Sent my girlfriend back to the Philippines

Some people would pretend they know..when they don't have an inkling of what they're talking about...

wallah!!! blessed are the ignorant...coz they won't know the gossips...whehehehehe

aaahhh, the self righteous have spoken.

trolls are like jejemons, they're the same species

WK: I think we need to agree on a definition of a troll. Perhaps I am without knowing it?

consider as one. Hope you understand, WK!

Khawaga you are a troll???

I am proud of you :)

no need for jdylan to justify his actions, as I said, the ends will definitely justify the means. I may not conform 100 % with his moves, but I just want to focus on the positive aspects! Let the other sides with the whiners!

you are contributing nothing!

Jdylan what makes you think that the "bunch of Nepalese" can't manage without Filipinas.

Do you think that nobody can do the job properly except Filipinas?

If it was so then a Filipina should have been manager instead of a French!

"SOLD"

Seat down?? I'm SOLD!

How can I say no, A woman after my heart. I will even put the seat down for you....

Cold pizza for breakfast?? :o)

Of course, all of the comforts of home.

Mi Casa, Su Casa.

spongeboob: not even coffee?? How about a glass of water?

Khawaga, I can't promise you breakfast, It may become brunch! Wake up time varies, But I always 'rise' when I wake. Catering or home delivery sounds good.... :-)

sheikhawawa: I just put in an application. I'm hoping for a call any day now!

why dont we all just try to work in carrefour and check it out? so we can experience their management if it's fair or unfair to their employees?

spongeboob: are you offering to make me breakfast? If so, I'm a simple girl... cup of tea or coffee, some fruit, whatever. Or we could go out...

Khawaga, No need to tone it down, Those that "Cant take the heat, should stay out of the kitchen" And speaking of the kitchen... out of curiousity, What kind of breakfast would you prefer?

WK: Ok. I'll let it go.

Sandman: Sorry. I'll tone it down a bit...

Khawaga, Your making me blush, and a few other reactions I can't mention here! :-)

Sorry Khawaga I can't send sexts.

WK: I'm still waiting for a sext from you. Let's focus on that before we decide on the price of a one-night-stand, shall we?

spongeboob: If you actually could pick me up, I would be yours any time you wanted. I'm a sucker for that sort of thing...

... you don't have to justify yourself to anybody. You did and are doing the right thing for somebody who cares deeply about his girlfriend. So many whingers and selfish women on here wish they were in your gf's shoes right now. Don't justify yourself or argue with insignificant and small minded people. They need to get a life - or get laid! Pick up and for once make a positive post to people who supported your decision. Quite funny that nobody seems to care about Carrefour and their management... but jumped at the fact you might have sent your gf home as an easy way to dump her.

Always remember this is a public website... And for every thought-about post you will get at least 100 senseless and ignorant comments!

Good luck and keep it up :)

ya maybe

so if you are living as a bachelor in Qatar, is it mandatory to have a girl?

Speaking of hookers, I am curious. do different nationalities charge different rates?

And if so, why? Do they do things differently or are people paying different rates for different shades?

there goes one more topic into the hands of the official hijackers...........

Khawaga, let me know if you need directions or if you prefer to be "Picked-up"

Your secret's safe with me... :-)

Khawaga how much will you pay me for one night :P

jdylan relax :)

spongeboob: that is why I never do it at my place.

I am also fascinated by prostitution.

Honestly, I have never paid a woman for sex.

However, I have paid them to leave the next morning!

jdylan, Easy there, Killer! I didn't call you a sleazebag. I was merely interested in the going rate. Check my history: I am on record as being fascinated by prostitution.

So I'm a sleazebag too because I know the general rate for a hooker from Intercon? So if this comes up in general conversation, ie (a sleazy co-worker had one once) I can't use it as an example because I'll be judged even more? Wow. You guys never let up, do you?

Funny though, the same kind of people I learned this stuff from are the same (married) people who had PI girlfriends and simply dumped them when they left, which made me think about what I should do when I left.

But I know how to do a great many things. Once I worked as an in-store loss prevention officer when I was going to college, and I caught shoplifters. But wait! Because I know how they operate, I guess I'm a thief, too, right? Damn, I can't get a break with you guys.

(By the way, I believe the going rate is 800 QR a night, or it was when that grease-bag told me back in 2007.)

Wow.. I don't know what to say..

Some people just want to see the bad side rather than the good one..

Are you lost zakir?

and now a days nationality too.... very sad.

The hitch is that we all care for our nationality and are very very very patriotic. Little doubt why we all ran away from our respective countries. just for some money???

lol, good catch khawaga, the OP apparently seems to know.

Wow! What is the going rate for a hooker at the Intercon? Anyone know?

and always remember jdylan this is QL, lots of haters and self-righteous suckers :P

:)

Calm down now..

walla!!!

Clear now?..

She often tells me how lucky she is to have met me, and how I changed her life for her and her family, how she thanks God. Now she is able to attend college and be a mother to her 9 year old son, instead of always being away. Now her family has the titles to their land, now they have pigs and caribou and wells for water and next month a tricycle. Believe me, Olive, if you consider this "payment for services", it would have been cheaper to hire a hooker from Intercon. I do it out of compassion for her, because I have feelings for her. But circumstances are that we have to be apart.

I read in so many posts that I am a "jerk", why? (Thanks, Olive)

I showed up in Doha 4 years ago, immediately met a girl (I wasn't looking for one) and we started going out. What was I supposed to do, Olive? Spend 3 years living like a priest because I knew we would both be leaving back to our own countries? So you are saying NO ONE except Qataris or people from the same countries should be in relationships or date while in Doha?

