Special training program

NEW
COMPANY PROGRAM

I want to share
with you a new program the company I work for is
instituting. It is
called 'Special High Intensity Training'. Here is
the memo we received:

In order to assure the
highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it
will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained, through our
program of Special High Intensity Training
(S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than
anyone else does.

If you feel that you
do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your
manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of
the S.H.I.T. list, and
our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the
S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who do not
take their S.H.I.T.
will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation
Programs (D.E.E.P.
S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to
go to Employee Attitude Training ( E.A.T.
S.H.I.T.). Since your
managers took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they do not
have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are
full of S.H.I.T.
already.

If you are full of
S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training
others. We can add
your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those
who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can
apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T.). If you have any questions, please
direct
them to our Head Of
Training Special High Intensity Training ( H.O.T.
S.H.IT.).

Thank you,

Boss In General
Special High Intensity
Training
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)