Quit Bashing Americans Now!
There have been quite a few posts recently that have been anti American. Some have accused Americans of not being able to speak 'proper" English. Others have suggested that Americans are unintelligent or worse, stupid. Some people even think that Americans are insular and know nothing of the world outside the USA.
I don't want to name names but you know who you are (don't you Oryx). The purpose of this post is to prove to you all that your perceptions about Americans are wrong. In order to illustrate this, I am using my own experience.
Americans are very clever. In America people lead very good lives and are very rich compared to the rest of the world. How do they do this? It is very simple, Americans spend money they don't have to buy big cars and big houses and have nice vacations. In order to finance this expenditure, the American government prints money and sells T-bills to foreigners. This is very clever because the dollar is worth almost nothing but foreigners buy billions of dollars every day allowing Americans to have a great lifestyle. Only clever people would think of this.
Some people think that Americans are insular and not well travelled. This is not true. In 1998 I went to the country of Europe and visited 27 cities in nine days. I saw the Eiffel Tower in London, the Louvre in Rome and the Coliseum in Madrid and lots of other interesting things. The coliseum was disappointing though. It is very rundown and has fallen down completely in parts. For those of you intersested in history, there is a much better, newer Coliseum at Disneyworld in Florida.
The country of Europe has many different states. I don't know how many, something like twenty. America has more (50). The country of Europe is not democratic, instead it has a monarchy. The King is King David Beckham and the Queen is Queen Victoria Posh Spice Beckham. Some states also have their own monarch. England has its own Queen. His name is Elton John.
The people of Europe are very warlike but they do love Americans. They started two world wars and had to ask America to come and win them. Without American help they would probably still be fighting them. That is why they love America.
Europeans are very proud of thir culture. I am not sure why this is as their cultural icons are very old and falling down. They seem incapable of making anything new. I think American culture is better because we throw out old stuff and replace it with new things.
There are some very good things about the country of Europe though. One is that the crime rate is very low. This is because they send all their criminals to Australia. You cannot enter Australia unless you have a criminal record. The other thing I like about Europe is that all women are required to sunbathe topless on the beaches of Europe. This is the law in Europe and it is a good one but I think that exceptions should be made for older German women.
I should also tell you something about the history of America. America has a history of liking foreigners. America was discovered by a man called Christopher Columbus. He was an American of Spanish/Italian origin. After the discovery lots of foreigners mainly form Europe settled in America and became Americans. Also, there were some people already living in America when it was discovered. They were called Indians.
A famous American explorer and later president by the name of Teddy Roosevelt solved the problem of the Indians. Teddy liked to hunt elephants and he used to go to Africa to shoot them. Teddy was a good shot and soon the country of Africa began to run out of elephants so Teddy looked further afield to find them. While doing so, he discovered the country of India. He was surprised to find that the natives of this country were called Indians but they were not like our Indians. When Teddy got back to the states he decided to do something about all these Indians. By then they weren't many left in America on account of cowboys and the US army but Teddy changed their name to "Native Americans" and rounded them up and put them on pieces of poor quality land called reservations. After that they ceased to be a problem.
Today's America is an inteligent dynamic democratic country which was built by foreigners mainly from the country of Europe. Americans are very friendly and open people and love to travel.Please believe the words I have written above. I hope you now think of America and Americans in a different way and we will not have to read any further comments that criticize America.
Thank you.
- I took the blue pill and found myself alive in Qatar - wish I had taken the red and stayed in Europe
no i'm not hijacking,,just sideswiping this post...
- I took the blue pill and found myself alive in Qatar - wish I had taken the red and stayed in Europe
you know better than that! he's got his tongue permanently stuck in his cheek..(wonder if there is a surgical procedure to remove that)...
Richard, it's great to have you on QL!
Hi Vasquez,
Sorry I don't remember saying anything about fat Europeans to your girl. However, given my poor oral skills, I don't doubt your words. I probably meant to say "Do you like tall, handsome, blue eyed Europeans" and it just came out wrong.
On my travels I did go to a place called Esbjerg which used to be in Denmark. Denmark ceased to exist in the 16th century after an argument between Hamlet and the King of Denmark. What used to be Denmark is now part of the country of Scandinavia. The country of Scandinavia is separate from the country of Europe. I think they are enemies. I hope I answered your question.
