are men born polygamous?
By chinx_lady •
are men born polygamous or maybe they are afraid with commitment?what is the reason why some man cheats his woman even she is doing her best and offer everything to him?
are men born polygamous or maybe they are afraid with commitment?what is the reason why some man cheats his woman even she is doing her best and offer everything to him?
life will immediately become exciting. You'll feel younger and more desirable. It will be fun.
yes, life will be more exciting all right. How are your nerves? Can you stand the extra stress of sneaking around, fearing to be seen? If you want excitement, why not just rob a bank?
So, you're contemplating an affair. You're bored with your marriage.in your case dashing your being better you divorce than cheat.go for it..smile!
Better to be on a rollercoaster than wasting your time (and money) playing slot machines
why can't be faithful and only have one wife...too many flavors to taste?multiple women cause multiple problems.being happy with someone else is temporary if you leave your wife now and you get marry with another woman and later on you find another someone better again.its like a roller coaster...
I broke the rules in my marriage by having an affair with another girl. My marrriage wasn't good but it wasn't until I met someone else that I could see what was wrong and how much happier I could be alone or with someone else.
Marriage is an institution that is designed for social reasons, including stability, and it doesn't care if you are happy or unhappy; it takes on a life of its own and in at least 50% of cases it makes people more or less miserable. There is no reason why we should believe this institution is special or sacred. Marriage should be made more difficult and divorce made more easy.
just a small point;
Men will never desert his first wife unless he has an open option ready for him, I mean an alternative support.
Men will never go out 'naturally' if his natural desires/requirements get attended at home.
Peace
The honorable thing to do if you're in a marriage that isn't working is to leave it/tell your partner it is over BEFORE you start up with someone else. I know divorces take forever in the west, and I don't mean you can't date/do anything until it's all finalized, but it IS rather bad behavior to be actively courting someone else when you're still living with your spouse, not having told them that you're no longer interested in continuing the relationship.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
I don't like the term "cheating". If the marriage can't work and the married couple are not cooperating then no-one is cheating anyone but themselves by remaining married. Then it's a case of the institution doing damage to the individual and/or the couple/family.
maybe we will conduct a survey about this issue or interview the cheater husbands...
A husband or a wife are not possessions. What you have is a relationship between two human beings. Sometimes these two human beings are happy living together for a very long time. If it's like this then it could be called a successful marriage. But it's not always like this; and there is no reason why, if it's not a happy relationship, that these two people should be forced by some social/political institution to remain trapped in an unhappy, soul-destroying relationship. That is just cruelty, and it is not a good home in which to raise kids.
The institution of marriage doesn't fit for all types of people and/or in all circumstances. I think marrying should be made more difficult and divorce made more easy.
I don't understand anything about the sexes but my husband did tell me that all men are shallow. Which makes me think that men don't love as deeply as women and we shouldn't ever take his love for granted because for any reason it could be gone in a second.
It is even normal for a man to leave a woman when she has cancer or problems in her life, and I a have seen this first hand. maybe my husband is right. so my only advise is to do everything possible to keep your husband interested in you, and if you fail expect the worst.
I'm not fond of using extreme words like ALWAYS and NEVER...think it's kind of hard to make one's point because it's never all or nothing. I don't doubt that some women do drive men to cheat, just as I don't doubt that some men drive women to do the same.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
based on my experience...
woman alsways has the tendency to provoke man to cheat and go with an illicit affair...
despite of the faithfulness; only concentrating on his work abroad- woman thinks her man still cheats and womanizing...
so- guess with this - man is just human who also knows how to get tired of wrong accusations.... he has no choice then but to give it a try...
what you think...
Let's look at it from another angle. There is ample evidence that when divorce is made too difficult there is tremendous misery and a far greater likelihood of domestic violence. Going back to the old days is not an option.
really dash?well cheers to that and double thumbs up..im counting on you...yup why stay unhappy when there is a chance to be happy.we only live once so make the most that suits you.
We are not born to be married. Marriage is an institution created by men long ago for social reasons. Nowadays it doesn't mean what it meant 100 years ago. People todat are more equal, educated and more free to get out of a bad marriage...and that's a good thing.
It is not good to stay in a relationship if it is making you unhappy and is causing harm to you, your partner, or your children.
The fact that men and women sometimes have an extra-marital affair is not a sin. It can be an issue that breaks a marriage or maybe not;it's up to the married couple to decide what they do about it.
Me,personally, I am going through a divorce right now. I would say I was happily married for maybe five years. But the last five years have been very difficult. There is nothing good about staying in a bad marriage.
yes to that but some men dont leave their wives or divorce them they prefer to collect more wives.how bad.
