Things to prove you're a Bombayite...
This is fun for those who have
lived in or around Bombay...
THINGS
TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE.
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to
know that this means south of Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of
Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3.
Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in
one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important
events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you
spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.
8.
You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you
think it's a "steal."
9. You have the following sets of friend: school
friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train
friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
10. Cabbies and bus
conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name,
they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar
Road, Altamount
Road.
11. Stock market quotes
are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow
passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is
the "Bombay Times" supplement.
13. You take fashion seriously. You're
suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
14. Hookers,
beggars and the homeless are invisible.
15. You compare
Bombay to
New York's
Manhattan instead
of any other cities of India.
16. The most frequently
used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT,
and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati
Shivaji
International
Airport.
18. You consider eye
contact an act of overt aggression.
19. Your idea of personal space is
no one actually standing on your toes.
20. Being truly alone makes you
nervous.
21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the
monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
22. Only in
Bombay, you
would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
23. You call traffic policemen
as 'Pandus" and expect out-of-towners GANDUS to understand
that.
B_O_M_B_A_Y
Bombay has no
bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a
gate. It is a railway station.
There is no darkness in
Andheri.
Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.
No king ever stayed
at Kings Circle.
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at
Victoria Terminus.
Nor is there any princess at
Princess street.
Lower Parel is at the same
level as Parel
There are no marines or sailors at Marine
Lines.
The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.
There
are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.
Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads,
not three lamps.
Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar Tram
Terminus (Dadar T.T.).
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat
market.
Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.
You cannot
buy coal at Kolsa street.
There are no Iron smiths
at Lohar chawl.
There are no pot makers at Kumbhar
wada.
Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.
Null
bazaar does not sell taps
You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi
Bazaar.
Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.
Hanging
Gardens are not
suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
Figs do not grow
in Anjir Wadi,
Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal
Wadi,
Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi
But it is true that you
may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!!!
AMCHI MUMBAI
A
City where everything is possible. Especially the impossible.
Where
lovers first love and then marry, Where there is place for every Tom, Dick and
Harry
Where telephone bills make a person ill, Where a person cannot
sleep without a pill.
Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen, Where the
road is considered to be a dustbin,
Where college canteens are full and
classes empty, Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,
Where a cycle
reaches faster than a car, Where everyone thinks himself to be a
star,
Where sky scrapers overlook the
slum, Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,
Where people first act
and then think, Where there is more water in the pen than ink,
Where the
roads see-saw in monsoon, Where the beggars become rich soon,
Where the
roads are levelled when the minister arrives,
Where college admission
means hard cash, Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.
This is
Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every
year!
"Where it's ok to take a dump by the roadside" Add this to your list.
Only International airport adjoining a slum :)
Its not "Town" but "Fort", as in I m going to fort today.
The name Marine Lines is named after the Marine Battalion Lines, a military establishment built by the British.
Dadar East is popularly called Dadar T.T. because it housed the Dadar Tram Terminus which was closed with the closure of the tram network. But I dont know Why Dadar West is known as Dadar B.B.
Kumbhar Wada in Dharavi, 90 feet Road is still a pot making zone.
Null Bazar is still a market for taps as well as all sanitary ware, locks and even gold shops.
At QR 0.07 Land line & QR 0.09 mobile to mobile anywhere in the country .....Telephone charges in India are the cheapest in the World.
Chor bazar is a second hand market but small time thieves do sell the stollen goods there under the guise of used goods. Thus the name.
And of course dont forget ...."Nazar hati to goti gull" which means If you blink for a second you could loose your balls.....lol. Which is true in most big cities around the world.
....these are the only corrections I could find .....the rest is perfect I guess.