yet you say: "but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex", then this "teaching" must be happening in the schools (which you claim they are not related to the problem). This is why Sinned was asking HOW? (how to teach them, if not in schools)
i have to go.
smile,
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Funny?
did I make you laugh? raise your eyebrow ? or did I make u think?
Define funny? we might have a different meaning ;-)
Cheers
***
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
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Ur funny .
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One question, were you able to go to school?
Cheers
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I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
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I am going to teach? what so confusing on the post? Did u read it with understanding?
Cheers
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I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
***
It's not the school or its not its exclusivity for boys or girls but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex .
Read carefully your post messeges. it's not the school ? its not exclusivity for boys or gilrs ? but for teaching them...HOW CAN YOU TEACHING THEM ? ?
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why you don't know how?
Cheers
***
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
***
It's not the school or its not its exclusivity for boys or girls but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex .
HOW ? ? ?
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It's a matter of educating both (male& female) of values of being a good social being!
It's not the school or its not its exclusivity for boys or girls but for teaching them on behaving with the opposite sex.
***
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
***
kinda way? I am not mad but scared!
Cheers
***
I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone, I never found the companionable solitude. - H.D. Thoreau!
***
are you mad when some guys staring at you ??
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...in Baghdad, we were in mixed primary schools, then seperated in secondary & high school (the only exception was Baghdad Int'l School which was for non-arabic speaking expats), then mixed again in colleges/universities. This has always been the case.... I always wondered about the logic behind that.
Until we reach a certain age and maturity, we beneficiate from single sex education. It is a fact that boys and girls learn in different ways and mature at different stages, so same sex education adjusts to these gender diferences. It has also been proved thru different researches that (inconsciently) sex discrimination from teachers is a common occurrence in coed school.
Personally,going to an all girls school didn´t have any impact on me and how I relate to the opposite sex, I was always encouraged to socialise with the opposite sex thru extra scholar activites, summer camps etc.
I believe the problem of harrassment lays elsewhere.
I agree with you Kamaran, girls who studied in Co-ed schools are smarter than the other girls when it comes to dealing with guys and vice versa.
But I don’t think it has got anything to do with these guys staring at girls or following them in the malls. Just admiring beautiful things is not a sin. But the question is with what intention you are looking at it. If you have any evil intention then it's wrong. These girls who show/expose a lot to attract people will feel bad if you guys dont look at them..lol they are doing it to seek attention. So if you are not interested please don’t look. at them. Be honest, if you see a good looking girl in the mall. won't you look at her again? (no offense meant).
With regards to the girls dancing at the DJ nights, they are enjoying themselves and of course they don’t mind guys looking (I said looking not touching) at them, otherwise they wouldn’t be dancing in public right?
Best thing is to avoid eye contact, which is some sort of approval signal for them to follow you or for whatever they are doing.
Its all because of the lack of values they got from home. Mothers got the responsibility to teach boys how to treat women with respect.
schooling..I believe it has to do with total disrespect for the other gender and that comes from how people are raised. There is a HUGE difference between looking at someone and leering at them. I don't mind being looked at but if someone is leering, then I'm going to stare back, but there will be no mistaking the disgust in my gaze. When I talk to someone, I always look them in the face, as it shows that you are truly interested in what they have to say. Remember the old adage...The eyes are the windows to the soul. Its very true.
If men, and women, would have respect for each other then there wouldn't be a problem, but as stated before..if you are raised to think of a woman as only a sex object, then she will always remain one in your mind..therefore creating the lustful leering.
The practice of educating male and female students in the same institution, is the dominant mode at all levels of Education in the United States. The custom began in the colonial period, when New England colonies legally obligated parents to teach reading and writing to boys and at least reading to girls. While much of this education took place in the home, many towns also funded primary schools. Elsewhere, subscription schools were open to male and female students whose parents contributed to the schools' operating costs. Female education expanded after the American Revolution, when the ideology of republican womanhood supported elite women's arguments that educated wives and mothers were essential to an enlightened citizenry
Education of males and females in the same school. A modern phenomenon, it was adopted earlier and more widely in the U.S. than in Europe, where tradition proved a greater obstacle to its acceptance.
Just to share .
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"Most of the researches about this issue come up with the fact that when they get separated .. the educational level is getting higher and the ability to understand the subjects is even better."
wow!! thats really suprising to hear! i never stumble with that fact while browsing through my educational field research papers! hhhhhhhhhmmmm......thats strage!
yeah, i'm gonna add that on my list and share it with my collugues. dont worry, i'll add the "no offense" part for you....:)
"Now man being made to live among men, we cannot go too far in the process of moulding the child for social life, in counteracting his egoistic instincts when they first unfold by the development of his altruistic and social instincts."