Marriage is not the be all and end all of everything...it is not the most precious thing in life for most of us. Marriage is an institution that is increasingly being undermined in the modern world because it is not adapted for our modern world, in my opinion. Today 50% of marriages in some countries are ending in divorce. Of the 50% that don't end in divorce I bet at least 50% of them are not working. It is up to us as to do what we can to lead a healthy and fulfilling life. Nowadays that frequently involves leaving our partner and moving on. There is nothing wrong with that, in essence.
what would be your answer to that dash?
Question could be: Are we born to be married? Are we meant to be stay married even if it makes us unhappy and unfulfilled?
- Joins a health gym or weight reduction clinic.
- Tanning salon visits.
- New hairstyle.
- Wears hair spray, colognes & perfumes more often.
- Excessive buying of new and different clothes.
- Gets laundry done independently.
- Buys sexy underwear or lingerie.
- More frequent bathing and more careful grooming.
- An unexplained indifference or aloofness in the relationship.
- Spontaneous plans or events that do not include you.
- Cheater is often distracted and daydreaming.
- Asks about your schedule more often than usual.
- Viagra usage increases.
Discovery of a post office box.
The toilet bowl seat is up, (men) and when you left home it was down.
The passenger seat in the car has been
moved and is not in the usual position.
Unaccounted for hairs of a different color on clothing.
Cigarette smoke on clothing that can’t be explained.
Clothes smell of perfume, massage oil residue and/or sex or have make-up stains and/or lipstick smudges.
Needs a pager, cellular phone. Turns off phone when he's with you. Goes outside or to another room when making calls.
Secretion stains on underwear.
Check wallets and/or the car glove compartments to see if they left receipts, match books, condoms, pieces of paper with phone numbers, notes, addresses and etc...
As a man, I could not keep myself away to cast my own thoughts into this thread.You have to remember that men are programmed in a certain way, and so they are so programmed for a reason. Therefore, men on the instinctual level not necessarily be programmed to be polygamous.Some men are polygamous in certain times of their lives. Some are at all times. Some men like to be fooling around with multiple partners (at different times of course). Generally speaking, many of us happen to be very happy in our committed relationships and we dont look for anyone.Many of us humans have an instinct towards staying with one partner for a period of time, be it for a few weeks, to a few months, or for the majority of our existence. Desires vs. actual practice are worlds apart!
As far as cheating is concerned, not only men, but women do cheating as well.
Here are the ten reasons that I figured it out why men cheat.
1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.
2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There is nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.
3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you did not have as much in common as you thought.
4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner.
5. They have fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.
6. Your sex life sucks. If a man has a disinterested partner or is not getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.
7. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him.
8. Trying new things.... new sex in life...
9. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it.
10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them. Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest.
But there are exceptions!
these are Quranic verses....
Allah further declares: “Bad women are for bad men and bad men are for bad women. Good women are for good men and good men are for good women....
Indeed, thats what we see today.....
He knows the BEST
usually , cheaters are attracted to cheaters :)
Several animal species have sex for fun MD. Dolphins & Chimps for example.
Animals don't have sex, (sex = fun), olive. They maintain the survival of the species, that's their main concern. If animals would obstain from promiscuity they'd probably endanger the species and would be looked at as losers.
i agree!
Interesting article ummjake, but does bring up the point I made that naturally (as a family state) we are inclined towards monogamy (as most men can't support multiple wives).
Basically all the article is saying is that just because we mate with one person and choose to raise a family with them doesn't mean we turn off our sex drive. However we do have the intelligence to know that sleeping with someone other than our partner can have bad side effects. Which animals may not realize as they don't have our intelligence.
Cheating:-"
There should be a reason,,
Have same story wid my family b4:(
huhuhuhuh! don't wanna remember it, i almost get caught by AL FAZAA,,, coz,, instead of going home, I parked my car in Corniche n fall asleep until 2am :(
We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.
http://www.trinity.edu/rnadeau/fys/barash%20on%20monogamy.htm
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
Jervis...you got some valid points there..
Depends on which girl you bring MD. But I would argue that's also where women are pushing men to cheat. In the past a woman would give sex in return for shelter, food, protection, etc. Today women give it for no reason at all, as we can now provide ourselves and our children with these things and don't need men to do it.
Olive, you mean when I provide food, let's say with a nice dinner at the Al Shaheen, I will get sex in return?
Its been posted Polygamy with a 'how to" infomercial :)
http://www.qatarliving.com/node/721992
"I disagree with everything you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Voltaire
On loan from Dracula as I do not plagerize
Man and women are both in nature polygamous and the urge to have sex with a desirable partners is mutual it is the control that we show on choosing our partners or restricting our selves to one that distinguish us from animals as we restrict our selves because we make commitment and dont want to loose what we have.
