Shabo's story, chaptere 4
Shabo had from the outset bore in her mind that their relation, however profound, was only temporary. They were bound to part in the end. She knew, that although it is said that relations are made in the heavens, it is rare that a spousal relationship between a master and an heirless maid is ever witnessed. In a way, this was good for her as well. She was not like most of other girls who, no matter how impossible, always enter into a relationship with a man, in a hope to get married to them one day, even if it is slightest flicker of hope. For Shabo it was always clear that she indulged in the relation only because she had no other chance, she knew it was a mere pastime, yet it was worth the while.
She used to wonder if she would ever get married. Who will be the man who will marry her, and how it would be if he would find out she was no more a virgin. Often when she drowned herself in such thoughts, she quickly got out of them, discarding them as unnecessary worries.
Time elapsed. Sadat was about to finish his university education. It was planned that he would come home and start a job. In the university, Sadat got introduced to other girls. One of them, Sana Baloch, unusually took his fancy. Sana Baloch, nicknamed dollie, was extremely beautiful. She had big green eyes and a sensually carved, slim figure (hence the nickname). Her face was fresh as a rose and her neck white as alabaster. Her unusually sizable bust had many other girls get envious and many other students speculate that she had undergone surgery, or most likely she was using big pad. The fact, however, is that her beauty was all natural.
Sadat and Sana became friends and how this happened was a mystery no one could tell. They did not take the same courses and he was two years ahead of her. Anyways, they became quite close and could be seen together almost all the time. Rumor had it it was Sana who had liked Sadat and had messaged her on Facebook, if he wanted to be a friend. No one however could tell so for certain.
It was so interesting that Sadat's principles which seemed so strong when it came to not marrying Shabo because he had been engaged to his cousin, became meaningless for him when it came to marrying Shabo. After spending some 'quality time' with Sana, he realized what a silly man he had been to waste time in having an affair with Shabo.
Sana gave Sadat a different experience. She belonged to a very rich family and had a taste for cosmetics, dressing and branded stuff. Sadat had no notion of what this meant. He was obviously impressed. Gucci's Envy Me, a perfume introduced to the market the same year, was her favorite and she seemed to pour it onto herself one bottle a day. She used to wear a new Junaid Jamshed's dress almost every day, and it seemed like they had been made for her on order, not ready-made, because they fitted her so very well. Her hand bags were either Chanel, Tommy, or Burberry. Sadat was literally struck by this glamor and glitter of her newly made friend Sana.
It wont be wrong to say the next few months, Sadat never thought of anything else but Sana. He did not even call home that frequently. He just spent his time with Sana, who for curious reasons, liked him so much (his attraction towards her was ok, but why was she so keen on him? What did she see in him?) They started eating out at the finest restaurants. Sadat wondered how the hell did he remain unaware of the fact that life could be so different if you had money. He had never thought the taste of KFC chicken pieces when eaten in the hostel room is quite different from the taste of Chicken boti masala when eaten at fine restaurant in the company of a beautiful woman who knows all too well how to make the man 'feel' her presence in the most exotic way.
Sadat had stopped wearing the five hundred each shirts and nine hundred jeans and trousers. Sana used to take her to branded outlets where he bought some really finest stuff. His metamorphosis was so remarkable. Whether it was this fresher, much dandier look or the company of Sana, many a girl started to fancy him. He too could feel the difference.
Sana had introduced Sadat to her parents, who, it was obvious, appeared to liberal compared to his own mommy, to not say anything about their daughter having a boyfriend. He used to visit Sana's home once in a couple of weeks and was now known to the servants as babo jee.
I agree the story ended rather too abruptly; however, it was because of the MODS interference. I posted different threads thinking that it would create more webpages (I am a webdesigner of sorts) and thus there would be more adverts so it would be good for the site as more pages generate more clicks. I really did not feel like writing further, but since I had promised to people to finish this story (I could not finish any in the past due to my schedule), I thought I would rather not go back on my words.
very abrupt end indeed....but the way mods were interferring , it will be no end..... i wont say remarkable , but not bad :-)
u just did a good job with ur busy routine
What an abrupt end to the story... I would have preferred some more chapters...
it looks like somehow you wanted to conclude the story..:)
It is not always possible for stories to end in happiness. Some stories are bound to end in doom.