And what is it about "sex", Olive? Every comment you post has something to do with "sleeping" with her, You think that's all we did? Every year for vacation we went to the Philippines (Boracay, Bagiuo City), vistsed her family (where I spent a lot of money for them on all kinds of stuff, but I better not go into detail because I'll be bragging, right Olive?)

So now, after three years, my contract is over on 30 days notice and I had to leave. It was a shock to both of us. I can't marry her because she is already married, annulments are very expensive and take a long time, we already looked into it. I can't take to the states because we aren't married. I can't live in the PI because...umm what would I do to make money? I make a lot of money working for the US Govt as a technician, impossible to make so much in the PI.

People, quit hating. I did what I thought was best. Olive, you say my GF isn't happy, you want her private email to see if she's alright? I mean, you're so concerned about her. And I didn't "abandon" her. We text 50 times a day, and I telephone once a week. And yes, I DO plan to support her for her school for as long as it takes. So what are your solutions, people? I should give up my career and money and move to the PI and commit bigamy, ie marry a lady whose already married? Open a small roadside chicken stand and barely make enough to survive? Or continue my job for the US and pay for her school.

All I'm doing is what I think is best for both of us.

Wow, Olive. Not to be mean, but reading your posts, I'm surprised you found a guy to marry you, you really come across as a judgemental *itch. What have YOU done for anyone lately? All u seem to do is post on QL all day. What a catch.

and thus ended the thread.

for they think they know the "right" from the wrong...

blessed be those who argue for the sake of arguing...for they need all the attention they could get.

As for me...I'm gonna puke (*bleeeach)

I'm outta here!!!

flor1212....Good Morning and wish you a great weekend too.

have a good weekend!

flor1212...nah, I am definitely not arguing.

As to we are not aligned....seems like that..:)

I'll let you on your arguments!

flor1212…If you responding to my last post, which I presume you are, then I have said two things:

1. 'specifics' or not a private matter doesn’t remain so when posted on an open forum.

2. In nut shell the relationship started as a 'disposable' relationship.... and that itself makes the whole story that follows questionable.

Did I say ‘payment for services” or implied….none.

Now seems you have no issues on point 1. For point no. 2 please read the following excerpts which I copied for your ready reference:

Posted by OP on 25/4/2010 at 12.44 PM

And to the other jerks, what was I supposed to do in Doha for three years, NOT start a relationship with a girl because I knew I would have to leave in a few years? Listen to yourselves. Besides, she doesn't have any complaints. I made her life much better in those three years, and I made it clear to her we would have to split when I left. So screw all ya' haters.

Posted by me on 25/4/2010 at 12.52 PM

jdylan...lol...in 2nd para you say it wasn't a 'disposable relationship' and in the last para u say 'it was clear to her that the two of you would split when you left'....:)

Posted by OP on 25/4/2010 at 1.00PM

...disposable to me meant short term, that's all. Like weeks or months, but what should I have done? I liked her, should I have left her early on even though I liked her? It's a sad tale. We both liked each other but knew we couldn't get married, but I preferred her company to any other girl. And I can't live in the PI, what would I do there?

Hope you understand now.

comment on the thread. So it was Olive who started the "payment for services" thing. It was not the OP. What a mind!

if u really love ur girlfriend then go to philippines and marry her!!!!

ah the western notion of morality...........

and my point is that not only guy entered disposable relationship, not only he has eventaully paid for it, but what is most shocking is that he presents his action as a real merit, and he wants us to admire his goodness and "charity"...

people are really losing sense of boundaries between good and evil, between honour and dishonor, between dignity and depravity.. they forgot what the concept of honour is..

I don't say that we are all perfect, and that we are all doing only right things.. but at least one has to understand what is good and what is bad, and not to display his low stuff on public, and not to expect us to admire his low actions.. many men use prostitutes and pay them for their services, but it shouldn't be a reason for boasting and braging about it..

what a dumb thread

That's cool olive, no problem :)

I LIKE THE COMMENTS WHAT HE WRITE ABOUT HIS GF BEHAVING FOR SURE AS A HUMAN IS A BAD TO TREAT LIKE THIS, AND I THINK THIS IS THE BEST REVENGE TO SEND HER BACK TO MAKE EXAMPLE FOR OTHER'S WHO ARE SLEEPING, HE MAKE OPEN EYS FOR PI'S.

Well no merci I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I think he took advantage of her and just paid her off to assuage his guilt. But that's what I think. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

Olive, how do you define a "disposable " relationship? Is it a relationship where it was clear form the beginning that it won't end in marriage? Or together forever? I do not think this kind of relationship is uncommon at all.

And this girl was a cashier at Carrefour, and not happy with her job. Apparently she did not have an education to find a better job. This guy paid for education for her. Given, where we come from this is neither common nor necessary, but maybe her situation is a little different?

Sure, maybe from our point of what this guy did is something to frown upon, but maybe in this case it was something beneficial for the girl.At least now she is able to take care of herself, instead of relying on a husband or boyfriend to take care of her and her extended family.

I can't say I've ever been in a "disposable" relationship no merci, nor can I say I would ever accept a "gift" like this from a guy that I was in one with.

well said nomerci...

flor1212....'specifics' or not a private matter doesnt remain so when posted on an open forum. BTW if you read the whole thread you will find most of details too. In nut shell the relationship started as a 'disposable' relationship.... and that itself makes the whole story that follows questionable.

And yes, I for sure know 'contracts'....that is the business I am in...:)

Olive, I do not quite agree with that. Not every time we have a boyfriend do we think about marriage. Or did you want to marry every boyfriend you had?

I sure did not.

Any woman who is smart and has a dignity will never ever like to be a disposable item.