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As jannatul_houri said, both teams are scoring points but I don't think that we can blame schools or conservative societies if some males act dispolitely by trying to harras females or pick them up in the streets...etc.
If the "west" has so much of new-borns with no fathers, or very young pregnant & abandoned mothers who have no husbands, or lots of orphanages for children who have no parents...etc, can we blame that on mixed schools? I don't think so.
I think everything starts in the upbringining within the family, the values of this family which is the seed of the society. How committed is this family and how much it is contributing to its society, or even resisting the "wrongful" values of the society.
Swissgirl and all QL members. How are you doing buddy, long time no see. Thank you for asking about me, just busy transferring to a new house. Well, I don't think that separating boys and girls in the schools is the cause of the problem. Most of the researches about this issue come up with the fact that when they get separated .. the educational level is getting higher and the ability to understand the subjects is even better.
Will try to continue later, I gotta go to the hospital now.
i agree with you. not to stare back is a good point! (thumbs up).
infect, in islamic teachings, we are encourage to lower our gaze for it can protect our desire from keep on expanding and expanding(when looking opposite gender with lust).
how much better would it be if all of us (men and woman) are practicing it, see much degree of good outcome it will breed upon men and woman. afterall, both genders have lust right?
guys, try to think about it yeah. (yeah, i am thinking right now too).
i found it really strage also, because before this when it came to rapist issue: women were always being blamed by people for wearing sexy dresses.
however,now, in Malaysia and (other countries too), there are many incidence in which innocent and under age female students got raped violencely by men with no heart! perhaps, thats why some people change their mind and tend to blame men alone.
really i dont understand this life either:
is it 'karma' or what?
or should we consider it as 'taking turns'?
if thats the case, perhaps we could say: "men, its your turn!".
its just a suggestion anyway, no 'hurt feelings' yeah.. :)
In Europe we have mixed classes and so the kids learn from the first scool day on how do manage that stuff.And it is a normal thing if a man looks when he sees a pretty girl on the street.Also if he is married.So let him look,why not?A marriage is not to be arrested in jail for a lifetime.Also a married womans can have a decent look to a nice man.It is like to get appetite outside,but eating home.Many times it is the problem of us womans,we get jelous so fast for nothing.But if you trust your hubby,that would not be a big problem,if he looks to another one.Maybe she looks pretty and sexy from outside,but what is with the inner beauty?Anyway for myself i have many male friends,im engaged and i am talking about it open and so he must not have a bad feeling cos he knows he can trust me anytime.And the rest,well,as i sayd,let the men stare,why not?Sometimes it gives you a good feeling,just to know that they do it,so you know that you are alive and you looks not that shit as you thinking from yourself sometimes(especially on bad days).
See, Jannatul,
Men will be men only...Here in this 'peeps' case the most important thing is a physical need. Biologically our needs are different. In women love comes first but in men lust comes first. We are made that way, our genes are responsible for it.
Here we get most stares from the men who are on forced starving.
I think Rock the Kasbah has the point. This way the problem will get solved to some extent.
Still you just can't avoid all stares, see Italy has to ban men on a women's only beach to prevent stares. so, I think the best way is just avoid staring back....No offense....please
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yes its true tht boys stare at girls and follow them .just because they didnt study in a co.ed school will not make any men attracted to girls.yes ofcourse, it makes a lot of difference in their outlook if they mingled with girls in their school days.but i strongly believe ,if the girls wear dress decently in public places ,if they bother to present them self in dignity they will defntly get the respect they deserve.its give respect and take respect.one who give no respect to themself(by wearing indecent dresses and excibiting themselves) do not deserve any respect from others.
but yes ofcourse..even after dressing up in dignity, still if they face problems from guys ,its really disgusting !!!
orxy is right!
"it isn't axiomatic that if the family is here they will behave decently
lots of 'respectable married men' behave like tossers...anywhere
true orxy. infect, we used to discuss about this issue in campus before. according to my lecturer (male), for every something that happens, there are many reasons for it to happen. there is always be a story behind a story: there is always be a 'push-and-pull' factors that trigger someone to behave in a such way.
marriage doesnt necessarily save men from 'curb cawling' etc, because it depends more on the 'inside story' of their marriage. normally some men do that because they cannot find what they want in their marriage, they feel like something is missing in their marriage. i cannot state clearly what is that "something" which is missing, because it varies and depends on what every men is seeking in their marriage. so only men himself will know what is missing. (incase if they feel sth is missing).