In general when women accept the fact that their men can go around and have fun without consequences they will.
Yes men are by nature hunters, but they are also by nature providers. Hunting was a means of feeding ones family. In exchange for feeding the family he got sex and children. That is the natural state.
Today men are taught that there is more to life then simply providing for a family and are taught to be more selfish. They're taught (since hunting is all but obsolete) that sex is the new deer and they have to get as much of it as they can. They aren't a good "hunter" or they're weak if they aren't scoring.
I think this is wrong and unnatural. Sex is not deer and we need to find something else for men to hunt besides women.
poly = many, game = what you hunt in the forest. Polygam = hunting in the forest of life.
Women LOVE to be chased and hunted.....
Mutual interest, consent and understanding......
No Problemmmm....
I think men cheat more because, culturally, they are told that it's acceptable and in some cultures even encouraged. They aren't subjected to the same rigorous brainwashing about virginity, raising children, etc that women are and therefore have a more easy going view of sex and give into their naturally opportunistic instincts which both genders possess. Evolution wise we've evolved to be monogamous, there was a thread that Plato posted about how are ancestors practiced monogamy in even their earliest forms. Men aren't capable of caring for more then one family at a time, neither are women, it takes a combined effort to support a family. No matter how wealthy they are, there will be an essential factor to raising a family missing somewhere if they spread themselves between multiple families, be it love, support, education, etc.
Frankly I think the idea of polygamy is a rather new (couple of thousand years old) and is entirely a human invention that's been enforced or supported through culture and religion and has nothing to do with our natural instincts.
Men are not born polygamous. Men are born to hunt. That's the problem. (Problem ?)
I think, it's both men & women however it's more than in a men...you're right chinx, girls do that to their hubby as sweet revenge and sometimes to be happy as well...
" Tomorrow is not just another day, it's another chance..."
Just telling what I know..
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
but its so unfair that most of men spend nights away from their wives and spend with another women...
hhhmmm...so safe answer you have bro...
hhmmm..well i dont mind them doing those silly things also.i cant blame them if they became like their hubbies..that's what they call sweet revenge.kidding aside guys,hhmm that's why im askin coz you knew from experience.i mean more reliable than gays and lesbians.wink*
It depends. Sometimes we act monogamous sometimes polygamous, just like women..
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
chinx_lady "its not very bad to have five women, but on the other hand its very bad..."
In my dreams ;)
If those "victims" are sleeping around to gain revenge then they are hardly better than the cheating husband..
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
your wrong sandee my friends are the victims here and i empathize their fate...they are not a bad example to me..really. i learn from their experience, trust me.
" its not very bad to have five women, but on the other hand its very bad..." LOL!
Well if this is the kind of wisdom they are imparting to you then you are better off alone and i am better off not knowing them personally. Again just my opinion, it may or not be correct.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
why sandee?can you tell me who my friends are?whats wrong with them?lol...
chinx you should change the kind of people you hang out with, just my opinion.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
her husband for the reason of revenge or to get even with him.these are the common reasons and excuses i commonly heard.
Blimey... ummjake you have got to come and have a chat with my GF. I will buy the coffee :)
BritEx it's on my list of things to... err shall we say acquire.
I think you'd like it...... :O)
I also don't know as many lesbians as I do gays, but the ones I do know tend to be in committed relationships, for what it's worth (purely anecdotal evidence, I know).
It's not that I don't think women can't also be players -- we surely can. But by and large, we're not very adept at separating emotions from sex. Men are pros at that. Therein lies another basic difference between the sexes. Men can have sex with another woman and still feel completely in love with their GF/wife (the other chick was just for sex, nothing more).
When women have sex outside their primary relationship, it usually indicates that the primary relationship wasn't working really well AND we usually develop an emotional attachment to the new guy (we're not randomly hooking up with different men).
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
No BritEx... missed that one. Should I download it.... err I mean go and buy/rent it?
Very true...
By the way, did you ever see the film "Sirens" with Elle "the body" Macpherson ??
I'm not saying I'm going to cheat (my GF may be reading this) but damn it can get very tempting. Females are just so gorgeous, irresistible even. It's so hard to turn you gals down. Errr... what's the term sirens? You lure us onto the rocks, and us good sailors have to sail away to safety.
Do I post this or not? Yeah post.
I think what you need to do just keep all men at home then you will see the different.(the result no more cheating).hahahahahah.
and i have quastion to you guys,,.,.,which is coming firt eggs or chicken??????????and can we clap in one hand without the other???..meansssssssssssssss
eggs need chicken and chicken need eggs bla.. bla..
left hand without right hand can,t clap or right without left,...thats cheat all about...who is the guilty
he or she ......or she or he,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and..... and and....
men like a small child he looking for love and care .. OK you give love and care .. did you take care of your self ( lady ) you have to take care of your self like makeup for hem say some nice words for hem .. and be so sexy with hem not only marry after you not care of your self !
