You know you are too long in the middle east

Mercia
By Mercia

You know you've been in the Middle East too long when...

You're not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You think the uncut version of "Little House on the Prairie" is provocative
You think every one's first name is Al
You need a sweater when it's 80 degrees Fahrenheit
You expect everyone to own a mobile phone
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You believe that speed limits are only advisory
You expect all police to drive BMWs or Merc's
You know whether you are within missile range of Iraq
You believe that the definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
You understand that 'wadi bashing' isn't a criminal act
You make left turns from the far right lane
You send friends a map instead of your address
You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi at 100kph
You think that "Howareyou" is one word. So is "Mamsir"
You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm
You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
You have a moon phase predictor on your computer
You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore
You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
You realise that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss and hold hands while walking no longer distracts you
You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles
You start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No f**king chance!"
Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia
You overtake a police car at 130KM/HRA
Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

By ernie• 18 Oct 2008 10:41
Rating: 4/5
ernie

Mercia u forgot one important point: You know that you have been in middle east too long when you see you can pay all your car and house bills on time back home...and you can drive landcruiser while back home you couldnt.

why only talking about bad side and not the good side of middle east? how about this? =}you know you have been in middle east too long when you open your wallet and find 500,100,50 and 10 rials without knowing the grand total. you dont care to count extra money because of your good job when back home you were counting each cent in ur wallet.

I found the true life in Qatar!

By heero_yuy2• 17 Oct 2008 20:19
heero_yuy2

You still ain't that long in the Middle East!

"Everything in this book may be wrong." Illusions: The Adventures of The Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

By found_soul• 17 Oct 2008 19:58
found_soul

when you're used with the bad smell of the people and seeing them wear the same clothes in 3 consecutive days...

By Renee• 17 Oct 2008 18:57
Renee

Correct.....go travel the region before you make such assumptions about the ME...for instance in Syria etc. most can't afford land cruises and are considered soooo American :p

By MapleLeafs• 17 Oct 2008 18:52
MapleLeafs

guys, Gulf Countries are not the whole Middle East. I think the title should be You know you've been in the Gulf too long when...

By Amoud• 16 Oct 2008 05:53
Amoud

You know you have been in the Middle East too long when you dont bat an eyelash when you see the driver of the landcruiser next to you talking on the phone..smoking...with his foot up on the dash and his kid hanging out of the sunroof.

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock - Will Rogers"

By askme• 16 Oct 2008 03:26
askme

when you know your living cost(housing) is more expensive than your salary...

By corleone• 15 Oct 2008 16:33
corleone

hehe.. or maybe i've been away too long :D

By anonymous• 15 Oct 2008 16:31
anonymous

corleone - may be you not driving Qatar :)

Ban Spoon Feeding not Me

By corleone• 15 Oct 2008 16:29
corleone

the nanosecond thing is obsolete now i guess.. dont think anyone blows their horn at a traffic light anymore.

By ernie• 15 Oct 2008 16:25
ernie

I will miss all these :-(

I found the true life in Qatar!

By nadt• 15 Oct 2008 15:55
nadt

these are funny and true...I finally got used to this.

" You never say Saturday instead of Friday or Sunday instead of Saturday anymore".

By nataraki05• 15 Oct 2008 15:38
nataraki05

You know you've been too long in the MI if you are not surprised to see people chatting while drinking tea in the middle of the day at 55 degrees..

By brutus_ceasar• 15 Oct 2008 14:43
brutus_ceasar

You are right scarlet...hehehe... but not when a lady come in the Queues then it will be ladies first eh.

Cheers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

By brutus_ceasar• 15 Oct 2008 14:40
brutus_ceasar

HHmmm... got 5 pix and all the old copy of my Pataka and passport.. hehehehe..... nice one dude

Cheers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

By Scarlett• 15 Oct 2008 14:39
Scarlett

with someone shoving in front of you from both sides.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By brutus_ceasar• 15 Oct 2008 14:37
brutus_ceasar

Love this one.. hehehehehe...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

By Scarlett• 15 Oct 2008 14:36
Scarlett

I just found that out...now I have 10 of them in my purse, plus copies of my passport and every other laminated card I have been issued over here.

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By anonymous• 15 Oct 2008 14:33
anonymous

when you've received the "been in the Middle East too long" email so many times that you've memorized it :-(

By britexpat• 15 Oct 2008 14:30
britexpat

How right you are..

In Saudi I had multiple copies of my Iqama, my family's passports, medical cards etc etc always at hand..:)

By jasminejasmine• 15 Oct 2008 14:25
jasminejasmine

tallg, thanks for setting me straight, all kinds of things were going through my mind!

By cdsamp08• 15 Oct 2008 14:19
cdsamp08

lmao.....

By tallg• 15 Oct 2008 14:07
tallg

Qatar doesn't really have any Wadis. They are river/stream beds that are dry for most of the year.

Best to substitute dune bashing for wadi bashing.

By jasminejasmine• 15 Oct 2008 13:54
jasminejasmine

Abolutely brilliant! Just one thing...what is Wadi bashing? Clearly I have not been here long enough. Thank you for making me laugh, jj

By Scarlett• 15 Oct 2008 13:52
Scarlett

when I first came here I was wondering how many allergies people must have to have at least 2-3 kleenex boxes in each room...NOW I know..its the dust!

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By Mandilulur• 15 Oct 2008 13:50
Mandilulur

You know you are too long in the Middle East ... when you put a box of Kleenex on the dining room table.

Mandi

By Scarlett• 15 Oct 2008 13:45
Scarlett

but true!!

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked,the good fortune to run into the ones I do,and the eyesight to tell the difference.

By britexpat• 15 Oct 2008 13:42
britexpat

I flew back to London, rented a car and was surprised to see a lady driving..

By brutus_ceasar• 15 Oct 2008 13:32
Rating: 3/5
brutus_ceasar

Now I'm sure that I have stay in the middle east way toooo loonngg... Insha'alah Bukra dude.

Cheers All

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

By britexpat• 15 Oct 2008 13:24
britexpat

Weere you the one that got done for indecency with a potato peeler ?

By QaQc• 15 Oct 2008 13:23
QaQc

+ 10000000000000000000000

this happens all the time...

"You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something"

----------

Quality dude! Quality!

By davidpearlshaun• 15 Oct 2008 13:20
Rating: 3/5
davidpearlshaun

LOL

Here's another-

Whilst talking on your mobile you hold it 6 inches from your mouth and yell

Whilst listening on your mobile you hold it 6 inches from your ear and plug your other ear.

By baldrick2dogs• 15 Oct 2008 12:51
Rating: 2/5
baldrick2dogs

Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles

Really cracked me up!

Did you Google it first?

By Bahraini83• 15 Oct 2008 12:41
Rating: 5/5
Bahraini83

LMAO at these

Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', 'coffee maker' and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but are actually job titles

You start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No f**king chance!"

Habibi isn't just the ex-president of Indonesia

You overtake a police car at 130KM/HRA

Problem with your car AC or horn is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes

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