anyway, the trick is to show ur MIL that u love and take care for her son.
ir all about ur female abolity to be a family politician.
BUT, remember that u should never allow ur MIL to abuse u with her rules and never let her try to control ur life.
make a visible line for her, that she shld not cross. if u get into an argument, just say that u want some trust from her, that u want to lead ur family on ur own and u can only learn it by urself; that u will surely need her help in it, but when u will, u will come to her for, as the "expert", but to let u try on ur own.
if she forgets it, keep on reminding her abt it.
there is no way, she cld say anything negative to it.
on the contrary, she shld value u more.
and on the top of all, put urself in her shoes sometimes ;o)
good luck to all the future MILs!
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
Even though I joked about her, my MIL is very sweet to me and to my kids. Because we don't speak the same language, we have to get by on smiles and hugs. And we've done some serious bonding while cooking together, lol!
Wisecracks are made to be funny...but coming from you, I don't think so.
I make fun of myself and my situation, I can share jokes and banters ONLINE with folks here as I do with Magic Dragon. But with you? better tread carefully...
If you find other posts offensive, no skin off my nose. And if you still don't get what I'm trying to say...PITY!
i guess it's just an unnecessary sense of insecurity.....that their son is having another important woman in his life....whether his love for his mother will go down to some extent,etc.
I am always amazed at how "daughter in laws" complain about mother in laws and then forget their experience , once they themselves become "moths in law"
it's common in our culture, as I've said only between the two women. In general, there is no big deal between a man ang his mother-in-law because man in our culture is tolerable toward their in-laws. It's really the women fighting for attention of their so/husband. So, for me. no big deal between man and in-laws.
BTW Azi, some gave also wisecracks but why single me out. Mine is not funny? I find the other's offensive rather than funny? And you started the wisecracks, remember mentioning two MOL emphasizing the O as Out? Good morning to you, too!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
My mother is a wondeful mother-in-law and my two sisters-in-law consider themselves lucky to have her as a mother-in-law. My mom has always firmly believed that one should treat a daughter-in-law like a daughter and she has stood by that belief even after my brothers got married and their wives came to live with us. We are a big joint family. My parents, my two younger brothers, their wives and their kids (one each) and of course myself.. Touchwood .. MashAllah so far we have not had any problems.. We are one big happy family just like how they show in hindi movies or tv serials like baa bahu aur baby.. So please don't give a bad name to mother-in-laws bcoz all aren't the same.. All five fingers are never the same.
Treat your Mother in law like your own mother..she will treat you like her Daughter/son. If Our mother is rude with us..we will forget it soon...But if our mother in law is rude/mean with us...we make a big deal.
Be thankful to your MIL for giving you a good Husband/wife.
Ahlan wa sahlan, ya Princess Habibah! I am arriving in Doha on Wednesday and the FIRST thing I will do is a Moroccan hammam as well. Nothing else works so well on jet lag.
aah finally welcome to Doha..We are all fine thanks. Hope your settling in nice. Speaking of mother inlaws did you mange to secure an appartment for her?
I don't think mother in laws realize their actions as much as they focus on percieved actions of the daughter in laws. I mean sometimes their mentality puts barriers in the way of rational insight into daughter in law-husband situation and, frankly, they get the wrong impression and come up with bad solutions.
1.) generation gaps -- no a pair of trousers does not cost 10 QR anymore and yes women enjoy working.
2.) different set of social rules-- no we are no longer in the deep south where the husbands bad behavior is overlooked in order to keep peace in the home. Women these days now have the right to speak their mind and need to protect themselves.
3.) Don't know their own child--- no he is not that perfect angel still in nappies. Yes he is still obsessed with any pair of tits he can find.
4.) Jealousy --- don't worry no matter how hard we try a boy will never stop loving his own mother the most. Hell he married us so we could be just as perfect as her.
and have a family of her own, she knows I'm gonna be there to support her and her husband (to be) along the way.
I did have MOLs for quite a while so i know what it's like. And knowing my daughter's stubborn streak came from me, my future SIL will need all the help/advises he can get...lol
As for my son (who's just 10 y/o), I don't know if i'm still alive to see him wed...
but I have heard of some horror stories from friends..
One friend's MIL hated her so much that she would not just ignore her at Christmas time...but give her son something really expensive, like a matching set of designer suitcses and a ticket to travel overseas, and her daughter in law got a box of chocolate covered cherries.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
true shedbabe, but after a while tolerance does wear off a bit..Although i have no complaints about my mother in law, like i said i live in a different country :-)
one loves me more than her son's 2nd wife (stupid girl ACTUALLY MARRIED HIM)...and still wishes I stayed with her son (who's still under her skirts).
2nd mother in law doesn't even know I (and her only grandson) exist. Her dodo of a son wasn't man enough to admit it to her.
I consider them mother(s) OUT(side) of LAW since I was never married to their sons...and GOOD THING TOO. Or else, I'll be tied to the house with children and to husband who got no balls.
that is why it's better to have a separate home after marriage. And the man has to stand by his wife because they are now made as one. The mother has to step back a little and must understand that the cute boy she once have is already having his own life.