On the other hand, if the respect for a woman has a prize, then this prize is by marrying her.

I am not saying that ok go and marry all women, but I say this for those who has close relationship with a woman, dating her for one month or one or two years.

Marriage is committment and shared responsibility.

Read his subsequent responses. He does try to justify himself and put himself on a pedal above the rest of the guys in a "disposable" relationship.

ALIMONY

"This is payment for services rendered"

DOWRY

- payment to get married, lolz nyahahahahahahahaha

Good question Flor. Now let's see the answer of Olive and Azi.. ;)

let's just hope for the best (for the girl). If we speculate, let's do it positively!

And mind you, the OP never mentioned he did a "noble" deed. And he is also not asking but "encouraging". There is sure a difference between the two! IMHO.

it's gettin' better here lolz

Most of his post was reasonable. The only part where he got himself into trouble was his galls to come out and say he has done a noble deed and his asking others to follow in his noble path.

That just opened up a can of worms for himself.

what i am trying to imply in my post is...RESPECT to a lady is not just by means of marrying her.

allowed their female employee to "live together". I thought the OP and the girl are just "seeing" each other constantly (as many do here).

ANd about marriage you mentioned, may I add, until the girl's stomach become bloated that it would be very hard to hide? The best payment (or option), get married! Of course, it's only one case!

I feel like going to FILEXPAT...lol

hijack!!!

Olive said Well the respectable thing to ...

Well the respectable thing to do would be to marry her. Instead you just bought her off and shipped her off when you were done with her. but hey, at least you feel less guilty.

literal people are scary, man, literal people scare me

out there trying to rid the world of its poetry while getting it wrong fundamentally down at the church of "look,it sez right here, see!" Ani Difranco

Sun, 25/04/2010 - 12:13pm reply

- I based here and ur previous comments...

details (specific) of the arrangement. Are you familiar with "contracts"? The specifics were not mentioned and that's what we don't know. Don't speculate!

Marriage is a commitment to build a family TOGETHER, there is no payment involved. and I assumed sex because the OP mentioned that they lived together for 4 years.

wioth their sour faces :)

I am just surprised about your posting! I am not a hypocrite either, we are citing views. As I said above, you are entitled to your view as much as the OP in his.

Now, what is private and what is to be posted is in the OP's right. Just like you, you can post anything you want but don't preempt (or judge) on pure speculation! You keep mentioning "payment for sex", where in a hell it was mentioned?

Hypothetical question, Olive: For those involved in PRE-MARITAL SEX, can marriage be consider "a payment for sex"? Your view, please!

hey...got the shoes from the souq last night and you're right, it's simple and matronly...just like me...whehehehe

Pm-->FB

How can an arrangement between the two posted online for the world to view can be considered as a private matter???

Another OLD COW with SOUR MILK. MOOOOO!

chevy you are a confused person.

In one way the female has done a mistake of falling in love irrespective of the fact that she was married.

You are getting married so open to judgement on any thread where marriage is mentioned or so it seems ;-)

If it was a private matter flor why did he post it on a public forum? Also I find it quite funny that you keep making judgments about my background while telling me not to judge others. Hypocrit much?

Not quite catching what you're trying to say chevydjak.

RESPECT!...IMO

Like my arab lady colleague here, she told us that she got married by her father's will not hers... she just saw the man during engagement and wedding. Is that respect?...If the man respect a woman, he should court and ask the lady if she wants to marry him...not by force...which happens to many places and many people in this region...now Olive, is that respect to a lady by means of marrying her?

was not mentioned anywhere by the OP. But it was clear that the girl is married back home.

The arrangement between the two is a private matter and judging them (the two of them) is not healthy. There will always be two results. Positive (the girls was supported and finished her studies and get a better job). Negative (the guy finally abandoned her and the girl's future became bleak). Either way, no one among us can predict it but judging the OP on his move negatively is something very hard to comprehend coming from someone like Olive (who is soon to be married-western-style as she mentioned, do I need to know if the guy is western?).

Let's hope for the positive result and delay our judgment (maybe after four years or four months or four weeks) 'til we heard again from the OP what happens now! Fair enough???????????

I'd say the difference no merci is that when that Western couple entered the relationship it was with the idea that they would stay together, not that the relationship was a disposable one, like the jdylan said he entered.

I don't know if you're aware but more often than not, my female compatriots enter into such relationships NOT BECAUSE of financial benefits or the vision of marriage to a life of easy living and bliss.

unfortunately, not all are like that. Some wants companionship/partnership and whatever people wanna call it so it won't sound so immoral....lol

Looking at it in another perspective...the OP sent his Pinay girl to school (of which I hope he follows through the entire 4 years and all those expenses that goes with it) but how about the girl's family expenses.

Secondly, why didn't he married her during that entire 4 years they were here...together? Obvious reason would be "he's married back home AND THE GIRL KNOWS IT".

That's the sad part...need I say more?

I'm not siding with OLIVE. But I could say that she knows what she's talking about coz she may have a friend or two who may have had similar situation like this OP's GF...we may never know ;P

whose mind is full of "sex".

May I ask. Olive, do you love sex? What is your idea of sex? So everytime you see a mix couple, you are thinking of sex? When they cpme out of a restaurant and the guy send the girl to her car, it's a sexual thing! Is that it?

There is a saying,

"Why buy a cow, when you can get free milk"

It sounds to me that we have a couple of COWS who are bitter for giving away a lot of their milk, and now all they have left has turned sour.

So, I want to ask all of you this.

In the West, where relationships without being married are accepted, what would you say about a girl who happens to have a boyfriend that has more money than she does. He gives her jewelry, maybe a car ,simply because he likes her and wants to give her something nice...they live together and he pays for their living expenses.Both are in Uni. Then they break up, but not on bad terms, they simply need to move on , but they stay friends. He knows it will be hard for her, so he gives her money to continue her education.

