Are you a snoop???
Be honest! Do you check your significant others phone messages when s/he's in the shower? Pay her/him surprise visits at the office when s/he claims to be working at 10 pm? Hmmm I dunno, Iv always said its an insecure person who does things like that but now Im not so sure. Perhaps it's healthy to be a snoop. If there's nothing to hide there's nothing to find so erm, no big deal...RIGHT? What's your say??
dude!!!!
snoop dogg will not like this!!!
when both partners understand each other well, then where is the secret????????and for what????????
I expect personal privacy and therefore give it to others.
I didn't drink the kool-aid! -- PM
Aaaak jervis & Lion_King, I don't want virtual drinks. Booooooo!
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Labda, you can chill out a bit now :)
Xena, right, that makes a lot of sense, else I'd be doing nothing but checking his mail etc. :)
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instinctive.... in the past, if I have suspected something isn't right, i have been known to check emails and mobiles - I have been right everytime - then I end it.... I think it goes on what you suspect... if that person is being open and honest with you and you don't have a 'feeling' then there isn't a need...
I won't just check for the sake of it.... its a pain tryin to find the right time;-P So its just easier not to bother unless you are worried about something.
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om Maui I agree with you :)
master_mas, LOL girls?
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dudes. plz.
if ur game is tight u don't have to be worried.
my girls 'ehm' i mean girl, will never think of cheating on me.
thanks, that's what i meant by not being blind when red flags go up. but IMHO, open communication is a better way to handle your doubts.
just my opinion :)
om Maui, I hear you but you feel the heartache at the time and then move forward with your life depending on your decision. You're better for it, or you should be anyway. I dont understand women who know there is something fishy but chose not look that way because it will hurt them. :(
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i beg to differ, with all due respect, labda. snooping does not spare you a heartache. you are actually looking for one.
i will go back to my first post on this thread. if there is no trust, there is no relationship. the key i guess is to strike a balance, trust your partner, but don't be blind when red flags go up.
jervis, sure!!
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LOL jervis I'll petition Qatari!! Bat my virtual eyelashes at him :))
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om Im glad things worked out in the end for you. And thanks for sharing. I'm all for snooping, my resolve has only strengthened. I mean, jokes aside, some people find it all to easy to play with people's emotions and ultimately their lives. If snooping can help spare heartache, Im all for it.
jervis, green tea? ROFLMAO!! Psycho!!! haha...Apple Cider's yum!
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jervis, thanks. it wasn't easy, but it ended amicably anyway. hard lesson learned, i must say.
so labda, i just shared this bit of a story as an answer to your question. hope that counts for something :)
that "thing" was over before he met me, he said. but it left a crack on an otherwise healthy relationship. trust broken. damage done.
Labda,If they don't give the passwords.... they may have some kind of secrets which they are reluctant to share... Personally I have nothing to hide... :)
if they wont give you access its for a reason, usually there is something they dont want you to see!
jervis, you were asking what a suspicious name looks like. how about "My Princess"?
suspicious enough?
but like i said, it caused me a lot of pain having had snooped. one part of me says i should trust my gut, another part says i have trust issues. whatever.
LOL jervis which is why I almost never touch tequila and NEVER touch whiskey. The only thing I'd be pondering over after drinking one of the two is why sheep with pink headscarves were flying in front of me. No good. :)
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hahaha Brit. :@) No, look at nightwalker, she's not paranoid, she's at ease. Free access to emails etc will result in peace of mind. Restricted/no access will result in paranoia.
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It's called nosiness :O) Great way of getting paranoid.
Lion_king, the kind of access that nightwalker and her husband have to each others email/phones is what Im in agreement with. What bothers me, is when your hubby/wife wont give you the password etc. Why the secrecy?
jervis, LOL, methinks something a bit stronger than beer is needed. Say tequila perhaps? I mean that is a tough one... :P
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Labda, it's the trust factor between two individuals... as long as both know each other what they are doing or to what extent they can go keeping the limits... why you need snooping?
both my husband and I have open access to email/phones/facebook and everything else. I don't have anything to hide and neither does he, no big deal.