these kind of men feel like, "something" which they expect (seek) in a marriage cannot be found in that current marriage. thats why dont be suprised to discover if there are some 'married men',but fall under the category of man-"still seeking".
perhaps, we may ask other men here of 'what do men normally seek or expect in a marriage'?
guys, any comment?
you are welcome gentlemen......
going to a single sex school didnt make me shy at talking to boys
i think it gave me more confidence in my own gender
i think men get pervie depending on what are the accepted social norms within a society and what behaviour patterns they are taught are acceptable
it certainly isn't just here
RtC-yes but i know of a case of a guy getting arrested for curb crawling here and his wife was here...so it isn't axiomatic that if the family is here they will behave decently
lots of 'respectable married men' behave like tossers...anywhere
every comment is logic. i put my hand together on your wonderful commment greeker! true, single gender school could result to poor socialization. (i went to an all girls secondary school, and i turned out to be shy now in campus- but, better than before).
however, co-ed doesnt necessarily promotes to an 'openminded' way of looking woman either. because its also more of being influenced by the individual way of thinking, and viewing woman.
but having a co-ed school can be one of the best ways to change men's way of looking woman. by exposing men to the abilities, talents and professionalisms of woman, more or less it helps men to realize that there are many aspects which make up a woman instead of viewing them as merely an object!
true, teenagers time is the period when boys and girls are very curious of their opposite gender, so we shouldnt restrict their desire or curiosity for it will affect their human development- that give future impact. (as long as they dont contradict with our islamic religion).
normally people who have that 'lusting eyes' etc... are those whose 'teenagers period' were robbed, that hindered them from expressing their raising normal desire, which in the end burst and explode at one spot!
no offense pls:)
i am just sharing my knowledge here, for we used to undertake psychology course that touches on this matter- Human Development).
I havent admitted this ever before, but i do now...
Most of my actual 'socialising years' {14 to 16}, i spend in a military school. We had exactly 21 girls for a school full of 600 boys. We had all of ONE girl in our class. We were all having crazy hormones at the time. Know what i became? SHY, to talk to girls.
It took me another seven years before i actually got over my shyness to talk to them. And even now, more often than not, i am not good at initialising a talk with the opposite sex. I am not saying that i became any more worse because of it, but lets just say that i wouldnt want my child to go through the same trauma, if you could call it that.
Co-ed schools are also the place where you learn how to keep that crazy hormones in check. While i agree that sometimes bad things happen, most of the times, it gives you the vital knowledge of how to behave around your opposite sex. From my experience, i was all the more poorer because i went to a school that severely lacked them. If i was given the option to turn back time, hell, i would and get as far away as possible from that military school...
Those two years were the most enjoyable 'boyhood' years of my life, but in so many ways, i also feel that it robbed me of the joy of learning about life the natural way...
The bottom line from me is that let children do what naturally comes to them. Dont keep them forcefully seperated for you are robbing them the opportunity of learning things. While same-sex sxhools would sound like a jolly good idea, from personal experience, i think it is scary. And Qatari, no, you didnt turn out too bad. But to each his own, thats my take on how i faced things. Peace.
I AM at peace with life.
{I DO feel that i got carried away a wee bit. Aisha, no offence to you, ok, please. You are one of those people whom i really respect on this forum.}
Single sex schools are really healthy especially for teens with crazy hormons :-)
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life happens and I defy anyone in this forum to tell me they weren't curious about their opposite sex when they realised there WAS an opposite sex!
and, khalid, there are perves all over the world and I'm getting fed up with this constant 'it's only here it happens'
so there! *sticks tongue out*
I don't think it's the physical seperation that's the cause, but it's the emotional seperation. It's the ideas that have been implanted...ideas such as "boys dont talk to girls, there should be no communication whatsoever", etc. And it's human nature when u know ur not allowed to do something, u rebel and u do it more. That's regarding the local society. As for foriegner pervs etc I think it has to do with deprivation.
People are lonely and come for money primarily.... This causes such acts....
Maybe that way they won't be apart from their wives for two to three years at a time and feel no need to stare at women at City Centre/corniche etc.
I went to a very respectable all Boys School thank you very much...(and I turned out fine - I guess)
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i went to a single sex school - which is fine - no worries
it is how society socialises people
and i have had 0 problems with Qatari males in almost 4 years...
so blaming the Qatar education system is not right as i don't feel it is the root cause
..i have been in qatar and did my entire schooling from here .........however i dont think lack of co-education cud be a factor...ppl in co-ed schools also can turn out to be preverts ... depends on lot of factors i blv...