What say?

Pot calling the Kettle black much Alumnar. As I see she entered in willing to a "disposable" relationship and accepted payment for it when it was over, and now the guy who paid her is urging others to do the same. I see nothing to respect there.

You seem to be the only one OBSESSED that there was payment for sex in the form of taking her away from a bad employment and giving her a better future by providing her with the possibility to study.

Maybe she should continue being a slave, maybe then she would not be 'condemned' for accepting to be looked after. And if that is how you understand 'relationship'... as being payment for sex, then good luck to you!

I am done with this topic, I can't stand small minded people who only see THEIR convenient side of every story!

So perhaps Alumnar every poor person in the world should accept payment for sex and then they can all make their way out of poverty. Is that what you're suggesting?

... to see Olive's (and many others) stubborn and ignorant attitude towards what is happening here. Most of you know NOTHING about the Philippines. You have not lived there, so can't appreciate the hardships that people face every day. Maybe it is better to stay here as a maid, used and abused by a local sponsor, or as a Carrefour worker, used and abused as well? Maybe you should try those kind of jobs for a while to see what it is really like Olive, then you would come off your high horse and face the world exactly as it is - cruel, full of cynics and users. OR you are just jealous that at least one Philippina actually made it out of here into a better life thanks to the education she is being provided with.

Guys…guys…take note the concerned persons are not in Doha anymore. Maybe they are now living with positive plan for the future.. who knows? So stop attacking them with biased judgment.. we are different people with different situation.

It's an accepted practice to live together in the West but most people do so with the idea that the relationship is heading somewhere Mehnis. You won't meet too many Western women that live with men that tell them they are in "disposable" relationship or would except this "generosity" when the guy tells her it's over. Those women who would are called prostitutes.

No, its not closed. I still have popcorn to eat and flor seems to have taken it personally for some odd reason.

anyway the matter is a closed chapter isnt it?

that's your opinion and Jdylan is entitled to HIS!

happy now?

flor now you are judging me, I am looking for a way to pay my way through college but rather than concentrating on my desire to study, you are concentrating on sex, how bad :P

FU what is the fun of having your own cake if you can't eat it :P

It could be a case of doing 'something' for her. You may be right in all your assertions of her being disposed. But then Olive life is not kind to most women of certain ethnicity and that too in Doha. Everyone of us are aware of the kind of stigma that is attached to them.

This chap may be bloating that he did for her which is far far better than nothing at all. And being a westerner it is an accepted practice to live together without any long term commitment. The relationship continued for four years itself says a lot.

If I just said that at the beginning this thread wouldn't still be entertaining people after 2 pages :P

Also there's no more Flag as Offensive and I wouldn't flag anyone anyway. Everyone has a right to their opinions.

ask Jdylan politely to delete his thread as it offends you rather than putting your initial comment! If your first comment is a request for deletion, maybe, I'll go with your opinion! MAYBE! You could just have flagged the whole thread!

No Flor I am just stating the obvious. Who the hell are we to pass judgements on anyone, or their lives or conduct and take some perceived moral high ground?? Please see my previous comments in this post. It is a life for everyone to experience in various ways and forms. We can be just wayfarers who can just assist or give a helping hand or a word of advice. That is all is our purview.

The OP never mentioned about "sex for education" thing, it just came out in the comments as implied. So it's really very irritating to give emphasize on such a b******t topic. if all you want to discuss this matter, open-up another thread and let us discuss it!

You can't have the cake and 'eat' it too...;)

Did he really do her a favour though Mehnis? Frankly I can't imagine going home to my parents and saying, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last 4 years who made it clear to me that I was simply a disposable relationship, is paying for me to go to school. If I was her mother or father....well....I would basically think that my daughter had pimped herself out. Personally I don't think it's much different then the girls who auction off their virginity to pay for school.

But again, that's not the point, if they're both happy with this arrangement then fine, the point is that he shouldn't be coming on to a public website and urging others to do the same. Filipino girls already have enough stereotypes against them in this country, they don't need posts like this making it worse.

When someone posts something on a forum, he is leaving himself open to judgements from others. I don't know why some of the people here are getting personal and all.

Now to come to the point, I still want to study further, comeon you ladies do a good deed, have sex with me for 4 years and then send me to college :P

Good gestures in life are so rare these days, more so in such relationships, that when they come it's difficult to accept.

Mehnis! Also passing "judgment"?

is that a fact or a "judgment" call, Olive? Do you know them personally?

This chap though IMHO he did what was best under the circumstances, he came across as a bit pompous, sanctimonious and self effacing. That is why this post gets gets under the skin. Otherwise he probably did much more for that woman than the majority who just use and discard

He already has abandoned his girlfriend flor. He just gave her some money when he did.

emphasize was given to the negative rather than the positive side.

So what do you suggest now, Olive? For jdylan to abandon now his gf? Are you making positive suggestion or opinion?

It's their life, what's wrong with yours? The guy did a good thing and personally, it's a good move.

And if anyone anticipate a bad result, just keep it for now and wait for the actual (bad) thing to happen (if you really think so). Do not generalize!

No point in just blaming the guy. Sure he's a jerk, but why did the woman not realize that, throughout the 4 year period? It's not like she didn't have much of a choice over here. I think single women to men ratio would be in the range of 1:200 or higher in Qatar. In the end, maybe she is happy with him? Lets hope he does pay for her whole education and she can get a better job as a result.

there are so many available out here isnt it? I think its all adjustments.

did you send her back after you left Doha? Was she under your sponsorship that you could send her back?