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
Husbands/sons are bad. They fail to set the priorities. Husband - wife, that's number 1. Everything else, including mother and family, are number 2. Once you clarified this, you won't have a problem.
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anyway, the trick is to show ur MIL that u love and take care for her son.
ir all about ur female abolity to be a family politician.
BUT, remember that u should never allow ur MIL to abuse u with her rules and never let her try to control ur life.
make a visible line for her, that she shld not cross. if u get into an argument, just say that u want some trust from her, that u want to lead ur family on ur own and u can only learn it by urself; that u will surely need her help in it, but when u will, u will come to her for, as the "expert", but to let u try on ur own.
if she forgets it, keep on reminding her abt it.
there is no way, she cld say anything negative to it.
on the contrary, she shld value u more.
and on the top of all, put urself in her shoes sometimes ;o)
good luck to all the future MILs!
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
i don't know what u're talkign about? all my morthers-in-law used to love me :oP
If you're looking for a problem, you're probably gonna find one.
Even though I joked about her, my MIL is very sweet to me and to my kids. Because we don't speak the same language, we have to get by on smiles and hugs. And we've done some serious bonding while cooking together, lol!
The universal language: food!
As for Hubby's MIL...she's the best!!!!! :-)
surely, not all MIL's are that bad,.. one i had before was nice, though i wouldn't call her MIL technically, coz i was never married.... :)
you block me so I could not answer back to you PM. You call it respect? If you don't want to be PM, practice it also, don't send PM.
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
not from me. I don't know what wrong with you, but you have a problem. I tried to be friendly but it seems that you are a hard one to content with.
I will use you other line, mine is not funny and the other is, why?, because they are your friend?
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
i think they are looking for the attention that their son has given them when he is still single.
addressed to me.
Wisecracks are made to be funny...but coming from you, I don't think so.
I make fun of myself and my situation, I can share jokes and banters ONLINE with folks here as I do with Magic Dragon. But with you? better tread carefully...
If you find other posts offensive, no skin off my nose. And if you still don't get what I'm trying to say...PITY!
i guess it's just an unnecessary sense of insecurity.....that their son is having another important woman in his life....whether his love for his mother will go down to some extent,etc.
Keep smiling!
Saggi!
I am always amazed at how "daughter in laws" complain about mother in laws and then forget their experience , once they themselves become "moths in law"
On the whole, got to agree with what FS says..
it's common in our culture, as I've said only between the two women. In general, there is no big deal between a man ang his mother-in-law because man in our culture is tolerable toward their in-laws. It's really the women fighting for attention of their so/husband. So, for me. no big deal between man and in-laws.
BTW Azi, some gave also wisecracks but why single me out. Mine is not funny? I find the other's offensive rather than funny? And you started the wisecracks, remember mentioning two MOL emphasizing the O as Out? Good morning to you, too!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
My mother is a wondeful mother-in-law and my two sisters-in-law consider themselves lucky to have her as a mother-in-law. My mom has always firmly believed that one should treat a daughter-in-law like a daughter and she has stood by that belief even after my brothers got married and their wives came to live with us. We are a big joint family. My parents, my two younger brothers, their wives and their kids (one each) and of course myself.. Touchwood .. MashAllah so far we have not had any problems.. We are one big happy family just like how they show in hindi movies or tv serials like baa bahu aur baby.. So please don't give a bad name to mother-in-laws bcoz all aren't the same.. All five fingers are never the same.
Treat your Mother in law like your own mother..she will treat you like her Daughter/son. If Our mother is rude with us..we will forget it soon...But if our mother in law is rude/mean with us...we make a big deal.
Be thankful to your MIL for giving you a good Husband/wife.
I love my in laws...they love me too!
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting.
She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
Mandilur
A fellow American :) you are most welcome to join in a little R&R.
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
one thing good about being far and away from home is that .. she is not here in Qatar!! who else the mother of my hubby lol
Ahlan wa sahlan, ya Princess Habibah! I am arriving in Doha on Wednesday and the FIRST thing I will do is a Moroccan hammam as well. Nothing else works so well on jet lag.
Mandi
Weekdays im not free, anyway ill pm you..good night...
Why don't you come with? Give the kids to hubby and have a day to yourself. pm me and I'll get back to you tommorrow.. falling asleep now :)
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
excellent, good to hear ...
yes alhumduliliah. Now we are looking for a car for the hubby. And I am looking forward to a morroccan hammam experience at sharq.
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
aah finally welcome to Doha..We are all fine thanks. Hope your settling in nice. Speaking of mother inlaws did you mange to secure an appartment for her?
Yes nadt I just arrived and am officially in doha now.
How are you habeebtee? InshAllah everything is okay with you and the kids?
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
PH, are you in Doha yet?
I don't think mother in laws realize their actions as much as they focus on percieved actions of the daughter in laws. I mean sometimes their mentality puts barriers in the way of rational insight into daughter in law-husband situation and, frankly, they get the wrong impression and come up with bad solutions.
1.) generation gaps -- no a pair of trousers does not cost 10 QR anymore and yes women enjoy working.