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
LOL. This was hilarious. Too bad I was late for the discussion (damn school!). I actually thought u were serious till I got to "The country of Europe" and it was all laughter from then on :D
lol that is hilarious - I'm surprised though that your written English is so fluently good - because your oral skills face to face are quite poor.
Oh and thank you for comment - "do you like fat Europeans? to my gal' this Thursday - I've been put on a diet because of this. GRRrrrr
Did you never go to the Province of Denmark and its capital Sweden - its just after the Province of Germany on the free way? - in case you needed directions.
- I took the blue pill and found myself alive in Qatar - wish I had taken the red and stayed in Europe
As I remember in Alaska we had a hard time getting rid of all the out of work Tejanos during the pipeline. We used to tell them that we would cut Alaska in half and make Texas the third largest state.
Last time I was in New Hampshire I believe the package stores were run by the state kinda like Canada,of course Pocahantas was still running around then and things may have changed. It was'nt all that long ago in Massataxes (Massachusetts)that women had to use a seperate entrance to enter a bar and no women were allowed in "social" clubs and I'm talking in the 70s. It's amazing how many social things have changed and I not convinced that they are all for the good.
Richard123, who was you Prof. in school? Timothy Oleary?
Good write up LOL and I thought only French were good at tongue in cheek...although they use someone else's cheeks.
Richard, you're soooooooooooo baaaaaaaaad! lol :D
Agghhh my days in Canada. If you want entertainment better than WWE wrestling, go to any bar right at closing time. The funniest thing however is the stripper circuits that run throughout the territories in the smaller towns. The local talent just could not cut it so they have to import talent. EH thats my cousin and my wife, put your flannel back on woman. The place were all the washouts from the NFL go for limelight and a place to wait for the next NFL tryouts.
Where the moose roam free and are only afraid of the lonely rig hand?
Seriously though how do they keep the streets so clean?
Act your age not your shoe size
Alcohol is available throughout the state of New Hampshire for those over the age of 21. You probably looked too young to be served. Another explanation is your English accent. The barman may have thought that you were a newly arrived puritan and didn't want to offend you by offering alcohol. Or, he may have thought you were Canadian (to us the English and Canadians sound the same). Canadians are not allowed to drink in most states in the US because they don't know how to behave themselves when they have a drink. This is because 100% of all Canadians are of Scottish (a province of the north of England) descent.
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
I lived up in New Jersey for 3 summers..there's this place called Rumsford, I think, if memory serves me right. The Kennedys originally lived up there and daddy Kennedy used to run bootleg from a house up on the bluff during Prohibition. He had a basement where the still was, had a large pipe running from there out into the sea. Boat would pull up, anchor, pull up the hose, and load up the hooch. Nah..they weren't involved in the Mafia! lol
Loving this thread!
I went to New England once. I thought I was back in the days of Prohibition. One State (New Hampshire, I think it was?) you could only by alcohol for personal consumption from a warehouse the other side of the State border to take it in!
At the Hotel on Mt Washington I couldn't find the bar!!! There WAS a hole in the wall, and when I poked my head through the slot and asked for a double vodka, this middle aged hippy ( newly arrived back in US from about 20 years in Ibiza) said 'I can't do that ma'am it's against the law here, but I can pour you a large shot'. hehehe He was a nice guy, we chatted to him for quite a while.
Nah...don't think any of them ever churned butter...
Hey, you CAN get Tabasco over here...try MegaMart. they have it, thank goodness!!!
Richard, did you know, and this is a fact cause I've done it, that it takes a full 24 hours to drive from the lower tip of Texas, Brownsville, to the upper left tip of the Texas Panhandle. yeah, I was bored...And from about the Ft Worth area on up there is absolutely NOTHING to see until you get into Colorado...ok, not counting tumbleweeds, barbed wire fences, cactus and sand.
Gun rate...yep we do have a lot but that's not the reason for the crime, we have a LOT of rednecks who like to hunt. The guns that are used to kill can't be traced...As everyone loves to say..its not the gun that kills people, its people who kill people. heck, even my mom carries a gun with her at all times and had a license for a concealed weapon. Woman sleeps with the pistol under the pillow and a loaded shotgun by the bed. I ALWAYS call right before I pull into her driveway to let her know I am there so she doesn't shoot me when I come thru the door!
I would seriously prefer to eat cement than go near that stuff...yuck!!