Where are you now? At least you could have taken her to the place where you are now. Or you could have tried out some other country where both of you could live together.

Why was that not done?

I just feel bad for the girl deepb, and all the other poor girls here in "disposable" relationships with jerks like this.

Olive don't pull the sex card, it's as bad as some others pulling the race card. It's clear that the guy was just doing it to clear his conscience, but if the woman accepted it, then who are we to judge.

But, his part in coming here and asking others to repeat his "noble" deed is laughable. Besides if he really cared about the womans deplorable work conditions in carrefour, why did he wait 4 years to react to it?

I say just let it go, it's just one stupid boy trying to clear his conscience.

Out of sight out of mind Azzy. She's back in the Philippines now and out of his hair, he's back in the West were he can get non "disposable" relationships. Who cares what happens to her now or that she may no longer be able to support her family if she doesn't finish school (or if he stops paying after the first semester)

compared here. ;P

I just hope (and pray) that the OP will support his GF all the way to the 4 years and government board exams and all those expenses.

Seldom does some would follow through with "their promises". After a few months of separation...one will disappear to oblivion. and THAT I'm more worried about...for the girl :(

I find it funny that with the exception of Alumnar only the men support this. The rest of the women seem to see right through this "act of charity"

Ahhhh... Olive. You took the words right outta my mouth! Good on ya girl for saying it like it is. ;o)

But he said that he is right in his action and went one step forward asking others to also do it. And talking of perception what may sound correct to one may be otherwise to other...that brings us to 'who are we to pass judgement on others" as to how they perceive.

@ arnel,what you mean is it's a sin for you,as long as you're not doing it,it's fine,somebody else doing it doesn't see it as "a sin" & since when do you have the right to judge what's wrong or right?...it's a matter of perspective,plain & simple,their life,their business,you or me have no right to judge it...they are in love,they're just not legally married,that's important to you but not for them,they are not you & you are not them,as long as they don't come & ask you to accept their view as right,you have no right to judge them because they're doing something YOU consider a sin/immoral...ever heard the phrase,live & let live...

My heart breaks while reading all the comments.

IF WE LOVE SOMEONE WE WILL FIGHT FOR HER/HIM NO MATTER WHAT.

sex is sacred for HUSBAND and WIFE because its an expression of LOVE.

sex done out of the context of LOVE is IMMORAL

if there's nothing formal and legal that binds between a man and a woman and they had sex is SIN

its a SIN

Easy for others to preach on here about moral values, they should swap positions and see how it feels! Specially the know-it-alls who know nothing about REAL LIFE!

Yup.. simple as that nice one gadarene!

The guy gave her a chance toward a better life,irrespective of wheather he marries her or not,he has done something to improve another human being's life,can the same be said for the rest of us preaching here?...including those who have had short-term girlfriends purely for sex?(& you & me know how many hundreds/thousands of those there are in this country)...so what if he's doing this in return for sex & companionship? i ask again,can the same be said for all those expat guys in Qatar who've had/have Filipina girlfriends?...you know the answer to that one...want to preach? go do it to those guys who use these women for sex,dump them & find another one when they tire of this one,'cos there are PLENTY more of them than there are of guys like this guy who's paying to put her through college...& please get off your moralistic high horse while you're @ it...

i'll be your GF, i want to do an MBA.

WK....okies....I withdraw my offer...lol

Come on guys ...lets not Judge people.....but I think the main point is that he could have had the easier way out.....and disowned her the moment she left Qatar.

FU said...

"A direct answer - No.

Fact - We are not talking about our loved ones here."

So how is it that this arrangement is fine for a Filipina but not for a loved one?

FU said...

"And I wonder if you would prefer it if the guy had not sent her to school."

I would prefer if the guy didn't get hooked up with someone for whom he did not have long term plans. And even if he did, I wish he would have the grace not to brag about it!

slaver I interacted with their management and complained about them too but to come and bash them on a public forum just because they treated your gf too harshly is unacceptable in my opinion.

Jackmohan I am asking only the ladies here GRRRRRRRR....

i dont think that most of the guys meet any manager from CARREFOUR personally. Try to meet and then talk here. They behave like they are only one in this world. Never treat you as a human. Try guys then you will know the pain of idylan

WK ...come to me I will give you Phd...

I always wanted to do Ph.D, Can any of you lovely ladies on QL use me for sex for a few years and then fund my Ph.D. course?

deepb pass the popcorn!

Urrghh!! Why i missed this one?? :(

jdylan ....You did a great Job....

You gave her much more (a future) than what she gave you....

A lot of times I too have thought that these young girls are missing on their higher education.

Gosh Olive.....no need to drag him over hot coals .... for having sex!!!

... is a signed piece of paper - and if 2 people love each other that piece of paper means NOTHING and changes NOTHING in how they feel for each other. The only thing here is the difficulty that certain nationalities face in getting married to each other, not only because of where they come from, but also because of their religion. IMO, for many nationalities, this piece of paper is ONLY important to get entry into the respective husbands'/wifes' country.

and I am sure the BF has ,annulment is not difficult .I got lots ofFirends in the Phils and a couple of Filipina closed friends working here who saves money for their annulment that takes only a year and now they are all happily married again.

If there's a will there''s a way. guess he is not ready yet to marry her .probably after her graduation from college.

To the OP,

If whatever you said is true, nobody could ever love that woman better.You have done a great job. Also, it's very appropriate to raise your voice against any kind of exploitation. I presume you are a white and very few white people will ever speak against exploitation by other white people.

But, I also understand why Ms O is having difficulty in accepting your story because there is an obvious loophole.If the guy got married, why couldn't you marry her? Of course , she can easily be divorced.