I don't like the end. It should be a happy ending :(
Although Sadat never complained to Sana about her obsession with the internet, one day he became upset when he had to sleep for almost a week everynight when Salma was still busy with the computer in the other room. He had an argument with Sana who, it seemed, needed the slightest provocation to flare up. She shouted at Sadat, reminding him how backward and unsocial he was. The matter escalated and in the end she left his house.
Sadat's mother, who was such a simple woman, was certain that the fight was the result of some magic, some spell. It was not difficult for her to speculate who was behind casting the spell. For her no one else than Zarina or family could do so. Sadat felt probably it was Shabo who had been behind the magic spell out of jealousy. He thought it was not a good idea to keep the girl there, as she would always do the same.
Salma Durrani asked the driver to rush her to the Daewoo Bus Station (the only bus service which is used sometimes even by the very rich since it offers some semblance of good service). She knew Sana would be there and she would attempt to convince her to come back home with her.
In the Daewoo Station, Sana made such a scene. She shouted at Salma and told her what a lousy family hers was. Salma told her not to raise her voice as everyone was looking on, and many people knew her. But Sana was to make an exhibition of herself. She did not listen to Salma and kept on shouting. By that time, it seemed like the Salma and Sana were surrounded by a crowd of curious by-standers.
At the very same time, two masked gunmen broke into Sadat's house. When they found Sadat in front of his room, they yelled, "where is your wife?" Shabo was cooking in the kitchen at the time, when she heard the commotion, she ran out to see what was going on. Apparently, the two men were paid assassins sent in by Zarina's family to take revenge on Sadat and his new wife for the insult they had caused. The two men shouted at Shabo, "Who is Sana?" Shabo said, "Why? What do you want from her? Ask me?" And then one of the men pointed his klashinkov at Sadat who turned pale and became motionless. Shabo rushed to stand in front of him, arms open, trying to shield Sadat. The merciless assassin did not care to say anything even and pulled the trigger spraying a heavy load of bullets into Shabo and Sadat's bodies. Salma came home, unaccompanied by her daughter in law and found her son and Shabo lying dead in a shared pool of blood.
No, I havent, what is it? Could you just tell me please maestro. You are indeed perfection! I am so very impressed with your extraordinary English and linguistic skills. I wonder why the hell they exalt Shakespeare as a good playwright. For me, it is certainly you, not him in the least. lol
Huh se/gand, ever heard of internet slang. PU
Well, you are correct. It takes nerve to do that. She was indeed brave.
Just a few points.
Grammatically speaking, this is bad English. Ideally, a complete sentence, not a clause, should precede a period. Furthermore, customarily, a full stop should not be used in titles.
There is no word such as shud in the English lexicon.
You shud write in ur native language or need to work more on literary English, it needs improvement.
Son, there are a zillion blunders in the above construction ranging from spelling and punctuation to syntax to diction.
A reasonable revision for you would be as follows:
a. You should either write in your own native language, or work more on your English in order to make it more literary. Your English really needs imrpovement
OR
b. You had better write in your own language which is native to you, or may be you can work on your English to make it better. You need to improve your English.
OR
c. Why dont you write in your own language? You have to work alot to be able to write English in a literary style.
Write in first person, it gives story more perspective, the way u r writing looks more like narrating a tv serial.
Even a third grader can tell you what is wrong in the above construction. I wont call it a sentence since that would be a huge insult to grammar. I am not going to correct this one for you, because your English is incorrigible. Before lecturing someone on style, learn to write a single sentence correctly.
Just a few points.
You shud write in ur native language or need to work more on literary English, it needs improvement. Your lines seem translated at times.
Write in first person, it gives story more perspective, the way u r writing looks more like narrating a tv serial.
you can just continue it here since the MODS does not want multiple posting....
tfs... continue...
Sana's family decided that wanted the wedding in the most extravagant wedding hall in the city: Kashana. They suggested that since it is the marriage of their first daughter, they wanted it really big time. Salma did not like such showy things but she still accepted the request and the marriage was decided to take place in the hall.
The night before his marriage when Sadat went to bed, a stupid worry came to his head. What if Shabo got jealous, or vengeful? What if she disclosed the affair with him in the past. It was at this time he realized how important it was to have taken Shabo into confidence. He started to worry. He was unable to sleep. He wished he could just talk to Shabo to know what she thought. But it was too late and he had no chance to talk to her. Their house was full with guests and he would have no place to talk to her in private. Besides, this act itself may pose a problem for him. Sadat kept tossing on the bed till early morning and then he slept for just an hour only to be awakened by his sisters to get ready. Upon awakening the same fear started gnawing at his heart. He started reciting some holy verses praying God that everything happened without a problem.