He gets funny joke texts i like to read, and we have mutual friends and sometimes has me reply to texts for him. Plus if I see his boss called him a million times that day I know he will probably be tired.
we are married, what is there to hide?
MagicDragon - Intelligence, so that we can make better more informed decisions.
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Snooping? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!
'Killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder'. (Albert Einstein)
Olive, haha I have a friend who's wife sometimes uses his FB account, its always funny when posts "girlie" things and I know then that its not him but wifey. But the first time I saw "Which actress do you most resemble?" I ROFL'ed. And like you she informs him when his pals have written. :)
britexpat, LOL.
UkEng, thats what Im talking about!! haha
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always.. there is nothing to hide or is it?
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"HE WHO DARES WINS"
Derek Edward Trotter
my significant others whilst she's in the shower, I don't worry about her messages/texts/phone/email. :O)
The most I can think I do is check his facebook wall...but that's only cause he never does and never responds to his friends so I have to tell him who's written and that he needs to get back to them....I'm more a secretary than a snoop. :P
sandeep, oh. Well Im glad in the end you did leave.
FriedUnicorn, nope. Why you worried for the poor bloke already? LOL :P
jervis, hahaha. And thanks for correcting me, Iv been saying grammer when I really meant spelling for quite a few weeks!
Azzy, CLEARLY looks can be deceiving, he looked as harmful as a pussy cat.
honeybunch, yes "a bit of privacy" You can still snoop a bit, no?
tess, so a name you wouldnt recognize right? Like bootyliciousssssxoxox LOL
phoenix2009, LOL for your sake I hope God's heard your prayers ;)
Lion king, but how are you to know something needs clarification unless you stumble upon something suspect while, uhm snooping?
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Well, I don't do spywork... if something needs to be clarified, I ask straightaway....No backdoor approach for me...
ok i give and receive trust, never thought about it, it doesn't exist in my relationship dictionary.
"please God don't prove me wrong" :)
Yalla!
live others too. I hate any one snooping...A bit of privacy is everyone's right...
I was furious the last time I caught him...
Now I know better...or do I? ;-P
Source:
- A study Conducted by FriedUnicorn - Vol I (September,1999)
Actually labda I didn’t at that time.. A couple of months it took me to finish it.. I wasn’t snooping around though, I was just bored and playing with her mobile..
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
Shame sandeep, but Im thinking you showed her where the door was once you found that out??
Azzy, I still cant believe that guy! Unbelievable! He looked so innocent too!!! Bloody hell! So yeah you snooped, found out some things that were hard to swallow but you're the better for it, cause the dawgs outta your life!! But girl, 4 times?? You're one patient mama!
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That's how I caught my EX-BF two-timing me. I was kinda stupid too...coz I caught him 4 times in a ROW before I gave him the BOOT...
I know it's bad to snoop...it's about TRUST issue, but I have to protect myself too.
Not now.. I did once long back and came to know something which I could have really done without..
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
salman icon, ignorance isn't always bliss. :(
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mjamille, pls do. I'll be a good Mod I will. LOL prob. have about 2 threads per day.
tess, check if everything's under control? LOL. Okaaay, but ya its important. Need to know whats what.
jervis, it's spelt underwear?! Gawd boy, grammer PLEASE!! Ewwww. :p P.S Bitch cap comes on full swing tmr!
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if u want to be happy in ur life, dont read messages of him/her or any personal belongings.
Dont worry jervis, havent got my bitch cap on today!! LOL. Actually this topic is important for uhm, matters of international security. Yes, I would explain but yknow bound by code and all. ;)
phoenix, no? so what do you give?
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lol labda, we'll make a petition for you to be Mod so you could kick those arses hahaha...
Have been snooping around all day...lol
LOL someonenew, some new guys here that are quite a laugh and I dont see much religious bashing on (what a relief!).
mjamille, that nakayo-disaster must have posted 3 threads alone on underwear. Sigh. If only I were a mod!! :((
Galloper, interesting, a lot of guys I know are snoops!