But, again we are all humans.You loved her truly, that's more than enough. Marriage would be definitely a better option, but it's better to be mentally well prepared for it. No marriage is better than an ill-fated marriage because of failure to cope up with cultural differences.

Lastly, showing someone a right path is much more dignified favour than simply paying off the ticket money as you have to really care for that person, keep yourself in that person's position and feel her pain and desire. In your case, you did both the favour to her. I hope Ms O will reconsider her view point.

I know many Indian guys who marry a woman for her money and spend a life time with her killing her bit by bit every minute of that wonderful everlasting marriage. So please don't attach overlie significance to the word 'marriage'.

you have YOUR opinions, and I have MINE. I have not replied to YOU, I have replied to jdylan. Think what you want, I really do not care about your extreme and unsensitive opinions on this topic. I have lived/worked for 2 years in the Philippines as one of many places I have lived and worked in the World, and I know for sure she is better off now then she was in Qatar. I am very happy she has a decent and straight boyfriend who cares about her and is helping her to study to get a better future.

Tatess, as a Philippina, you should know better how difficult it is to get an annullment. But then jealousy speaks louder on this topic! ;)

in the Philippines but there is the so called ANNULMENT.

so there is no excuse for you to marry her if you really love her.

I am sure ,you and the GF are all aware of it. Annulment is a cmmon thing in the Phil.

So you think Carrefour should pay their employees for sex after they've stopped being convenient for them and then write a thread on QL bragging about it?

I'm sure they'd be happy to take that into consideration Alumnar.

CONGRATULATIONS for caring about your GF. The right way to get her into the country you both want to be together is for her to have a diploma, and as her situation is complicated (no divorce allowed in the Philippines) you have both found the right way to do it. You have been together 4 years, sod what everybody else thinks, you both know how you feel and how you stand, so let the others just talk about it and attack you - in the end they are neither in your shoes nor living your life!

GOOD LUCK for her to achieve her degree so you both can be together as soon as possible!

Now maybe you all would like to comment on the way Carrefour treats their employees? Because they sure would learn a lot from JDYLAN!!!

Ah.. I think thats what I'm using... I'm so disoriented today. Time to get back on the popcorn.

go the store and get lurpack...it dosent get more danish than that

I wish I had some Danish butter for my popcorn. Will have to make do with some weird brand.

jdylan, I am personally angry with you, because you come up here, pretend yourself caring understanding person, you boast about paying her “fee”, and even accuse others of not doing the same to their girlfriends, who they slept with for few years..

have you even been taught what are right things to do, and what are wrong? If you had a clue about what is good and what is bad, you would never come up in here and start showing off your “heroism”..

Olive, I didn't read the entire thread (busy like crazy), but the idea itself is wrong.. like being with someone (no matter who is married and who isn't)for few years, and then to pay her, and the worst thing to present it as an achievement! he should hide illegal relationship with married woman, and he just displayed it to everyone's veiw, hoping we will encourage and praise him for his payment... jerk is jerk..

lol, ok I'm all out of the zen stuff. I know when it's time to fold. Please continue with the judging.

wrong place to rant :)

Deepb if he didn't want us to pass judgment about his personal life he shouldn't be bragging on a public forum. Rule #1 about public forums.

Oh but QS he's told us his sob story about how she's "already married" (though her husband could apparently marry someone else) and that he told her it was "disposable relationship"

...............THATS IT...............HEHHEHEHHE......................................................................................................GOODLUCK TO YOU.........AND STOP MARGINALIZED PEOPLE......HAVE FILIPINOS ALSO DONT KNOW SPEAKING ENGLISH.....OK....U DO WHAT U WANT AND STOP FOOLING OTHERS MIND..OK...

Whatever the point he was trying to put across, I certainly don't think he wanted people to be passing their judgement on his personal life. I think the post was a bit confusingly mixed up with part blaming Carrefour and part proving his own "greatness".

Of course the if you decide to convince your own conscience with some sort of lie, doesn't mean the rest of the world will buy it. But oh come on how was this poor boy supposed to know that ? :P

exactly my thoughts, Olive..

"I sent her back home".. why the hell you wouldn't marry her?? Unless you are already married and use to keep for years this girl for dirty satisfaction of your ego and other parts of your body/mind?

Now you pretend to be a hero? Now you can raise the voice against Carrefour management? and now you "pay for her services"??..

jerk!

So because you work out at the gym and the lady is 38 yrs old - older than you...... you are now implying she should be grateful....

Either you are deluded or you do not express yourself well in your posts if you don't see the egotism that comes across.

The guy wrote it on a public forum. If he isn't looking for judgment what is he looking for?

Honestly, I do agree with you SA. But it's not our place to pass judgement.

I like how you assume it would be me accepting alimony. Nice with the if and when, like I can't read.

I don't think any of us has a right to pass judgment. Olive as you prepare to enter a "traditional way of starting a life together", by accepting a ring, (Form OF PATMENT)

I just wonder what will be your payment when its over.

I did not say IF, I said WHEN.

ALIMONY

"This is payment for services rendered"

First time I agree with you, straight Arrow.

But do you agree with me deepb?

Thank you for passing your judgement SA.

because if you love her you could have married her and went with her to the philippine but you simply left her go by her self.

This for me could mean also that you had a problem with her or some arguments which makes life impossible between you and then you thought what is the best way to get rid of her so the idea of sending her to complete studying in the philippine was a good solution for you.

If you love some one then you never leave him.

If you love some one then you sure want to marry her.

It is simple you could have planned for wedding during the four years but you did not want.

All the above would make your story unrealistic.

Matinee show is ending Deepb. Hopefully!!!!!!!!!

Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, Children of all ages Let's get ready to RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEE..

In the blue corner from Canada, weighing 560 Pounds, standing at 5'11" OOOOOOLIVE

In the red corner from Canada again, weighing 765 Pounds, standing at 6'2" Jdylannnnnnn

I think I am watching too much pro-wrestling these days :P

Wooo, I missed this one. Gets some popcorn.

jdylan great is your reward... guys the issue is the carefour management... do we have a right to question their life? we tackling now different issue

Hey Jydylan. Relax. You are doing the same mistake as Olive. She jumped on you because your story was not totally believable and felt that you just exploited that female like 99% of men do in Doha. So she was just saying what is common knowledge.

You paid for her to go to school so you could assuage your own guilt about leaving her. You could have just ended it mutually and saved her her dignity, but instead you've "paid her off" and send her back to the Philipines. The only sad person here is you & the girl who accepted your payment.

Also kind of funny, about me "paying for sex". Just so you know, Olive, I'm relatively young and good looking and in shape as I spend many hours in the gym, and my GF is 38. Believe me, I didn't, nor do I have to pay for sex. We have a great relationship and never made her do anything she didn't want to do, and she enjoyed it as much as I did. No "guilt" whatsoever. But keep on, Olive. Keep trying to judge people as a whole, that whole "generalization" you do so well. Sad, poor Olive.

There was a lady who cleaned the apartment block in South Africa where my parents lived. They realised she was far too intelligent to clean but too poor to study.

They too paid for her to go to nursing school. Luckily this girl did not have to sleep with either my mother or father to get her education.

They couldn't solve the problems of the world but they helped one family.

Infact she is getting married soon. Next week or something...I'am outta here.

I think it is pretty clear that it was a mutually acceptable relationship which has drawn to a close now. He cared for her enough to help her out at school for her future benefit. The tone does not suggest any marriage but then every relationship need not end in marriage just for the sake of it.

It's done and it's over. He has done more than what other men normally do with some girls in Doha which is just use and throw.

Once again, olive, I'm not "urging other men to get in these short term arrangements with Filipina girls and "pay" them for it."

I'm urging them to treat them better and take care of them as they should, and not simply ignore them. Don't you have an "event" to plan or something? I'm tired or arguing with bitter spinsters.

...disposable to me meant short term, that's all. Like weeks or months, but what should I have done? I liked her, should I have left her early on even though I liked her? It's a sad tale. We both liked each other but knew we couldn't get married, but I preferred her company to any other girl. And I can't live in the PI, what would I do there?

Marry her, coward.

people are testy on QL ha ha

LOL: "I encourage all westerners here with GF's do them a favor and send them to school or something."

Again jdylan payment for services rendered. But whatever makes you feel less guilty right?

>>>he's coming on this site and urging other men to get in these short term arrangements with Filipina girls and "pay" them for it.>>>

Really? where did you read that? I believe what I said is something like "if you have a poor GF, be sure to take care of her instead of abandoning her". Sorry to get mean, but you're really coming across as dumb.

I like the interests on your profile:

"none of your business and I'm not looking for friendship and I don't want to know you nor give a flying f**k who you are.

Wow, sweet girl. No wonder you're mad at us westerners who date asian girls. Who would want to be with a charmer like you?

jdylan thanks for your kindness... but first what is your motives to the girl? do you plan to marry her... if not they call that is payment for her services sory to say ...please clarify..

for the management for carrefour should be dealt in Labour departments they can help us to the company voilators

Hope your motives is right

thanks

I already told I am at a higher salary than my colleagues who joined before me. Maybe you can borrow my reading glasses.

And business is all about making money, the more you make, the better you are. Hats off to them for making money even with a crap product.

jdylan...lol...in 2nd para you say it wasn't a 'disposable relationship' and in the last para u say 'it was clear to her that the two of you would split when you left'....:)

4 years? You could have married her four times.

Whyteknight, making a lot of money at the expense of your workers is not "great management", it's called "exploitation". Carrefour is all over Europe and those workers are paid 4-5 times what a worker in Doha is paid, plus great benefits. They are fully capable of paying more and treating their workers better.

>>>New employees get paid more than the existing ones in most industries>>>

Really? Name some, please. Or at least state some facts to back up this ludicrous statement. By this statement, capitalism itself would fail. Nobody would stay at their jobs because...why bother?! Really, dude. What college did you go to? Or should I file your statement in the same drawer as your "great management" statement?

its too early to pass any judgement on him...its their mutual agreement.

i would be happy to see them getting married and having a good life together..

LOL! is all I have to say to that. Regardless of his personal reasons for doing so, the fact of the matter is he's coming on this site and urging other men to get in these short term arrangements with Filipina girls and "pay" them for it.

I don't think this speaks well of him or the girl accepting the payment.

Whatever arrangement the two of you had is none of my buisness, but don't come onto a public site and brag about it.

Well it is pretty clear. Hey jydlan don't take all this too seriously. If you have done as you said then it is very honourable and quite an exception. Every day we hear about exploitation that is why I think most jumped on you.

I am sure no offence was meant at you.

Here we go guys.Now what do you have to say to that?

I can see that they have arrived. Olive sounds like the kind of girl who has been in a relationship and was dumped.

Just so you are aware, Miss "Self-Righteous" Olive, it wasn't a disposable relationship, as others call it. We met and stayed together for 4 years now and are still "together", even though we're apart. There is much more to the situation than you are aware of. She was forced to marry some jerk a long time ago, who soon ran off and married another chick. She hasn't seen him since. And thanks to the Catholic church in the PI, divorce is illegal. (I guess molesting children and protecting the priests is alright though). So that's why we're not married. And I tried getting her a visa to the US and Canada, and failed. So tell me, dear Olive who knows everything and spends all day on QL, what would you do? I'm doind the only other thing I can think of, is to at least send her to school so she can have a good job in the future and, being a nurse, can come to the states on her own.