The wedding ceremony took place normally. All the guests present were impressed by the extravagance. Shabo did not create any problem. In fact, she was one of the people who danced alot, Salma had asked her to do so, and kept dancing until near the end of the ceremony, when someone whispered something in her ears (most likely asking her to do some work) and she left.
After returning from their honey moon, which they spent Hong Kong, Sadat and Sana started to live in Sadat's house. That night when Shabo came to serve tea to Sadat and Sana, Sana stopped her to ask her a few things. Although her attitude was rather bossy, she did not ask anything wrong. She asked her how old she was, whether she was married, and things like that. When Shabo left, Sana remarked, "she is pretty, isnt she?" Sadat was too absorbed in thoughts of the past to answer promptly. He then jerked and said smiling, "I do not know, to me there is only one girl who is pretty, and that is you". Sanaa smiled ear to ear without saying anything.
Although Sadat completely loved Sana, he was not just happy with one of her habits: her addiction to the internet. Sana never talked to him before marriage how much time she used to spend on Facebook and Yahoo messenger. Sadat did not have a problem usually but sometimes when he would wait for his wife in the bed and she would get late, this upset him. He however never complained to Sana about this.
:(
This time when Sadat came home, he was a bit different. He never stayed with his mother or sisters and seemed glued to the telephone all the time. He informed his mother about his nascent association with Sana Baloch. His mother was thunderstruck. She wondered if Sadat had gone crazy?
"Son, have you forgotten that Zarina is waiting for you?"
"I havent, but I am not going to marry Zarina, I will marry Sana only."
For the first time Sadat was so rude to her widowed mother. She had not realized by the then she was too weak to control her son. She cried at her helplessness. A few days later Sadat tried to explain to his mother that it was never his intention to hurt her, but that he had never thought of Zarina as his wife, and he could never lead a happy life with her.
His mother, although she would never accept it whole heartedly, had to surrender in the end. They booked a flight to visit Sana's house. It was interesting to find out that Sana and Sadat's fathers had known each other. Sadat's sisters felt so extremely awkward at their simplicity in front of the ultra modern family of Sana Baloch. Salma did not like the liberal ways of the family of her would be daughter in law. She did not say anything however, she could not. Sana's family agreed.
The next task was inform Zarina's family about Sadat's decision. This was the difficult task. Salma had to walk over the dead body of her conscience to do so. When she went to the house of her sister, Zarina's mother, everyone was so happy to see her. The tea pot dropped from Zarina's hand as she was pouring tea into Salma's cup and heard her talking about her son's wishing to marry another woman. The family was literally devastated.
The effect of Sadat's decision was so intense on Zarina's family. Not because Sadat was something out of this world, but because her name was attached to his, and this sudden change of course would raise suspicions, something that happens more often than not, about Zarina's character.
Of all this, the most interesting part was Sadat's complete disregard of Shabo's existence anywhere in the equation. He seemed to have forgotten if anything existed between the two. She came to know about Sadat's decision very late, the day when she heard Salma talking to Sana's mother the wedding plans.
One would have expected Shabo to have become furious at that point. At least she did not deserve to be kicked out of his life in such a way. At least she deserved an explanation. On the contrary, however, she did not show any emotion. She behaved just normally. Sadat never told her anything. It was as if nothing was there between the two.
Sadat spoke to Sana in English, a language, which only he could understand in the house. He kept on talking to her all the time, discussing plans about wedding, honey moon, jobs and so forth.
The family set a date for marriage. Just after Eid.
Envy Me, Strawberry Shisha, Zafirah, Yazleb and every other reader of my story, stay tuned, I shall be sharing the finale anytime soon.
Green Signal. You got a point there.
The son of Adam abuses Time. You definitely have imagination. But this imagination is just a waste of time, energy and life...Donot waste your time in fantasy and imaginations that reach nowhere.
type faster faster!!! we need more!! dont worry about the typo's who caresm when the script is so good :-D
She also has a good taste in perfume ;)
can't wait for the continuation....
thanks!
more segmund..tfs :)
Hey guys I know the text above is full of typos. Please ignore them as I do not have the time to proofread. Thanks.