2.) different set of social rules-- no we are no longer in the deep south where the husbands bad behavior is overlooked in order to keep peace in the home. Women these days now have the right to speak their mind and need to protect themselves.
3.) Don't know their own child--- no he is not that perfect angel still in nappies. Yes he is still obsessed with any pair of tits he can find.
4.) Jealousy --- don't worry no matter how hard we try a boy will never stop loving his own mother the most. Hell he married us so we could be just as perfect as her.
5.) Control --
Maryum : Umm Hasan bint Abdullah Alshabrawishi
and have a family of her own, she knows I'm gonna be there to support her and her husband (to be) along the way.
I did have MOLs for quite a while so i know what it's like. And knowing my daughter's stubborn streak came from me, my future SIL will need all the help/advises he can get...lol
As for my son (who's just 10 y/o), I don't know if i'm still alive to see him wed...
but I have heard of some horror stories from friends..
One friend's MIL hated her so much that she would not just ignore her at Christmas time...but give her son something really expensive, like a matching set of designer suitcses and a ticket to travel overseas, and her daughter in law got a box of chocolate covered cherries.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
You mean the present whan has trouble with you?
...but possibly my future wife may get a boast from my mother. :-P
"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach
lol notfromhere, we are the chosen lucky one :-)
Me too, nadt. Different country, different language.
The communication barrier works wonders, lol!
true shedbabe, but after a while tolerance does wear off a bit..Although i have no complaints about my mother in law, like i said i live in a different country :-)
Mother in laws are not so horrid, if you live in a different country ;-)
what you can't help :)
Something happens to mothers when they become in-law. Some undefinable streak of evil that urges them to torment and possibly destroy.
azilana7037 said "I would be a good MOL when the right time"
You are already giving yourself loopholes. "When the RIGHT time comes". So who will decide the right time? your son and his chosen or you?
I think she is MIL. and I am single.
...and are suffering from the MIL Syndrome :)
edifis said "Its So confusing!"
daughter in law or mother in law?
Supernurse said "How can such a ridiculous statement deserve a learned and logical debate?"
Simply because they are the villain of the house.. (not all)
**Run,Jump make Noise but do not SIN."
My Mother-in-Law = GOLDMINE :)
Ban Spoon Feeding not Me
No need to explain, azzi.
7 years later...it was STUPIDITY.
looking back now, still got no regrets coz my kids are wonderfully behaved and I love them to bits...
and I know I would be a good MOL when the right time comes...
So, no more wisecrack from you...it's not funny.
MIL's life insurance in your name ??? You must be dreaming.
But one thing is sure, you will get back something from the car insurance.
But it will be 100% salvage if u add the Life insurance of the M.I.L
I have my doubts that the insurance company will give you a 100 % replacement, edifis.
But If the car was insured it wouldn't be "mixed emotion" any more.
thats too complicated.
"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
- Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
really: mixed emotions it wud be.
What about this one, edifis:
Definition of 'mixed emotions' - seeing your mother-in-law drive over the cliff in your new car.
What a find MD! Woman Hitler
Especially if the son is eldest. Any violent reaction DMS?:-) I can't imagine why in Filipino culture we can't avoid this horrible scenario.
Or this one: It is interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "mother-in-law" you get the words "woman hitler".
Cheer up, edifis.
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My Mother-In-Law is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
My mother in law is brilliant.......
we never fight or argue and we´ve never had a cross word.
It probably helps that she does´nt speak English....
just eat another pie
Its So confusing! I fail to comprehend. Simplification needed.
How can such a ridiculous statement deserve a learned and logical debate?
azzi, what happened to you? Where you blindfolded? Twice the same mistake?
3rd MOL?, Azi?
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
one loves me more than her son's 2nd wife (stupid girl ACTUALLY MARRIED HIM)...and still wishes I stayed with her son (who's still under her skirts).
2nd mother in law doesn't even know I (and her only grandson) exist. Her dodo of a son wasn't man enough to admit it to her.
I consider them mother(s) OUT(side) of LAW since I was never married to their sons...and GOOD THING TOO. Or else, I'll be tied to the house with children and to husband who got no balls.
Mother in law is like beer: better cold with white froth at mouth,laying on table
hehehehehehehehe!!!!!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
When they become mother in laws?
My mom- in- law is super duper:)
I dream of a better tomorrow where Chickens can cross the Road without having their motives questioned - Unknown
only if "he" will realize I'm not gonna replace his mother's role of babying him...duuhhh
lol
that is why it's better to have a separate home after marriage. And the man has to stand by his wife because they are now made as one. The mother has to step back a little and must understand that the cute boy she once have is already having his own life.
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
Husbands/sons are bad. They fail to set the priorities. Husband - wife, that's number 1. Everything else, including mother and family, are number 2. Once you clarified this, you won't have a problem.
azilana7037 - do you have good DVDs to borrow :)
Ban Spoon Feeding not Me
in getting the attention of their son/husband which they dearly love so much!
"dgoodrebel will always be the rebellious good one"
starred by JLO and Jane Fonda....you'll get a tip or two from that movie