Oh, to be as judgmental and self-righteous as Olive, the great know-it-all and judge-of-all.

And to the other jerks, what was I supposed to do in Doha for three years, NOT start a relationship with a girl because I knew I would have to leave in a few years? Listen to yourselves. Besides, she doesn't have any complaints. I made her life much better in those three years, and I made it clear to her we would have to split when I left. So screw all ya' haters.

A direct answer - No.

Fact - We are not talking about our loved ones here.

And I wonder if you would prefer it if the guy had not sent her to school. I know a lot of people who have GFs and they just part ways. And for your information, not all girls accept 'payment' here. So the fact that he sent her to school means that he cares for her. Just like you and I care for our 'loved ones'.

No no verisimilitude I am not getting into a discussion with you, there will be calls to deport me next. I respectfully step away.

Whatever they do with their GFs I am not bothered, it's between them but your description of Carrefour is funny, that cheap store selling plastic junk from China is making huge profit, it should be called great management. They are making money even though their product is crap. New employees get paid more than the existing ones in most industries, I for one get paid more than people who joined here 2-3 years before me.

Accepting a ring is the traditional way of starting a life together. Men also get wedding rings. This is payment for services rendered & the worst part is he's encouraging others to do it.

I wonder if they'd feel the same way about a guy who does this to their loved ones... FU... WK... ?

Oh...my bad...didnt figure it ...:)

Crap happygolucky took out all the fun.

Accepting a ring is accepting a form of payment.

WK...he is already out of Doha...:)

Real women don't need payment for their services spongeboob, nor would we accept it.

There will be calls to deport you now jdylan ;)

It sounds to me like all the haters never got this type of payment for their services!

The self righteous have arrived.

jdylan... its bad enough that you get in to a 'disposable relationship' and now you consider it a good deed?

I respect tyrant managers to guys like you any day...

Maybe but I'am giving the guy a chance :)

Let go Olive. We don't have all the facts and do not know anything at all other than making assumptions on this post. Forget it. Just an exercise in futility.

I am just saying that don't pass a judgement and crucify this chap without a hearing. There are exceptions for all human situations. Lets hope he really has not 'paid' her off and 'dumped' her.

I think you're very naive FU if you really think this is anything more than paying the girl for her services.

about his personal decisions are baseless. It is very difficult to marry someone while being at Qatar and one needs to plan out things before committing to someone for life. Moreover there are many here who look at such women as short term solution for their short term desires. This doesn't seem to the case here. Sending someone to school is not a short term act of 'payment'. There has to be considerable thought and a commitment to invest. Maybe he'll marry her later. And whoever said that marriage is a better option.

Of course it will be harder for her Mehnis, he's paid her off now he can sleep soundly.

If he cared for her he wouldn't have left her. This is just payment for her months of sex and an ease of his guilt about abandoning her.

Actually Olive I would not jump to judge him so harshly. This post was all about him trying to bring the practices of Carrefour in the public eye. Only time can tell if he had conveniently 'paid' her off for the perceived services.

He will bear his cross should it be so. It is not so easy emotionally for either of them to shrug off a long relationship. Though it would be harder for her.

to be the apt act according to you in exchange for sleeping with the girl, many here would be married to tens atleast. Maybe a short term affair was a better agreement. Sending to school is a bonus :P

I don't care that they had sex Mehnis what I find hilarious is that he paid her for it and is now bragging about it trying to make himself sound like a "big man"

If he considers speaking English as a criteria for being better than others and looks down upon other nationalities. then jdylan is no better than the people he is complaining about.

And I'am quite amused I must say!

Sleeping around or with anyone is not such a big deal Olive. There is no question of morality or of using anyone. There has to be a willing party too to be 'exploited' as you think it was. And he says that she has been with him from the 'beginning' which is a couple of years or so.

Even if their living together for so long might not confirm to your ideals, he is likely someone who cares for her.

Well the respectable thing to do would be to marry her. Instead you just bought her off and shipped her off when you were done with her. but hey, at least you feel less guilty.

FU didnt u see a Qatari turned a westerner here? lol

Of course it is a "repayment", but more than just sex. Also, if a husband buys his wife jewelry, isn't it for the same reason? Believe me, is the wife wasn't sleeping with the husband, he wouldn't be giving her anything but a divorce. Funny how you take something positive and make it negative. I have no obligation to do anything for her.

And I mention the Nepalese because that is who Carrefour is hiring to replace the Filipinos, and none speak English. I'm just writing what I heard. Nothing against them.

of mutual goodwill :)

So how many days left Olive?

Pffft FU, it's called "white man's burden"

Straight Arrow, Get off your Soap Box and quit your preaching. U are not who you claim to be and have no right to criticise anyone.. YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE.

It's called 'taking care'.

So that was her payment for sleeping with you for a few year?

do you think that all westerns and expats like you?

I mean include some bad hidden comments on life in Doha.

jdylan you are not thankful and who is not thankful does not thank does not deserve to be in Doha, because Doha is the Capital of the country where people are thankful and helping each other and show the highest degree of generousity.

Good job.....but was it necessary to name other nationalities here. As you are sensitive towards Filipinas here, so am I about Nepalese here. I speak English you see...

Education is the best gift one can give to someone. I'am very happy for you and your girlfriend. Relationships at Doha tend to be tentative affairs which end with the tenure at Doha. Most people move on and do nothing for their loved ones left behind. You did a truly noble work!