Ohh fiddledeedee.....
OK I am finished. Lisa I gave a ten minute lecture on hot sauce at lunch one day. They have this tomato sauce that they label as hot sauce over here. Aghhh to have real Tabasco Sauce. I can smell the vinegar now.
The Bushes are from Texas. They live in the old Texas settlement of Memorial. They are the indigenous people who originally settled in the area. Mamma still churns butter out back every day.
I have to say you yanks can't have everything. The next thing you will say is that grits are from New Hampshire. Richard we have our own version of Shepherd's Pie. It is called Sloppy Joe's with Oreda French Fries on top with a little Queso or Velveeta cheese melted on top.
Act your age not your shoe size
I was driving from Jacksonville Fla to LA and it sure felt like I was in Texas a long time. I remember stopping in Austin and Amarillo and liking those places but there were a lot of gun shops. Maybe that's why the crime rate there is so high.
My favorite Texan is Don Henley. What other cool Texans are there?
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
I personally think, not enough, but some don't agree with the death penalty. We keep getting the dangerous prisoners sent to Texas because we do, or DID, have room for them. Now its become a revolving door...as the numbers get to capacity, they release some of the prisoners out into the public, therefore making more room..Then we get those that should have been on death row, out on the street. Just for example, Houston's crime rate has more than doubled in the last 2 years...check our records on release and you'll see why. Its not a good situation.
listen to little 'ole me, Richard. EVERYONE knows he's from Texas but that reasoning is only because we, as a state, have more electoral votes than CT...mmmmmmmm love politics...all you have to do is listen to his accent to know that...
Your writings leave me with no option but to bow in respect to your wisdom & sarcasm & genuine character.
How many did our friend Bush put to death when he was governor of Texas? :D
that I have to tell you that George Bush is not from Texas. It is with even greater sadness that I have to admit he was born in my home state of Connecticut.
Yes cowboy George is an illusion. He is actually a yankee from an old New England family allegedly related to Queen Elizabeth II of Scotland and Northern Ireland.
I sure wish I could put the blame for George W onto Texas but I can't. Remember the Alamo!
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
ahh some of the best margaritas in town!
Tobassco and cayenne pepper are the preference here. But talking about TexMex made me think of Guadalajara's - some of the best I have ever had. Not to mention Papacito's isn't too shabby either. I have got to get over to Houston at some point this summer. There are no good TexMex restaurants around here.
It is very true what you said:
"I actually told someone that when the oil boom was going on in Texas. We had a LOT of northern folks come down to benefit from the jobs we had in the oil field. Was standing in line at a grocery store and this jerk of a guy was complaining about the heat, people, etc, there in Texas...on and on and on...finally I opened my big mouth and said..so why are you here? He goes...well we don't have any jobs and I got laid off up in Michigan. I shot back..I can see why you got laid off, so if you are so unhappy here with Texas, then go the h*ll back home!!! He shut up"
It is EXACTLY the same story here...but it's "east-west" not "south-north" :-)
Some people who keep nagging about arab/muslim/eastern/whatever life style should read your Texas story
Methinks Richard had his in his cheek also, hence the fetticine alfredo comment...I made Shepards Pie last night tho...hubby loved it!
you are so right...we did receive a major portion of your people...so like all Americans we did the right thing and shared with you...Um..doesn't the Mississippi have the Statue of Liberty right in front of the French Quarter??? Besides...that French cuisine could use a bit of spicing up from the Hispanic side...I mean..who ever heard of anything without hot sauce??? Ohh speaking of which...when I came over here, a friend of mine BROUGHT with him, 5 gallons of Pace Picante sauce, for me...lol Gotta love friends like that!
I want to know why Richard keeps insisting Shepherd's Pie is an American dish. It isn't ! The potatoes may have been introduced to Europe from 'The New World', but the Shepherd's Pie is pure BRIT!
"The key to dating Shepherd's pie is the introduction (and acceptance) of potatoes in England. Potatoes are a new world food. They were first introduced to Europe in 1520 by the Spanish. Potatoes did not appeal to the British palate until the 18th Century.
Shepherd's Pie, a dish of minced meat (usually lamb, when made with beef it is called "Cottage Pie") topped with mashed potatoes was probably invented sometime in the 18th Century by frugal peasant housewives looking for creative ways to serve leftover meat to their families. It is generally agreed that it originated in the north of England and Scotland where there are large numbers of sheep--hence the name."
(The Oxford Companion to Food, Alan Davidson).
Dr. Phil is from Houston.
Our French may not be perfect but we have some of the best food around!!!
Mexico...but just think, we worked out a lot of the bugs in the system, improved upon several things such as adding Fiesta Texas, Six flags and several water parks...so you are getting quite a bargain!
I think Texas is getting back at Louisiana. Since we sent all of our Katrina refugees to Texas all the Mexicans are coming here. The INS could pick them all up whenever they wanted to - just go to all of the convenient stores after 5:00 pm and they are there buying there cases of Budweiser.
in lieu of the overtaking of my state..May I be allowed to move to Merida and become a citizen...?
so is Bush, but PLEASE don't blame us for which we have no control!!!
Always thought it was funny that Dr. Phil put out a diet plan but he, himself was a bit chubby. What was that...do as I say, not as I do???
I have to say it is rather ingenious. We let you take it and then slowly and quietly we take it back. The plan however is to create a larger buffer zone this time to keep the pesky Americans out.
You see who will care about California( Earthquakes/ Idiot Celebrities), Texas ( Home of George Bush), Florida (Home of Jeb Bush), Loiusiana( Full of Traitors who speak messed of French). I have laid out the plan to take over the lower part of the US through annexation. The economic and tax base has been a plus for the Mexican government and Western Union.
Act your age not your shoe size
..is the famous Dr. Phil (McGraw) from Texas?
For the Mexican government it was just a small battle, the war is still going on and they are taking over the United States one state at a time...VERYYYYYY sneaky...Its alright, we are separated by a river (of course you can wade across it and never get your knees wet!) to keep out the illegal aliens. AND...Texas was and still is the only state that was its own country at one time. That's the reason it is the only state that can fly the state flag at the same level as the American flag. If I'm not mistaken also, our capitol building is an inch taller than the White House. As you well know..every little inch counts..LOL VIVA Texas!!!
order up some Taco Bell (TRUE California Mexican), get my remote and eat lunch while making my food into large lumps and switching channels. How much more fun can that get???? I'm in heaven!
Scarlett,
I thought I moved to Mexico. Texas is really a state in the US. I had to learn Mexican for nothing.
Act your age not your shoe size
and it announces where it is...next we'll clap and it will change the channel...lol
Nope it is 3:55 am here. Crashed early last night now I am up and can't go back to sleep. Just enjoyng Richard's post and some of the replies.
Oh, God a voice controlled TV then my hubby will get no excerise when he at least gets up to look for the remote LOL.
Ohh fiddledeedee.....
we'll have both hands free to use both the knife and fork...this will be for the British version, since you guys use both at the same time during a meal...
Its a real shame that we don't have a Taco Bell here. American food is so good. Waldorf Salad, Fettucine Alfredo, grits, pizza, hamburgers, heros, hot dogs, shepherd's pie. All really good American concoctions.
We don't use knives much because we are avery peaceful people and knives can be used to kill people. Forks are safer. Its all about safety and consideration, ya see?
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
good evenin'?
accent(but only for Oryx's sake) but then no one will understand me...'cept perhaps Lisa but that's cause she's from close to where I'm from and NO ONE understands coona$$es. (love ya Lisa!) The only excuse I have is that I have been talking to Gypsy and her Canadian has rubbed off on me. CURSE you Gypsy!!!! she's being evil and she's not even here!
Gee Oryx, we don't even need forks we have "sporks".
Love the writing Richard.
Good morning Scarlett and all.
I have become very sensitive about accents recently. If you have a perfectly good American accent, there is no need to try and change it. I have been teaching Oryx to speak properly. She has made some progress but has a long way to go. No need to confues her with Canadian pronounciation.
American (proper English) = out Canadian (improper) = ooot
American (proper English) = about Canadian (improper) = aboot
American (proper English) = boat Candadian (improper) = boot
American (proper English) = huh! Canadian = eh! after everything
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
and praise must also go to Americans streamlining other country's cuisine. Such as Mexican cuisine now being Taco Bell which is ready to go in a couple of minutes....
3 cheers to Taco Bell
Who wants a table cloth and cutlery?