Nakamura, woohooo a man who admits to snooping!! I like!
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lol someonenew, hard to believe, but there ya go... :P
MJ just saw the UW topic, its the first one in hot topics! I just cant believe it!
"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.
I just don't give s****
Yalla!
snoop? sometimes!
lol someonenew, don't worry, love topics and UW topics are not that much... :P
Oh good I havent been on QL for sometime and I'm glad I haven't missed much
"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.
labda, i agree with you on that one.... :P
hahahahah someonenew, you know I will blame my current IMPAIRED situation on the kinds of threads that are out there these days..."i love you", "what colour's your underwear" "why do we breathe?" "do you go to the toilet in the morning. And why"..,..it's enough to make the saner of us go NUTS! Exhibit 001 right here me lady! :S
Jervis will you stop laughing!!! LOL
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I have no business at all in looking at her mobile; or giving surprise visits.
Is not that I have not thought about it but in the end is a "sign" of insecurity.
On the other hand I know people that "check" their partner's mobile on a daily basis for sms or calls out of routine.
You never know is what they told me!!
Yeah wassup with the Love/Marriage/Partner/Snoop questions? Is QL taking a toll on u? LOL!
"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.
jervis, I know its shite! Dunno how to switch my "All Mush" button off!! Urrrrgggghhh! Blasted Bambi! And her sister!! LOL
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KureduChick, now thats what I'd like in my marriage. Makes so much sense.
someonenew, there you are!! Long time babe! Hahaha so you snoop and tell, I like!!
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Awwwwww!! ;)
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Oh comon guys! Of course everyone snoops they just dont want to admit it thats all, mine's kinda healthy snooping- i snoop n tell.
"Ali Baba and 40 thieves" are now "Ali Baba and 30 thieves" ; 10 were laid off.
My hubby and I know each others passwords and have access to each other phones. Because of that I'm never tempted to look and neither is he. It's all about trust.
Labda ,so i leave him .. i dont like to complicate my life .
Yes you are yes you are!! Psssssttt any tips? Things I should look out for?? nyaha
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samia08, really? Even if you found your partners behaviour to be very suspect??
jervis - hahahaha!! I think I'll put my new skills to work when "he" comes along ;) Ooooh fun!
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jervis!!! ROFLMAO. I do have issues, hehe, but no Im not a snoop like that...just toying with the idea. A lot of girls get a kick outta snooping so maybe Im missing out on the fun!!
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no way
why should i look at his phone Labda ?
that doesn`t get me anywhere
It's different for the couple labda. But, if you feel the need to look at his phone, or he feels the need to hide it, or if you feel the need to hide yours, well...that doesn't speak well of the relationship.
samia08, you too??? Either QLers are THE best behaved people on this planet or somethings not right! LOL
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Olive I know a few couples who have each others passwords. Some guys still openly stray, which to me is another way to say "Break up with me cause Im too chicken to dump you". While others, for obvious reasons are on their best behaviour. ;)
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neverrrrrrr
om Maui, you dont necessarily have to admit. Cant exactly prove it unless the person catches you out in a lie. But yes I agree trust is the way to go. ;)
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Nope. I trust my partner completely. He's given me his facebook & hotmail passwords in the past to either harvest his farmville crops or some other thing and always, after I've done what he's asked, I completely forget his password. :P Frankly there's just nothing that interesting in either. LOL.
Pajju/mjamille...my siblings and I go through each others texts, I have some friends who go through mine, but if a guy I was dating DARED even look sideways at my phone, it's murder! LOL
...but if it was a lazy day and I had nothing else to do and phone was screaming for me to check it out, I think I'd be tempted. hehe
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and when you find something, you would have to admit that you snooped?
been there, done that, no good. learn to trust. if you don't / can't trust your partner, no business in being on a relationship.
nein... :P
The link that might sway you...http://us.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/10/24/tf.in.defense.of.snooping/index.html
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no never