BritEx now you have got me worried... my libido is going to taper off!? :-0
your fingers not same as lady's not same .. you can find good you can find bad .. so we cannot say all men bad .. and same no all good ..
No discussion here.. We are born polygamous, but become monogomous when the libido tapers off.
Brilliant Jervis,
"Again, in a lot of cases you have a consenting partner on the receiving end."
you are the legend mate :)
Men dont shed tears but women do, thats how the blame comes on the former.
But like I said, I think we're wired differently...so our natural impulses aren't always in line with one another.
How many monogamous gay men do you know? There definitely are a lot of them out there, but I would offer that a majority of gay men lead lives that include numerous sexual partners. To me, this is just further evidence that most men (of any sexual orientation), given the chance to have as much sex with as many different people as they can, would jump at it.
Sure, they might risk ruining the relationship they're in...but whatever their reason (poor impulse control, bored by monogamy, etc.) a lot of guys go for it.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
Try again
ummjake you are most wise. This I think is biological. And no that's not an excuse.
(Trying to work here at the same time as post)
ummjake you are most wise. This I think this is biological. And no that's not an excuse.
lol... i will classify this as a delicate subject. but i must notify, a few women do enjoy the same. some get married more than once, others cheat. :)
We can say that, but unfortunately we don't live in a vacuum.
Relationships are unfair from the get go. Men peak sexually quite early; women much later. However women are restricted by their biological clock -- tick, tick, ticking away. Men can father children well into their golden years -- so they can afford to horse around and not settle down for awhile.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
then the men are hypocritical,,,and that is a complete and absolute refute to the argument.
What applies to one sex must apply to the other.
Period
if it was wives who were allowed to take additional spouses. So I find it funny that so many of them insist that women should swallow that bitter pill without much consideration for how it must make them feel.
I think men and women who cheat do so for very different reasons
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
ummjake I think you hit the nail on the head.
nadda,,,,perhaps we are generalizing too much, but I have never seen the difference...I have seen 1 gal for each guy parking in each car outside the dancehall...and about the same ratio inside,,,
now the costs of having sex are different, but getting into that situation isn't any different,,,I think anyway,,,But i stand to be corrected.
I suppose you don't eat vegetable everyday do you. Today we eat chicken, tomorrow beef, day after next mutton. In short we need to change menu.
When one man marries three women, two other men don't marry. When one man marries four women, three other men don't marry.
I know plenty of men who don't cheat. Besides, I still believe most men realize they cannot really handle multiple relationships at the same time. You seem to be looking for an excuse or explanation for why some men are dogs -- and that is unrelated to polygyny.
I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
I think men are more polygamous by nature than women are. Biologically and evolutionarily, it makes more sense for men to mate with as many women as they can, to spread their seed around and increase the chances of their genes surviving.
Women, on the other hand, as the ones who carry babies inside them for 9 months and then have to take care of and raise their helpless infants, thus we are more inclined to find a mate that sticks around to take care of his children, by providing for us while pregnant and while the baby is young. Less incentive for us to creep around and find another guy, as most men aren't too keen on caring for another man's children.
We're both hard-wired differently.
That's not to say that there aren't monogamous men and polygamous females, just that nature skews us more the other directions, I think.
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?" -- Groucho Marx
ok if you dont like most then i will change it in to some..lol.
that people engage is sex primarily because it feels extremely good...we explain it in social and religious terms afterwards, but we all know we streach the truth.
The nervous system in the human body teamed up with the baby-making side and the result is the biggest population explosion in the planet's history.
People have sex for the pleasure and excitement,,,babies arrive afterwards,,,and thats a good thing.
Most men spend nights away from their wives with another woman????? I really have to disagree with that.... It is an exception and not general trend...
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
i am refering to my friends who experienced such from their cheating husbands..
lol who told you that chinx..
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
lol
I really get a kick out of how people try to justify their choices in life and not take responsibility for the pain they cause the people they supposedly love. :-/
I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
some women are also cheaters ...
polygamous than women are. Each person searches according to their personal needs, and thanks be for that.
Each sex has the same desires and feelings, whether sexual, ambitious, sad, forlorn, bright, cheerful, responsibility, sadness,,,,we ar eall human, aren't we?
Triple post...
Triple post...
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
yes ma'm we are born polygamous.
yes ma'm we are born polygamous.
yes ma'm we are born polygamous.
DP
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein
yes ma'm we are born polygamous.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein