Society of second wives
Being a born and bred Canadian there are certain topics we discuss, debate, and hear about naturally all of the time. A big one - same sex marriage , this is legal in Canada, and the argument put forward is that the business of consenting adults is not the business of others. Again, that is FOR Canada - I am not here to discuss that issue in this post.
I am here to discuss a far more mysterious topic - the issue of multiple wives and the double standards that exist in discussing, debating and hearing about that topic. Here’s the thing, polygamy is illegal in Canada, and for those who practice it they go to jail. Fine. That’s Canada and that’s their laws.
What intrigues me though is that for Western expats in Qatar they are often horrified at the practice of polygamy in Qatar. Again, a legal act here. What befuddles me is the fact the whole consenting adults argument flies out the door. What the Qataris do is somehow all of our business to discuss and disagree with.
Why don’t we just say “hey, that was their choice, they are consenting adults” and walk away from it?
It’s a tiring double standard. We are not here to scrutinize and criticize every action these locals might do that are not socially acceptable in our own lands. Yet, if Qataris criticize anything about our laws, our social norms, and our ways of life - we immediately discredit them as being backwards, uneducated, unsophisticated, Wahabi and... whatever else we can say to put them down.
I’m a live and let live kinda person. I have my own battles, life, and issues to deal with, that caring about any marriage topic; whether it be same-gender or polygamous doesn’t concern me. If it doesn’t have to do with me - I don’t care. I’m neither a proponent nor opponent to either.
Yet, the people that vehemently defend one type of adult relationship are so strongly opposed to the other form of adult relationship. It’s contradicting. And Mildly annoying.
It’s other people, it’s their business, they are adults, it’s their choice… so why should we care?
satisfaction and contentment will make a path for you but not all people have same scenario. do it as long as you are not hurting anyone unless ur a thug :D
sometimes you gotta bust one more then one nut
Monogamy is a legal law, not a religious law. There are only few exceptions like Mormons in Utah or Muslims because their states are run by religion.
Not going to get into a religious argument / discussion.. I'll leave that to experts
@Brit Expat: The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.
"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]". QURAN AN-NISA (THE WOMEN) 4:3
PS: The above statement posted is just for clarification intention and not to hurt or confront any body.
Thanks,
Are you sure it is not traditional. It existed even before Islam came into being. I can debate about its Quantic sanction but let us not get into it.
Mufti: Surely the suffering occurs when the system is abused - It is not tradition but something allowable in the religion.
I recall talking to a Saudi guy a few years ago about this topic. He said that the practice is on the decrease -
It is sad to see people endorsing polygamy. I have seen women suffering due to this tradition. And It represents male dominance.
We should put a limit on our mind not the number of the items our mind wishes day & night ............
Remaining 30% are neutralized with their illusion that they are superior than the others ..............
Brit, A person with 75 - 80 kgs weight need to be okay with 4 slices of bread & two omelettes plus a big mug of coffee ...... over & above this is called a mind which is Out of Control ....... .... A desire can't be satiated ....... from out side ......... we have to mend our mind ....... from within ..............
MM: Are you saying that polygamy is more to do with lust ?
Greed & lust have spoiled 70% of the human beings ....... .............
Yes, i have to agree with brit, it would be un-natural and unsustainable for human life on earth.
You cannot have "ALL" same sex marriages in the world.. It is impossible.
Imagine, there were all same sex marriages on earth, and visualize its devastating results, with no babies, no new generation, no new life in continuity on earth. Therefore the nature has put up limits on certain things.
So, the same sex marriages are unnatural, because the nature has created the practices of life on a continuity basis.
On the other hand, Islam, which is a religion of "Nature" has allow men to marry with more than one wife, because the men's are prone to earlier deaths, as compared to widowed women and higher quantity of women, created by the God.
So, polygamy is, in fact, a product of "Nature" with natural benefits to the mankind.
I'm surprised.. Having lived in Qatar for a while, I haven't met many expats who would criticise polygamy.
Those who criticise don't understand the underlying objectives or the culture. Also, the media usually skews this discussion by bringing into play issues like equality and choice . A common theme is "why can't women have four husbands"
In addition, there is the issue of abusing the facility. There are a few rogues who use this to marry and divorce multiple wives..
At the end of the day, we forget that Polygamy exists in may societies - even amongst mormons in the USA,.
The bottom line is - To each his own.
The more you drown your self in the mud the more difficulties would be waiting for you ........ with every rising sun ........... !!