Americans have wonderfully streamlined the use of cutlery too... no need for a silly knife and fork. Just use your fork to push your food round and tear it into rough lumps, and then shovel it in your mouth - leaving your other hand free for the remote control
remove that growth in your cheek there, jauntie(and Richard)! Ohh my, I certainly wasn't upet abooot anything...just mouthin off once again...in jest. Me knickers weren't in a knot...in fact they are in the washer...
leaving the comfort zone of our own country...how intelligent is that????
I dare someone lebanese to write something tongue in cheek like that.
If you want something tongue in cheek about Britain watch Little Britain on Tuesday on BBC and of course for our history Black Adder- excellent
leaving the comfort zone of our own country...how intelligent is that????
keep yer bunnett awn, Scarlett, me old ducks lol
I think my tonque was about as far in my cheek in that post as richard's was in his xx
the wonderful thing about america is now they have the epcot centre... so americans can have an authentic european experience, quicker, without leaving home, language issues and having to put up with european food.
of things from the Brits....And...I absolutely hate it when folks say that its not as good as back home thing. If its not...then GO BACK HOME!!!!
I actually told someone that when the oil boom was going on in Texas. We had a LOT of northern folks come down to benefit from the jobs we had in the oil field. Was standing in line at a grocery store and this jerk of a guy was complaining about the heat, people, etc, there in Texas...on and on and on...finally I opened my big mouth and said..so why are you here? He goes...well we don't have any jobs and I got laid off up in Michigan. I shot back..I can see why you got laid off, so if you are so unhappy here with Texas, then go the h*ll back home!!! He shut up.
And I thought you were serious until I got to "Eiffel Tower in London"!
Did you write this yourself? Brilliant!
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Goddarnit! Where's the fun in takin' the pish out of other nationalities? They understand the insults and that can get one into trouble.
I prefer to play safe and save the mickey taking for my ex-colonial 'nothings-as-good-as-what-we-have-here' cousins in the good ol' US of A ;)
but glad we all get along!!! and, yes, y'all do speak English very well!
I've just realised how I had totally misunderstood and misjudged Americans till now!!! Thanks for enlightening me Richard, I'm profoundly sorry if I ever thought any little of your compatriots and your country : )
This is probably the funniest thing I have read on QL. Ever.
ms, scarlett & mr, richard???
Americans were the last people who 'colonized' us.
Therefore...most Filipinos speak (american) english well:)
gypsy gal...thank you...I had to laugh when I saw what you read...we are a friendly bunch...for the most part...Little language lesson here...My state's name, Texas, comes from the American Indian word, Tejas, which means Friend...and our motto is The Friendly State...how appropriate...we're so friendly we get annoying at times.. :)
are everywhere!!!
I feel Americans are more friendly people than Europeans..they are cool.
i love american, i really do ... :P
Oui,
Je suis Americain. Why do you make it so difficult masculine feminine? We are all Americans. Elton John is not the Queen. He was knighted so how could he be the Queen. Do females serve in the Army in England? Plus he dresses to flamboyant to be the Queen.
Maybe President Bush can be the special envoy for peace in Ireland when he leaves office. He definitely has a good track record on bringing peace and democracy to places.
Act your age not your shoe size
each country would post a tongue in cheek about their own country as you have. We could have an entire book!
a French..abeit a really bad accent..would do British but that one's even worse!)
I am so proud of you for correcting everyone about how we Americans are so worldy and honorable lot. May everyone (yes, Oryx??) stand corrected...
I feel we are much misunderstood. When I was in 11th grade I joined the international club which sponsored foreign exchange students. This awakened my interset in foreign parts and cultures.
I befriended one exchange student, a guy from Canada. I learned many things about that far and distant land and its strange culture. I also took delight in showing him our very different culture and of introducing him to new things that could not be found in his own primitive country.
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
Such threads make me love the U.S. of A.!
You forgot to talk about the protectorate of Mexico, the threat from the old USSR, fast food, to name a few topics!
We're all Americans!
Richard123....one proud American.
What made you write such long post on your people???
Please don't let me down on this. I am trying to improve our image. You are male right? In which case you write, Je suis Americain.
Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary. Mahatma Gandhi
ROFL...ha ha ha...and here's me thinking you have been very quiet of late...all the time you were working away on your latest diatribe. Spoken like a true American (ha ha).
BTW, are you doing all this on the company time?????
OH Richard. LOL
Act your age not your shoe size